| Colostomy bag and making out - Question
Posted: 7/17/2007 5:30:37 PM | On Saturday I met the greatest guy. We didn't meet thru here, I actually answered an ad Friday night on Craig's list, the man was looking for someone who enjoyed playing Scrabble. We had one phone conversation and I went to his place to play Scrabble - not expecting anything at all.
Well it turns out he's perfect for me, he's a few years older than I normally date but not that much out of my age range. We had a very nice day together and he was a perfect gentleman. He told me right off that he was a colon cancer survivor and he's had a colonostomy. (for those not sure what that is, it means his colon was removed and his bodily wastes are now emptied into a bag that he wears on the side of his body).
He and I get along very well and have already had two dates, both times he was a gentleman, the only kiss he gave me was a goodnight kiss.
He's invited me to come spend the entire day with him on Saturday and I'm sure as much as we get along we might end up doing more than playing Scrabble. But I'm very nervous about the fact that he wears a colostomy bag.
Does anyone here have any experience with handling that? Will the bag slip off if we're making out and groping each other? if I go down on him, is it going to be in the way and an obvious distraction?
This guy is totally perfect for me and I know this is a small thing to be bothered about. I just want some tips on how to handle the situation so I can relax and be more comfortable with him.
Thanks. | |
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| Colostomy bag and making out - Question
Posted: 7/17/2007 7:28:01 PM | | Just maybe taking it easy and not rushing into something, and giving him time to explain to you what it is like may solve the problem. How about letting him lead in this case. | |
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| Colostomy bag and making out - Question
Posted: 7/17/2007 7:34:42 PM | A friend of mine dated a guy in that situation. No, it doesn't fall out. There can be a bit of an odor if he's not scrupulous about how often it's emptied. She is no longer dating him, but it was because of factors other than that. She did say it took a bit of getting used to. I don't think there'll be any swinging from the chandeliers, though. 
I will ask her and email you privately. | |
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| Colostomy bag and making out - Question
Posted: 7/17/2007 8:03:54 PM | As a nurse I have dealt with people with colostomies in the past. Most often they have a cap for the ostomy that can be put in place instead of the bag. Some even wear the caps more often then they do the bags because they have regulated their systems and know when their bodily waste will need to be eliminated.
Have fun !!! There is life after colotomies from what I have been told | |
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| Colostomy bag and making out - Question
Posted: 7/17/2007 8:07:06 PM | Since he was open enough to tell you about it, I am sure he will be open enough to answer any questions you might have about it, as well.
I dated someone with one as well...though we never got intimate in that manner....
My ex brother in law also had one and the poster who said they need to be immaculate about emptying and cleaning them is so correct! If they are not, you typically notice this immediately...the smell is horrible. | |
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| Colostomy bag and making out - Question
Posted: 7/19/2007 12:29:55 AM | People with ostomies would tend to be more careful than people with a working bum about being clean and there will be no odor. They are pretty easy to keep clean and free of odor, even easier than a bum. There are smaller, "sport" bags that can be used and he will know about these.
Any gentleman that would attract your attention I am sure will be more nervous than you about it and will do his best to make both of your experience grand. | |
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B.Ann
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Joined: 5/23/2006
Msg: 9 | |
| Colostomy bag and making out - Question
Posted: 7/21/2007 2:50:46 AM | My ex had one and i didn,t find it a problem.He was veryparticular about it and there was no odour from it.Oral sex was no problem,it wasn,t as far down as his crutch actually.
I loved him so it didn,t matter to me , then later he had the colostomy bag removed and his bowel reattached,and then he dumped me!
Apparently,he was only seeing me because he knew i,d look after him through the three major ops he had to have.I.d taken him back after he,d cheated on me,because he said he was sorry and wanted to make amends. | |
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| Colostomy bag and making out - Question
Posted: 7/21/2007 3:00:12 AM | As an RN I can tell you it will not slip off or come loose easily.
Most of the time they can be equated to the top of a tupperware bowl. You have to remove the air slowly and then pull off the cap. The applications they have now are much less hassle than the days of old. I would relax and not focus on it. It is probably very difficult for anyone in an intimate situation to discuss in great detail. Good luck to you. | |
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| Colostomy bag and making out - Question
Posted: 7/21/2007 3:07:13 AM |
relax and be more comfortable with him.
You already stated your solution.
The best person to answer your questions is him. I have a friend who had a colostomy years ago and it certainly has not presented any barriers with her husband in the physical intimacy department. So relax and enjoy the man's company. It is ok to ask him your questions.
