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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!      Home login  
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 Girlflower
Joined: 3/12/2007
Msg: 1
Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!Page 1 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
Have you been alone long enough you think you are becoming a born again Virgin? Has the old ugly nice girl/guy syndrome kept you from allowing yourself the pleasure of being ...physical /love making?

The reason I ask is my neighbor male friend told me the other day I needed to get out and just get some.. Just the th ought of "JUST Getting Sex"... not making love made my stomach turn.... I've never been considered a loose woman.... so.. I wait until I meet someone I feel something for, awakens my passion... and those waits can be a very long time... It's not that I haven't had offers or desires it's.... I just don't have the desire to hop in bed with just anyone just for sex....

If sex is the only goal.. how many of you would prefer just to remain with the status quo????? Than to use or be used by someone....?
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 2
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Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 7/28/2007 7:57:55 AM
The problem as I see it with "just getting sex" is that I haven't seen anybody in years that I would want to have sex with

No seriously! All the single men I meet that are my age I am either not attracted to, or the have an alcohol problem or something equivilent. I would rather wait for a decent man than just get sex. Flame me if you want, but "just getting sex" isn't for me
 Girlflower
Joined: 3/12/2007
Msg: 3
Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 7/28/2007 8:07:10 AM
moriama.. I hear so many tales about women who meet a man for coffee and complain when leaving.. well aren't we going to....? And men who say the same thing to women... It hasn't happened to me but I believe there are folks out there who are acting like that...
I've been wondering if it's jsut me being out of the loop...

Thanks for validating my feeling that not Just getting Sex is an alright feeling in this day and age of anything goes...
 Tramp
Joined: 2/8/2007
Msg: 4
Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 7/28/2007 9:24:19 AM
No, I will not let it happen.
I did it in my teens, need to make up. Do not want to deny myself of the immense pleasure sex is. We all talk about intimacy, feelings, love..... The best intimacy is had with sex, at least for me.
You can talk a storm to me, at the end of the day the words will be gone, give me a tight hug; I'll be grateful to you for ever.
I do not mean to just go out and get laid, with someone we really like why not.

Invite the neighbor over for dinner.
 Girlflower
Joined: 3/12/2007
Msg: 5
Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 7/28/2007 9:38:16 AM
I'm just not into him in that way.. no passionate feelings.. and if we ever did that it most likely would mess up the best friendship I've had in a long time... so I let him use my computer to check out the girls.. and to hunt for penpals in womens jail.... hahahahahaha.. even his sisters have tried to start something up with us.. and his brother too... No Way Jose' as we say in Floreeeeda! He just loves me for the abuse I dish out.... lol!!!! and the free dog boarding.... anyway we share a meal (usually leftovers all the time..don't have to sleep with someone to share a meal! )

Its been several months since I even met someone who made my mind go... aaaah maybe hum would be nice...... but they didn't stick around long enough to see, since there is a wanton woman willing to jump their bones the moment they meet! As for physical contact.. my first gesture when meeting a date is to hug him and give him a kiss hello on the face.... ! It's a great way to break the ice when meeting...And I hug thank you after the date... so I'm not shoving people away.. I do show that I am affectionate.. will hold hands etc... just not ready willing and available to hop into the sack immediately with a guy..

References available upon request....
 Tramp
Joined: 2/8/2007
Msg: 6
Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 7/28/2007 9:45:48 AM
Yes, yes, not too soon.
So you hug the first time? Good.
(Neighbor, just kidding).
Hey, I want to see the whole thing(picture).
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 7
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Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 7/28/2007 9:46:18 AM
..Oh I hope I don't come off sounding holier than thou but before I would even consider having sex with someone I would have to feel some sort of emotional attachment. I joke around in the forums a lot but if truth be known, I'm a pretty tame lady. My morals and upbringing would not permit me to have casual sex with just anyone. He11, I could probably count on one hand the people I have been intimate with over the years and still have some left over. Please understand, I am not judging anyone... but for me that would be stepping out of my comfort zone.


