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| Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?
Posted: 7/14/2007 10:23:13 PM | You may have heard the saying "a guy cant be just friends with a girl he is attracted to", but the same saying doesnt get said for women. Why is this?
Could it be that women just are more interested in having guys as friends than guys are in having women that are friends?
Could it be that men just arent as good and handling it when they are attracted to a woman but cant have her?
What could it be? | |
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| Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?
Posted: 7/14/2007 10:31:07 PM | | In my opinion, guys that are attracted to a woman wants more than a friend, they want the relationship. The women that I know can be very happy being attracted and being friends. I like having my female friends, they give me insights that I miss that I just can't get from most guys. | |
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| Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?
Posted: 7/14/2007 10:48:30 PM | Personally I think it is a bad idea either way.
This is going to be very unpopular with the gals but ........ oh will - no one has ever accused me of sucking up to the females.
- some guys hang around a gal hoping she will toss him a bone - or hoping she will see the light and they will be a couple (this is very destructive to the guy’s self-esteem and should never be done)
- some gals hang around a guy - knowing full well she has the YES NO vote. She can choose if it goes any farther (using the bullchit ploy of “friends”) or not. About all she would have to do is pull down her pants. Guys don’t have this option to choose if it goes farther or not.
NOTE TO GUYS .......... don’t do it - don’t hang around a gal .... unless ...........
- she is your mom
- she is your sister
- she reminds you of your mom
- the very thought of her being naked makes you very very ill
DISCLAIMER - yes I have a few female friends but - I don’t hang out with them. Once I put a gal in the “friends” heap that means I don’t want and never would want more. Once a gal puts me in the “friends” heap and I kind of like her - I distance myself from her. I have a nice looking female friend right now that I have “stalled” meeting for lunch for 4 years now - I plan to never meat up with her - email - phone fine. If we ever hung around much we WOULD end up in bed. | |
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| Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?
Posted: 7/14/2007 11:21:56 PM | If a woman calls you a friend, there could be 2 reasons for that.
1) You aren't attractive to her, just someone to have her pay for dinner and to have a shoulder to cry on when her good looking as*hole bf treats her bad. (But she will stay with him anyway, go figure)
2) You are in the bull pen, with a bunch of other guys, waiting your turn, which will most likely never happen. | |
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| Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?
Posted: 7/14/2007 11:28:24 PM | More men approach women and get turned down.
women/girls need someone to open jars for them?
A lot of men like me, it is seldom I have chemistry with them. I am upfront as soon as I realise their feelings. I don't try/or ask to keep them around as friends yet, they insist on sometimes being lifetime friends. 2 of my best guy riends have married and still are in touch. I never slept with either.
A fellow that dumped me years ago still calls and now that I am past him it doesn't bother me. He is a lot of fun and helpful. | |
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| Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?
Posted: 7/14/2007 11:30:30 PM | Sorry lads...don't consider my men friends as**** in a glass jar and I do cry on their shoulders, but offer mine as often as I use theirs.
I like men...I like the way they can have a heated discussion and an argument and it's done 2 minutes later. No hard feelings and the incident is over and done with. I like the fact most actually talk....I don't care about having involved discussions concerning nights out, shopping and my latest pair of shoes. I have one very close female friend and more close male friends. The level of intimacy in what I share is very different, but I enjoy the company of my male friends.
Sorry to burst your bubbles, but some women just generally like men....go figure. | |
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| Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?
Posted: 7/14/2007 11:37:37 PM | Ron9,
Your profile says long term why are you stalling on meeting a women you obviously like?
Ok I guess your saying you just want to keep her as a friend?
Hmmm I am having trouble making sense of what you wrote..<img sr
I have trouble hanging with a man I am attracted to as long as he is single.
If he is taken I can push my desires aside .
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| Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?
Posted: 7/14/2007 11:48:11 PM | When a girl has guy friends, that usually means that their next in line or the guy she will cheat on you with..... I've been threw that enough times. Currently I'm with a gal thats tried to remain friends with her ex.... She said just friends but slipped up and told me she still had feelings for him.... I said either him or me... So tonight she is picking up her stuff from his place.... But she has been helping him move all day lol...... Gotta love the stress she is giving me  | |
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| Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?
Posted: 7/14/2007 11:48:28 PM | I really don't blame women for wanting to be friends with guys... we're good at it. Centuries of joining together as hunting parties in various incarnations have taught us when to give space, when to respect the heirarchy, when to acknowledge accomplishment, and when to shut up when no one's listening.
Sadly, women (with rare exceptions) seem to know few or none of these, which is why their constant presence reminds us that this would be a more rewarding experience if nookie was involved. Think I'm wrong? Why is it that women can't seem to stand each other's company (with exceptions for BFFs) and prefer to hang with men?
Honestly ladies... you're terrible to each other. Catty, cutting remarks behind each other's backs. And it seems a guy in a relationship with another woman makes us twice as attractive to you. Do you think guys want that dynamic in their group? Remember, it wasn't John's bowling partner that broke up the Beatles. | |
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| Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?
