| Artist dating artist experiences
Posted: 8/3/2007 7:43:21 AM | | As an artist I find there is a shorthand "language" or understanding with other artists. My most successful relationships have been with other artists who understand the drives without a lot of discussion and respects it. I was married to another artist for 25 years before he passed away and it was great. Before that I'd dated others and there was always some key element of understanding missing. Have any of you experienced this? How do you develop a relationship with a non-artist or is this a needless worry? I always felt, when dating non-artists, like I was walking with one foot on a step...always a little out of sync. This is making me nervous about dating non artists, perhaps needlessly, but I'd appreciate the insight of other artists on POF. Thanks. | |
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| Artist dating artist experiences
Posted: 8/3/2007 10:09:05 AM | sounds more like you're scared to date outside your own comfort zone.
cant have the ying without yang. the truth is, everyone is artistic in one way or another. you just have to look for it! | |
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| Artist dating artist experiences
Posted: 8/3/2007 10:35:07 AM | OP, are you saying that Artists are in a class of their own and they are more special than say an Accountant, Lawyer, Factory worker, Landscaper?
My difficulty in understanding what you are trying to say, is I have never dated another Accountant. Everyone that I have ever had a relationship with does not have a clue about debits and credits, Financial Statements, Depreciation etc.
Mind you when I am with that someone special, I do inquire how was their day, and I enjoy listening about their job. However, our entire conversation is not focused on work.
What exactly is the point you are trying to get across? | |
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| Artist dating artist experiences
Posted: 8/3/2007 11:10:41 AM | With other artists, I found more a matter of creative differences than non art people. I prefer non art people for serious live in or marriage... since I then get to pick the decor.
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| Artist dating artist experiences
Posted: 8/3/2007 11:23:58 AM | In my experience, one needn’t be an artist to be artistic. Artistic is creative expression and thought; being imaginative, which can be accomplished in many, many ways. I think matching compatibility in mind, passion, personality and interests is extremely important to finding the right relationship, but a one-for-one exact artistic match is not necessary. You need to seek out like-minded individuals, (e.g., passionate, creative, free-thinking, openly expressive), rather than those with a more analytical and logical look at life. If you take an “artist only” stance, you will be missing out.
P.S.
I am exceptionally creative, AND I know all about debits, credits, journal entries, balance sheets, too!
Don’t be “accrual” to a heart that’s true. | |
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| Artist dating artist experiences
Posted: 8/3/2007 11:49:47 AM | I find non art people who like an appricate art better to live with ;) when you are an artist.
I prefer art people who have an interest in visual art like drawing/ painting rather than the writing arts. I have never met one person in my life who was a fan of english/ literature and writing that I liked being around.
Writers are strange and moody people !......... often quasi intellectuals. UGH ( even porn writers, not a real writer but they do fancy themselves as writers)
People who draw/ paint/ sculpt are far more interesting... and even temprered than writers.
The best artists of all are the story tellers... at least when your just visiting and/ or part of the audience, they are sometimes nice friends.
I had a good friend for a long time before she passed away who was a story teller. I loved her stories and she was so nice to be around. | |
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| Artist dating artist experiences
Posted: 8/3/2007 11:52:49 AM | To want12---since I can't quote lol...
No where in her post did she make any mention of anyone being more important or special...The point I think you're missing is it is a way of life for a lot of artists...and that can sometimes lead to differences or misunderstandings...You mention that with a loved one, your conversations are not focused on work..the point i think the OP was trying to make is that it is a WAY of life..not a career or job...and so she was asking about the complications/differences that may arise based on that LIFESTYLE..much like a serious athlete or drug addict :) | |
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| Artist dating artist experiences
Posted: 8/3/2007 12:26:46 PM | | I am an artist and there is a difference.Creative expresson through any means whether it be painting,writing or music has a different value to everyone...those who create do use the other side of there brain,we admire anothers work for techinque and a non-artist admires the work for what they see or hear.Dating an artist and being one there is alot to communicate about,life in general and the arts ,communication is an essential key to any relationship...what was the question? An Artist would know... | |
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| Artist dating artist experiences
Posted: 8/3/2007 12:50:12 PM | No where in her post did she make any mention of anyone being more important or special..
I never claimed she did.... what I said was.....
are you saying that Artists are in a class of their own and they are more special
It was a question, not a statement. | |
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| Artist dating artist experiences
Posted: 8/3/2007 12:53:42 PM | msg 10 I did not take it that she meant they are in a class by themselves
as in a negative or snobby way... but some of us are kinda addicted to art as in a lifestyle ;)
Unless your one of them with that passion, guess you may not understand...
