tdh46
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Joined: 1/7/2007
Msg: 1 | |
| WTF is up with women using "being safe"online as an excuse to play games?
Posted: 7/2/2007 6:10:09 AM | With the explosion of internet dating comes an ever bigger explosion of internet predators. Most women know this and go to great lenghts to protect themselves. Most guys online also know this and will make allowances to accomidate a woman trying to be safe.
But if a guy as been online enough he also know there are other women online using "being safe" as just an excuse to play games.
The married woman cheating on her husband will use it as a way of not having to give out any info on herself.
The lonely lady living from behind her computer screen will use it because she has no intention of ever meeting anyone in person.
The girl with the huge ego will use it to dangle as many men as possible online. She is like a puppet master getting guys to dance so her ego can get stroked.
These types give women that are really serious about wanting to be safe a bad name. Guys when they hear it just think it's BS, because it's been used in a BS way so many times. Needing to be safe should never be used online in a BS way, it's just too an important an issue for that. I | |
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| Women needing to be save online versus women with traditional values.
Posted: 7/2/2007 6:28:39 AM | i dont seem to run into the trouble as often, mostly because i suggest meeting in well lit and populated areas the first time or two depending on their comfort level.
but i outlined in my profile that im on here to meet people, not exchange a buncha emails.
im on here cus i have a deficiency to picking up on girl's flirts. so, harder to be as oblivious on here.
from a male perspective though, you sometimes have to watch your ass, some of the chicks off this site are batshit crazy.
...it doesnt help that i love that, perhaps i bring it upon myself, but all the same, between lying about age, hight, weight, i've gotten lied to about gender and beyond. so. watch yourself.
pull the play it safe card on them first and blow their ****ing minds. | |
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tdh46
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Joined: 1/7/2007
Msg: 3 | |
| Women needing to be save online versus women with traditional values.
Posted: 7/2/2007 6:52:19 AM | | I think some guys become desensitized to "being safe" it's like the kid who cried wolf, you hear it enough times under bs circumstances, it tends to lose it's effectivness. Which really is too bad because it's such a hugely important issue online and should never be taken lightly. | |
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wafta
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Joined: 6/14/2007
Msg: 4 | |
| Women needing to be save online versus women with traditional values.
Posted: 7/2/2007 7:11:14 AM | I personally think it all comes down to not meeting "strangers" !!
Get to know someone well enough before meeting them, this could take days, weeks or months depending on the people, but ALWAYS get to know someone before arranging any type of meet.
I don't agree with the coffee meets, simply because what you can learn about someone in an hour over a coffee, can quite as easily be achieved online or on the phone/cam/whatever.
I think some people here are just too eager to meet and don't spend the time and effort getting to know their potential dates first.
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| WTF is up with women using being safeonline as an excuse to play games?
Posted: 7/2/2007 7:12:07 AM | | If you are a true gentleman give ladies always the benefit of the doubt and err on the side of their personal safety, if they the ladies have hidden agendas that is not your concern, the things hidden will surface, but a true gentleman always puts a lady's safety ahead of his suspicions. | |
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tdh46
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Joined: 1/7/2007
Msg: 6 | |
| WTF is up with women using being safeonline as an excuse to play games?
Posted: 7/2/2007 7:21:54 AM | | A woman safety should always come first no question. But the game players also know that they can use this to their advantage. They really have no interest in safety issues, they just want to play and "being safe" is just another tool in their arsenal of deception. | |
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| WTF is up with women using being safeonline as an excuse to play games?
Posted: 7/2/2007 7:29:10 AM | I don't think that it is just an excuse that women use. I know that some do, but men are also doing the same thing. They just want a cyber lover and don't actually want to meet a woman and have a real relationship. They want to play it safe behind their computer screens so they don't have to get emotionally involved. I will meet someone that I am interesting in getting to know better. But trying to find a man that will follow through with an actual meeting, is few and far between. I want a relationship....not a love fest with my keyboard.
Internet dating has it's ups and downs, you have to take what you have learned and use it to know if you will be safe or not. Use your gut instinct and get a feel for the person...move to the phone as soon as possible and meet sooner then later. If they won't talk to you on the phone, then to me, they are hiding something.
Anyway, enough muttering......Have a great day! | |
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| Women needing to be save online versus women with traditional values.
Posted: 7/2/2007 7:35:19 AM | | I don't want to spend months getting to know someone, via the internet. If I am not comfortable enough with someone, after chatting on IM or on the phone, after a month......I am not going to be comfortable with them in two months......What can you get from a cup of coffee, or a walk.....you get a better feel of who the person is and that they are serious about finding someone...that is just my opinion...... | |
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| Women needing to be save online versus women with traditional values.
