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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > ''See where things go'',exactlly what does that mean?.....      Home login  
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 Sweetsunnyside
Joined: 6/27/2007
Msg: 1
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''See where things go'',exactlly what does that mean?.....Page 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Hopeing you can explain this to me,...

I am getting alittle confused with the what i thought was a simple straight forward meaning of ''see where things go''

It seems that there is two meanings of this sentence, theres the gals way majourity of us meaning (get to know you first,via the net,or phone,then when comfortable meet and get to know face to face better,...if had fun and enjoyed each others company then things progress into a relationship hopefully long lasting,maybe)

The second meaning of the same sentence is a guys way of reading it ....which is, yes i will send a message,yes i will tell you all these nice things (because thats what us gals want to hear right)?....Yes i will tell you that i want the same as you,and to ''see where things go''....all sounding alright so far???

Only here comes the guys apparent real deffinition to the sentance of ''see where things go,
send messages to any gal,the more the better get more answers that way .... '' chat over the net,laugh where appropiate,then ask to see more pictures,(What you got no naked ones!!!bummer ok, on to plan 2),...tell you all the things you want to hear,(exchange phone no's, chat about relationship,meeting each other ect)....then when told often enough a gal is going to eventually give in and believe your genuine (yeah cause we are all just so easy apparently)!!, then arrange to meet,make out that you get on with the gal,that you have had a real great time,get them layed....then get out fast!!!
Puts a whole new meaning to the sentence ''see where things go'' hey?

So please can someone explain a few things to me,...What exactlly does the sentance ''see where things go'' exactlly mean? and why guys feel they need to act in the way they do? especially when their profile says 'want relationship' when actually they dont they just want to get layed,being able to add 'want relationship' is a bonus! us gals read that we think 'genuine' 'not a player'....do guys really look at us gals has being all stupid?or is it just us single mums that must be?....i dont get it,sorry

This dateing experience is turning into a what the hell am i doing on here i can get the guys end result of ''see where things go'' far quicker via going out on a friday/sat night....geeee give me strength for gods sake,!!!

My first time at starting a thread so scream at me if i have done this wrong, thankyou for any help in advance
 the.unseen.machine
Joined: 4/16/2007
Msg: 2
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''See where things go'',exactlly what does that mean?.....
Posted: 7/20/2007 3:47:44 AM
It means, and quite simply "I am unsure of what i want". Men are just as insecure than women you know, some even more so. Though there are those who use it as a ploy to get laid, fro these men there is no excuse...they are just ignorant...
 kindapicky
Joined: 8/28/2005
Msg: 3
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''See where things go'',exactlly what does that mean?.....
Posted: 7/20/2007 3:59:11 AM
Hey Sweet, It could mean several, 1. see what I can get, 2. I like her pics, will she talk to me, 3. want to take things slow because he's been burned
 bravo1965
Joined: 8/18/2006
Msg: 4
''See where things go'',exactlly what does that mean?.....
Posted: 7/20/2007 4:01:51 AM
SweetSunnySide

Hi, I will be honest here and say why I use that expression... if I am not sure about the person or where its going I say those words. Usually I have had the feeling already that it will go nowhere, but I give it a little more time and " see where it goes "
 JWA
Joined: 5/21/2005
Msg: 5
''See where things go'',exactlly what does that mean?.....
Posted: 7/20/2007 4:07:57 AM
There always seems to be some confusion about what this comment or that saying means when it comes to dating site profiles-----this OP cites what is an almost perfect example of people reading things into something far different than perhaps was ever intended.

People create profiles based solely upon their individual understanding and interpretation of certain words or statements, very often thinking they mean one thing. Someone views that profile with their own understandings and interpretation of those same words and voila we have a "misunderstanding. More accurately we simply have two different people relating to one another from very different perspectives. It's nothing more than that really.

Too often people seek explanations why things like this happen and there is a "cure" of sorts----try writing your profile for those who will read it instead of yourself. While you might think it's clear and concise but yet too many seem to get the wrong impression anyway. A good example is my own profile which I always thought was crystal clear yet I still get messages that somewhat confuse me. Over the time here I've tweaked it until now it seems to be mostly perfect for my intentions here.

