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 Miss_stevie_G
Joined: 3/30/2006
Msg: 1
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how long before you tell someone you love them?Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
ok i did a thread search and came up with nothing

i know the begining of a relationship can be intense, your finding out about each other and you want to spend loads of time with them, you enjoy thier company etc.

so say someone told you they loved you in the first weeks of the relationship, would you think that was odd? Or would you be flattered, taking into account you are really enjoying being with them?

do you let your heart do the talking or listen to your head and say hey, hold on a minute, whats going on? Or just say aww thats nice.

and i`m talking if you really like that person and they feel the same, enjoying being with you ect.

or would you hold off for a couple of months or so......?
 ste_13
Joined: 6/3/2007
Msg: 2
how long before you tell someone you love them?
Posted: 7/27/2007 3:20:24 AM
anybody can say it, words are easy. Its the emotions people should be examing in more detail. i do think people say it too much. i wouldn't put a time limit on wether i feel that emotion, that would just be navie and silly for anybody to do that.

people come out with it when the time is right

 Blueskies123
Joined: 11/3/2006
Msg: 3
how long before you tell someone you love them?
Posted: 7/27/2007 3:22:17 AM
It has been known to scare me off if it's far too early - like in the first week or something.
I do admit to never having said it before the guy does either - not through wanting to wait - just through not feeling it.

One guy said it to me after three weeks and you could see from the look on his face that it kind of blurted out..bless him!
My reply to him at the time (cos I did like him a lot) was that I wasn't quite there yet but that I was 'in like' and 'in lust' with him and would that do for now?
He was happy enough with that - I could tell by the big cheeky grin on his face!

I let the heart do the talking - I wouldn't feel right saying it if I didn't feel it.
 Miss_stevie_G
Joined: 3/30/2006
Msg: 4
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how long before you tell someone you love them?
Posted: 7/27/2007 3:23:52 AM
i know what your saying , if it feels right say it, if you mean it, i have been infatuated with people in the past but only really in love once, and that was a bit quick even for me

i guess you just know it

 The_Popinjay
Joined: 3/2/2007
Msg: 5
how long before you tell someone you love them?
Posted: 7/27/2007 3:25:10 AM
To many people misjudge lust and want/need for love.

I just make sure I'm definite and its not my trouser soldier trying to hard.

Love at first sight, dunno, never had it so would wait a few months probably to make sure its real.
 ~~Snarf~~
Joined: 7/10/2007
Msg: 6
how long before you tell someone you love them?
Posted: 7/27/2007 3:27:58 AM
Those three words get used to much,

I think it should be used at special moments that come along................if you use it all the time,it becomes superficial and loses its true meaning and depth.

I am weary of those 3 words if im being entirely honest
 ClockworkMonkey
Joined: 6/28/2007
Msg: 7
how long before you tell someone you love them?
Posted: 7/27/2007 3:33:37 AM
My son's girlfriend thought she was lucky when, at the end of every phone call, he says love you loads missin you too ....... until she overheard him to his mobile phone contractor ... where he said exactly the same
 mike bradly
Joined: 11/26/2006
Msg: 8
how long before you tell someone you love them?
Posted: 7/27/2007 3:37:19 AM
Perhaps the use of the word should be banned?
You should only be allowed to show how you feel by your actions, and thats not so easy to lie with.
 *FoxyMoron*
Joined: 1/28/2007
Msg: 9
how long before you tell someone you love them?
Posted: 7/27/2007 3:39:41 AM
ohhh about 36 years should suffice.. Dont rush in and all that malarkey, keep your feelings to yourself, bottle them up until one day they explode in a kind of emotional mount vesuvius.
I dont have anyone to say it to apart from my family... I might ring me dad up and tell him actually as i just got me berfday card off of him and it has money in it.. but then he will tell me off for opening it a few days early.. hmm best not
 nuttytartyme
Joined: 5/25/2006
Msg: 10
how long before you tell someone you love them?
Posted: 7/27/2007 5:17:06 AM
I dont think theres a time limit, its when it feels right (mushy cow arent i!) but i dont think they should be used whenever, just when it seriously feels right
 midlandstaurus33
Joined: 4/30/2006
Msg: 11
how long before you tell someone you love them?
Posted: 7/27/2007 5:31:11 AM
I love you is easy to say without full meaning. It's something i do find hard to say actually, because of how loosely others say it.
I prefer to actually show it, but i'm not saying i don't say it, just takes time for me to. But, look at how quickly people who have success stories on sites have said it, doesn't take them long does it. It's because they have found the right person and connected. There's no wrong or right time, it's just when both parties feel the same feelings, and not feel freaked out by it.
 Laine07
Joined: 5/1/2007
Msg: 12
how long before you tell someone you love them?
Posted: 7/27/2007 6:07:19 AM
do you mean "you love them" or do you mean "you're IN love with them"

