| Should I Avoid Messaging Professional Women/Women That Make More Money Than I?
Posted: 8/1/2007 8:52:56 PM | As some of you may know, I work in a blue-collar job. I make a decent living, but not a whole lot of money. However, it's pretty much a dead-end job, and I am trying to get out of there.
I have never been wealthy nor was I born into a wealthy family. I did attend college, but didn't finish. In fact, I'm making more money than I ever have.
That being said, should I not message a woman who is, say a corporate trainer or a research analyst, or a person with some other fancy title?
The reason why I ask is because it doesn't seem as if women like that want to date someone in my position. They seem to want men who are at their level or higher in terms of income and job prestige. Therefore, it seems like a waste of time for me to even try to contact them.
It's not a huge deal to me. I tend to prefer women and people in general who are bohemian and free-spirited and aren't too concerned with trying to climb the corporate ladder. I'd rather write a great novel or create an iconic comics character or help create an influential album than say become a CEO or an attorney. But at the same time, I want to be with someone who cares more about me than my accomplishments or lack thereof. :)
Plus if you knew my politics, you'd know how I feel about that scene. :) I'm more Chomsky than Friedman.
But on the other hand, I don't want to stereotype or assume anything about people.
Maybe it's insecurity? Maybe I feel as if people like that, male or female, look down on folks like me? Am I wrong? | |
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| Should I Avoid Messaging Professional Women/Women That Make More Money Than I?
Posted: 8/1/2007 9:00:01 PM | well I think you answered your own question........
I think white collar types look at blue collar as grunts/workers.
if you want a white collar chick for a night...
just make her believe you are 'big in the pants'
you know
walk bowlegged and use words like thick and girthy to explain most everyday things
she will come around
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| Should I Avoid Messaging Professional Women/Women That Make More Money Than I?
Posted: 8/1/2007 10:53:00 PM | My friend, the word professional is an adjective that goes in front of the noun woman. The word professional does not stop a woman from being a woman, and blue collar is an adjective. It is not you. Why think it defines you? Have confidence. There are some white collar women who would not be interested but some who would love it in the same vein as that song with Billy Joel called "Uptown Girl". One thing you definitely would be in their mind is boring. Think of it....
You didn't finish college? Well, neither did Bill Gates. Go after the women you want and have the strength to accept rejection and acceptance when necessary.
Go for it! Anyway, do you want to limit your dating pool? There are plenty of professional woman who want a good man and your profession doesn't make you good or bad. | |
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| Should I Avoid Messaging Professional Women/Women That Make More Money Than I?
Posted: 8/2/2007 3:32:36 AM | | Women are looking for someone who is compatable. If you are not more than what you do, then yes, I would say you should avoid contacting them; however, if you are not defined by the job you do, I don't know why you should not consider trying to meet with this type of woman if you feel you may have other commonalities. Don't just be looking at the job she does-- read her profile and see if the two of you have other interests in common. Try to think about how you might spend time together, and what you might talk about. If it feels awkward...avoid it | |
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| Should I Avoid Messaging Professional Women/Women That Make More Money Than I?
Posted: 8/2/2007 4:01:21 AM | | This seems to be an issue for you, if you go into a situation with this sort of assumption, you are doomed to fail. I have found that many men are intimated by the fact that I make more money than they do. I think first you need to get comfortable with yourself, stop looking at the finances and the titles and start looking at the person, you may just be surprised how many professional women are looking for a nice guy instead of an additional income. | |
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| Should I Avoid Messaging Professional Women/Women That Make More Money Than I?
Posted: 8/2/2007 7:26:34 AM | Hea Warrior, just read your question-i just spent 2 weeks , 2x a day up to 2pages with most of our correspondenses, emailing with a 'blue'collar man, mine is a little on the white side, and as we progressed with our back and forth , I could sense he felt some insecurity about his 'job' not being the highest ranked job out there. We had so much in common, music, camping, wrote about having sunrise breakfasts , etc. Again, i could feel the tug of war, he would pull back and forth, but i let him know that i don't care what he does for work- we are not our job, right?