Posted: 7/14/2007 11:49:57 PM | | wow, what a bunch of angry, bitter men who only see things in terms of women using men, getting what they can from them. my ex never gave me a thing, oh, OK, I got a mixer one Xmas, a vacuum cleaner another Christmas and there were two CD's, a few pieces of jewelry, which he eventually hocked . I still stayed with the schmoe for over 30 years...not every woman has to gather, garner trophys she can display to the world to prove her worth, or his undying love.... some people, some men even, have stuck it out because the vows meant something, that despite the problems, it really was for better or for worse. I'm sorry, but women can have friendships with men, because it is NEVER all about the physical, it is always about a connection (unless she is a nympho)...not many women are going to bonk anything with a impressive portfolio or a perfect six pack....but there aren't too many men who won't want to bonk someone who just walks by them with big kajungas.... you guys are all about the physical and there has to be physical attraction, I read somewhere almost 50 % of men think about sex several times a day, double the rate of women.... that is just a fact. Women, however, crave closeness, a connection has to exist, for most women to truly feel sex is wonderful. To put it bluntly, the size of her tits and ass are the deal makers for you, the size of your****and your abs are not the deal maker for the majority of women. Women love connections, friendships, caring and sharing....and that is why we usually deal with stress a whole lot better, because we have a strong support network of friends to help us get thru the roughest times....you guys are not even comfortable hugging long long time male friends, you never touch each other...oooh, how gay!!! I say loosen up guys, teach your sons it's ok to show feelings and affection with all genders.... we women learned that lesson ummmm, 200,000 years ago????? | |
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| Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?
Posted: 7/14/2007 11:57:06 PM | | Ok guys...here's the deal. If you are in the category of "friend" we are not physically attracted to you. We have found something in you that is a turn off...but not enough to discount you as a friend. The fact that you are a friend does mean, however, that should that thing that we found in you to discount you as "lover" is fixed....you can then move up the ladder to "lover". | |
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| Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?
Posted: 7/15/2007 12:00:11 AM | "you're terrible to each other.... remember, it wasn't John's bowling partner that broke up the Beatles..."
we are terrible to eachother? Oh come off of it!!!! I have never yet been in a group of men who can only interact with the other guys by constantly ranking on them, sure, it all seems like fun and games, but underneath there is some annoying need to cut each other down to size so one of you doesn't feel all that great. And come to think of it, it really is all fun and games, you aren't going to state your feelings, state an emotion, you laugh these things off, you pretend not to be affected, because god forbid someone thinks you are gay.... really, I have seen this scenario time and time again. I remember a bunch of us going to the movies, forget the movie, it wasn't a "chick flick" per se...maybe it was Schindler's List or Saving Private Ryan....and one of the guys broke down and cried....and oh my god, the ranking and mockery he endured for the next two months from his good buddies!!!! Sorry, you aren't little angels in the friendship olympics.... you aren't good at it, you just ignore and never discuss anything that smacks of real feelings. | |
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| Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?
Posted: 7/15/2007 12:19:35 AM | I have guy friends that I wouldn't think of sleeping with in a million years, nor they with me. We're friends.
If you're talking about a woman you've dated or are romantically interested in and she is saying she wants to be friends, that's different.
I don't do it anymore but when I was young & didn't know any better, that meant I was not interested in you and often the reason was we were not compatible in bed. But not always, I maybe didn't like the way he laughed or he was fidgety or something other petty little thing that he couldn't change.
If you are in a situation like this, whatever her reason, you will save face best by gracefully declining her invitation to friendship. learning whatever lesson there is and moving on. | |
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| Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?
Posted: 7/15/2007 12:37:36 AM | valeeshka ......
“Your profile says long term why are you stalling on meeting a women you obviously like?”
Because she put me in the “friends” pile right off the bat. She told me EVERYTHING about herself and her single’s life. I normally stop talking to a gal that puts me in the friends heap but - she is a good gal and 4 year later - I really am not interested in anything more. But - I sure as heck don’t want to end up in bed with her. | |
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| Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?
Posted: 7/15/2007 12:44:12 AM | A woman automatically knows if you're true friends, whether you're dating or not.
If anyone asks for friendship, be sure it's because she knows that you two will never be friends.
It's the same as saying: I'm just not interested in you right now, but could I call you later?
Ok guys...here's the deal. If you are in the category of "friend" we are not physically attracted to you. We have found something in you that is a turn off...but not enough to discount you as a friend. The fact that you are a friend does mean, however, that should that thing that we found in you to discount you as "lover" is fixed....you can then move up the ladder to "lover". Very, very dangerous. OK as long as YOU are not in the "friends" category. But once we have put you in the "friends" category, we will do one of 2 things:
1) Date all your similar-looking and better-looking friends, but when you ask us out, we will tell you we just aren't attracted to you. Very cutting.
2) Date all your similar-looking and better-looking friends, but when you ask us out, we will go out, sleep with you, then continue dating all your friends. When you ask why we finished with you, we'll say we just aren't that into you. Much, much more cutting. | |
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| Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?