i love lots and lots of people, but i believe you can only be IN love with one person.

i have put what im about to say on another thread so forgive me.

i would rather tell someone i love them so that they know, than have them leave without knowing.

to be IN love with someone is entirely different. it means you will forsake all others. that your actions of love with show more than the words ever will, but are said as a reminder.
 *Demeter*
Joined: 12/4/2006
Msg: 13
how long before you tell someone you love them?
Posted: 7/27/2007 6:10:15 AM
It doesn't matter how soon or how late you leave it before telling someone you love them........don't ever do it !!

Because as soon as you declare your love, the person you love starts taking the pi$$....now that they know they are loved they think they can be loved just as much by every girl in the world and they start to put themselves about a lot more, it's a terrible thing to see.

So it's natural that you question them about why they are spending less time with you and making zero effort, the stock answer to that from people who you've told that you love 'em, is to reply "you don't love me if you loved me you would never doubt me"

I like to tell the ones I love that I hate them...it keeps them on their toes and they behave a lot better.
 *Goodgirlgonebad*
Joined: 6/18/2007
Msg: 14
how long before you tell someone you love them?
Posted: 7/27/2007 6:12:31 AM
I love you has the same amount of letters as bullshit.......... funny that eh !!

I'm with snarf on this one............ those three lil' words soon become nothin if thrown around willy nilly.

It easy to say it even harder to mean it.

I don't think you can put a time scale on it its one of them things that just happens but if sum1 said it too me in short space of time im offskies !!
 kisseylips
Joined: 9/24/2005
Msg: 15
how long before you tell someone you love them?
Posted: 7/27/2007 6:14:44 AM
Mmmm well i havent said I love you to anyone in a long time apart from my family that is. If someone said it to me after 2 or 3 weeks i would be very wary i have to say.

I believe in a well known saying though and that is 'Actions speak louder than words' anyone can say it but not necessarily mean it whereas its the little things that someone does that really shows their feelings for you (or not as the case may be) lol
 PromiscuousGirl30
Joined: 6/20/2007
Msg: 16
how long before you tell someone you love them?
Posted: 7/27/2007 6:22:44 AM
i have always waited for the guy to say those words to me before i have said them back just my way of making sure i guess

i do think they are used far too easily though with some people and they dont quite "get it"

not sure though if there is a time limit on it, and if it would ever scare me off, i supose it all depends on how i feel about the guy
 DeborahAnne
Joined: 7/9/2007
Msg: 17
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how long before you tell someone you love them?
Posted: 7/27/2007 6:24:21 AM
Well, I think as you get older and life seems to throw nothing but c...p at you cynicism takes over, here speaks the voice of experience!! I recently started to correspond with a guy about music, which is my passion and within a week of emailing he was declaring undying love. Spooky I thought and ran a mile, no doubt he is saying it to someone else already. Sincerity is everything, that certain look that passes between two people and the fact that you know what each other is thinking, that's special.
 Bye Bye Blackbird
Joined: 9/6/2006
Msg: 18
how long before you tell someone you love them?
Posted: 7/27/2007 6:34:57 AM
Keep schtum I reckon.

