| Trust
Posted: 7/12/2007 10:20:05 PM | Maybe we don’t trust enough. Maybe we deserve to be trusted and maybe people deserve trust. Walking down the road of your home town, its hard to walk by a person without tensing up. We all do it, we were raised to not trust. No one ever considered in teaching our kids the lessons they have been taught they wouldn’t be trusted in the process. In doing this we taught that it was ok to never give away our whole selves to another person. We were taught to constantly hold some part of us back. We walk by the same guy we saw everyday on our way home and every time we walk by him we stick to the far edge of the sidewalk and we protect ourselves, as if this guy is about to attack us. Little do we know he could be walking to volunteer his time at a shelter.
Its funny to think of the things we hold ourselves back from and the things that catch us off guard. If a person waves at us or smiles or heaven forbid says hello to us, we get scared because it throws us off. We think this person is crazy, “Why are they talking to me?” I’m no better then anyone else I’m guilty of it to. A few years back I was walking downtown in my home town, a man from around the town with one leg and crutches. This man obviously didn’t have much money, as you could tell by the cloths he had, but he was happy. He stopped me on the street to say hello. I, being raised the way I was, thought that this man was about to ask for money. Really all this man wanted was to chat and meet someone new, because these experiences made this man happy. Why not be happy with that life? Why let his obvious struggles get him down? He was happy and isn’t that what its all about? He took what he had, a life and a chance and did what made him happy. That was the greatest lesson I had ever learned. We all hold back because we lack the skill to trust. I call trust a skill because only a few of us have it, and only a few of us are good at it. This man trusted blindly.
We were born trusting and curious of the things around us. The things we touched, the people we had around us weren’t a problem. We trusted them, they would lead us down a good path. We trusted with good reason. Trust is a belief that another human being will not intentionally harm us, as we will not harm them. We were raised to believe that trust must be earned. We were born to believe that unless a person is socially acceptable they are unworthy of trust because they “may” harm us. Everyone around us “may” harm us. We do not trust because we were taught to be scared. We were taught that everything around us was scary. We watch television, which is based on people screwing other people over. Any popular show is about the negative side of any human. The lessons we are taught are ridiculous, such as, people will break your heart, the people closest to you will screw you over for something better, people will climb over you to get to the top, all these “lessons” all lead to the belief that not one single person in this world is worthy of trust. Not one single person in this world is worthy of our entire selves. Not one single person on this earth will ever deserve to know our full selves. Well you know what I say, **** that.
This world needs trust. Every person you talk to you, everyone you see, even those you only hear about, they are the people that deserve your trust. Chances are they don’t want to harm you ever. Chances are you don’t want to harm another human being either. So rather then walking around scared of everyone, just trust them blindly. This way you can finally know your real you. In trusting others you can trust yourself with others. You can finally give your entirety to another. Trust everyone so then you can be comfortable around it all. Just trust this world deserves a little trust. People deserve trust. Don’t wait for a person to prove they are trustworthy, trust to see if they aren’t trustworthy. | |
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| Trust
Posted: 7/12/2007 10:39:24 PM | Very well written indeed! It never ceases to amaze me how many people will return my friendly "hello" with that horrified look that so clearly states, "How much crack did SHE smoke this morning?"
I, for one, have no intention of teaching my future children not to talk to strangers. If you never talk to strangers, how are you ever going to make friends?
-Lydia | |
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Posted: 7/12/2007 10:46:51 PM | ^
what you seem to be overlooking here is that 'trust' needs a vital fuel-line....and that fuel line has to be filled with LOVE!........Love is self-less!.
unfortunately there are those who try to gain the trust of others for ulterior purposes. | |
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Posted: 7/12/2007 11:04:44 PM | Is there supposed to be a question there? Or was that just a rant about inability to trust? Looks like this thread is close to deletion anyway.
Edit : Oh, guess not. Someone saved you. :laugh: | |
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| Trust
Posted: 7/13/2007 12:19:56 AM | OP; after all that (which I didn't read), I know that you have a big issue with trust.
I believe that you can be trusted and all you want is to be able to trust in someone else.
Continue to be true, dear OP.
You have been hurt, but the only thing you can do, is to be true to yourself. Keep on Truckin'!! Have faith in yourself and learn how to forgive, cause it will help to lift the load.
Move on. GL  | |
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| Trust
Posted: 7/13/2007 4:07:38 AM | OP - you make some interesting points and have clearly given this a lot of thought.
I have come to the conclusion thus far, that before one can trust someone else - one has to trust oneself. What is trust after all? It's belief - isn't it? I do think that one has to balance "belief' in the integrity and honesty of others with common sense. So my approach is simply that I will trust to a degree, until my experience with an individual either adds to that belief or takes away from it. That's where common sense steps in.
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Posted: 7/13/2007 4:43:46 AM | I think that trust is like currency, and I invest trust just like I would invest money.