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| Artist dating artist experiences
Posted: 8/3/2007 1:13:26 PM | | OP, many people have a passion for something; some have it for art, others for law, others for technology, etc. Each person's passion takes up a good portion of their time and thoughts, but as long as the two people involved care for and respect each other, it shouldn't make any difference if they're both artists, or and artist and a lawyer. | |
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| Artist dating artist experiences
Posted: 8/3/2007 1:18:04 PM | Art and creativity comes in many forms. I want to treat it as a brainspace rather than a narrow and specific label. There are many people out there who are very content to live a life of routine and same ol same ol - and kudos to them for enjoying such a life... I have met very few artists with that brainspace - not to say they don't exist . I have tried dating jock types or non-creative people and find they don't really understand the extra realms my mind moves into from time to time. Please dont take me as pompous for saying that.
Creative minds are (very generally speaking) often looking beyond the surfaces for inspiration and details and tend to constantly seek new experiences and ways of expanding thier perspective - at least that's the way MY mind moves and I am very creative. I'm not saying a non-artistic person can't have that brain space as well, but I would much rather date someone who has some sort of creative hobbie than someone who doesnt. So long as they know how to live and function in the real world. (EG: An entreprenuer or proffessional of some sort who does digital photography in his off time is appealing to me) They are more apt to "get me" and I am more apt to "flow" with them on a life level. | |
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| Artist dating artist experiences
Posted: 8/3/2007 7:09:02 PM | op, when you say "artist", i "hear" you meaning "painter, drawer, sculptor", which is based upon some of your prior posts. i do believe that is what you mean...folk whose life revolves around the creation of that sort of art. but, would you be satisfied with one who is of an analytical bent, yet still has some creative aspects to their personality?
i think frau blucher is right on target.
In my experience, one needn’t be an artist to be artistic. Artistic is creative expression and thought; being imaginative, which can be accomplished in many, many ways. I think matching compatibility in mind, passion, personality and interests is extremely important to finding the right relationship, but a one-for-one exact artistic match is not necessary. You need to seek out like-minded individuals, (e.g., passionate, creative, free-thinking, openly expressive), rather than those with a more analytical and logical look at life. If you take an “artist only” stance, you will be missing out.
P.S.
I am exceptionally creative, AND I know all about debits, credits, journal entries, balance sheets, too!
Don’t be “accrual” to a heart that’s true.
that was funny!!
but, seriously, i do spend alot of time on the poetry forum. not saying i'm great, but it is a creative outlet. i say that is another type of art. and, i confess to being, primarily, one of those analytical/logical types...but, that doesn't mean i am not creative, and could not relate to a creative person. it's simply a matter of priorities. my analytical side provides the wherewithal for my creative pursuits, such as poetry and photography.
bigtimethom's post seems to reflect that...
I am an artist and there is a difference.Creative expresson through any means whether it be painting,writing or music has a different value to everyone...those who create do use the other side of there brain,we admire anothers work for techinque and a non-artist admires the work for what they see or hear.Dating an artist and being one there is alot to communicate about,life in general and the arts ,communication is an essential key to any relationship...what was the question? An Artist would know...
yet, i feel that it calls into question those whose primary function is not art.
just my opinion... | |
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| Artist dating artist experiences
Posted: 8/3/2007 9:02:15 PM | You've all given me a lot of "food for thought". It's been a long time since I was in the pool and I spend a great deal of my life communicating with others. I just don't share my interior landscape with all of them. I haven't limited my dating options in terms of occupation or avocation, but have experienced an intimacy of communication with other artists (ie: creative people, different genres) because the "get" it when I have a brain blast. There have been others that the more you try to explain what you saw or thought the less they even want to understand it and sometimes don't even see the point of what you're saying. The ease of communication with my husband enhanced all aspects of our life together. I'm asking if that ease of communication is possible beyond the artist to artist match, if that makes any sense. You're artists or you wouldn't have even looked at this. Have you dated artists and experienced that intuitive communication? Did you find it better or worse? If you choose to date non-artists, are you able to communicate your interior landscape to them? I don't think artists are better than anyone else. I think artists have a different approach to a lot of things and a different perspective. One person might look at an oil spill in a puddle and think "Gross, pollution." and an artist might stand and look at the swirling iridescent colors and find images in them.
My knowledge of debits, etc. is pretty limited, so I'm very impressed with frau blucher too. It was funny.
Vosche, of course I'm out of my comfort zone by just dating! It's not just limited to a snobbish artist/non-artist conflict. | |
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| Artist dating artist experiences
Posted: 8/3/2007 9:21:48 PM | | To each their own, but if you can expand your view of art to include life itself, you find no one is not an artist, after a fashion. | |
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| Artist dating artist experiences
Posted: 8/7/2007 7:37:38 AM | I seem to find both artist and non-artist don't always understand my work. I am a very analytical and logical person, yet my artwork is abstract and very subjective. I also am a writer and a poet, although even my writing doesn't always make sense to other writers....LOL
Right now I am dating a gentleman who is starting up his own RF equipment repair. He doesn't always understand my art, but I seldom understand what he is doing also...LOL He knows my art is very improtant to me and realizes that just as he gets that sense of accomplishment from his work, which takes up more of his time than my art, I get from my art.
