| | Does it really matter who makes more money???Page 1 of 5 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5) | I have read so many forums here it makes my head spin. But I see a common theme of woman who don't like it if they make more money than a man in a relationship. Why is this? Aren't we living in a liberated world of equality?
No no no I am not saying ALL woman. I am most certain there are many many woman who aren't this way. But I have seen evidence from the gold diggers up to the classier woman say this sort of thing?
So ladies ( gents free to comment as well), what are your thoughts on this. Please be nice or my Yorkie will bite your ankles... she's defensive like that.  | |
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| Does it really matter who makes more money???
Posted: 7/20/2007 2:37:58 PM | | Personally I don't care if they do or not. But on that same note, I do prefer them to be fairly close to my income so that there won't be any ackwardness involved. I've found that men that make less than me are often uncomfortable if I'm always the one paying for dinners (usually because I like to eat a nicer places they normally wouldn't go). I also find that they get angry if they feel a need to live up to the level of lifestyle I prefer. | |
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| Does it really matter who makes more money???
Posted: 7/20/2007 2:39:37 PM | Not many are going to admit that's important to them, even if it's true.
What I always wonder when I read those type of threads is where are all these guys who make all this money? I know perfectly well I'll probably get some wise-acre remarks for even asking this - as in they're dating better women - but really, I only seem to meet people who make about the same amount as I do. It was that way all through my only long-term relationship, and it's been that way with the guys I've dated since then.
It works pretty well, to tell the truth. | |
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| Does it really matter who makes more money???
Posted: 7/20/2007 2:45:50 PM | Surely there are more important things in a relationship between two mature adults...?
Like who gets the remote...
Never cared myself, can't see that changing.
On a similar topic, if it makes more sense for me to stay at home and look after the kids, I'd do that as well.
Whatever it takes to make it work. | |
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| Does it really matter who makes more money???
Posted: 7/20/2007 2:46:09 PM | I have no issue with what a man makes for a living, and I surely would hope he wouldn't be concerned about my yrly income. The thing I care about is...is he honest, brush his teeth, bathe daily, and does he have a JOB?
If a man is looking for a sugah mama...LOL...he best keep on walking. I find a lot of my friends talk about wanting a rich boyfriend...personally...I don't care so much about money as I do in finding a decent man who'll respect me and not put everything in his life before me.
In any event, yes, there are gold diggers...in all walks of life. And I know some women who will NOT date a man unless he makes at least 6 figures a yr. To me that is shallow, but so are the women who feel it's beneath them to date ugly men, fat men, bald men, etc etc. To each their own, I suppose, but I am content in knowing I'm not THAT shallow yet, but if anyone catches me being that way...smack me ..really hard upside my head!
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| Does it really matter who makes more money???
Posted: 7/20/2007 2:48:22 PM | I'd have to say that in general there seems to be a lot more problems in relationships where a woman make more money than her s/o, especially if it's significantly more. The guy either feels like he's not the one wearing the pants or is insecure about it, or the woman thinks that because she makes more money he has to do more around the house or whatever. While I don't think this is true in every case, and can as easily happen if the roles were reversed (he makes more than her) I would have to say that in general the problems are worse when a woman makes more money.
I would personally prefer to be with a man long term who makes about the same amount of money. I'd probably think the same if I were a man. When one person makes significantly more than their s/o it just sounds to me like a recipe for disaster. | |
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| Does it really matter who makes more money???
Posted: 7/20/2007 2:58:22 PM | | I think that going into a relationship is is easy to say it does not matter who makes more , but it is a factor and it is probably best that incomes are reasobably comparable. | |
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| Does it really matter who makes more money???
Posted: 7/20/2007 3:26:26 PM | | I think its a problem. I wouldn't like it too much if the women is making more than me and usually if I talk to someone and I hear what their job is and its a high paying job I'll feel like I'm not in her league. Whenever I hear nurse the first thing that goes off in my head is 70k per year plus. And me slaving away at my job not making even half of that. So yes its a problem with me. | |
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| Does it really matter who makes more money???
