| Can a younger woman date an older man?
Posted: 7/19/2007 12:28:00 PM | | What do you think about a younger woman dating an older man...we are talking about a 25 yr gap? What if you are beyond compatible, share common interests, passions, humor, personality? And what if this guy is head over heals for you but is beyond scared to pursue you...do i pursue or not...give up or not... I' m just scared that am wasting my time on a man who will never give me a legitimate chance, my friends say to enjoy it while it lasts, but when i fall i fall hard. | |
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| Can a younger woman date an older man?
Posted: 7/19/2007 12:36:08 PM | | I do not think an age gap of 25 years would in your case be fatal. But I would say that if you want the guy, you will have to pursue him. He might fear not only rejection -- but a certain degree of social stigma. These might go away if you do the pursuing. I am 38 and know that I would find it difficult to approach a woman who is more than ten years younger. | |
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| Can a younger woman date an older man?
Posted: 7/19/2007 12:52:40 PM | | The biggest difference I have had is 22 years. I really do prefer a woman a closer because we will have a closer wave length. All I can tell you is to have the time of your life because there is a good chance that it will be just that. Keep in mind that if he is "really good" you will be dissapointed with boys/men later that are in your age range. Don't fall in love. | |
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| Can a younger woman date an older man?
Posted: 7/19/2007 1:00:41 PM | | Too late for that...no matter what i think we both have brought the bar and standards higher now....its ok for me to raise my standards ( i am young) but i am worried about him doing that, hard enough for him to find someone who respects him...he never thought things would turn out to be so good....somehow i feel guilty and think i should do him the favor of stopping this...for him because he is not sure (i want him) | |
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| Can a younger woman date an older man?
Posted: 7/19/2007 1:02:07 PM | the only problem with wide age gaps is that there are developmental stages that we usually go through in the life process. most often, it is best if we can go through those stages with someone who is sharing that same journey with us.
but everyone is different, so this is just a guideline, not an immutable law of nature. | |
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| Can a younger woman date an older man?
Posted: 7/19/2007 1:04:30 PM | | He blames the fact we cant be together on the fact that am younger, but if that was true would he take me out locally, where friends and people can obviously see we are seeing each other. I believe it has more to do with the fact that he thinks i will get bored of him and find someone younger and more youthful...truth is, he is everything i want in a man...why would i look elsewhere? How do i convince him i am for real? | |
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| Can a younger woman date an older man?
Posted: 7/19/2007 1:45:55 PM | | Nothing special, i just love his company, if you still dont believe me i have paid for gas and drinks at the bar, and i am a student with little money, his assets are good but not enough to say thats why i am interested! | |
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| Can a younger woman date an older man?
Posted: 7/19/2007 2:06:30 PM |
my friends say to enjoy it while it lasts, but when i fall i fall hard.
Kinda what I was thinking. Eyes wide open, never take your hands off the wheel.
Keep in mind that if he is "really good" you will be dissapointed with boys/men later that are in your age range.
Positively true. I speak from experience. Men your age will NOT be the same. I won't elaborate but I am sure you get what I mean.
He blames the fact we cant be together on the fact that am younger, but if that was true would he take me out locally, where friends and people can obviously see we are seeing each other
If he takes you out locally, it is obvious that he isn't married. I could be wrong.
Perhaps his insecurities lie on how society perceives you as a couple.
Nothing special, i just love his company, if you still dont believe me i have paid for gas and drinks at the bar, and i am a student with little money, his assets are good but not enough to say thats why i am interested!
You shouldn't be paying for anything. A man of this age should be more than capable of taking care of dating expenses. Sorry, but you are a student and he should respect the fact that you have a limited amount of resources.
In essence, yes, a younger woman can date an older man.
In many cultures this is the norm. I would approach this carefully, but it can be done. Personally, I would ask him questions- and see if this is standard practice with him and how long his relationships last on an average. But that's just my opinion. | |
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| Can a younger woman date an older man?
Posted: 7/19/2007 2:09:07 PM |
if you still dont believe me i have paid for gas and drinks at the bar
Receipts. I need to see receipts. 
I really was just curious about that question.
He doesn't drive a horse and buggy, does he? | |
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| Can a younger woman date an older man?
Posted: 7/19/2007 2:14:19 PM | What do you think about a younger woman dating an older man...we are talking about a 25 yr gap
Each case is completely different - today's social stigma's and taboos are lessening - hopefully it's a more accepting and socially aware community that we've evolved in. This is fodder for the odd conversations at work all the time and the women seem to always poopoo it. However, if the individuals are accepting of each other and have an understanding of each other, who am I to judge them. You're going to get a lot of stuff thrown at you here as to why you should or shouldn't - there simply is no right answer, you only answer to yourself and your partner.
