| 17 and 3/4 year old girl wants a tattoo .. HELP?
Posted: 7/9/2007 5:59:31 PM | I am supposed to be having a discussion regarding this with her. She graduated from high school this year and thinks its time ot get a tattoo..
I'm sooo undecided.. I don't know what to say. She has a few months to wait until she's 18.. then she can do whatever she wants so a few months seems dumb .. but.. on the other hand, I just know that if she gets this tattoo.. and it doesn't turn out right or good or whatever, the ex will blame me.
I have a tattoo myself that I got when I was like 43 ..
Suggestions, opinions, rotten tomatoes??? | |
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Pucks
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Joined: 10/14/2006
Msg: 2 | |
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| 17 and 3/4 year old girl wants a tattoo .. HELP?
Posted: 7/9/2007 6:19:24 PM | Its better that she be talking to you about it now and getting some insight than just runing out and getting one and coming home and "Showing" it to you.
Why not discuss the pros and cons and help her decide what is best for her.
Does the tatoo she want still look like a good idea when she's your age?
Will the placement of the tatoo affect her future earnings? Will the placement make the tatoo look funky as her body ages (ie a perky breast at 18 looks alot less perky after she's 30 and has had a child or two).
Personally I think a small tatoo in a discrete location can be very nice and don't see anything wrong with it if thats what she wants to do. | |
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| 17 and 3/4 year old girl wants a tattoo .. HELP?
Posted: 7/9/2007 6:29:17 PM | If your concern is your ex blaming you, then have your daughter dicuss it with her father also... include him in the decision.
If the time until she is 18 is so short then tell her your answer is she can wait... what's another few months. | |
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| 17 and 3/4 year old girl wants a tattoo .. HELP?
Posted: 7/9/2007 6:43:11 PM | There is an older thread on this...you might be able to get more insight from.
I allowed my daughter to get a tattoo at 16, I think it was. It varies with each child....
How long has this been a desire? We thought about ours for at least a year...researched the actual art and what was being done....did not just get any tat that would later be regretted.
Hard decision...but you can say you want to wait for her to be legal. (We actually modified my daughters birth certificate to get hers early....naughty, but it was my decision!)
I think one needs to consider the who, what, why, where of WHY she wants a tat? Is it because she will be able to...a milestone for turning 18? | |
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| 17 and 3/4 year old girl wants a tattoo .. HELP?
Posted: 7/9/2007 6:54:31 PM | Your child knows that they can get their tattoo in a few months. The reason they want to discuss it with you is because they think your opinion is important ant that is awesome.
The fact of the matter is that she is going to do what she wants to do. Give her your honest opinion and forget everything else. In other words ... to hell with what her dad will think because your daughter is asking your opinion.
She is an adult and I'm sure she can handle her father just fine. I have two girls 13 and 11 and I know they handle me just fine ... I can just imagine what it'll be like at 18. | |
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| 17 and 3/4 year old girl wants a tattoo .. HELP?
Posted: 7/9/2007 6:56:53 PM | | as a person who went out and got a tattoo at age 16, i tell her to wait, unless it is a tattoo that is a memorial for someone i will say wait because i hate the one i got when i was 16, now i'm 22 and i have 3 more, all of which i love but i hate the first one i got | |
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| 17 and 3/4 year old girl wants a tattoo .. HELP?
Posted: 7/9/2007 6:59:35 PM | | oh gosh....what a deep meaningful desire........that ones a keeper for sure.......i mean i could care less really i've lived on the edge my whole life....so no worries.....you know maybe tell her: you get into a darn good college and we'll talk about the tat.. | |
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| 17 and 3/4 year old girl wants a tattoo .. HELP?
Posted: 7/9/2007 7:14:34 PM | I have 5 tattoo's myself.. If your daughter is dead serious on getting one, do the research with her.. Look for a place that has a good reptutation.. Clean reptutation.. She'll be an adult soon anyway and she been so young may go any place and not thoroughly look into it.. And later regret it.. Just help her make this decision.. Don't try to talk her out of it cause then its all that more attractive..
Either way, it's her body... And she will do it if she wants.. Just make sure she's getting a tattoo she can live forever with.. Ask her that.. In 5, 10, 20 yrs do you want that on your body..
