| smokers dating non smokers!!!!
Posted: 7/11/2007 10:35:36 AM | | I have a little problem met a wonderful man we get along really well...he is a non smoker and doesnt date smokers..A friend of mine who is also a male and does not smoke says that just quit..I wonder if any one else has had the same issue . | |
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| smokers dating non smokers!!!!
Posted: 7/11/2007 10:38:34 AM | | I had some instances like that... he is not the one for you. You do not need to quit until your ready.... not because of some man. | |
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| smokers dating non smokers!!!!
Posted: 7/11/2007 10:38:45 AM | | I'm a nonsmoker. I dated a smoker for a little while... I was always sick, and always smelled like cigarettes. It was a factor in why I stopped seeing her. Not the only reason, but it had some weight. Come on, i had sinus problems for like two months straight. :) I guess I don't react well to cigarette smoke. Maybe for others it wouldn't be a big deal. | |
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| smokers dating non smokers!!!!
Posted: 7/11/2007 10:43:16 AM | That would have to be your personal choice. I am a smoker I know how hard it is to quit. I have tried several times and failed. So, it would depend on much you care for each other. If you where ever looking for a reason, this may be it. But, the motiviation must be there and if you both agree to work together on it, it just be possible for you to actually and finally quit for good.
Good luck on whatever you decide :):) | |
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| smokers dating non smokers!!!!
Posted: 7/11/2007 10:44:14 AM | I sometimes wonder about this myself.
About half if the emails I get are from gals that I could not have sent a message to because they have my age and/or smoking blocked out.
I can only assume - “some” people’s hard set ***RULES*** must leave some room for exceptions lol.
I personally think non-smokers have every right in the world to not be subjected to the crap.
I am not exactly a chain smoker - I think it would be great if some little cutie pie came along and ..... umm came up with umm ...... incentives for me not to smoke. | |
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| smokers dating non smokers!!!!
Posted: 7/11/2007 10:45:35 AM | Having asthma, smoke takes my breath away. No, honey, don't stop smoking for a man but do it for yourself and your health. You'll be glad you did. And look at the money you can save with heath benefits to boot!!!! | |
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| smokers dating non smokers!!!!
Posted: 7/11/2007 10:45:36 AM | | I understand that I really do but I simply cant grasp that we totally connect on evry level and he simply put it that he doesnt care how beautiful a lady is he would never date her.I said that there is mints and lots of factors that would not put him around smoke .I guess maybe if he truly liked me then he would support me till i quit smoking in shortter terms guess he doesnt like me in that way at all ...... | |
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| smokers dating non smokers!!!!
Posted: 7/11/2007 10:56:31 AM | Maybe he does like you in that way, but he knows how hard it is to quit; you may never. And he could say the same thing about you "She must not really like me in that way at all, if she won't quit."
Don't look at it in terms of who likes who in what way and how much.
And I know how much it sucks to find someone that you really connect with, and have one single factor that seems to keep you apart. At least yours is one that you can do something about. If you've found that one guy in ten million that you REALLY click with, you may be passing up the opportunity of a lifetime, in exchange for what?
I don't smoke. I don't have any addiactions worse than caffeine (cokes). So I can't imagine what it must be like to try and quit. But I do know what it's like to have one factor keep you apart from that one person you really click with. If you want it, you're going to have to fight for it. | |
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| smokers dating non smokers!!!!
Posted: 7/11/2007 10:56:50 AM | I am a smoker, I can totally understand why a non-smoker wouldn't ever date a smoker. It's a disgusting habit, I think we all know the bs that comes along with smoking, smells, bad breath, etc.
If I was a non-smoker why would I ever want to be around such things?
Bottom line is, smoking sucks. If I ever manage to quit, I will never date a smoker. Too much of a chance that I might start smoking again. <- there's another reason why a non-smoker might not want to date a smoker, and sorry but no women anywhere is worth my life for something as stupid as cigarettes.
I have to get up and use mouth wash and brush my teeth forever just to get rid of the super strong bad breath that comes from smoking before I can even kiss a girl I'm with. That's a pain in the butt because it takes the spontaneity out of the good morning rogering. | |
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| smokers dating non smokers!!!!
Posted: 7/11/2007 11:00:15 AM | It's true that you can't quit smoking for someone else...you have to want to quit for yourself. But for those who are thinking about quiting, you might want to see your Dr. and get a prescription for Chantix. I've been on it for a week and a half now and it's the only thing I've ever tried that actually works. I'm having no withdrawal symptoms at all...only the habit part of reaching for one which isn't that big of a deal.
