| | single mom body issuesPage 1 of 9 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9) | | I have a question for men out there who have been with single moms...does the fact that our bodies have been changed forever by having a child turn you off? I am newly dating again and my beautiful little girl left her signature by the way of stretch marks on my belly and chest. I am worried that it could be a deal breaker for the men I choose to become sexually active with. Ladies, any thoughts too? | |
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| single mom body issues
Posted: 7/21/2007 3:54:56 PM | | femme, Only if you want to call too much attention to the stretch marks as flaws. A man who's into you, and not just into appearances, will not care otherwise. One should lose their vanity after what makes for developing real character. After certain life experiences, and becoming ...besides being a good mother before a "Hey, look at me!" model, is a prime example for the 'whys' for this. | |
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| single mom body issues
Posted: 7/21/2007 3:56:36 PM | | Honey, with my having two kids--one the "natural way" and the other by C-section--you can imagine what my body looks like. While I have no"overt" stretch marks on my belly, my rear is covered with them--and lots of cellulite. If I can attract "quality attention", then you should have nothing to worry about. | |
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| single mom body issues
Posted: 7/21/2007 4:11:44 PM | | Hey ive been with a single mom sexually and have a few friends that are single moms strech marks from having kids haven never been an issue for me. Way I see it if the person is into you sexually it wont matter that theres some marks there. Getting a womans clothes off is a fun mystrie, fun part for me is seein what her **** looks like oh how I love to lick. | |
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| single mom body issues
Posted: 7/21/2007 4:15:39 PM | | I have NEVER had a man stop to look at any streatch marks - thinking about them would only be my hang up - not he guy I am going to bed with!! Be happy with yourself and others will too! Take off your clothes with confidence and no one will notice!!! When I take off my clothes - I am a 10+!!! | |
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| single mom body issues
Posted: 7/21/2007 4:17:42 PM | I have stretch marks too. I don't let that deter me from being with someone. I love the way I look irregardless of the stretch marks. My pregnancy and the quick weight gain at some is what caused the stretch marks. I don't dwell on them. I have three beautiful children in my life.
Any man should be lucky to see me naked. I'm lucky to see any man naked. It's a two way street. I'll appreciate his body and he'll appreciate mine. We hope anyways! | |
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| single mom body issues
Posted: 7/21/2007 4:18:41 PM | Femme, you are a stunning woman. If a couple strech marks are a problem for the guys you date I would suggest looking for less obtuse group of men to date..
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| single mom body issues
Posted: 7/21/2007 4:24:38 PM | Of course there are men that are very bothered by women that have/are _________. (Insert whatever you like there.) Of course it will be a deal breaker for some. So what? If you found a man you find initially interesting, then you find out it bothered him, would you stay around someone like that? I hope not. No one wants to be around anyone that thinks of their partner as "less than" or lacking or "if only there were _________" this way. Personality, habits or body type.
It's all a crap shoot on how each individual body handled pregnancy, signs of it lingering. Heredity only goes so far for some, farther for others. The body has a purpose. Looks are a bonus.
My body has been through three children later in life. It's not the same as when I was 24, not remotely. I joke with another girlfriend about this. The point is, I can only do so much, I wish things were different, but I don't contemplate it much - it is what it is. I'm try not to think too much about anything in life that I can't change, this is just one of them.
There are plenty of good men that will not be bothered ~ sift through and find them. Most of the time, if it doesn't bother you, it won't bother them.
Good luck dating again ~  | |
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| single mom body issues
Posted: 7/21/2007 4:28:28 PM | | thanks for the encouragement. I like my body...it has a story to it that no one else has. Just a little nervous about disrobing in front of someone who wasn't there to see how my body changed. I know it is nothing to be worried about, just wanted to know what others thought... | |
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| single mom body issues
Posted: 7/21/2007 4:28:29 PM | | It shouldn't be an issue at all if you've made enough of a connection to make it that far. Hell, I'd be willing to bet he's probably a bit worried about how HE looks to YOU as well! Everyone has their insecurities but amazing how they fall away if you don't bring attention to them because you never look as bad to someone else as you do to yourself. We're always our own worst critic! | |
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| single mom body issues
Posted: 7/21/2007 5:07:20 PM | | i do,i admit it! i had a guy friend(ok,hes a friend,probably trying to be sweet) tell me if icould climb in most guys minds,they wouldn't notice them until you mentioned them and look past them. so i worry,but eventually when i'm with someone i forget about being self conscious about them. i worry more about my big feet..lol. | |
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| single mom body issues
Posted: 7/21/2007 5:09:42 PM | | I would'nt reject a woman because of stretch marks due to child birth. To me, those stretch marks add to her all around beauty. | |
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| single mom body issues
Posted: 7/21/2007 5:12:16 PM | If he knows you have kids, then I'm sure he expects your body to show it. Believe me, I have been in the same spot you are. I had my son by cesarean.. I have stretch marks and cellulite as well. I've gotten to the point where I don't care.. there's only so much I can do. Those marks are from one of the most loved things in my life. If a guy wants to be in my life then he'll overlook them.