Don't get caught up in one little word or a sentence---you'll be wasting your time and energy on simple different perspectives on the same subject. If in doubt what something means ask the one making the comment---that's the only way to really know what the heck is going on!
 Dog Mommy
Joined: 7/11/2005
Msg: 6
''See where things go'',exactlly what does that mean?.....
Posted: 7/20/2007 4:10:11 AM
so...you had sex and he hasn't called? I'm confused with this thread....is this an "I'm angry" with you post?
 sandilynne
Joined: 12/8/2005
Msg: 7
''See where things go'',exactlly what does that mean?.....
Posted: 7/20/2007 4:30:32 AM
I'm not sure why the expression itself confuses you. It means exactly that. The difference is simply a matter of where an individual would like to see things go. Some want a long term, deeply meaningful relationship, others simply want friendship and of course there are those who just want to jump yer bones! (BTW, gender does not determin which catagory a person will fall into - let's get real here.)

So if you have encountered someone you find peaks your interest, relax and "see where it goes" with them. If things do not appear to be moving in the direction you wish them to, then just go!

 LovelyArkAngel
Joined: 7/5/2007
Msg: 8
''See where things go'',exactlly what does that mean?.....
Posted: 7/20/2007 4:48:32 AM
Well, your right about when a woman uses it ...it means....email, online chat, phone calls, meeting in person, lots of dates, sex, marriage.....the last 2 can be reversed dependng on the person.
Of what I've seen, men's version.......email (with everything you wanna hear
even though wwe secretly laugh when we write it.). Pictures (What no naked ones...bummer. Will lose some guys interest here ), IM (What you don't have a web cam and/or do cyber sex....will lose more here.) Phone calls (Your not into Phone sex ?????!!!! Will lose some more here. ) Meeting in person (Gee you look different ...
did you gain weight...What do you mean wait for sex???.....will lose many there.)
After sex happens......"I'm so busy at work. I don't have time. I decided to work things out with my wife/girlfriend, Your're just not my type, etc. "
Take it from me, I've been around in online dating awhile....this is right on
 Sweetsunnyside
Joined: 6/27/2007
Msg: 9
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''See where things go'',exactlly what does that mean?.....
Posted: 7/20/2007 4:54:10 AM
unseen machine
"I am unsure of what i want".

i was actually woundering if this was the answer,it amazes me though how many peeps dont actually read profiles as mine states.''must know what he wants''

1956seeking hi there, thankyou for that it answers a few things

bravo1965-
I give it a little more time and " see where it goes "
so the saying if a guy is genuine he will still be there in the morning may be true?

JWA-
Don't get caught up in one little word or a sentence
, that is very true,and i think i have deffo done just that,only my mistake as i should of put what i meant by this on my profile,(i will correct it)....then comes the problem of how many actually read right to the bottom of someones profile anyway ?....you know you talk sense,thankyou!!

Dog Mommy
so...you had sex and he hasn't called? I'm confused with this thread....is this an "I'm angry" with you post?

No i am angry at nobody,i have been here a few weeks and not met anybody offline,so no its nothing to do with having sex either....if it was i would of put that tbh,(dont take that wrong way) ....it was purely that us as gals see the meaning differently to guys and why is that?,thats all!!!

thanks for the replys
 Sweetsunnyside
Joined: 6/27/2007
Msg: 10
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''See where things go'',exactlly what does that mean?.....
Posted: 7/20/2007 5:05:46 AM
LovelyArkAngel
Well, your right about when a woman uses it ...it means....email, online chat, phone calls, meeting in person, lots of dates, sex, marriage.....the last 2 can be reversed dependng on the person.
Of what I've seen, men's version.......email (with everything you wanna hear
even though wwe secretly laugh when we write it.). Pictures (What no naked ones...bummer. Will lose some guys interest here ), IM (What you don't have a web cam and/or do cyber sex....will lose more here.) Phone calls (Your not into Phone sex ?????!!!! Will lose some more here. ) Meeting in person (Gee you look different ...
did you gain weight...What do you mean wait for sex???.....will lose many there.)
After sex happens......"I'm so busy at work. I don't have time. I decided to work things out with my wife/girlfriend, Your're just not my type, etc. "
Take it from me, I've been around in online dating awhile....this is right on


lmaoo, you got it, bang on exactlly what i mean!!!!
thankyou so much for explaining it exactly how i was trying to, .....only i havent met any offline just chatted online to them
 scorpiomover
Joined: 4/19/2007
Msg: 11
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''See where things go'',exactlly what does that mean?.....
Posted: 7/20/2007 5:09:54 AM
"see where things go" = start with fun, and take it from there. It includes sex. Just go with the flow, and decide later on if you two both want to live together.