If my daughter or son wanted a tattoo at 15, 16, 17 I would instead of talking them out of it, I would make sure they get it done safely and done by someone who knows what their doing... Cause they will get one if they want one!! | |
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| 17 and 3/4 year old girl wants a tattoo .. HELP?
Posted: 7/9/2007 7:27:20 PM | My kids have already talked abouteh tattooes they will one day get, after all to them it is what you do as I have 4 of them. They also know that I have been spending time and money having my tat's fixed up/redone to be more suited to me and have a better appearance as they are ones I got done at 18/19 without much thought into them. My rules for the kids getting tattooes are simple:
1. Choose a design, put it on a bulletin board or in a drawer for 1 year. If the design still has special meaning to you 1 year later then fine, if not and you find yourself making adjustments to it, you have to wait another year.
2. All tat's must be done in locations that can be easily covered when not appropriate, for example job interviews, work, church etc.
3. You must be 18 and pay for the tat with your own money, I am paying enough money to cover-up, fix-up the tat's I got when I was young I am not paying for theirs too.
4. Any tat you feel speaks to you and about you is a go as long as it does not depict nudity or foul language. I don't care if they are 18 or 81 I will not condone a tat like that. | |
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| 17 and 3/4 year old girl wants a tattoo .. HELP?
Posted: 7/9/2007 7:32:36 PM | If your original answer to this question was wait until you are 18 then stick with it. You cannot keep her from doing it but being involved is better than her not researching the shop, artist, etc.
Also, something that you might want to spring for is a semi-permanent tattoo. We were recently on a cruise and there is some type of airbrushing that looks like a real tattoo. It might dissuade. I thought it was a waste of money because they last a week or so but in this case, $20 would be a good investment.
My stepson was told that he had to wait until he was 18, and it was one of the first things he did. He told me that as soon as it was done he was sorry he did it. She might not like it when it is actually there verses imagining what it would be like.
If she is 18, your X has no say in it and like you value his opinion anyway? | |
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| 17 and 3/4 year old girl wants a tattoo .. HELP?
Posted: 7/9/2007 7:38:46 PM | what kind of tattoo is it?? in memory of someone or something that she would want to always be with her??
my mom wanted me to wait untill i was 18 to get a tattoo i was bound n bet i was gonna get one as soon as i turned 18...i have still yet to get one...more because i dont want something on my body that im going to hate in 10 years...
sit down with her n maybe ask what it is she wants to get....something important to her or something she wants just cuz its a tattoo..? | |
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| 17 and 3/4 year old girl wants a tattoo .. HELP?
Posted: 7/9/2007 7:41:09 PM | if seh really wants it, then she'll pursue it when she's 18, but til then just say taht you want whats best for her and to really consider the design she wants because it's going to be stayed on for a long long time and should be something she wont' regret later. And as someone mentioned, it should be placed in a place that could be hidden but also put it in an appropriate place that has some class. Ask her why she needs a tatoo, and if it's a good reason, then that's up to you to approve.
If she is serious with teh design, you should have her do thorough research on finding a good tatoo place and artist for a month or two. I also agree that she should pay for this since she wants it, but offer tha tyou'll be there to offer support when she needs it. | |
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Kazot
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Joined: 12/7/2006
Msg: 14 | |
| 17 and 3/4 year old girl wants a tattoo .. HELP?
Posted: 7/9/2007 7:45:42 PM | EAP Tough one.
I have had the same discussion with my seventeen year old daughter.
At that age the only real authority you have over them is what they give you from love and respect. So I looked her in the eye asked her please not to because it was part of my job to get her to eighteen in the best condition I could and if she were to get a tattoo against my request it would be a failure on my part.
So far we are good on these decisions but she is chomping at the bit to be free.  | |
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| 17 and 3/4 year old girl wants a tattoo .. HELP?
Posted: 7/9/2007 7:54:21 PM | Well, you might as well sit down with her and talk about it like many others have mentioned, because in a few months she can just go do it. This way you can find a good artist, not some bum she bumps into in town. Maybe by offering to help pay for part or all of it, you may have more input on what she gets and when. Hey, maybe you can both get one together, that can be a great mom and daughter experience, instead of her just going on her own when she turns 18. Your possibilities are endless, and only you know your daughter best, but I would not raise to much a stink over something she can do on her own in the very very near future. My oldest is only 14 and we have not come up to the tattoo issue yet lol but since I have always pondered getting one myself, maybe if my daughter brings up this issue, I will go get one with her for her 18th B-day.