I am sooo saddened, he gave me his phone number, but after I left 2 voice mails, and my number, he hasn't called, and it is going on week #2. I really feel it is all about this 'insecurity' cloud looming over...we missed out on something that could have been pretty neat, that is my thinking, we have a heart too you know! | |
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| Should I Avoid Messaging Professional Women/Women That Make More Money Than I?
Posted: 8/2/2007 7:27:21 AM | I've found it's the men who are more likely to have the problem with it than the women. I think you're not alone in thinking that white collar women look down on blue collar men. I actually know a few who wouldn't consider dating one. But the majority of the women I know don't care.
The big thing to most of us is that you live within your means, that you're not saddled with debt, that you pay your bills on time, and that you're saving for your future.
But nothing ventured, nothing gained Op. If you can get past the idea that she would look down on you, you'll find a woman just like any other. Afterall, if she agrees to chat/meet you, it's obvious she doesn' t care. | |
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| Should I Avoid Messaging Professional Women/Women That Make More Money Than I?
Posted: 8/2/2007 7:28:46 AM | | I've been in the same situation and on a personal level there were no problems. What bothered me was having to pay for everything although I had far less income. I know this isn't the exact topic here but it sure is part of it. How do other guys feel about the cultural expectation that it is the man who pays. | |
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| Should I Avoid Messaging Professional Women/Women That Make More Money Than I?
Posted: 8/2/2007 7:34:04 AM | Message her! The world is changing for the better, and many women are out there climbing the corporate ladder in what used to be a man's world. Traditional gender rols are changing too. I think we are not far away from a situation where it does not matter who the primary breadwinner in the family is.
I think many professional women who wan't children may even be LOOKING for a man who may be in a better position to care for children than they are. This means men with flexible schedules, men who are teachers or professors, and men who may even go as far as to let her bring home the bacon while they stay home raising kids.
Children will always be both spouses responsibility but it is always nice when the couple has the luxury of a caregiver who can stay at home. I read somewhere that you need to be making a minimum of $40,000 a year to BREAK EVEN if you have to pay for daycare. This is BREAK EVEN only. Factor in the fact that you'd have the pleasure of raising your kids first hadn and all the advantages this will bring to your relatship with tehm and the extra learning they get and the choice seems pretty obvious.
Me I'm on my way to becoming a University professor and I'll easily be clearing six figures, plus I will ahev a flexible schedule for child care and summers off so I really have the best of all worlds. But If I was blue collar and my wife was a busy Investment Banker I would have the confidence to stay home with the kids and loev every minute of it.
Chris | |
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| Should I Avoid Messaging Professional Women/Women That Make More Money Than I?
Posted: 8/2/2007 7:34:11 AM | No u should feel free to message whomever u please if they r small minded they will let u go and if they r a true human being they will give u a chance like any other man because if they think their better than u because of $ u dont want em n e way but please dont pass up on a chance to meet a wonderful and perhaps powerful woman who may someday LOVE u because of $ afta all the Lord knew who u were gonna end up with b4 u even got here so who r we to say
kathi | |
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| Should I Avoid Messaging Professional Women/Women That Make More Money Than I?
Posted: 8/2/2007 10:41:27 AM | | I was just thinking that when Margaret Thatcher was prime minister of England she probably earned more money than her husband, was the most powerful person in England, essentially, and he was her loving husband. Even if a man went with a blue collar woman, she could end up inventing some great thing and making millions, would he then no longer be good enough? Are we just what we do at work? | |
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| Should I Avoid Messaging Professional Women/Women That Make More Money Than I?
Posted: 8/2/2007 12:58:24 PM | Some of the most successful guys I've known have been the ones who were completely happy where they were and didn't give a d*mn what the woman did with her days, just as long as she spent the evening(s) with him. Women love those type of men, for at least a day.
Keep a woman smiling, help her with things that matter, and let her do the things she can for you. Money doesn't matter unless you don't have any. I've dated women with more money than me and women who had no income at all. I was dating her, not her purse, and they all felt the same.
What you're doin, I think, and I may be wrong, is assumin all women are gold diggers. If that's true, how come so many RN's I know are married to unemployed equipment operators?
