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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Should I let my girlfriend bang my friend?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Ottpilgrim
Joined: 4/3/2007
Msg: 1
Should I let my girlfriend bang my friend?Page 1 of 14    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)
So I've been dating this girl now for about 5 months and she's great, GGG (good giving and game), and loves me very much. She's been wanting to experiment in group sex but has said she would not do anything without my permission.

Now for me, I consider myself to be pretty open to most things. However, for some reason I find it hard to share my gf with other ppl.

Case in point, about 1 year ago I had several threesomes with my friend mike and his ex gf belinda. They were fun and we all enjoyed ourselves. Mike and belinda have since broken up. Now last night Mike was over with my girlfriend and I and we got to drinking and Mike having nobody at the moment started making passes at my gf who eagerly accepted with my consent. The playing stopped short of sex due to my rising jealousy. Even though i would like to get rid of this irrational jealously it still bothers me. It would just be sex and i know that but i think a host of insecurities are holding me back.

Question is should i let them **** and take part or forget about it? If it was another girl it would be no problem, but as its a guy i would be uncomfortable as i feel i would have to comptete, wasn't a problem b4 as i didn't care for belinda as i care for my gf. I think i would end up resenting her and ultimately dumping her. Should i go for it?
 migivadamsbusted
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 2
Should I let my girlfriend bang my friend?
Posted: 7/23/2007 9:27:31 AM
if you want a slut for a girlfriend go for it!
 mlm_mlm_mlm
Joined: 4/29/2007
Msg: 3
Should I let my girlfriend bang my friend?
Posted: 7/23/2007 9:31:25 AM
why does she have to particiapte? you have sex with your friends girls.... and have her watch..

 vahbsc
Joined: 1/5/2006
Msg: 4
Should I let my girlfriend bang my friend?
Posted: 7/23/2007 9:32:29 AM
don't do it. if you care about her than why share her... you already see what it did to belinda don't make the same mistake... i knew a married couple that had a threesome and then they all got into marrige conseling and never talked again
 Smart-Blonde
Joined: 2/26/2007
Msg: 5
Should I let my girlfriend bang my friend?
Posted: 7/23/2007 9:38:02 AM
OP you answered your own question. You don't want to because you care for this girl. Maybe for once, you have discovered what love is. You have just learned my friend, that when you truly care for someone, you don't want to share them. There is not one thing wrong with that. In my opinion, that is how it should be. If you let it happen, you risk losing both your friend and your girl because you are going to get hurt. The question you need to ask is.......... how much does this girl care and feel for you to want to do this. It is tough when the shoe is on the other foot huh? Maybe it is also because you have always been the 3rd person and now you are the one who has to do the sharing with your friend.
 mlm_mlm_mlm
Joined: 4/29/2007
Msg: 6
Should I let my girlfriend bang my friend?
Posted: 7/23/2007 9:39:24 AM
If you cannot satisfy her by yourself, you will be needing some help.... better a friend than someone she picks.


she may like who she picks better than you and leave you !
 NeedMojo
Joined: 7/2/2007
Msg: 7
Should I let my girlfriend bang my friend?
Posted: 7/23/2007 9:42:12 AM
I can see you now.... ("Hey!!! I don't make her feel that good!!!")

Why chase after trouble.
 Nick Thinker
Joined: 2/10/2007
Msg: 8
Should I let my girlfriend bang my friend?
Posted: 7/23/2007 9:42:53 AM
A most interesting case study!

As long as you all wear condoms, he let you have his (with her consent), know he wants yours (with her consent), you say you care for her "too much" for that, well do as I say and not as I do? If sharing her bothers you, why not give her up? It is the sex that bothers you or her wanting to have sex with another that should bother you? Or none of the two? OP needs to make up his mind about these things, IMO! Reciprocity and equality is THE word, between one and his friend and one and his GF.
 plumb5150
Joined: 2/27/2007
Msg: 9
Should I let my girlfriend bang my friend?
Posted: 7/23/2007 9:45:53 AM
migivadamsbusted: If you want a slut for a girlfriend go for it!
Sometimes the obvious answers are the best answers.
 mlm_mlm_mlm
Joined: 4/29/2007
Msg: 10
Should I let my girlfriend bang my friend?
Posted: 7/23/2007 9:46:00 AM
your real issue is that you think your gf will like your friend better and leave you... you know he wants her and she will like his style better.
Once he has her... he will not share her with anyone... but take her away from you right under your nose.

he's brillant.

