| is it vanity or lack of self believe
Posted: 7/26/2007 10:48:03 AM | i have had a skin complaint for around 5 months now and it is on my chin it can seem to be clearing up then i have a shave and bam it flares up again and looks really horrible, at times when i have met someone from off the net it can look just like a little shaving nick and other times frankenstein would have more chance in my eyes and i feel very self concious about it, i have had two courses of anti biotics[spelling] and am now trying some steroid cream of which if it does not clear up i have to go see a skin specialist
in the last few weeks it has gotton worse and i have decided not to try meet anybody off the net until i have got it sorted
so am i being vain or do i lack in self believe about myself as a person
what things would stop you from wanting to meet somebody and would you judge a person straight away if they did have a unsightly skin complaint
i would certainly be put off if i met someone like that | |
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| is it vanity or lack of self believe
Posted: 7/26/2007 10:52:11 AM | well i think its a bit of both.
But i feel for you, i had acne when i was in my early teens and tried alsorts of Tablets and creams. I didnt go out for many months let alone let a man come within eyeshot of me.
There is nothing wrong with being vain, its a case of wanting to look good for YOU. Your self esteme can let you down for alsorts of reasons, but if you have something that physcally shows then its goning to get you down more so your vainness will become move obvious.
Good luck, its not easy. I know!! | |
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| is it vanity or lack of self believe
Posted: 7/26/2007 10:52:50 AM | I certainly wouldn't be put off seeing anyone in the same circumstances as you. You've recognised you have a complaint and are doing something about it - good on ya
I feel you're lacking in self belief - a low self esteem due to your complaint . Obviously others have judged you in the past am I right in saying so ? Shallow people really piss me off
Keep up with the treatments - I hope you have some success soon.
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| is it vanity or lack of self believe
Posted: 7/26/2007 11:06:57 AM | I think we are all self-concious about something, people worry about not being good enough in the eyes of others all the time, which is a shame.
There's countless things about the way I look that I feel very concious of and sometimes I am completely bowled over by the level of interest in me that is engendered by simply viewing photographs and talking to me, because believing I am attractive is very difficult and I would definitely be very shy about meeting someone for the first time but it can be worth it in the long run, if you push yourself forward.
Perhaps you should remember that the other person you are meeting is probably feeling just as self-concious....I wouldn't call feeling that way vanity either.
Admittedly though I would prefer the person I am meeting to look wholesome and healthy but a bit of acne or roscaea wouldn't put me off...psoriasis might present a problem as it looks quite raw and sore. If you give fair warning to you date and prepare her for you looking like a monster that might help.
Good luck !! | |
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| is it vanity or lack of self believe
Posted: 7/26/2007 11:07:37 AM | Obviously others have judged you in the past am I right in saying so ?
no t5he last person i met was around 4 or 5 week ago it did not look too bad at that time or else i would have cancelled it, my ex saw it a few weeks ago and she said that it is not as bad as i make it out to be, but when i look in the mirror i dont like this might seem vain but i have always had clear skin, so maybe i am judging it too hard at times but if i feel uncomfitable with it nevertheless
also i believe i may have got a foreigh object in it as i used to work at a engineering place and lots of metal scraps once got onto my face | |
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| is it vanity or lack of self believe
Posted: 7/26/2007 11:10:18 AM | sadly many people (including me in the PAST on occasions) cannot see beyond any kind of imperfection, be it temporary or a permanent one.
i suffered with acne from age11 through to my early 30's! its cleared up alot now although i do still spots at certain times of the month. In the past when this happend it certainly put me off meeting anyone, whether it was a new aquaintance or someone ive known all my life, i always got that sense of feeling, the person was talking to my imperfection(s) not me, as they always seemed to home in on that. lol.
Now i dont care, if people can't see beyond the problem, then move along, i am what i am, i cannot change my hormones and im not going to make matters worse by caking make-up over it, which usually makes the damn thing look worse, not hide it!
i feel it may be abit of both, vanity and lack of self belief, thats how i always felt anyway. You have to accept these things happen in life, and more often than not they will go away sooner or later, accept them as part of you, and that confidence will shine through, drawing the attention away from the imperfection (s).
Lifes too short to fret over sumit like this, theres plenty more people in the world worse afflicted. | |
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| is it vanity or lack of self believe
Posted: 7/26/2007 11:22:06 AM | I dont think its vain, but I suppose it can knock your self confidence a bit especially as its on your face..
How many times has someone had a small spot on their face and felt it was the size of a small hill..And no matter how hard you try to cover it, you always seem to feel you have made it more obvious.. | |
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| is it vanity or lack of self believe
Posted: 7/26/2007 11:53:03 AM | I can relate to what you are saying, I don't honestly consider myself attractive at all but I try to make an effort like going for a night out with friends example (but which seems artificial as you are all spruced up to impress and not your natural daily self). I went through a confidence sapping phase when I had acne in my teens and could never look at myself in the mirror and I used to bunk off school because I just felt so god damn hideous. Fortunately I don't suffer acne hardly anymore, only minor shaving nicks and rashes under my chin but still nowadays I analyse my face quite closely and tend to frown in disgust when I see a mole(s), plus I got a couple of smallish chicken pox scars on my forehead which just make my visual appearance look rough and rugged. I definately perceive my visual self differently to what other pe0ple see, as most people do surely?