Posted: 7/15/2007 1:59:49 AM | I like most of the responses. Not sure we answered the OP though. Its so true about some women, usually younger, saying "lets be friends" to a guy after dating a little. No biggie. Some women have true healthy male friends. I have a couple female freinds that I wouldn't consider sex with and a couple female freinds I would consider. Also, I have read on this site and heard often in life about "women who don't get along with other women", who say they are catty to each other. I hope this isn't the majority, or maybe they are "joking" or dont understand how many female friends they really have if they thought about it. I HAVE NEVER HEARD OF A MAN SAY "I DON'T LIKE GUY FREINDS". Thats what a couple folks are referring to.
On a related topic, I just dumped my GF of 26 1/2 months today because, surprise surprise, she was hanging out with her ex-boyfriend "just watching TV", the guy who cheated on her, and was in therapy a year ago to "get over her". Hmmm, was this a more common get together than I was privy too? No, I dont have any facts or evidence they were PHYSICALLY intimate. But I would like to think one or both of them would have realized that there was some underlying emotions. And well we had a good 26 months and as nice and organized and desirable as she was, I just couldn't help but think she hasn't been completely open and honest (she lied about smoking the first week we met...not a big deal, but).
I dont think men and women "freinds" in another committed relationship should be hanging out "alone". Especially if you value your romantic partner. | |
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| Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?
Posted: 7/15/2007 2:06:33 AM | You may have heard the saying "a guy cant be just friends with a girl he is attracted to", but the same saying doesnt get said for women. Why is this?
Could it be that women just are more interested in having guys as friends than guys are in having women that are friends?
Could it be that men just arent as good and handling it when they are attracted to a woman but cant have her?
What could it be?
It might not be said, but it goes both ways. If a woman is significantly attracted to you, just being friends is going to be hard for her. She'll either come out and say it eventually, or hide it and hope someone else comes along if she feels she doesn't have a chance or is of the traditional mindset that she should never initiate.
For me, maintaining friendships with women hasn't been that big of a deal. I've only met three women who I've felt any sort of romantic connection or sexual desire for. Most women I meet could never be anything more than my friend, so the whole concept of not being able to be friends with them is kind of odd to me. Just because the connection is absent doesn't mean I won't value them as a friend, or no one would have any friends...male or female. | |
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| Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?
Posted: 7/15/2007 2:36:25 AM |
"a guy cant be just friends with a girl he is attracted to", but the same saying doesnt get said for women.
I totally disagree.
I have a lot of attractive women friends that I'm quite happy just being good friends with. I get tired of these generalised statements where everyone is painted with the same brush. | |
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| Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?
Posted: 7/15/2007 4:15:50 AM | My guy friends are guy friends.....thats it...they aren't**** in a jar...I don't get them to pay for things...lmao
I for the most part have not looked at any of my guy friends sexually. They are just people I've met that I share a common interest with, common sense of humour and we get along. End of story, for what ever reason its never gone beyond that. And I'm 99% positive that they haven't seen me as someone they've wanted more from...maybe as a girl who can introduce them to other women....which is fine because I really think they are great people who would treat a gf really well. | |
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| Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?
Posted: 7/15/2007 5:35:41 AM | | men and women cant be just friends and be left alone together because the opportunity for sex is too high for one of them not to try having a go at the other person in hopes of filling some immediate emotional void they are/think they are having. its too convenient for him/her not to take a running leap at filling that void. it doesnt matter what the relationship status is. thats the truth. women are friends with men because it lets us know that on some level the opposite sex finds us attractive. it purely self-serving and its true. we like the idea that the man will try to start something with us. i mean come on people...anyone saying this isnt true is in denial. this doesnt mean we'll go out with the male friend, but its nice to know he thinks she is attractive enough to hang out with and try out his moves on her..its flattering. i mean my god, why else would you hang out with the opposite sex. this hang out thing is just another form of the mating dance..but muuuuuch slower in pace. | |
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| Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?
Posted: 7/15/2007 5:39:49 AM | | Most of my friends are guys, and they aren't booty call prospects, nor are they on the sidelines 'just in case'. Not too many women that I've met are into fishing like I am, or camping at some remote spot really roughing it...or tearing apart a house and working to rebuild it... Sure, once in a while a friend has decided he wanted more from me, but I'm dead honest and let them know that's not a possibility.. after that? It's their choice.. For the mostpart, they've remained great friends and have been for years. I think the only people that have such a hard time with this concept are those that DO want a friendship with a sexual bent, and aren't getting what they want. | |
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| Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?
Posted: 7/15/2007 5:52:09 AM | There are parts and portions of me that I only reveal to friends. It seems that once there is sexual tension these portions get overshadowed.
I guess the ideal relationship for me would be where I was able to reveal the friendship part along with the sexual tension. Just havent found it yet!
That's why it is so important for me to start off as friends first, with a little flirting here and there to see if there is a hidden spark. | |
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