As for the OP...smoking is a deal breaker for a lot of people. And you really can't blame a non smoker for not wanting to be around someone who smokes. I have smoked for about 30 years and know how it stinks up your house, car, clothes, body and everything else it come into contact with. I am so looking forward to ridding myself of them for good. | |
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| smokers dating non smokers!!!!
Posted: 7/11/2007 11:07:15 AM | My ex-wife quit smoking when we met because she had found out I do not date smokers. I didn't know she was a smoker - she just stopped on her own because of meeting me (she told me this). Well, as time went on, she wanted to smoke a little again (this is when I found out she was a smoker at the time we met).
Did I feel dupped or what??? I THOUGHT I had met a non-smoker.
Bottom line - be honest. Smoke if you want. Quit if YOU want. But above all, let the other person make their decision on dating based on all the facts. | |
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| smokers dating non smokers!!!!
Posted: 7/11/2007 11:14:01 AM | | From the perspective of a non-smoker, one of the biggest issues for me is I would never be able to commit to a smoker long-term. I had to put up with constant chain smoking while living with my parents for 20 years, and I never got used to it. It makes me physically ill, gives me chronic headaches, and is a health risk in general. Basically, it's just not something I'm willing to deal with now that I have a choice. | |
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| smokers dating non smokers!!!!
Posted: 7/11/2007 11:27:16 AM | I don't date smokers....
I met someone that said he smoked once in a while..... and drank socially...
Which was really..... I smoke a pack a day and I'm an alcoholic!
The once in a while... was before we went out.... If we were leaving the restaurant and I went to the restroom he'd run outside so he could smoke..... if we were at my place he'd have to go on my patio several times to smoke....
He was polite about it... never smoked in the car or in my home....
Yeah.. I'd rather not date a smoker...
No one can make anyone quit.... they have to want to quit... but could pick it back up very quickly if they slip up and have one! | |
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| smokers dating non smokers!!!!
Posted: 7/11/2007 11:36:28 AM | It depends on the two people involved.
I know some people who cannot stand being around or cannot tolerate due to asthma, allergies, etc. , a smoker. I completely understand and accept that, but they should be honest from the start. I had someone that was intensely drawn to me - loved everything about me, but my smoking became a problem. Unfortunately, they didn't tell me this until MUCH later, after we were emotionally involved. It isn't fair to make someone believe you accept them in all ways only to be thrown off a cliff later on because of the one thing to them that is a deal breaker. If you have something that is a deal breaker - state it from the get go. Don't allow that beautiful body or charismatic personality to blind you to the fact another person has a habit that you cannot tolerate. Maybe they will stop smoking, but what if they don't...? What if they stop and start again...? You have to know your own tolerances.
On the other hand I've been around non-smokers who didn't have any problem with my smoking and I've been around smokers who of course wouldn't have any reason to complain lol It's all up to the parties involved and looking closely at reality.
I completely understand why smoking isn't a good thing. I'm the idiot that started smoking at nearly 40 years old lol. | |
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| smokers dating non smokers!!!!
Posted: 7/11/2007 11:39:26 AM | I am finding that I am stopping little by little. It isn't easy. I used to smoke a pack a day. I am down to less than half a pack a day. Honestly, I really enjoy smoking.
It is very hard to quit cold turkey. Sometimes I will smoke half a cigarette and put the other half away for later.
The less I smoke, the more I realize that it leaves a nasty taste in my mouth.
I know that there are many men who wouldn't even consider dating me because I smoke. We are all aware of the poisons in cigarettes. I suppose if I met someone who was worth it, I'd try much harder not to smoke.
Fact: Nicotine is more addictive than heroin | |
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| smokers dating non smokers!!!!
Posted: 7/11/2007 12:04:11 PM | OP.... this has nothing to do with YOU.... this is about HIM. He doesn't date non-smokers. Period. It's his choice... as it is your choice to smoke. There could be so many reasons why he's adamant about it. Mine is from experience. I had quit for 3 yrs and then started dating and eventually living with a smoker. I'm not blaming him, but with being around it constantly I started smoking again. Only for a year before I quit for good, but that was a very valuable lesson for me. I can't have even a puff AND I can't have it in my life.
Don't knock him for making healthy life choices. | |
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| smokers dating non smokers!!!!
Posted: 7/11/2007 12:09:22 PM | It is such a deal breaker with me that I do not even consider dating a smoker.