Posted: 7/2/2007 7:44:26 AM | | I personally like meeting over coffee. It's in a place I know that is comfortable and very public. You get to see who you are talking to and get a feel for the person. There is always a chance from here to take it further. I have had 6 hour coffee dates with some of the greatest conversation that led to being good friends. I have also had coffee dates that led to a month of dating. Lots more is revealed in a month of dating that you would never learn over the internet or telephone conversations. Then again, my mother's adage, "you never know someone until you live with them at least a year". She was a wise woman. I don't understand "playing safe". I figure that being in a public place is safe enough. Heck, I worked on Hastings and Main in Vancouver on Saturday nights and I have an understanding of when it's necessary to be aware of safety. | |
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| WTF is up with women using being safeonline as an excuse to play games?
Posted: 7/2/2007 7:51:00 AM | Wot u have to bear in mind is that some women are so shy that they can't make the transition from behind her computer screen to an actual meet - but sayin that if that is their story the least they could do is b open n upfront bout it.
It really annoys me when u talk to guys n they tell u bout the number of women that can't even reply to a simple e-mail even if it to say they are not interested, or worse (as far as i'm concerned) is they only talk to u when they bored.
Come on people have a bit of decency and treat others as u urself like to be treated - with a bit of respect.
Okay that me had ma rant for the day  | |
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| WTF is up with women using being safeonline as an excuse to play games?
Posted: 7/2/2007 8:07:35 AM |  YOU GO GIRL!! HAPPENED TO ME RECENTLY, WE NEVER MET HE MADE ALL THIS UP THAT HE WOULD MEET ME SOON!! TURNS OUT HE PUT ONE OF HIS FRIENDS UP TO TALKING TO ME . SAID HE DID IT JUST TO SEE HOW TRUE I WAS THIS GUY NEVER EVEN MET ME.WE JUST TALKED ON LINE, SAID I WAS A PLAYER, I DON'T THINK SO!! IM NOT LIKE THAT HOW COULD A MAN DO THAT WHEN YOU HAVE NEVER EVEN MET, NOT LIKE WE WERE SEEING EACH OTHER OR ANYTHING. COULD UNDERSTAND IF WE WERE BUT WERE NOT. HAVE A NICE DAY!! | |
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| WTF is up with women using being safeonline as an excuse to play games?
Posted: 7/2/2007 8:14:48 AM | OP --what kind of questions are you asking? Maybe you're getting too personal too soon.
beagallyboo -- I agree, and would add that sometimes people build up an online persona that they couldn't maintain if they met someone IRL, so they're trapped.
Angeleyes-- Do you know how to turn off the CAPS LOCK? All caps is shouting and is the kiss of death to most people if you want to be taken seriously. (I'd also suggest you re-type your profile in mixed case for the same reasons.) | |
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| WTF is up with women using being safeonline as an excuse to play games?
Posted: 7/2/2007 8:17:39 AM | Hmm, well i reckon in a nutshell you can't really 'weed' these fu**wits out until you have gotten to know them after chatting to them, if you say you want to meet after you fell you have gotten to know them and they use the 'safety' clause, then arrange to meet them somewhere very public.
If they still don't wanna meet ask them why? If people really wanted to meet but had safety concerns they could book a taxi from wherever u meet and not have to worry about psycho stalkers and what not. Plus they can buy their own drinks or whatever takes their fancy.
If they still dont wanna meet then i would say to them, ok so u don't wanna meet now, what needs to change in order for us to be able to meet up?. If their answer isn't what you want to hear, move on they're probably just playing their own little game. As for the ego boosters, they should be easier to spot, just delete them from your chat list mate and move on to someone serious, after all theres plenty more fish in the sea.
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| WTF is up with women using being safeonline as an excuse to play games?
Posted: 7/2/2007 8:38:30 AM | The only thing I find laughable about the "extra security measures" some people seem to take when online dating is that they somehow think that meeting someone through real life rather than the internet is any safer.
Last time I checked there are still plenty of news reports of young women being raped, assaulted or murdered by chaps they met in the bar, at a party, or through social networks... 
Naturally one shouldn't hand over highly personal information like financial records, home addresses, etc. but you wouldn't do that with someone you met the first time in real life, now would you?
Last point: you will never truly know what another person is thinking, and this holds true from the first sentence you read all the way down to "'til death do us part". So if you're the type that wants to be molly-coddled 24/7 I suggest you dig yourself a nice secure little hole in the ground to help you bury your head in the sand.  | |
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| Women needing to be save online versus women with traditional values.