I've learned the hard way that being 'open and honest' with those particular sentiments is a very bad thing!

Make sure they tell you first, preferably when they're sober and not in any chemically induced 'happy place.'

If they're on the verge of coming, they probably don't mean it.

Wild horses wouldn't drag it from me first now.
 Silver Surfer
Joined: 10/30/2006
Msg: 19
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how long before you tell someone you love them?
Posted: 7/27/2007 6:43:06 AM
How long has nothing to do with it.... you tell a person you love them when you actually do!!!!! In fact it's very hard to hold it back if it's true.

It's not something to be just said for affect. There is no point in that! It won't mean anything. At least nothing real.
 IDaveI
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 20
how long before you tell someone you love them?
Posted: 7/27/2007 6:43:59 AM
have you guys not read the dating rule book?
On telling someone you love them its clear on page 23 its the 72nd date or the 9th month and if there is an eclipse on either you can add a little something like.. and i would do anything i could to make you happy or some such..

Is there actually a specific time?
I hear guys that say,
'from the moment i saw her i knew that was the girl i was going to marry..'
I do not hear guys saying
'and i told her that as an opening line.. '

If it is meant with sincerity they are very powerful words and should not be used without caution, until you have that sincerity other phrases can substitute nicely,
'you look beautiful/stunning etc'
You make me so happy
WOW

I would say you would have to be pretty sure you knew that person before uttering those words, also saying them and SAYING them can be very different.
I dont think it is something you can plan, if the feelings are there they are not manufactured, so dont manufacture the moment..
 skye_bee
Joined: 10/9/2006
Msg: 21
how long before you tell someone you love them?
Posted: 7/27/2007 8:42:42 AM
^^^^^^^ I love you !!!!

What you just said makes a whole world of sense, I just wish you had known my ex and explained the 'rules' to him, being female and knowing the 'rules' and having a boyfriend who didnt was hard, but at least now I know 1 guy who can make a girl feel good without those 3 words that mean far too much to some people and not enough to the other.
 c-dlad
Joined: 7/22/2007
Msg: 22
how long before you tell someone you love them?
Posted: 7/27/2007 8:54:13 AM
theres only 1 appropriate time to tell someone you love them, and thats when you are absolutely 100% sure you do, and not confuse it with "the honeymoon period" or lust or infatuation or arousal.

ive found recently after a split up that you can be wit someone for 18months and still not feel as bad was when you break up with someone after only 1 month, its how you felt about the person not how long you were with them that matters .
 DoctorZuess
Joined: 6/14/2007
Msg: 23
how long before you tell someone you love them?
Posted: 7/27/2007 9:16:29 AM
love is a word that can never be uttered by me again.
Its no longer welcome in my vocabulary.
I'll never speak that word again.

*is scared / scarred

women only want to be loved , until you actually love them , and are in love with the idea of being in love , but once a bloke caves in and says he loves her , he's history....no challenge.....onto the next one , just like in eastenders lol

It makes me laugh when i read profiles that say " wheres my prince ? " and " come rescue me ! " , cos i know that if you turned up and declared your love for them , they would find some excuse to give you the brush-off.
Love is a load of sh1t that only exists on TV and in mills and boons crappy novels lol
 -Hams-
Joined: 10/30/2006
Msg: 24
how long before you tell someone you love them?
Posted: 7/27/2007 9:23:00 AM
Sometimes you need to love yourself first before you can love anyone else...

It dose amuse me when people say there in love and have never even met!!
 Heavennhell
Joined: 11/28/2006
Msg: 25
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how long before you tell someone you love them?
Posted: 7/27/2007 9:24:17 AM
surely you say it when you feel it?

best not say it because its expected though or at the moment of errr excitement!

Sure someone else most probably said the same thing but i am to lazy to read thru all the responses...
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