If you're insecure about what you do for a living, go back to college and get some money comin in. That way, you can make it no matter who you bring in on your little world.
On a side note:
A career in the arts is a beautiful thing, for those who don't end up bankrupt and crazy. Most Rennaissance artists were beggars to the de Medicis or the Pope. Know any rich people you'd like to flatter, or are you just that d*mn talented?
I'd rather sit around and visit with friends or play on the tractor all day without worryin about money... but that house and those trucks ain't gonna pay for themselves, and I like to get out of town once in a while.
"Dreams are given to you when you're young enough to dream em
Before they do you any harm.
They don't start to hurt unless you try to hold on to em
After seein what they really are."
So I work my a*s off in school, buildin houses and pottin plants in a nursery until I can land a state job. One day I can sit around and visit with friends or play on a tractor all day with a pension comin in.
Forgive me for bein rude. | |
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| Should I Avoid Messaging Professional Women/Women That Make More Money Than I?
Posted: 8/2/2007 1:17:54 PM | Go for it. You won't know if your blue collar job matters until you try. If she's not interested in you because you don't make enough $$$ then you're better off without the gold digger anyway. The mistake you're making here is that you're over thinking the process. Just talk to her, and if she is superficial then move on. She's just another fish. If she thinks she is too good for you, then she isn't good enough for you. Simple  | |
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| Should I Avoid Messaging Professional Women/Women That Make More Money Than I?
Posted: 8/2/2007 1:23:19 PM |
If you feel insecure about it, then you should not do it.
Yeah, men aren't supposed to have feelings or insecurities of any kind. All you're allowed to have is confidence! You've been "caught red handed showing feelings. Showing feelings of an almost human nature! This will not do..."   | |
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| Should I Avoid Messaging Professional Women/Women That Make More Money Than I?
Posted: 8/2/2007 2:40:37 PM |
Yeah, men aren't supposed to have feelings or insecurities of any kind. All you're allowed to have is confidence!
All people are sayin is that if he thinks it might be a big deal now, wait till he's face to face and gettin angry that she hasn't paid for anything even though she makes more than him. Or lettin her pay for everything and feelin guilty.
On a long enough timeline, if one has a penis and is insecure about anything involvin feelings, he will screw it up miserably. | |
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| Should I Avoid Messaging Professional Women/Women That Make More Money Than I?
Posted: 8/2/2007 6:00:00 PM |
Yeah, I'd have to say that more often it's the guy that has a problem making less money/being lower on the ladder than a woman than a woman does with her man being lower. And it sounds like you'd let it bother you, so don't e-mail her.
Please don't get me wrong. I consider myself a feminist. I would have no problem dating someone who made more money than I. I want women to be empowered also. It's just that a lot of them seem to not want much to do with people like me.
I'll admit it, in a sense, I am intimidated by people like that in general. Not just women.
I mean, I'll read about someone who is my age or younger, and it says that they are a CEO or something. I start thinking, "geez, here I am in my lowly job." People like that I find can be rather judgemental. As if you dropped the ball in the game of life and are therefore unworthy.
And women do often seem to be quite concerned about how you're making a living. Maybe they think I'll mooch off of them or something.
Oh well, who wants to be with someone who cares more about what you do for a living than what kind of person you are?
I just thought it'd make for a good topic. Class issues have been on my brain a bit lately.
guitarman100-Good one my friend. I'm not looking for a one night stand.
Here's how it is. I'll see a cute girl. Then I read her profile and she seems nice and everything. Then she'll start going on and on about her career and how she wants someone who's "driven" and "career-oriented", and then I find out that she's a VP or something. And I'm feeling like a pauper all of a sudden.
Maybe it's just me. I'm not sure I'd want to date a "suit" anyway. But for whatever reason feel slighted.
I don't even know what I want anymore to tell the truth.
Seavoyage-good post. Your points are well-taken. Man of Adventure also.
I read somewhere that you need to be making a minimum of $40,000 a year to BREAK EVEN if you have to pay for daycare. This is BREAK EVEN only.
Wow. I'm only doing 30G a year.
I'm not going to worry about it anymore. Thanks everyone. | |
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