Cheers!! | |
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| 17 and 3/4 year old girl wants a tattoo .. HELP?
Posted: 7/9/2007 8:22:54 PM | This is a tough one...it is.
I always told my boys they could get a tattoo when they turned 18. For YEARS my oldest had his planned... he joined the Army when he turned 17 so I made allowances (lol). I waited and waited for that kid to get a tattoo and still (he's 22) no body art for him.
However -the youngest never said a word about getting a tattoo - until a few days before his 18th birthday. Then we started talking...although I'd always told them they could do what they wanted at 18 - I explained to him how I'd rather changed my mind. I gave him all the reasons to wait... blah blah blah. 3 days after his 18th bday he came home with a HUGE triple X tattoo on his left arm (represents straight edge - no tobacco, no alcohol, no drugs). This thing was/is massive - way too big to hide...so to speak.
This kid got exactly the tattoo he wanted: that which he felt so totally defined him - and it did. Until he joined the military and has started living his life. He's since smoked a cigar and had more than one drink. I spent some time with him recently...we were enjoying a beer on the golf course when I asked him what his plans were for the tattoo...a red line through it? What?
He kinda laughed at that and then said the magic words "I should have listened to you, Mom." I told him years ago that, although I was proud of his choices to be drug, alcohol, and tobacco free - he may change his mind about the alcohol part as he got older. Maybe even the tobacco part (gods forbid the drug part).
Maybe you could have your daughter talk to folks like him. The ones who got their tattoos too soon... kids don't want to listen to parents. We don't know anything and would never understand...
Good luck - | |
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| 17 and 3/4 year old girl wants a tattoo .. HELP?
Posted: 7/9/2007 9:40:21 PM | I sort of made the decision reading everyone's comments and thinking about it alot.. That she can get her tattoo when she's 18 !! She's a fine arts student so of course she is into that kind of thing.
We went through the piercing stage, she had two snakebites and a nose piercing. A year and half later all she has left is her nose.. and that's very tasteful. She took her others out when she decided to become an art teacher.
As for the guy who said something about a deep meaningful desire.. Oh get a life.. She's 17!! | |
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| 17 and 3/4 year old girl wants a tattoo .. HELP?
Posted: 7/9/2007 10:54:10 PM | | I really had to beg my mom to get one and i was 16 i bugged here since i was like 12 but she finaly caved in she came with me to pick one out but mind u theres only one out of my 9 i regret and wish wasnt there make her realize that its there for life perminant and as long as she doesnt get it around her belly button fine cause my friend got 2 lizzards around hers and when she got pregnant they looked like alligators yes u where 43 when u got yours but u where old enough to wait and decide that it was the right time for you there are alot of health risks to when it comes to tattoos u have to make sure the place is clean and the tools are well sterilized and that they dont use the same needles on people make her realize the health risks and consiquences . i cant really say much more cause i have so many of them but for me im addicted to them i have been for a long time. | |
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| 17 and 3/4 year old girl wants a tattoo .. HELP?
Posted: 7/10/2007 3:19:05 AM | | As a younger person myself but also a mother I understand the need and drive for independence and as she is coming of age she is looking to do her first adult thing. My opinion is that if you tell her no she will find a way to do it no matter what but if you support her desires but also offer guidance it will be much more effective. I would discuss with her what the tattoo is of where it is located and also perhaps print off a page of the risks associated with her action. If she is going to do it in a few months anyways why deny her what she will inevitably do already whereas you could come out looking like the cool mom. Perhaps helping her pick the design will bring you two closer, plus you have the ability to do research on the place she wants to have it done, for example be sure they have a current license and research any comments people who have already had tattoos done there have posted. It is better to approve and research then deny and take away her independence and make her doubt how much you trust her decisions. At that age she should be more than capable of making an educated decision with the information in front of her. So my opinion is go with the flow and help her decide on something reasonable and responsible and intelligent. | |
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| 17 and 3/4 year old girl wants a tattoo .. HELP?