Posted: 7/2/2007 8:55:53 AM |
Get to know someone well enough before meeting them, this could take days, weeks or months depending on the people, but ALWAYS get to know someone before arranging any type of meet.
I don't agree with the coffee meets, simply because what you can learn about someone in an hour over a coffee, can quite as easily be achieved online or on the phone/cam/whatever.
I can't agree with this ^^^^^^^^^.
When I first started online dating, I'd spend all sorts of time emailing, online chatting, occasional webcaming. NONE of those things is anything like meeting IRL. Most of us know within seconds or minutes of meeting someone whether or not we are really attracted to that person and would like to see them again.
Now, on the rare occasions when I do go on a date, I would like that to happen as soon as possible. A few emails, maybe a chat on the phone and then a meeting for coffee or a pint. | |
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tdh46
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Joined: 1/7/2007
Msg: 19 | |
| WTF is up with women using being safeonline as an excuse to play games?
Posted: 7/2/2007 9:04:14 AM | "My favorite irony is the ones that claim"fear and safety" the most are the ones that couldn't attract an attacker in real life while running the streets nude ringing a bell"
Homelessbum that statement is just so wrong on so many levels. Yet very very funny at the same time. | |
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| WTF is up with women using being safeonline as an excuse to play games?
Posted: 7/2/2007 9:20:37 AM | "Extra Security Measures" are essential, as it is common knowledge and an established scientific fact that everyone involved in online dating/romance is an axe-killer, and utilising dating websites is akin to instant death.
Having reassured the axe-wary nervous wreck that a grave is not being prepared for their soon-to-be-dismembered torso, one may encounter the "I've been hurt before in previous relationships" life-preserving safeguard.
One concludes therefore they were 'hurt' by an axe.
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| WTF is up with women using being safeonline as an excuse to play games?
Posted: 7/2/2007 9:35:16 AM | tdh46
every thing you stated has been done to women by men online to stroke their egos and now they boo hoo when the tables are turned
andhonestly whatever it takes to be safe for single women is what it takes
so iguess the advice for avoiding online players forwomen should be also reviewed by men so they are safe and carefull about getting played too by women
jmho though | |
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| WTF is up with women using being safeonline as an excuse to play games ?
Posted: 7/2/2007 10:18:42 AM | Women's safety ? Please give me a break. I ask everyone this : How many women do you know that have been attacked by a total stranger or jumped by a group of people ?
I don't know one !!!
Yet if was to also ask everyone : How many men do you know that have been attacked by a total stranger or jumped by a group of people ? I reckon most of you can think of at least a few examples.
Men are FAR more likely to be attacked that women (FACT)
Yes, men can do some mean things, but it's RARE. AND, I would bet that of those cases of abuse, the women were doing their fair share of abuse as well, either physically, or emotionally. True, some of the victims may be completely innocent, but with so many women totally out of control, there is bound to be some collateral damage.
Women have a deep victim mentality and always on to hand to do the whole 'pity act' on every guy they meet. Even though women have men going out of their way to do things for them that we men never get. Men will shell out money for a female to help her, men stop and try to help stranded females quickly and change flats for them. Men rush to carry things for women, open doors and even will give up their lives to save women. Yet women are always SO quick to call a man "A Weirdo" "A Stalker" "A Perv" "A Freak". Have you noticed that ?
So in answer to the OP the next time a woman gives you the 'safeonline' thing to you essentially it's all about control and her trying to make out like she is the prize. A woman who truly wants to meet you, will meet you, she will NOT risk leaving you on the market for someone else to get. | |
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| WTF is up with women using being safeonline as an excuse to play games ?
Posted: 7/2/2007 11:24:58 AM |
I think someone has lost there mind!!!!!!
Actually, his assertion is correct. He's not talking about sexual assault, he's talking about being the victim of violence. Men experience being the victim of violence in their lifetime more than women, statistically. | |
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| WTF is up with women using being safeonline as an excuse to play games?
Posted: 7/2/2007 11:29:56 AM | Unfortunately I think you are right about all of this.. I myself have met people that are all talk. I think what you need to do though is to honor the woman if she does say she would rather be safe and get to know you online before meeting.
There is only one way to find out if she is bluffing or playing games and that is to be patient. She will eventually show her true colors.. hate to say it but I personally find that you will meet more quality people if you have paid for your membership.
Maybe that is generalizing.. but maybe what you have said is as well. | |
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