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| Colostomy bag and making out - Question
Posted: 7/21/2007 11:06:11 AM | have a elderly friend..his idea of funny is when a gas bubble expands his bag he tells the lady he has a hardon..lol
ofcourse he's 85..
Dusty | |
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| Colostomy bag and making out - Question
Posted: 7/29/2007 7:15:16 PM | | Well I've taken the "plunge" so to speak and the colostomy has not been much of an issue at all. I have to be careful not to get it pinned between us as it pulls on him and the plastic irritates my skin. But he's great about being sure its clean and empty before we get intimate. I'm feeling very much like a lucky woman! | |
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| Colostomy bag and making out - Question
Posted: 9/14/2007 11:37:33 AM | | If your sex is rough/careless enough the bag may get in the way, or spill. Otherwise, it shouldn't be a problem. The big impediment is in your mind. Can you accept the bag enough to ignore it? If so, rave on. If not, pass him by. | |
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| Colostomy bag and making out - Question
Posted: 9/17/2007 2:06:15 PM | | I once live with a woman that had one. We never had a problem with sex. It does not get in the way, but of course you can't be real rough either. It did not bother me her having one on. It also does not hinder you in just about any positions you use. | |
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| Colostomy bag and making out - Question
Posted: 9/17/2007 3:37:55 PM |
Does anyone here have any experience with handling that? Will the bag slip off if we're making out and groping each other? if I go down on him, is it going to be in the way and an obvious distraction?
This guy is totally perfect for me and I know this is a small thing to be bothered about. I just want some tips on how to handle the situation so I can relax and be more comfortable with him
I guess anal sex is out of the question | |
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| Colostomy bag and making out - Question
Posted: 9/17/2007 4:04:02 PM | | This is in response to post number #18...that was a in really poor taste. I can understand sometimes people trying to make jokes out of situations that they are un-comfortable with but I have found that usually stops sometime after they graduate from high school. What would people think if you had a breast cancer and a remark was made about you getting half price off a bikinii top because you would only need half of it ? As I tell my children, if you cannot say something nice, don't say anything at all. The OP was asking a sensitive question and I would expect since this is a adult topic , sensitive answers. Oh just my humble .2 cents worth of course. P.S. funny what some people consider " in poor taste" in regaurds to forum topics. This is one of the better ones I have read lately. Like anyone of us needs to hear anymore about unfaithful spouses or people who do not know they have addiction issues but everyone else around them do. | |
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| Colostomy bag and making out - Question
Posted: 9/17/2007 4:23:39 PM | | No I have never dated anyone with the problem, but my grandmother did have an illiostomy. She said she had to be careful of what she ate and when to bathe. You have to keep a schedule so that things can be expected. | |
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| Colostomy bag and making out - Question
Posted: 9/18/2007 8:38:41 PM |
This is in response to post number #18...that was a in really poor taste. I can understand sometimes people trying to make jokes out of situations that they are un-comfortable with but I have found that usually stops sometime after they graduate from high school.
Not true.... humour is a life long gift. Similar to those who are always serious and uptight... way past high school.
Oh well.... so much for my joke..... I was going to suggest he microwave the bag for a minute and then tell her she is in for some hot shit tonight!!!
But that would be juvenile, so I won't say that. | |
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| Colostomy bag and making out - Question
Posted: 9/19/2007 3:38:44 AM |
Not true.... humour is a life long gift. Similar to those who are always serious and uptight... way past high school.
Oh well.... so much for my joke..... I was going to suggest he microwave the bag for a minute and then tell her she is in for some hot shit tonight!!!
But that would be juvenile, so I won't say that.
thanks...if you read the OP's profile, including her occupation, you will see what an awesome sense of humor she has! I figure if she can make references to "oral" in her question, I could make references to "backdoor" in my response.
Everyone is entitled to their own sense of humor, but lack of it can be a reason why a person is alone
The OP is one special gal & her man is truly LUCKY to have her in his life!
luv ya MY I | |
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| Colostomy bag and making out - Question
Posted: 9/19/2007 6:47:03 AM | You've gotten some good advice from people who know a lot more than me and it sounds like you and your man are figuring it out just fine.
So... just wanted to say, You are AWESOME! Sounds like you are both really great people. | |
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| Colostomy bag and making out - Question
Posted: 12/30/2007 1:11:44 AM | My Dad survived prostate cancer, and he wears a colostomy bag because he never regained control of his urinary tract. You might not want to go down on him, because he wears the bag because he has no control over his urine.
You just have to be a little more careful than you would with someone who didn't wear a bag. | |
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