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 Mary12465
Joined: 1/5/2007
Msg: 1
When does dating become a relationship?Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
The purpose, I believe, of dating sites are for like minded people to meet and start dating. Now, based on that premise, when does dating become a serious relationship? I am curious to hear from both men and women on this topic, because I think there are clearly differing opinions on when dating constitutes monogamy. How does a person KNOW that things have moved to the next level. Are there a specific number of dates that two people engage in that prefaces being considered an exclusive couple? Do we communicate the changes from dating to something more serious or is it just assumed?
 rendezvous_exotique
Joined: 7/3/2007
Msg: 2
When does dating become a relationship?
Posted: 7/15/2007 4:28:44 PM
mary,mary ,mary,life is not that simple.
i am a fan of speed dating and i love the company of ladies,nothing sexual at all.
it doesnt matter if a man meets a lady a 1000 times it doesnt mean that it will ever take a sexual dimension.
in other words,men and ladies can be friends
you mention assumptions,but assumptions can often be false.
if you havent got the ring on the finger sweetheart,keep on dating

thanks
john
 Mary12465
Joined: 1/5/2007
Msg: 3
When does dating become a relationship?
Posted: 7/15/2007 4:34:01 PM
John,

I fully agree. Life is not simple..nor is the act of dating with the hope of finding a sustaining relationship. The thing is, when does DATING become something more..something significant? Does it differ, the idea of a relationship, because of one's gender?


I had one dating experience that from the onset he needed to know what I wanted. Honestly, I didn't know what I wanted, but I did know I enjoyed his company. I believed I made my needs and wants clear, but apparently I did not, because his idea of dating..aka having a relationship didn't mirror my own.

Thanks for the feedback.


And according to the majority, this SSM shouldn't even be dating..( yes, I'm being wickedly sarcastic...and SSM means Single Separated Mother)
 QTpye16
Joined: 6/29/2007
Msg: 4
When does dating become a relationship?
Posted: 7/15/2007 4:35:25 PM
Communicate. What I usually do is if I'm into someone is let them know how I feel and ask how they feel. If we're on the same page, we both discuss and agree that we want to be exclusive. However, I have had one relationship where we "just knew" and it was automatic (don't know if that's the correct word for it, lol).

But I will say NEVER assume anything, when in doubt, always ask.
 blondblueyed
Joined: 8/23/2005
Msg: 5
When does dating become a relationship?
Posted: 7/15/2007 4:37:59 PM
In my opinion when it becomes a clear understanding that both of you are exclusive and sharing much more than just an occasional night out or sleep over. As to what constitutes clear understanding some people feel it has to be the precise words of "we will only sleep with each other" or "I want us to be exclusive". Other clues would be terminology, if you refer to each other as "my boyfriend/girlfriend", meeting family, friends, co-workers and there is an on going everyday or almost everyday interaction with each other I would say it is the sign of a "couple". Others feel the only guarantee is verbal promises, rings or even a proposal.
 CaughtUPeekin
Joined: 4/15/2007
Msg: 6
When does dating become a relationship?
Posted: 7/15/2007 4:50:31 PM
When you stop hearing him say "yeah, i gotta go" at 2 a.m., then it's a relationship.



 kainhunter
Joined: 4/5/2007
Msg: 7
When does dating become a relationship?
Posted: 7/15/2007 6:09:40 PM
For me it becomes something more than dating when you both decide you aren't going to see anyone else. Some people need to hear it stated. I am one of those kind of people. Until I am certain that the other person is not seeing anyone else, I continue to look around.
 stoney1
Joined: 4/29/2007
Msg: 8
When does dating become a relationship?
Posted: 7/15/2007 6:12:12 PM
There is one sure fire way to tell......