The term started before this "player" syndrome started, back in the days when men were not as much into getting as many notches on their bedpost as they are now, and didn't have as many problems, either in getting laid, or in a relationship.

If women see it differently than men, it is not any different than any other part of dating, or 50 years ago, either. A lot of men only want sex, and a lot of women want more than sex.

There is NO DIFFERENCE. If you see a difference between how men see this and how women see this, you are adding your own feelings on relationships into the definition.

You cannot expect this to be true.

emails are just that.
IMs are just that.
phone calls are just that.
sex is just that.

The only thing that matters is when you actively declare that you are "dating", or "seeing someone". Until then, you are FBs, FWBs, friends, or whatever, and until you are going on dates, or officially spending time for that purpose, a man has to right to act one way with his friends, and another way with a date.

Understand:

Most men will NOT make efforts for just anyone.

Most women are happy to be "friends" with anyone.
Most women will only date someone who is NOT just anyone.
Most women will only have sex with someone who is NOT just anyone.

If a guy is making any special efforts for you, but you are NOT dating him, then you are officially declaring that he thinks you are somewhat special, but he is NOT special at all.
You might as well say he is an ugly 80-year-old woman, because you'd be friends with her. So you're insulting him.

The only other way for him to feel special is to get sex from you. Because you would NOT sleep with an ugly 80-year-old woman.

If you want to be on the same page as men, start being clear about who you are friends with, and who you are NOT. Till then, the only way for men to clarify things is to sleep with you, and if he has to con you into getting everything he wants just to get a little respect, then you are NOT someone he can respect.

Just my $0.02
 crystalise
Joined: 6/11/2005
Msg: 12
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''See where things go'',exactlly what does that mean?.....
Posted: 7/20/2007 5:57:27 AM
to me it means:

"I like you and want to see what happens " This is of course in the early stages of dating

However, if its been a couple of months [ everyone standards of when a "talk" should happen varies] but as I said if it is still being said months later then to me it means

" Im just cruising along and not sure what I want and am not really good at making my mind about much " OR

" I will continue to see you until someone else comes along I like better"

Hope this helps
 VeddiVeddiVixxen
Joined: 3/27/2007
Msg: 13
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''See where things go'',exactlly what does that mean?.....
Posted: 7/20/2007 6:03:15 AM
I think it means exactly that. Don't analyze it.
 life_of_leisure
Joined: 1/4/2007
Msg: 14
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''See where things go'',exactlly what does that mean?.....
Posted: 7/20/2007 6:06:23 AM
Unseen.machine (and JWA, too) had it about right: the phrase means you're taking a vague, non-committal, passive and fatalistic approach where you're more concerned with the status of the relationship as you see it than with actively making it right for both of you. It's a way women have of dumping responsibility onto men while maintaining the distance needed to keep the judge position.
 JoeMetro
Joined: 6/27/2007
Msg: 15
''See where things go'',exactlly what does that mean?.....
Posted: 7/20/2007 6:24:45 AM
Anytime I hear things like "Let's see where things go" from a woman that I am trying to make an impression upon - I quickly realize I didn't make that impression. So I go . . . away...

If you don't strike the spark - then you get 'see where things go' - and there is no fire.

if you don't trip the trigger - then don't waste your time - you can't keep pulling the trigger hoping it will fire at some point ... 99 times out of a hundred - nothing changes - nothing gets better - so leave gracefully...

Joe
 EpisodeIV
Joined: 6/28/2006
Msg: 16
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''See where things go'',exactlly what does that mean?.....
Posted: 7/20/2007 7:43:20 AM
To "see where things go" is open ended. As a guy, when I read that I try to interprete it within the context within which it is written. That is often difficult however as many do not put a lot on their profiles.