Posted: 7/10/2007 7:15:23 AM | Since Im kind of an old fashioned gal, Id say no. Not until she is on her own, then she may do as she pleases. I realize you are an "adult" at 18, but just because its the law doesnt mean the actual 18 yr. old is.
I remember I got my belly pierced on my 20th bday and my mom had a fit. She said when she would get mad at me, shed want to tug on that ring and pull me to her  | |
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| 17 and 3/4 year old girl wants a tattoo .. HELP?
Posted: 7/10/2007 7:27:55 AM | | mornin. i got my first tattoo at fourteen, a kid will do it if they have the means, but on the down side, my first tattoo of a wolf on my arm changed as i grew, now i got a weasel there. i do believe if they want it they'll get it, they should atleast know that it could affect them in the future since some dont believe its proper for certain carreers if its visible, others get a bad gun or artist and what was a nice flash turns into some smeared ink blot stuck on them, if she really wants one, encourage her to get it done right, not "hey i just made a new shader, want a tat i need to try it out" (never paid for any of my tattoos, just gave a friend a flash and said yah put this right there) If she decides get it done at a shop, but check out the previous work first, or better yet know some people that got it there/and other places to see what they think of them. ive drawn some nice tatts for people, only to see some one else mess it up completely, then they got a big mess on them and tryin to get a new tatt to cover that one. dont know if this helps much | |
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| 17 and 3/4 year old girl wants a tattoo .. HELP?
Posted: 7/10/2007 11:30:55 AM | This is an easy one....I wish they were all so easy.
Tell them when they are 18 and out of the house they can get as many tattoos, piercings, or stupid haircuts as they like.
When my son was 18 and out of the house, he came over for a weekend and I noticed his ears were pierced....He said he was having trouble cleaning them and then reinserting them and asked if I'd help him...As I was putting in my sons earring into his ear lobe, I mentioned that this wasn't exactly the kind of Father/son bonding I had in mind...LOLOL | |
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| 17 and 3/4 year old girl wants a tattoo .. HELP?
Posted: 7/10/2007 8:19:55 PM | | well my mother took me when i was 16 to get my first tattoo, how i see it is if i hadnt of had my mother there i would have picked somethin distasteful and eventualyl regret. My mother helped me pick out a tasteful tattoo that i know i wont regret. If she would have told me to wait till i was 18 i would have gotten a tattoo that i know she wouldnt approve of, as long as they get one that is tasteful i dont see a problem. | |
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| 17 and 3/4 year old girl wants a tattoo .. HELP?
Posted: 7/10/2007 8:40:09 PM | I got a tattoo when I was around 18. I had always known I wanted to get a dragon tattoo on my back for years. I found a design I loved, went to a clean, somewhat pricey place, and they did a great job on my tat! I've had it for a little over 4 years and it still looks pretty new.
I do not regret it. I've been wanting to get another tattoo to complement the one I already have, but I have not found one that I like. I'm also scared that a second tat won't be the same quality as the first one, since I'm pretty sure the artist doesn't work at that location anymore.
I think it is important that she thinks about what kind of tat she wants for awhile before actually getting inked to make sure its not an impulse (or just a fad to look cool) and that she will always like the design. Plus location of tat is very important too! | |
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| 17 and 3/4 year old girl wants a tattoo .. HELP?
Posted: 7/10/2007 10:32:32 PM | My daughter just went and did it last year (as her grad present at 17 years old) without talking about it with me, though I knew it was on her mind for some point in the future.
Since we have a very close relationship and she tells me things most teens would never speak to their parents about... and I'm talking about REALLY personal stuff, I was really hurt. That was what I was more mad about. She tells me she's ready for sex but can't trust me about a tattoo? And she told her dad.
I might have made the skin encasing the rest of her, but it now belongs to her. All I wanted was to have some kind of input on design since in one of my incarnations I was a professional artist and have an eye for it.
But she just went and did it.
I'd suggest being supportive and make sure you get to see what she's got in mind. She's going to do it the minute she's able anyway. Make sure she does it right. And make sure she tells her dad.
My girl's tattoos are on her ankle and are very pretty. She had graduated from school an honour student, valedictorian, never been in trouble... I wasn't worried about a tattoo. It was just that she held back that one thing from me when we share so much else and I didn't understand. | |
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