| Should you put if you have a disability on your profile or wait?
Posted: 7/8/2007 3:53:00 PM | I am proud to be deaf now so I had no struggle with this, but I have disabled friends on here who dont because they say they feel they wont get mail because of it.
I look at it this way........I am who I am and if people dont mail me because of who I am then they wasn't really interested in the real me in the first place!
Anyone else feel like me or my friends?
Garrie x
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| Should you put if you have a disability on your profile or wait?
Posted: 7/8/2007 4:04:42 PM | I think if you can lip read and speak there is no reason to put it in but people who sign only should probably say because there date will want to be able to talk to them.
Disabilites should only need to be put in profiles in they will affect the date | |
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| I am disabled. Pearls before swine...
Posted: 7/8/2007 4:04:45 PM | I am disabled also. I have ADD. I also have a back injury from a car accident . I have Lyme disease which leaves me weak and tired alot. I have fibromyalgia frolm the Lyme disease. I have Chronic Fatigue from all of the above. But most of all I feel disabled from the weight that Ihave gained due to the lack of energy sand exercise from all of the above.
To asnwer your question...yes. I think we should be up front about our disabilities but I am not going to put it all in my profile. After, When I talk to someone online and see that they are a real human being and that they are worth the time to share my secrets and my pearls with...then I will speak about it openly and honestly.
I am special. I am worth waiting for.
Thanks for opening this question up to the masses. Most people have disabilities. Most of them won't admit it to themselves, let alone anyone else. Soetimes a disability is hidden. ..like prejuduce...and sometimes not, like deafness or blindness but none are so blind as those who will not see.
Be Proud of who you are. Shout it from the mountains. I am disabled.
Robin | |
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| Should you put if you have a disability on your profile or wait?
Posted: 7/8/2007 4:15:39 PM | Well it helps if it is already in my profile femredhead as it saves them talking to the back of my head at the bar and thinking i am ignorant because I dont answer ;)
I would shout it from the rooftops Ruby if I knew how loud I was shouting lol!
Garrie x | |
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| Should you put if you have a disability on your profile or wait?
Posted: 7/8/2007 5:10:46 PM | | I think that if its a disability that would be noticable when you met in person or if its something that could make a date or a relationship challenging then it should be in the profile. If it is included in the profile I think its also good to list what kind of an impact it makes--or on the other hand--how little impact. I have seen one profile here where a fellow talks about having some neurological disease, but he apparently is totally independent in his life. I saw another one where the first thing the man wrote was "I am deaf" and it felt sort of 'in my face' because I knew nothing else... just that | |
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| Should you put if you have a disability on your profile or wait?
Posted: 7/8/2007 5:37:37 PM | | I have had some very good friends who were deaf over the years. Aside from having to be sure they were looking my way when I was talking - their disablity was never an issue. If someone doesn't want to give you a chance based soley on your impairment, its thier loss. | |
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| Should you put if you have a disability on your profile or wait?
Posted: 7/8/2007 5:38:48 PM | | From my experience, you have plenty of company if you are disabled with the online dating sites. if you are also broke, badly in debt, have mental illness... down on your luck and the victim of many terrible things.... you should be able to find someone EASILY... and not spend years going on dates and meeting people who are not for you. | |
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| Should you put if you have a disability on your profile or wait?
Posted: 7/8/2007 6:11:32 PM | | Yes, put it in your profile. One of the first dates I had after my husband passed was with someone I had written to for quite a while. Never mentioned he was disabled. I just spent 5 years caring for a disabled husband and I wasn't ready to do it again, so had he been up front with his disabilities we would not have been corresponding. Not that I have anything against a disabled person, I just felt he wasn't honest on his profile. That's just my opinion. Good luck in your search. | |
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| Should you put if you have a disability on your profile or wait?
Posted: 7/8/2007 6:25:12 PM | From a woman with a young son with Austism you need to be honest and upfront. If anyone doesn't want to message you because you're deaf they don't deserve to be with you. Just because you can't hear doesn't mean you're not a good person. Sign language courses are out there and you would be suprised at how many hearing people know how to sign already.....I sign. So tell them upfront, if they don't want to contact you they aren't worth bothering with anyway. Most of all be proud of who you are.  | |
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| Should you put if you have a disability on your profile or wait?
Posted: 7/8/2007 9:15:52 PM | I'd post it if it in someway will affect how the two of you will communicate once you get together. It in no way whatsoever makes you or anyone else with a disability less of a person - and that's the kind of person you want to be corresponding with - one that realizes that fact. You have to admit, somethings can be quite a bit different - say a wheelchair vs. an artificial knee. Some things need to be in the open. Look at it the other way round - it will help you weed out some of the less desireables.....  | |
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| Should you put if you have a disability on your profile or wait?
Posted: 7/9/2007 9:01:07 AM | Well, I didn't really expect such a huge array of replies to this post.
First off, Euny, Just think of the friend you wouldn't have had if he had stated he was disabled..... ;)
Second, Normalspeed, What the heck are you on about disabled means not being able to work?.....you obviously have lead a sheltered life........bet you didn't know that David Blunkett was blind.......I mean he only ran the country with Tony :)
The biggest problem I come across being deaf is the narrow mindness of non disabled people........I have been a nurse, a regional manager and a professional singer.......but because I am now deaf I cant get an opportunity in work to show what I can really do!
Instead I was offered work that wouldn't have been challenging to a 10yr old.........it seems to me that they think when your hearing is affected then your ability think is affected too!!
Anyway I could moan on about the discrimination and how it has affected my life in the last 6yrs (including my wife leaving me because of it) but who's bitter? hehe!
Garrie x | |
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| Should you put if you have a disability on your profile or wait?
Posted: 7/9/2007 10:22:16 AM | Hmmm I'm not sure.
I mean if you want to meet someone the natural step would be IM then chat on the phone. So I think a woman would need to know if someone was deaf. That would not make me not talk to the person especially if we had a lot in common.
I would want to know prior to meeting if someone was in a wheelchair. (this wouldn't need to be in a profile... but would just need a heads up before meeting ... it would not stop me from meeting someone)
Hopefully, we aren't talking about mental disabilities.... I don't think I'd want to know! LOL jk | |
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| Should you put if you have a disability on your profile or wait?
Posted: 7/10/2007 2:53:43 AM | | Good post Garrie x. It's not that any disability is undesirable, but surprises are. If I showed up to discover that she left out the fact she was 7 months pregnant, or 50 lbs heavier I'd be much more agitated - no disability issues involved. Deafness isn't a turn-off for cool people anyway. Mention it, it's who you are. | |
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| Should you put if you have a disability on your profile or wait?
Posted: 7/16/2007 5:35:06 PM | | I am a firm believer in honesty. I put I'm in a chair and in the past, if I didn't put it in my profile, I certainly said it outright to any potential dates. I never want the guy to scream and run when he sees me for the first time. It's just consideration for him and saves embarrassment for you. It also saves hurt feelings because I'd rather be rejected before I met a guy than be rejected in public. It's happened and hurt ALOT. | |
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