So sometimes "see where things go" may certainly imply that if we click and things are going well we might just end up in bed or somewhere else with our clothes off.

Other times it may be we meet for a brief period to see if we like each other, see if there is any kind of spark or potential then "see where things go" as in a second date.

My suggestion is that if you think it is being misinterpreted, be more specific about what that means to you. I had a mentor once who said don't write so that you'll be understood, write so that you will not be misunderstood. Maybe that applies here.

Looking over your profile OP the first thing I notice of course, as a guy, you are showing a significant amount of skin. Hey we're guys! Skin, especially midriff has us wanting to "see where things go" as in can I see more skin. You also have the two photos with your hand over your breast. To me that is inviting or seemingly offering more. You are a pretty woman. Won't be if you continue smoking however as that ages you very rapidly! Can already see it in your face.

I tend to read a profile of a person that catches my interest at least two or three times before I'll seriously consider contacting them. I want to know I read what they wrote and not so much of what I wanted to read into it. That is why, for those interested, I'll add someone to my favorites long before I'll think about contacting them. I want to go back and read their profile again and again. I want to reduce the chances I'll misintrepret what they are trying to convey.

May I suggest you also spend some time to polish up your profile. Correct mispellings. Add some missing words so that it is easier to read and thus easier to understand. Make it less likely to be misunderstood. Have a friend help, make suggestions, proof it, etc. Just be sure it says what you want it to and that it really is you.

And... best of luck fishin'
 Irreverent Lass
Joined: 6/7/2007
Msg: 17
''See where things go'',exactlly what does that mean?.....
Posted: 7/20/2007 9:59:02 AM
When I say "See where things go" I am simply not making any promises nor am I expecting any from the other person. It's, to me, a mutual understanding that there are no expectations beyond exploring possibilities. I don't say that to anyone I have no intention of dating beyond a third date.

If I am not into them, I say "I don't see this going anywhere."

I don't interpret for other people. If I am not sure of what they mean, I would ask. "So beyond just going with the flow, is there a direction you'd like to see this go?"

If there's no answer, you have your answer.
 Bene elim
Joined: 6/28/2007
Msg: 18
''See where things go'',exactlly what does that mean?.....
Posted: 7/20/2007 10:29:21 AM
When a guy says "see how things go" it usually means he wants to meet you and if he likes the look of you (or if he can) to get into bed with you.

When I say it to a girl I mean it in the sense "I'd like to get to know you more, be friends and see where things progress from there". Alas, a lot of women interpret that as me wanting to have sex with them. I guess I can't blame them but some shouldn't really shouldn't flatter themselves!

If I just wanted sex do you think I would have bothered to type such a long and drawn out profile, to put the time and effort into a message and all that? If I just wanted sex I'd go and visit a hooker.
 fingsuperwoman
Joined: 5/15/2007
Msg: 19
''See where things go'',exactlly what does that mean?.....
Posted: 7/20/2007 10:30:36 AM
Means having little to no expectations for the future of the relationship.
Means they aren't sure if you are what they want, but they are willing to try you on for size.
 stoney1
Joined: 4/29/2007
Msg: 20
''See where things go'',exactlly what does that mean?.....
Posted: 7/20/2007 11:16:59 AM
Alrighty then, time to clear the air a weee bit here. First, women want sex too. So saying guys are always having to fool women into have sex, is wrong. Just not the case, sorry to burst your bubble. It drives me nuts when people keep saying this, lying to get what you want isn't a gender thing, it's people thing. Some PEOPLE do that, some PEOPLE don't. If two PEOPLE decided to have sex, I'm pretty sure it's because they both wanted to.

"See where things go" means the exact same thing when a guy says it and when a woman does. It means they have no idea where, if anywhere, things will go between the two of you and they're being honest.

K, I feel better now, lol.
 a1na2
Joined: 10/3/2006
Msg: 21
''See where things go'',exactlly what does that mean?.....
Posted: 7/20/2007 11:22:58 AM
The first meaning is the correct meaning. However , some guys give the rest of us a bad rap by using the second meaning.