She leaves a tooth brush at your place. lol

You're taken then.
 []mephistopheles[]
Joined: 6/23/2007
Msg: 9
When does dating become a relationship?
Posted: 7/15/2007 6:12:19 PM
The answer: After the first trimester.
 Reenie999
Joined: 11/7/2005
Msg: 10
When does dating become a relationship?
Posted: 7/15/2007 6:14:17 PM
Dating becomes a relationship when the two people decide to see each other exclusively.
Before that there would be no reason for me to limit myself to one guy while he's out dating others.
 atym4joy
Joined: 7/9/2007
Msg: 11
When does dating become a relationship?
Posted: 7/15/2007 6:22:29 PM
To me….a relationship is when two people agree that they will remain monogamous with plans for the future. Other than that…..its just relations. Nes Pas?
 Petruzzi
Joined: 10/8/2006
Msg: 12
When does dating become a relationship?
Posted: 7/15/2007 6:30:24 PM
I say the best way to find out is to talk about it. Talking has to be the clearest and easiest way of finding this out. After all if you cant even talk about it with them who is to say either of you is ready for a relationship, right?
 Countrylovingirl41
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 13
When does dating become a relationship?
Posted: 7/15/2007 9:13:50 PM
It may also be very helpful to know what constitutes a"dating" relationship .
Is casual "time killing", "hanging out", "dropping by for dinner and sex" considered dating...............hmmm.....? How do his friends and family communicate with you. Like his girlfriend or his acquaintance?

Even maintaining a friendship requires communication. Any kind of relationship we participate in we help to create. If we don't communicate our needs.........we will get lost in someone else's idea of where the line is between casual dating w/no obligations or commitments and a sexually monogamous partner kind of relationship.

Although, sometimes we try to avoid knowing someone else's truth it is critical to know your own. If you're happy......leave it alone. If you're not......communicate what you need at this point with confidence that your needs are just as important as his. It's true right? Maybe he is afraid to communicate his needs to you so the subject is avoided completely. Communication is the only path to the truth. Whatever it may be.
 Mary12465
Joined: 1/5/2007
Msg: 14
When does dating become a relationship?
Posted: 7/16/2007 3:25:36 AM
>


Well, see, that is also another valid point that has crossed my mind in the pursuit of dating and hoping for a lasting relationship. What do men and women define as "DATING".....because it seems to me that even with the vast array of choices we have on this site, there is no clear definition of what folks are looking for, and for that matter, many say they are looking for "DATING" and that isn't exactly the entire truth.

I agree that friendship is a relationship that involves two people...so...we are here on POF, chatting...making friends...and someone says let's go on 'date', and you meet. For the sake of arguement that goes well...so both parties go on another 'date', my thought is...how many 'dates' do women or men view as 'dates' that would than establish their 'friendship' as more than friends.


I don't mean to sound like I'm 12 yrs old, but I think that the mere definition of dating is so convaluted, how does one even know if they are really dating or in a real relationship that makes said couple exclusive in the first place? I'm not suggesting that dating will lead to a LTR, but I query you all with this?


Have you ever found yourself dating someone, and then the other party finds out that you are 'dating' someone else and they are fuming mad?! My thinking is, if you are only dating, why does it matter if you date others? But, again, what or how people define dating makes things far more complicated because for me, at least, there is NO real definition as to what dating means today.

And again....when DOES dating become more than just DATING? Is our ability or lack of the ability to communicate our feelings the bigger problem? The thing is, when I dated prior to marriage everything seemed pretty simple, but today, people don't even say let's go on a date ( least it's been my experience) it's more..wanna hang out, hook-up or just meet to chat.

It's almost like all non-commital terms, because if you say date, it's almost like there is some HUGE restriction placed on you to see others. Okay, I'm rambling...but I'd like to believe that I'm not the only person who feels this way.
 Bbbashful
Joined: 10/8/2006
Msg: 15
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When does dating become a relationship?
Posted: 7/16/2007 5:42:07 AM

Do we communicate the changes from dating to something more serious or is it just assumed?


ASSUMPTIONS are often what gets us into a lot of trouble.

Dating changes to an exclusive relationship when two people discuss this topic and BOTH of them agree to this new arrangement. Clear communication is the key to a good relationship with NO assumptions.
 MsHunny
Joined: 1/9/2007
Msg: 16
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When does dating become a relationship?
Posted: 7/16/2007 12:27:01 PM
I think that dating becomes a relationship when both people sit down and agree upon it. Never assume and never let the number of dates constitute when the 'relationship' status begins. That makes me think of the whole thing about getting a guy's/girl's number and not calling them for a week or so just not to look desperate. The best thing I think is to simply lay it out on the table...if you want more than just the dating then you should express that and see if they have the same thing in mind.


~MsHunny
 BlueeyedBabe
Joined: 11/3/2005
Msg: 17
When does dating become a relationship?
Posted: 7/16/2007 12:33:57 PM
Oh my op"

You are living in black and white?