I wouldn't let it worry you excessively and let your facial appearance hinder you from socialising and dating but if it does worry you daily, then you are doing the right thing for yourself to sort it out.
We do live in a society which is very image conscious nowadays because of TV, Internet, Films, magazines etc and there's a lot of external pressures from these mediums to look "good" to be "happy". I wish I could say "BOLLOX" to vanity... but I struggle to adopt that attitude. | |
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| is it vanity or lack of self believe
Posted: 7/26/2007 11:58:10 AM | well,i aint the best lookin on this site,close,but not quite,i do suffer from smelly feet syntrom,i dont know if its wether i tighten my shoe laces to tight,in fear of bein shoe robbed,,ive heard of it,it does happen,althought rare.but yes my boots stink. | |
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| is it vanity or lack of self believe
Posted: 7/26/2007 12:55:28 PM | Of course, the other problem is that stressing about it will probably exacerbate any reaction... So it could be partly psychosomatic.
I have to wonder what metals you're talking about? Steel doesn't tend to be cause things like that, but there's plenty of others that can; there's also the possibility of being sensitised to e.g. cutting lubes & the likes. | |
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| is it vanity or lack of self believe
Posted: 7/26/2007 1:09:57 PM | Everyone suffers from lack of self belief it is how you deal with it that defines you.
I try as hard as possible to push it to one side and go on with my life.
If someone is put off by a small blemish then it is their problem not yours if they cannot see beyond it.
Thats if the blemish is a pronounced as you think it is, most people most probably don't even notice it.
It's not vanity to make the best of what you have it is self respect.
Only an idea but if it's caused by shaving grow a goatee ? or try different shaving gel/foam or a different type of razor.
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| is it vanity or lack of self believe
Posted: 7/26/2007 1:44:57 PM | without seeing it first i could not comment.... it does sound like a stress related skin rash rather than dermatitis......... pm and i will give you some advice on natural remedies for your condition ...................... | |
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| is it vanity or lack of self believe
Posted: 7/26/2007 2:37:46 PM |
because believing I am attractive is very difficult and I would definitely be very shy about meeting someone for the first time but it can be worth it in the long run, if you push yourself forward.
That just shows you how deceptive the net can be - you appear one of the most confident people here.
Like Proto says, we all have something we worry about and Im sure a rash such as you describe will not put the people who really want to know you off. | |
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| is it vanity or lack of self believe
Posted: 7/26/2007 3:09:44 PM | I can relate to you, I have a huge scar on my face...(Ok all rush and have a look LOL)
I was self concious for years but now as I know I cannot do anything to make it disappear...It was only recently I was made really aware of it when a young girl asked me why I had a huge scar...
If people notice it then they dont say anything to me...usually..
I know you feel uncomfortable with your problem but just think you can treat yours and it may clear up...thats a good thing...
If anyone has issues with the way you look then they are not worth knowing.. | |
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| is it vanity or lack of self believe
Posted: 7/26/2007 3:30:24 PM | You'd need to see a psychologist to work out whether it was "vanity or self belief"
But!!!  The good news is...& can give you a cure anyhoo, & I'll bet you £20 if you did it for 6 weeks it will work & rash will be gone for good...
Cut out all your dairy products...it sounds like it could be seborrheic dermatitis, I had the same & steriods wouldn't even clear it up. For a few years I had a scaly itchy sore goaty 
Human livers can't cope with cows milk etc...& one of the ways to tell your liver is overloaded is by skin complaints.
Give it a go, what have you got to lose...trust me, I'm scouse | |
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| is it vanity or lack of self believe
Posted: 7/26/2007 3:54:23 PM | I don't want to brag and sound like an idealist brat
It's not as easy as it seems
I am self aware to an extent, yet confident about the way I look/dress enough cause simply I don't want to try harder... I'm OK, and life's not about charming everyone you meet
(disgusting concept fed by digusting TV adverts)
HOWEVER I've got a good reason for that: I never had and do not have any of the conditions that others suffered from... i.e. never been there so cannae brag aboot tha'
NEVERTHELESS
I once went out on a pronlonged date. The lady's first words were commenting on a couple of grey hairs I had. An hour later about how tall I was (an inch less than her standard).
Then about how I dressed (and I do dress better than most of them desperate nonconfident women trying to fit their figure in barbie's glittery clothes)
Then about what I eat... and how I smiled (she said I smile in a way that will gurantee me wrinkles as fast as a snap)
Then about my tummy: a tummy of an athlete... she clearly said I don't have a six pack
MORAL of the STORY
You are highly likely to end up with a total bi.tch... you'd never know that until you see each other cause sweet talk over the net can deceive even the most intelligent of the species..... and picking up on you hurts
I say... work on it mate, is nae easy, however try to break the barrier by going out with friends... etc. to get comfortable with folk looking at you, cause this is the only way you can take it easy on yourself... step by step maybe | |
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