Learn to recognize the second group of bozos so as not to waste time in trying to find us serious types.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 22
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''See where things go'',exactlly what does that mean?.....
Posted: 7/20/2007 11:50:27 AM
I do notice that when you talk ambivalent to a guy online, they for some reason equate it to sex...how, I have no idea.

I'll say "go with the flow" or "see what happens" and it means let's just talk, hang out and not expect more than a friendship - and then if we end up clicking, fine but if not, that's fine too. I am not the "hunting for relationship" type, but that doesn't mean I am on a sex hunt either. Most times it's neither. To me it cant be anything before I know who I am dealing with.

Never does sex enter the equation for me, yet a lot of men assume I meant lets get drunk and see where we end up, which isn't even close to what I said.

I think the across the board rule should be that unless a woman brings up sex in correspondance, it doesn't get discussed. If a man brings it up first, 99% of the time he's jumping the gun and it just won't go well. But thats a man's choice to screw up or not.
 deerdog1
Joined: 12/29/2006
Msg: 23
''See where things go'',exactlly what does that mean?.....
Posted: 7/20/2007 11:52:52 AM
well from my experience.... when a guy says it he is trying to bow out and not just run Most guys i think run not because they did or did not get the booty but because the women want the commitment to start on the first or second date ladies quit looking so damn hard for the relationship and it just might find you... most of the women i have been out with want instant relationship ...My God date become friends and choose your LTR from your friends We dont run because we did or did not get laid ... we run cause we feel the door slamming shut ... and the feeling that any guy that is not a complete looser will do for your relationship... dont play the game ...are you goin to call me ,are you goin to come over tomorrow , what do you want my kids to call you .... i know im being sarcastic but it happens no if you girls want to find your true destination in life ... change your profile from LTR to friends ...on the next first date follow your heart and whatever happens at the end say call me if you like ...and flip your hair back hold your head up and walk away ...he will call ... that is if he dosent sleep on the sidewalk outside your house.. wait till you are friends and know each other before picking out china patterns

Guys if your perceived as needy you will never get laid
ladies if your perceived as needy you will never get that LTR
ladies if your goal for a LTR wasent so strong a player wouldnt have anything to play you with
 Thebluesteyes
Joined: 2/20/2007
Msg: 24
''See where things go'',exactlly what does that mean?.....
Posted: 7/20/2007 5:45:09 PM
LovelyArkAngel... BRAVO>>>I LOVE EVERY WORD YOU WROTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You hit that one right on the nail!!! Thanks............
 Sweetsunnyside
Joined: 6/27/2007
Msg: 25
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''See where things go'',exactlly what does that mean?.....
Posted: 7/21/2007 6:29:56 AM
Firstly thankyou all for your comments,they have actually helped me,although i feel i needed to clear a few things up from your comments.

EpisodeIV- comments noted and thankyou for being straight up,...although i am not fully understanding why a gal wearing a short top (which is how i usually dress) showing skin and having her hand on her breast automatically states to a guy that i just want to get layed,
But i do understand and will rectify my profile to make clear that i am not just 'in it to get layed' ....like you say 'write it so i wont be missunderstood'

i guess some guys need it spelled out to them so as such thats what ill do,thankyou.

lakegirl11- blimey sorry to read about your expierence , its for just the reason in your post that i decided to ask you guys for your input before i made any mistakes,....i will say that yesterday after reading these posts i actually asked a few guys on my msn certain questions,was straight with them and exactly to the point,and alot of your posts where very true,it was like reading back what you guys had posted....'Just going with the flow', 'not interested in a relationship', What amazes me is it says 'want a relationship' in their profiles,....guess its a new 'easy' way of making out that they ' know what they want' when infact its not, these ppl are still in it for the easy fun its just these ppl have realized that if they put 'hang out' or 'just for fun' on their profiles then that dont really interest many of the opposite sex, to put 'want a relationship' gets far more replies in their inbox so to speak.....

uglybetty-thankyou for your reply and i fully agree with what your saying....but i just could'nt resist saying it....it must be your picture lol, showing too much of the midriff off ,just too much skin haha....

Thankyou all for your replys much appreciated
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