You won't know what hit you !
 lone56wolf
Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 11
Should I let my girlfriend bang my friend?
Posted: 7/23/2007 9:56:40 AM
If you're not comfortable with it, why won't she respect that? Should you give in and go for it, she will use it against you when your relationship goes on the backslide. I have been in those shoes. Worst of headgames to battle are those with some truth to them.

Steve
 Hedda Lettuce
Joined: 7/30/2006
Msg: 12
Should I let my girlfriend bang my friend?
Posted: 7/23/2007 9:56:53 AM
Look at the end results between Mike and Belinda.......they broke up.
And so will you. Why? Because you will always wonder if your girl liked your friend better.
My 2 cents worth........don't do it.
 RACER256
Joined: 2/16/2007
Msg: 13
Should I let my girlfriend bang my friend?
Posted: 7/23/2007 10:06:09 AM
Follow your gut (dumbass)...You care about this person? Experimenting is fine, I wouldnt advise with someone you care about...Give me a break...
 24DegreeAngel
Joined: 2/26/2007
Msg: 14
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History
Should I let my girlfriend bang my friend?
Posted: 7/23/2007 10:07:47 AM
No... you probably will never get over it based on your own comments. Some people can only have things like 3somes with people they do not care about as you seem to have found out.
 tinbottom
Joined: 4/10/2007
Msg: 15
Should I let my girlfriend bang my friend?
Posted: 7/23/2007 10:11:37 AM
No.............if you want to play around doing that then dont do it with a woman you profess to love or care for.......

it is sooooo obviously a NO why ask
 curlygrl
Joined: 11/8/2006
Msg: 16
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Should I let my girlfriend bang my friend?
Posted: 7/23/2007 10:13:59 AM
You let your girlfriend bang your friend -
not only will you lose her- you will lose your friend and
you will lose your mind because whenever you are with her
you will think she is thinking of being with him.
Recipe for disasaster if you are not mentally up to it. It takes
tons of trust - I could not share. You are already jealous over their
flirting - sex with her, I cant even imagine on what level how hurt
you will be afterwards.
I was told by a very wise man that if you play - you play with people
that you are not emotionally attached too. It makes it easier. You
can disassociate yourself from it. You are attached.
curlygrl~
 eazk
Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 17
Should I let my girlfriend bang my friend?
Posted: 7/23/2007 10:15:43 AM
Reading this took me back to a recent article in Psychology Today.....about 10 Politically Incorrect Truths.....#3 "Most women benefit from polygyny, while most men benefit from monogamy" which states
When there is resource inequality among men—the case in every human society— most women benefit from polygyny: women can share a wealthy man. Under monogamy, they are stuck with marrying a poorer man.

The only exceptions are extremely desirable women. Under monogamy, they can monopolize the wealthiest men; under polygyny, they must share the men with other, less desirable women. However, the situation is exactly opposite for men. Monogamy guarantees that every man can find a wife. True, less desirable men can marry only less desirable women, but that's much better than not marrying anyone at all.

Men in monogamous societies imagine they would be better off under polygyny. What they don't realize is that, for most men who are not extremely desirable, polygyny means no wife at all, or, if they are lucky, a wife who is much less desirable than one they could get under monogamy.

This last paragraph really kinda hits it...you thought perhaps the whole idea of sharing was a good thing, until it was you.

And BTW, "wealthiest" frequently means in terms of pure economic, but it also means in terms of ability to provide for, protect, and in general, be the kind on "man" that women desire. So tapping your buddies g/f was good because it gave you access to something you desired, but perhaps the inverse scares you because of what you might lose.
 spacemanspiffter
Joined: 11/28/2006
Msg: 18
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History
Should I let my girlfriend bang my friend?
Posted: 7/23/2007 10:18:34 AM
Oh for sure. Why not. You sound like an idiot. Sooooooooooooooo Stupid is as stupid does. :) Maybe genetic engineering isn't such a bad thing after all?

I thank you.
 Nick Thinker
Joined: 2/10/2007
Msg: 19
Should I let my girlfriend bang my friend?
Posted: 7/23/2007 10:23:38 AM
Re: "Some people can only have things like 3somes with people they do not care about as you seem to have found out."

AND some people (many actually) can only do things like sex with people they do not care about. Ie sex is not an act of exchange of pleasure or (alternatively) pleasure is seen as a non caring thing. Strange world we live in. It is more about ownership than about anything else. Sad!

I only make love or have sex with friends, not with strangers nor with enemies. But I feel part of a world minority.

--------------------------------

re post 16:

In a way of thinking, he has already "lost" both his friend and his GF. Or never "had" them to begin with, neither of them.
 ~~SmilingEyes~~
Joined: 6/4/2007
Msg: 20
Should I let my girlfriend bang my friend?
Posted: 7/23/2007 10:23:49 AM
Let your friend bang his girlfriend.. Just cause he's between friends doesn't mean you should share..