Should
Could
Would Have
Always
Never


All bad words in my book.
Stop swearing at me...and get to the heart of the matter

what are you seeking, love?
 Only hurts when I laugh
Joined: 6/14/2007
Msg: 18
When does dating become a relationship?
Posted: 7/16/2007 1:04:09 PM
When a guys bathroom starts having more than 2 hair products in it and when she starts leaving clothes in your dresser.
 cherpur
Joined: 6/2/2007
Msg: 19
When does dating become a relationship?
Posted: 7/16/2007 1:14:33 PM
Hmmmm...when I get the ring AND put it on my finger...just kidding
 tmotts
Joined: 11/7/2006
Msg: 20
When does dating become a relationship?
Posted: 7/16/2007 1:15:42 PM
When you both decide you are going to be exclusive with one another. It has to be something I believe that is discussed and agreed upon.
 Arugula
Joined: 11/5/2006
Msg: 21
When does dating become a relationship?
Posted: 7/16/2007 1:17:00 PM
One thing that is a real turn off for me is if the guy starts asking questions about "where are we" or "what are we" or "are we a couple now" in the beginning when I'm really starting to enjoy him. I feel as if he's putting me on the spot. I have no problem letting someone know I'm only seeing them, and I let them know that as more of a philosophical discussion very early on. It also helps me find out if they're on the same page.

I don't intend to "date" multiple men, multiple times. I usually know after the 1st meet, and definitely after the 2nd, if we're going to connect on several levels. If we're not, I don't see them again. Why waste my time and theirs just to fill my dating calendar? I also have no intention of dating someone multiple times who is dating other women multiple times. To me, that means we're not on the same page, and that they're not truly focusing on getting to know any one person at a deeper level.
 MikeTheWriter
Joined: 2/27/2006
Msg: 22
When does dating become a relationship?
Posted: 7/16/2007 1:18:04 PM
When the rabbit dies.
 bitch_user1980
Joined: 11/10/2006
Msg: 23
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When does dating become a relationship?
Posted: 7/16/2007 1:43:11 PM
i know what you are getting at...todays dating is way different then dating 8 years ago....people are always looking for some one better....they never know what they have until is gone....since i got my divorce...things have changed so much in the dating world....every one wants to commit...but they also like to look for somethig better so to speak....when i date a guy i like him to know that he will he the only one that i am seeing....to me that takes off alot of presure...you can't compaire him to the other guy your dating at the same time...it allows the man to feel more relaxed....then you get to see what his true colors really are....i have also learned that dating can mean going for coffee or just sitting around talking to the one that you like...things now a days are not all cut out like they use to be.....when i was in high school...dating some one ment that you were a couple.....now dating to most is like an open feild.....every one welcome....but you must talk before you get into anything now a days....that is the best way to set things in motion...
 ~squirrly~
Joined: 7/4/2006
Msg: 24
When does dating become a relationship?
Posted: 7/16/2007 1:45:14 PM
actually the rabbit always died if you used that old test because they had to dissect it to find out what effect the urine had. *shivers* Thank god we have new tests for that! LOL Anyway even if you fell preggars theres nothing to say you are in a relationship. Gawd how many men have flown the coop when they heard a woman was pregnant?

The only way to know is COMMUNICATION. You say the "L" word and you tell each other you are exclusive. How difficult is that?
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 25
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When does dating become a relationship?
Posted: 7/16/2007 2:08:24 PM

When does dating become a relationship?

When both parties want it to become a relationship. This is determined by a number of factors including both spoken and unspoken communication, reading between the lines, body language, and even unfounded blind hope sometimes.

From what I've experienced in the geographic and demographic areas I inhabit, the minute you are seen in public with a member of the opposite sex that's roughly your age range,and not CLEARLY a close blood relative( parent,child or sbling) you are in a relationship. I've had clerks and other service people, at one time or another, assume that my handyman, my cousin, or a platonic male buddy is my husband.

Seriously, it's a matter of communication and can't be defined in a set of "rules" or black and white examples. And trust me, you WILL run into situations where both you and the person you are involved with will NOT be on the same page about whether or not it's a "relationship". If you want,or expect, clearcut rules and concrete benchmarks, you are setting yourself up for a rough way to go. I'm not saying to buy into whatever BS any guy out there might hand you, but as a rule determining when dating has become a relationship varies with the individual situation. It's not really quantifiable. If you want to know, ask the guy you are dating. If he's really NOT interested in a relationship, most likely that question will send him out the door...
Cindy O
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