Ever wonder what a kiss from a smoker tastes like? If you are a non smoker, its like kissing a tail pipe from a lawn mower. YUCK
Do both of you a favor. If in dought, you know this is an issue that will come up at a later date. Just do not take it any further. | |
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| smokers dating non smokers!!!!
Posted: 7/11/2007 12:11:18 PM | | i was dating a non-smoker who hated cigarette smoke. she whined and complained and whatever, but i just kept smoking. when she met me i smoked, and she asked me if i ever thought about quitting and i said yeah but not now, and not for a while, til i'm out of college. and well, one time i quit smoking because i was really sick, and she thought i quit for her, and then started asking me to do other crap for her, with the excuse "well you quit smoking for me" so i started again. we didn't fit at all, but smoking wasn't one of the reasons why we broke up. if you start dating a guy and he starts telling you to quit, stand your ground if you don't want to. because normally, when people quit, they end up starting again, and it'll just cause fights. | |
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| smokers dating non smokers!!!!
Posted: 7/11/2007 12:14:55 PM | Quit.... quit... quit.... the best thing is to quit...
Do you not know that smoking will kill you... I smoked for 18teen yrs.. did you know that i quit in one day.. why becouse my determinations was there... MY kids were so worth the effort to do so...
When your daughter says.. Mommy.. I have no one to look up too in life.. everyone smokes and drinks... The teachers do this.. the movie stars and even the professionals do this.. My grandma.... and father and you...... Who is going to set a example for me when I grow up..
Do you all want me to drink and smoke and take drugs.... Is this the kind of live you want me to live... To have a husband who beets me and to be homeless on the streets and to be sick all the time.... Haaa.. mommmy is this what you want for me... My teachers all tell me I stink when i come into their room..... and they tell me to hang my jacket outside.. and they place me at the back of the room..... Mom... I don't want to live like this anylonger...
Will you be my hero.. Can I look up too you please.. I dont want to be a smoker.. Please love me more then your cig, and drinking.. and I know you quit drugs before i was born but my dad did not and my aunts and uncles still do it.... Please mommy... Love me more then life...
Now.. If you think of a man wanting the same thing... and him begging you to quit so you dont die on him... think twice.. next time you take a cig...... Pastor Julie
P.s. Yes I became a pastor last year... To show my child.. how much I love her... and my son to show him that a man can change his life.. Any moment he wants too...
If you really love him then the sacrafice is worth it in the end...  | |
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| smokers dating non smokers!!!!
Posted: 7/11/2007 12:15:19 PM | I am a smoker and I actually had a relationship with a non-smoker for about a year.
I just would not smoke around him and accepted that he didn't like the smell of cigarettes or the taste of it.( I am not a heavy smoker though...I guess for heavy smokers it might be a problem.)
So you can work around it with respect for the other person. He didn't tell me to stop smoking. So if that guy doesn't want to date a smoker ...well there is a problem. If you want to stop...do it because you want to do it for yourself not just for him. It is more healthy not to smoke and he might be a good factor. | |
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| smokers dating non smokers!!!!
Posted: 7/11/2007 12:17:08 PM | I'm a non-smoker who refuses to date smokers or tobacco chewers. I don't enjoy kissing an ashtray (and you gotta enjoy kissing your partner, right??), nor will I sit in the smoking section of a restaurant. Do I miss out on dating some great guys? YEP! But then they miss out on dating a great girl. There are plenty of other "fish" in the sea.
We're all allowed to have our preferences or "rules" of dating.
You're sadly mistaken if you think smoking outside, breath mints, etc. will mask it. Your breath smells even right after you brush your teeth. Your clothes and body smell after you've had a cigarette outside. I know this -- I have dated smokers in the past and will not do it again, ever. | |
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Larrk
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Joined: 7/5/2007
Msg: 24 | |
| smokers dating non smokers!!!!
Posted: 7/11/2007 12:23:23 PM | | I think it comes down to preferences also. It was very hard for me to quit and now that I am 9 months without one why risk it? I have friends that smoke but in a relationship I really don't want it around me all the time. I loved smoking but had to quit for health reasons. If it is important to date a non smoker I'd it your profile and then it won't be an issue later on. | |
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| smokers dating non smokers!!!!
Posted: 7/11/2007 12:23:41 PM | I've dated smokers in the past. Won't do it again. I have a bad reaction to second hand smoke. Watery eyes, nausia, can taste it in the air. It comes and goes but why should I have to deal with it from someone I'm dating?
And I don't expect anyone to quit for me. That's a very personal decision. I'm not here to change anyone. I'm just here to make life more fun for those I'm with. | |
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