BTW, personally I think threesomes are retarded.. god gave each sex a certain part so they can fit together nicely.. it's not like guys have two penises.. or girls have two vaginas.. Why try and make something fit that doesn't? Especially if it doesn't make you feel good about your relationship?
 Ottpilgrim
Joined: 4/3/2007
Msg: 21
Should I let my girlfriend bang my friend?
Posted: 7/23/2007 10:24:07 AM
Thanks for all your advice,

For one my girlfriend would not do anything without my consent, if she did that would be cheating and I would dump her, I am clear on this with her.

I guess the root of my problem lies in a lack of self-confidence. I should realize that she choose me for a reason and would not run off witt my friend first chance she got. As for my friend we have known each other for over 10 years, and he has enough integrity not to try and steal her away, he just wants to get laid, and since in the past he gave me the opportunity I feel as though he should get one in return.

Smart blonde raises some interesting points. Its true i very much care for this girl, and for once do not want to share. However, I don't think that's the ideal situation, but it does get much harder for me to seperate sex and love when you care so deeply. I have also asked myself the question of how much she cares and feels for me to want to do this. She's the first girl i've been with that never gets jealous. I have always found that to be strange. 2 months ago, one of my ex's invited us out to her b-day party and gave me this b-day kiss right in front of her and she never flinched. Yet through her actions she shows she cares for me deeply as well.

In the end in spite of all the risk and hangups I imagine I will go through with this. I'm still pretty young and I like to experiement and try new things. I feel hypocritical in taking and not giving, and in wanting two girls but not two guys. I'm confident in my sexual abilities but still I just wonder how it would feel to watch my gf being pleasured by another man.
 csod64
Joined: 6/21/2007
Msg: 22
Should I let my girlfriend bang my friend?
Posted: 7/23/2007 10:25:18 AM
In a word, "NO!" I know you want to please her--and allow her some degree of latitude. However, you are experiencing jealousy. What would keep you from striking out against either of them in the future--should you agree with this. You don't mind being with someone else's girl, but can't stand having someone with yours. In that case, let this girl go and find someone who only wants you--and you stick to her as well.
 migivadamsbusted
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 23
Should I let my girlfriend bang my friend?
Posted: 7/23/2007 10:28:59 AM
young and don't forget DUMMMMMMMB I cann just see you...oh honey have fun srewing every Tom,****and Harry!!!! Just remember I LUV YOU and make sure I'm in line along with Tom,****and Harry!!!
 mlm_mlm_mlm
Joined: 4/29/2007
Msg: 24
Should I let my girlfriend bang my friend?
Posted: 7/23/2007 10:30:10 AM
hate to burst your bubble OP

but this girl is not with you because she wants you forever, she is just sexually experimenting.

when she is done, she will find a man... not a penis to toy with. sounds like the control you think you have on her.. is just part of the game.
you would have to be foolish ( which I think is the case)... to think you can control anyones actions and responses, hers or anyones.

I'd say get with your friend of 10 years and let her see how he pleasures you in between women.... she will either play along or it will gross her out.
least it will be honest.
 Nick Thinker
Joined: 2/10/2007
Msg: 25
Should I let my girlfriend bang my friend?
Posted: 7/23/2007 10:31:48 AM
but still I just wonder how it would feel to watch my gf being pleasured by another man


That is indeed the "beef" of this "issue" and a very central one to most of relastionships today and always!

Theoretically, one should feel pleasure for seeing someone one really cares about being pleased, irrespective of whether it is him/her or someone else who is doing the pleasing!

But how many men and women feel confident that their SOs are with them because of pleasure and not because of need or some other reason (protection, safety)? THAT IS a CENTRAL issue in all matters related to dating, sex, marriage, LTRs, etc, today and in 2007 BC and always.

Does one want to be the one providing a) the safety or b) the pleasure?
THAT is also a key underlying dilemma. Cuts to the bone of rels!

Full gender equality may solve this dilemma, or it may not. We shall see!

-----------------------------------

"hate to burst your bubble OP
but this girl is not with you because she wants you forever, she is just sexually experimenting"

I hate to burst all peoples' bubble, but we are all here on this Earth for a few decades and NOT FOREVER, thus we might as well "experiment" in giving and receiving REAL pleasure and REAL caring and not seek "ownership" (with or w/o STIs as an excuse/unique "selling" proposition).

Most wars are about ownership of some kind.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Should I let my girlfriend bang my friend?