Some people are good investments, and some people are merely money-pits. And so, those who's trust help flourish the friendships and bonds you tend to keep, and the bad investments should be just cast aside like yesterday's refuse.
At least that's my take on it.
Kajiwotore | |
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Posted: 7/13/2007 4:50:54 AM | Yes OP it was an interesting read, but far from the norm in some cases.
I, for one, have never been nervous to look people in the eye or accidently come in contact with them passing on the sidewalk. I usually say hi, and recieve a greeting of some sort in return.
If anything I am overly confident regarding the good in people and am genuinely disappointed and surprised everytime someone betrays me or lets me down.
I would keep this flaw anyday than to draw suspicion from everyone I meet.
I am known for my question " I can't believe they did that ? ". It is usually answered with "why?"
Call me blissfully unaware.....but I like it here....it's comfortable  | |
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Posted: 7/13/2007 4:52:48 AM | I must be pretty darn trusting, I say hello or smile at everyone I pass while walking down the street. I've never had anyone look at me like I was crazy they usually do the same right back. I will assume it's because I'm from a town of 4500 people or so, maybe we are just a bit more trusting then city folk I dunno..
I trust everyone unless they give me reason not to | |
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EyeDye
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Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 10 | |
| Trust
Posted: 7/13/2007 7:53:42 AM | Holy crap! After reading the first two paragraphs, its painfully obvious you have some serious trust issues and I might even go as far as saying you are paranoid..... | |
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Posted: 7/13/2007 8:29:37 AM | Trust is earned... you trust the trustable, not blindly trust.
I only trust people who have earned it. Trust is one of those things that takes time and is built. | |
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Posted: 7/13/2007 9:34:05 AM | A Men Brother! The world is a sad place for people who are to afraid to trust.
I for one prefer to automatically give people my trust until they prove that they don't deserve it. Not to say that I am a pushover. I like to think I am a good judge of character, and I am very attuned to small things like body language and voice inflection.
I just think it's better to give people the benefit of the doubt.
People tend to give you what you expect. If you think everyone is out to get you, chances are you will bring that out in others. If you expect the best, most people will treat you with respect because they don't want to let you down. There are people out there who have never had anyone to believe in them. Wanna change someones life? Take a chance on them. | |
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pbmac3
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Joined: 5/16/2007
Msg: 13 | |
| Trust
Posted: 7/13/2007 10:27:58 AM | I think that trust is relative.
In a relationship, I try to live by the mantra that in order to trust, one must be trustworthy.
In the real world, I trust people. I run into the gas station with my car window down, leave my aprtment unlocked as I run to the pool.....It might sound silly, but by doing these little things, I don't feel like I live in a prison in my own life.
With that being said, I'm a man with no children. Would I trust as much if I was a woman? no Would I trust as much in regards to the welfare of my kids? heck no
Good luck OP! And when someone gives you their trust, do everything in your power to keep it! | |
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Posted: 7/13/2007 11:23:48 AM | Well written post, OP! However, I want to address something that Lydiapurple said:
I, for one, have no intention of teaching my future children not to talk to strangers. If you never talk to strangers, how are you ever going to make friends?
While it is admirable that you want your kids to have open and curious minds, our present day society being far from Utopian and having a lot of, shall we say, undesirable elements, it is important that they learn caution too.
Until they learn what we consider "common sense", and reach an age when they are able to properly apply it, perhaps as part of the learning process, they should be taught not to talk to strangers, while learning to trust those that you as their parent, trust.
As they grow and learn, they could then be taught to be more discerning in their choices, and apply the ability to trust that you had nurtured within a select group, to "strangers".
It is regrettable that we have to use such caution, but for their safe and proper upbringing, it is necessary that we do. | |
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Posted: 7/13/2007 11:31:54 AM | | deserve my trust? when they prove to me they can be trusted. I give some trust of course...but the rest has to be earned. | |
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Posted: 8/22/2008 3:45:25 PM | Iam an old man and today I find its difficult to find someone trusting....
I bought a car from my mechanic who owns a garage some miles away.... when I saw the car it had wire hubcaps,...racy looking!!...and four new tires... I asked him aboutr the tires...." are those ten dollar tires one gets when you buy a new car ?...) he gave me a dirty look...
I had looked over the car and only saw two small stone marks on the hood.... My friend said leave the car here and we`ll go the the licence bureau to transfer the ownership... only after reaching home and went to open the boot did I notice some deep scratches on the back of the trunk...also noticed the car when driving hads square tires which it did`nt have when I test drove it...also the wire wheel caps had been removed and replaced with plastic caps.... Huummmmm makes one wonder what else he lied about or did to the car while my back was turned....
It truly cheeses me off royaly !!!!............ Iam sapose to return therre to have work done before winter sets in... Ha!!!...will goe else where !!!......  | |
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