What if you are beyond compatible, share common interests, passions, humor, personality?
but these items are supposed to be the foundation of the relationship, no? if you're beyond those, what else is there to share and build on? I think this point is applicable to any relationship regardless of age gap.
And what if this guy is head over heals for you but is beyond scared to pursue you..
what is he scared of? why should he be scared? rejection? we face this daily, and if he's going through life afraid of rejection, he's not experiencing the totality of all experiences and emotions. You pursue because you want to, you go for what you want, not for the benefit of what others think.
...give up or not...
don't put yourself behind the 8 ball to start with
I' m just scared that am wasting my time on a man who will never give me a legitimate chance
If something makes you happy, for whatever length of time - it's not time wasted, it never is. However, this legitimate chance you speak of is somewhat of concern - you best both be on the same page!
my friends say to enjoy it while it lasts
seems like reasonable advice, but when it's gone, you have the fond memories.
but when i fall i fall hard
your own emotions are always in your control - never forget that.
ve it has more to do with the fact that he thinks i will get bored of him and find someone younger and more youthful...truth is, he is everything i want in a man...why would i look elsewhere? How do i convince him i am for real?
that's a good point, insecurity of the abandonment, nothing new there - the question is, you're telling us all this here, does HE know? do you give him reason to doubt you? if you don't, then he has to deal with his insecurities, and you will too. How do you convince him - your actions will speak louder, if he's perceptive at all, he'll clue in, if he's not, then best turn to dialogue - it's the only way! | |
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Onegin
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Joined: 6/15/2007
Msg: 12 | |
| Can a younger woman date an older man?
Posted: 7/19/2007 3:00:11 PM | In these types of relationships it seems to be the older person who ends it. They often cannot convince themselves that it will last. And at an older age they are in a position where they do not want to waste time on a relationship that they feel is doomed. The younger person does not have those worries.
I am sure it would be annoying to have people think your gf is your daughter. Worrying that your friends are thinking you are going though a midlife crisis is annoying too. Any time I even look at a woman in her 20 s my assistant at work snapps "she's too young for you!" | |
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| Can a younger woman date an older man?
Posted: 7/19/2007 3:06:50 PM | Lets suppose that it did work out.....
when you are married or committed with someone who is 25 years older... it is gonna be a BIG deal eventually. Are you prepared for when you are 40 and he is 65? You are still relatively young, active, doing things... he may be out of breath walking across the room.
I think its not a good idea... generally, I would recommend 10 yrs or less. But of course, its up to you. :) | |
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| Can a younger woman date an older man?
Posted: 7/19/2007 3:50:42 PM | WEll if your going to be in love then you might as well be happy about it then. Just be glad to see him.
There is a lot of social pressure.
I don't care what anyone here says because I have lived it. There is no real difference between a 25 year old woman and a 45 year old woman. They are actually ageless. Both are easy to communicate with, both are mature enough in most cases. Both have dreams and both have desires. A 45 year old woman can have experiences that she didn't handle in the best way and is less servicable as a mate than a 25 year old. A 25 year old would might not have the soft patience or skill to handle a mature male. | |
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| Can a younger woman date an older man?
Posted: 7/19/2007 4:49:52 PM | | I say go for it . Life is too short . Do not worry about the future and what may be because of age difference. Heck most relationships end anyway , when people are around the same age . | |
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| Can a younger woman date an older man?
Posted: 7/19/2007 5:07:06 PM | I'm kinda confused!!
You're asking about a guy 25 years older than you are but you have 25-35 on your profile.
I see that and it makes me think you're really not interested in someone that much older than you are.
Most of the time you're gonna find out that an older guy will treat you with more respect than a younger one. Thats not a given though men are still gonna be men.
You may be infatuated with where he is in life and what he has. Maybe his job or what he has as far as material things.
You are very young now and if you say you fall hard you need to be careful of the feelings you have. | |
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| Can a younger woman date an older man?
Posted: 7/19/2007 5:19:26 PM | I say older is for you....go for it.....
It really doesn't sound like you like living young. I am the oposite of you. I really don't know what life is going to bring me but in the mean time I am just jetskiing in the summer, skiing down the mountain at 50mph in the winter and, in the Fall hitting crazy Haloween partties. Why would you want some crazy punk driving around sports cars annoying SUV's and mini-vans when that is what you want.
I say kss your youth goodbye and get with the guy who has already done it so you don't have to if that is what you really want . | |
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| Can a younger woman date an older man?
Posted: 7/19/2007 5:23:25 PM | There was a time I might have frowned on this........
But you know.....the ex husband of the woman I was with for six years married a woman about twenty three years younger than him. Their still together.... And she is a better woman to HIM, than the equal aged ex wife was to me......
What do you have to loose.....
And do you have a single sister who might be just 'slightly' older??? | |
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| Can a younger woman date an older man?
Posted: 7/19/2007 5:24:43 PM | First to answer your question, I think it would work but it is depend upon the individuals involve in the relationship. It will be a bit hard because people tend to be quite preceptive and you will get the stares as people passing by.