...maeflowers
 Frolicking~in~Oregon
Joined: 5/23/2007
Msg: 8
Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 7/28/2007 10:06:51 AM
There's a joke about how every woman has the right to reclaim her virginity if she needs to. But that's not what this is about.

Using. That word, the definition. If done in a respectful way, agreed upon, so be it for some. Not for me. For me it doesn't fulfill an emotional level, just a physical one. I don't go to the mindset of "being the good girl". I think to each their own.

I don't think I can really even call it making love unless there really is love on some level with both people. There's not another nice way to say it though is there? That again is off topic.

As a person that loves sex, sensuality and all it's trappings, I find it very very hard to deal with all the sexual tension inside without an outlet other than self pleasure. (Though I do enjoy that ~ ) I've turned down some offers from nice looking young men because I don't believe there is really any way of knowing it could be respectful or frequent because that sort of knowledge only comes with getting to know someone. And I want to get to know someone, so those opportunities were nixed.

Some of the experiences of "just sex" occured in my own marriage. I don't think I'll go down that road again with someone new. If I do, I would consider myself weak. I know what the feeling of just sex feels like and it's not always a good one because it does take two mature people to do it right. I also know the wonderful feelings when it is done right. Either way, I've had my lifetime fill of it and not because it's been frequent. The thought of delving into doing it just for a few hours of physical pleasure without mental connection ~ I've come to the permanent conclusion that it's a waste of my spirit.

I don't need to be in love neccessarily. I want it to be caring, respectful, open-minded, honest and hot as all get out, this includes being mentally attracted to someone. With those prerequisites in place...well...that's the makings of a potential loving caring relationship.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 9
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Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 7/28/2007 11:22:47 AM
I always say something like "you need to know that I don't do casual sex before we meet for coffee". A few times men have asked me to go from meeting for coffee, to going to the cottage for the weekend. There will always be the person who thinks they are just to cute to resist
 IsleOfEwe2
Joined: 7/8/2007
Msg: 10
Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 7/28/2007 2:08:08 PM
Well I may be oldfashioned, but I won't have sex without a healthy emotional attachment. Unless you are a player or a jerk, having sex does create an emotional attachment that often is not healthy for one or both. Just look at the movies where actors and actresses play and act at having romance and get together in real life, only to have it eventually end because at its heart it was based upon a physical relationship. No, casual sex is too often a recipe for heartache for one or both.
 ankkka
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 11
Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 7/28/2007 2:15:48 PM
Nonsense...it is only state of celibacy..haha.
Celibacy,because of your choice or because of lack of any choice...heh.
Only one time you could be innocent...Virgin!!
 bayrab
Joined: 5/16/2007
Msg: 12
Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 7/28/2007 8:05:32 PM
hehehe, I call it being a revirgin, LOL
 claypot
Joined: 3/7/2006
Msg: 13
Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 7/29/2007 6:31:02 AM
I've heard, (and experienced) that after 7yrs it grows back.

So far in my life time, you could say I have been poped twice now. (hurts more the second time, lol) It's looking like I might be heading for the 3rd time. Dang at this rate, I will have my own orchard by the time I reach 80.

But it's all good I guess, it has taught me patiences and to choose wisely. I have no time for beginners, and although commication is good, I don't want to spend all my time in the sack explaining every move.

So right now, the flower is budding, surely I don't want to see the fruit ripen once again, but if it does, oh well..........
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 14
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Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 7/29/2007 8:27:50 AM

I've heard, (and experienced) that after 7yrs it grows back.



...I almost spit my coffee all over my keyboard when I read this...your a hoot, loves some of your responses....it grows back haha


...maeflowers
 Fireflyj5
Joined: 6/10/2007
Msg: 15
Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 7/29/2007 9:30:30 AM
OP ...I feel like you do also...I won't "Do it" with just anyone,just for sake of "I Need It" and because of that it has been a very longgggggggg time...lol ..but when the time comes and I have someone special to give that part of me to agian...They better watch out..
 Girlflower
Joined: 3/12/2007
Msg: 16
Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 7/29/2007 9:35:57 AM
fireflyj5.... and he will be sooooooo gratefulllllllllllll!!!!!!!! lucky dude!!!!!