I bet you anything guys worry about things just like we do. It's only natural. Our biggest critic is always ourselves.
But I kinda think I rock! | |
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| single mom body issues
Posted: 7/21/2007 5:24:46 PM | | What is wrong with a couple of stretch marks? With most guys out there losing their hair. People can't always be perfect. | |
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| single mom body issues
Posted: 7/21/2007 5:24:47 PM | I am 34 and have had a child, so I have some . . .intersting marks . . .and scars. I usually don't worry about it too much.
My last BF was much younger than me, and super skinny. I was just about to start worrying about my stretch marks . . .when I noticed that he had stretch marks on the sides of his hips, probably from some growth spurt in his teens when he stretched upward.
We all have our flaws. I always swore up and down that I would never date a guy with hair on his back, until I fell in love with a hot guy with hair on his back. Now I think it's kind of sexy | |
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| single mom body issues
Posted: 7/21/2007 5:33:27 PM | | How is it some women look fantastic and have no stretch marks after babies? Just lucky genetics? I saw a pic of Denise Richards in a bikini and she looks amazing after 2 kids. | |
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| single mom body issues
Posted: 7/21/2007 5:41:02 PM | | A woman who's insecure about her body is far more unattractive than whatever is causing the insecurity. I've known a woman who said the same thing when she had a model body but had a tiny coin sized birth-mark on her bum. I also knew a girl who had a huge scar from an operation, but she "thought it made her look like a badass" and she was one of the sexiest girls I had ever known. It's all in your head. | |
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| single mom body issues
Posted: 7/21/2007 5:47:50 PM |
I have a question for men out there who have been with single moms...does the fact that our bodies have been changed forever by having a child turn you off? I am newly dating again and my beautiful little girl left her signature by the way of stretch marks on my belly and chest. I am worried that it could be a deal breaker for the men I choose to become sexually active with. Ladies, any thoughts too?
Heck no, not for a second. If its a deal breaker for the guy, you're with the wrong guy.
Deluste | |
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| single mom body issues
Posted: 7/21/2007 5:55:07 PM | | I dated a single mom who I thought was so beautiful. When the time came for us to be intimate, she started talking about her stretch marks. Let me tell you that stretch marks was the last thing on my mind. I probably wouldn't have even noticed them. And if I did, it wouldn't change a thing. She was a hottie in my eyes. She clearly had more issues with her baby marks than I did. She made it a topic every time we were together. I know it's difficult for a women, but I really don't think men are that critical. I never heard one of my friends say,"she's hott , but those stretch marks..." | |
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| single mom body issues
Posted: 7/21/2007 7:01:02 PM | | I actually had a lover who was simply infatuated with stretch marks - he just loved them. Go figure... so your "mommy body" may be a serious turn on for some guys! Don't buy into the Cosmo mentality... not all men what Elle Mcpherson or Naomi Campbell bodies - some men really go wild for real women bodies - stretch marks, bellies, baby hips and so on. :) | |
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| single mom body issues
Posted: 7/21/2007 7:03:30 PM | Absolutely not! There is nothing quite so sexy as a woman that has moved into the era of motherhood. We all change with life's twists and turns. If you find a decent guy, you will see that he loves you for who you are and not just for your sexy body!! | |
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| single mom body issues
Posted: 7/21/2007 7:07:10 PM | Now, while I don't have a fetish about stretch marks or anything, I certainly am NOT turned off by them-if anything, they are a woman's badge of honor; she got them from having a child(ren)...what could be cooler than that?  | |
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| single mom body issues
Posted: 7/21/2007 7:19:41 PM | This is an encouraging post!!! I've been worried about the same things, too. After having 3 babies in under 3 years, my body certainly shows the battle scars! That's probably been my biggest hang up about meeting anyone. Sure, they can see me with clothes on, but how are they going to feel once the clothes come off? Granted, not that I'm planning on sleeping with anyone - but still. You just never know - and that's an issue that has bothered me since having children. My body bounced back after the first. Not at all after the second and third, though!
So, this is pretty encouraging! I'll still have hang ups about it when the time comes, I'm sure. But it's still nice to see the replies! | |
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| single mom body issues
Posted: 7/21/2007 7:32:22 PM |
A woman who's insecure about her body is far more unattractive than whatever is causing the insecurity
That's the ticket upforadventure | |
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| single mom body issues
Posted: 7/21/2007 7:32:32 PM | Wow, I have never thought of it. I have given birth to 3 children. I got very lucky. I have very few stretch marks.
However, I have had 4 major surgeries that has scarred my body. The biggest one was from a tubal reversal and I have a scar from my bellybutton down. It bothered me for years, because I will never gain the flat abdomen that I once had, regardless how much I work out. Mind you, it isnt very big, and I have never had anyone comment on it or any of my scars.
I think I have a pretty good body for someone who just turned 43 | |
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