Posted: 7/20/2007 3:28:14 PM | | It wouldn't matter to me. Being close in incomes would be great as well. Growing up, both my parents were teachers and made alright money, so the two incomes let us live a better lifestyle than if just one of my parents were working. My ex and I were close as well, and again, we could just live a better lifestyle than if there was a big difference. Not because one made more than the other, but the combined total would have been less. | |
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| Does it really matter who makes more money???
Posted: 7/20/2007 3:42:42 PM | It's lack of money people fight about... not excess... ! ... so enough money is always going to be the question... and for some ... zillions would never be enough.
Shared values are very important as is the same views on responsibility to income and spending/ debt and other financial matters... or their is going to be trouble down the road... not a road exactly, more like a very short street. | |
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| Does it really matter who makes more money???
Posted: 7/20/2007 3:45:51 PM | Like may of the posters I don't care what his income is so long as he is able to provide for himself. I would not want to be with a man who wasn't able to take care of himself anymore than a man would want to have a woman who was going to be a financial burden to him.
My reason for him wanting his financial independence has more to do with his self-worth than with my not wanting to help him. I have known men in the past who were financially provided for by the women in their lives and the relationships always deteriorated quickly because of it. Men need that self-respect that comes from not needing anyone in life and thus the person they are with is because they "want" to be with them, not because they need to be taken care of financially.
When people come into a relationship as self-sufficient they both can contribute to the relationship without becoming a liability to their new perspective partner. Since money is the biggest cause of divorce according to all the surveys done, it only goes to show how important it is that both are able to contribute to the relationship without bankrupting it (financially or emotionally). | |
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shoree
| | Joined: 4/29/2007
Msg: 15 | |
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| Does it really matter who makes more money???
Posted: 7/20/2007 4:02:53 PM | Who makes more money should never enter the equation. As long as both partners bring something worth something to the table money is irrelevant, IMHO.
Happy fishing.  | |
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| Does it really matter who makes more money???
Posted: 7/20/2007 4:05:54 PM | From my experience, I am not sure if it is the amount of money that the woman makes or the perception of the "power" of money percieved by the man in question.
My impression is that for many men, money equals power. So if the woman makes more money, she has more power, therefore more independance, therefore, he concludes she does not need him...
Just a perception from my life experiences.
PS: Love your Yorkie...  | |
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| Does it really matter who makes more money???
Posted: 7/20/2007 4:09:37 PM | I think women are generally attracted to successful men ... and to be successful, a man doesn't necessarily have to be a movers and shaker or earn more than she does.
They just have to be otherwise productive individuals with drive and ambition who stay busy earning a modest wage.
After all, there's probably nothing less attractive to a woman, than a Millionaire that sits around in his underwear all day posting in POF forums.
(eeeeeasy now ... nice doggie) | |
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| Does it really matter who makes more money???
Posted: 7/20/2007 4:16:58 PM | As many have said there's a lot more things that are more important than comparing income or bank statements. It's really more a matter of how that person's income influences their life and thinking. There's miserable wealthy people and happy people with less money in the bank.
Some people are controlled by money and whatever they perceive it brings them. Some just think of it as something necessary to live. As long as both have the same attitude the amount of their income won't be a factor. | |
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| Does it really matter who makes more money???
Posted: 7/20/2007 4:32:14 PM | | Bottom line, it doesn't matter who makes more in the big scheme of things. If your SO (male or female) makes less than you and is uncomfortable about it, the problem lies with them, not you. That is unless the one that makes more is flaunting that fact and belittling you for it. With all the other things we have to 'deal' with when dating, this shouldn't be one of them. | |
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| Does it really matter who makes more money???
Posted: 7/20/2007 4:38:30 PM | I have been looking for a woman who makes more than me all my life.  I have only gone out with 2 women who fit that description. One was a golddigger. After a few dates with me, she was looking for her sugar daddy. And the other one did indeed become my girlfriend. The money really was never an issue between us. | |
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| Does it really matter who makes more money???
Posted: 7/20/2007 5:01:26 PM | | It was never an issue until last summer when I dated this guy and the subject came up. I didn't make alot more than him but it was enough that it bothered him and the fact that he lost his apt after the storm so I guess he was "sensitive" or something. I want a man that works/has a job and it's important that he enjoys what he's doing,, so I would say that it still doesn't bother me! | |
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