Just because there is snow on the roof doesn't mean the fire's out in the cellar!!!!
 nevenante
Joined: 3/25/2007
Msg: 17
Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 7/29/2007 9:54:49 AM
Yes... that is the impression I got from some women I was attracted to so I removed the snow from the roof
 julysunshine
Joined: 7/18/2007
Msg: 18
Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 7/29/2007 9:59:17 AM
I would prefer to have some type of emotional attachment to a man I have sex with. My friends all tell me I have been too long without it. Sleeping around was not my style when I was young, and now that I am divorced I feel the same way. Some of my guy friends say just go out and get some. but what would be the point? I haven't had sex in over 3 years. And when I did it was because I felt the other person was special. So maybe I am going for the worlds record . But as you said, sex without love is just that, sex.
 Girlflower
Joined: 3/12/2007
Msg: 19
Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 7/29/2007 12:00:59 PM
Got you beat by 4 more years..... life was just zipping by..... no wonder my friends started calling me Camel!
 immaj
Joined: 7/8/2007
Msg: 20
Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 7/29/2007 12:09:23 PM
I have you both beat, put together in fact! It was 18 years for me and now I am asking myself "Why did I waste all that time!!!!"
 darkcity
Joined: 5/24/2007
Msg: 21
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Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 7/29/2007 12:27:58 PM
OP;
I'd rather wait to find someone who would be interested in me first as a person than just a convenient appendage. I know that sounds old fashioned, but I was with one woman for twenty years and was never unfaithful.

Sex would be easy to get for me. I work in a business where there are plenty of available women, but I'm not really looking for one right now. I've waited this long (more than 2 years), I can wait longer.
 Just a Sweetie
Joined: 6/14/2007
Msg: 22
Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 7/29/2007 12:28:36 PM
Firefly I agree with you 100% ..I want to hear ALL the bells and whistles and I'm not willing to settle for anything less just to have a roll in the hay...not worth it! No way will this sweetie settle for less...and isn't amazing the hits we 'mature' ladies get from babies out there...omg!
 Mother trucker
Joined: 4/6/2006
Msg: 23
Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 7/29/2007 7:35:02 PM
So far in my life time, you could say I have been poped twice now.
<div class="quote">(hurts more the second time, lol) It's looking like I might be heading for the 3rd time. Dang at this rate, I will have my own orchard by the time I reach 80.

I just about laughed myself silly when I read this one.

When I was first 'single' again I had a few flings but it has been very long for me also....figure the moss is starting to grow now.....
 LQQK`N41MANONLY
Joined: 7/9/2007
Msg: 24
Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 7/29/2007 7:57:37 PM

Have you been alone long enough you think you are becoming a born again Virgin?



gurl.. i don`t think it.. i know it!.. ..



Has the old ugly nice girl/guy syndrome kept you from allowing yourself the pleasure of being ...physical /love making?




nope.. my job has.. .. gotta love nursing.. ..
 MacKevinized
Joined: 2/15/2006
Msg: 25
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Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 7/29/2007 8:21:13 PM
Redefining virginity cause you've been alone too long? Hmmmm, I wonder if the reason women are measured as communicating more is that in redefining terms it's more difficult to insure accuracy.....

If you ever got laid, you're virginity is gone.

Spouting about sex again eh? I think by talking about the conditions you would not find 'sexy' over and over again you are actually talking about sex more than the 'disgusting' types you disapprove of.

Maybe by paying attention to subjects other than sex of self promotion you could actually display an interest other than talking/thinking about one thing.

Though the neighbor's suggestion to just get 'some' could be crass and tasteless, what is it he thought it might fix?
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