You are 23 and he is around 48?
Thats not too bad.
Is he around your parents ages and have you introduced him to any of your friends?
It is different once you introduce him to your friends and family. That when you feel the pressure and you may think differently.
That's not to say that a relationship is solely base on what other perceive of you but it does play a role here and there. We all have to go through different phrases in our life, the quarter century mark, the 30's, the 40's.
He might be worried that you rush into this and might regret later on. As you get older, you tend to think you are much wiser than the younger people and that they are too innocent to see what they are getting themself into and you don't want them to regret later on in their life and you try to do them a favor by doing what you think is right. In his case, separating himself from you. | |
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| Can a younger woman date an older man?
Posted: 7/19/2007 5:32:14 PM | | Can you or another younger woman date an older? Absolutely, and if there's sex involved, it's much like lush green Spring meeting the color and character of Autumn for one hot Summer. As for otherwise, excluding a sugar-daddy arrangement, chances are that you'll not last long as a couple ...if younger doesn't respect older's wisdom. Older knows so much more than younger thinks that it does for life, but if you share interests or activities ...and learning remains a pleasant passion for both, why not? I can think of no finer way to exit this world ...than living it right up to the end, and the exuberance of youth is on my lips again. | |
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| Can a younger woman date an older man?
Posted: 7/19/2007 5:40:22 PM | OP, it can really work out if BOTH people are secure about themselves and each other. It doesn't sound like he's quite there yet (understandable if he's not normally interested in younger women, but feels drawn to you in particular). If you feel he's special, don't let your ages stop you from trying.
Keep in mind he's going to be facing two real issues: among his peers, he has to be confident enough to shrug of the envious but usually good-natured ribbing of the men, as well as the the jealous (and probably venomous) displeasure of the women, who WILL be threatened. He might even lose some of his weaker friends, whose wives will make their lives a misery if they dare to socialize with you as a couple.
The issue YOU might face, unless he can get over his insecurity, is that his doubts about keeping you happy COULD turn into distrust. I can't think of a worse way to live for either of you. Him not trusting. You not being trusted.
If you can talk about these things now, and deal with them and decide to face them together, there's no reason why it can't work. Don't listen to the people who say blah, blah, blah, when you're 40 he'll be an old man of 65. It's just as likely that being with a younger woman will keep him youthful both physically and mentally. You could wind up with someone your own age who turns into one of those "old at 45 people." There are no guarantees in this life.
Go for it. | |
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| Can a younger woman date an older man?
Posted: 7/19/2007 5:56:15 PM | I know a 43 year old woman who's been married to a 22 year old man, 21 year difference... married happily for over a year, and they have a great relationship.
How it will work out in 20 years who knows and who cares... if you can have 10 great years or 20 or even more then its that long you enjoyed life more then most people ever will.
Just be sure you stay communicating on your feelings, and should you feel you don't want to be together anymore, leave on good terms. Too many people think breaking up has to be an angry time, when it doesn't.
Stop worrying about how other people feel and think of how BOTH you and he feels. Thats all that matters.
Good luck :) | |
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| Can a younger woman date an older man?
Posted: 7/19/2007 6:14:05 PM | Sounds fine to me. But I can understand his concerns on this subject, as you are young and pretty.
1) Most guys are jealous of him, and will call him a dirty old man. Usually the guys who want to get dirty with you. Some will try and get violent over you.
2) Most women are feeling like they cannot compete with you, and get insecure. So the women his age will ask him why is he not with someone his own age.
3) The other women your age will feel a little insecure about it, and may try to tell you lies about him, and to convince you that you are better off with someone your own age. These women know EXACTLY what guys your age want, and the last thing they see is you being able to break out of your mould, and get someone worth having.
4) He's also thinking about your heart, and his. You may feel different later, but not want to split because you love him. He may feel the same way, too. It can be painful.
4) Finally, in 17 years, you'll be 40. If you split up then, you can come back on POF, and date 25-year-olds. But in 17 years, he'll be 65. So, he's also thinking of if you will change your mind about him as he gets older.
I'd say: go for it. Not because there aren't problems, but as Carol says in As Good As It Gets:
Carol: Why can't I find a normal boyfriend?
Carol's Mom: We all want that dear. They don't exist. Love comes in all forms, and rare it is. If it wasn't rare, you think there would be men or women who have been without a loving partner for over 7 years? Check the posts. There are many.
So you and he should take the chance, because sex can be found quite easily, if you are willing to compromise. So can companionship. But a true emotional connection is not something you find every day.
A friend once told me that if you can have as many real friends as you have fingers on one hand, you are a lucky man indeed. So it is with love.
Grab hold, and don't let go.
The wheel of life is fast.
The wheel of sex is faster still.
The wheel of love is very, very slow. | |
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