Just as with the other people I have dated it is about respect of differences and acceptances of those differences. I like deep conversation and clear communication. All the rest of the things in a relationship will work out around that. | |
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| Artist dating artist experiences
Posted: 8/7/2007 8:33:55 AM | I can understand your viewpoint, OP. Other artists talk the same as you, have read the same books as you, have done the same things as you. It is like dating someone who grew up in the same town. It is easy.
I am a creative mathematician and everything I do is about art. I come from a musical, artistic, acting family, so I can completely understand the traditional artists, and am musical myself. But a lot of artists have a lot of trouble appreciating the beauty of mathematics and seem to forget about the amount of mathematics involved in most painting and sculpture before 1900, such as the Sistine Chapel and the Mona Lisa. So it is easier for me to date someone who has an open mind to creativity in general, rather than an artist.
If you want to date a creative person, who does not do the classical arts, the only advice I can give you is to listen. If you listen to people, and you give them the chance to talk about their creative experiences, you will discover that many people are creative in many different ways, and art is about expression, not form. It is more of a challenge than a non-artist, but infinitely more expressive and mind-opening in the long run.
But if you are only willing to listen to people who use the same jargon as you, and who read the same books as you, then stick to other artists. It is far less interesting, but easier. | |
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| Artist dating artist experiences
Posted: 8/7/2007 8:39:34 AM | | I'm a musical person. Alot of peole don't understand when I say: "That's out of tune" about a recording. I can't tell you how many times I've been laughed at when I say that "I hear colours". Some people try to understand, some don't believe that my head is tuned differently then their's ... | |
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| Artist dating artist experiences
Posted: 8/7/2007 8:42:22 AM | I dated an artist for 2 1/2 years, she was jealous of my art and even more so when I was offered more money for my simple stuff than she was for her degreed productions.
Can't help it, Artists dating Artists are a bit sketchy to me. LOL
 Woof!
Eddie | |
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| Artist dating artist experiences
Posted: 8/7/2007 8:59:19 AM | OP, as you can tell from the majority of responses, non-artists just don't get it.
That doesn't mean you can't have a successful relationship with someone not as right brained.
It does mean you won't have that particular aspect, that sharing of view or understanding or appreciation, or lifestyle, to the same degree, though here and there, there will be a person who, though admittedly without talent, appreciates certain parts of the art world. You certainly don't want someone who doesn't get it at all, that would be like living in isolation.
But that's not all there is to a relationship anyway. That's just a preference. I miss it too and would prefer it, but then again, some art types are just too spacey for me.
Why don't you frequent art galleries, openings, workshops, classes, museums, poetry readings, art fairs, and see if you can meet some people there? | |
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| Artist dating artist experiences
Posted: 8/7/2007 9:51:48 AM | | I agree that dating an artist would be more interesting. I am a spinner and weaver and we tend to see things not as they are but what it can be. The same goes for photographers and how they see things. We live for colour and textures. We just don't stop and smell the roses but we also want to touch their soft petals...while others walk by and think we are nuts... | |
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| Artist dating artist experiences
Posted: 8/7/2007 3:25:06 PM | There's AWESOME artists/creative people to date and others you should just avoid.
Some artists who are intently focused on fame and think they are only the best and can never focus on the other person SUCK! Like hey I am not here to clean your mess and wtf I can go home and do my own art then if your gonna ignore me, and how about you cook me a decent meal for a CHANGE Mr. Narcissitic? LOL
Also there are some people who have relied on art there whole life as an escape from issues such as socializing, trauma, CHORES and whatever else. They would rather be alone and some fear social events. Some will never grow bored of this ESCAPE route and will never WAKE UP and realize there's more to the world then a CANVAS and Paintbrush or whatever media they work in. Then one day when they are lonely for LOVE/LUST/SEX/MINDGAMES again, they are too far gone because of their creative genius and all those hours of being alone. Which tends to make one forget how to converse with the species they want to talk to. So after a half-ass effort to snag the human, alien, they desire it may backfire, after the partner expects them to make some EFFORTS back and then the ARTIST becomes highly irritated with the woman/man, hermaphadite or whatever they enjoy humping...............So then the artist goes back to his/her cave to CREATE something MAGNIFICENT (UNLIKE ANYTHING THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN BEFORE-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOH, clap, clap, LET ME FEED YOUR EGO). When someone asks them what their masterpiece really means, they may use the excuse of PAIN and TORMENT of the real world. Meanwhile there may not be a meaning at all and it is what they do, or they were really bored because they couldn't snag a piece of HOT ASS.
  
P.s that little piece of fiction was inspired for the woman on here who says she avoids writers because they are moody but loves artists. Hmm the SECRET CODE has been broken for a while now, most artists can get moody (especially if they run out of time or have no money), and some USE more then one medium to explore their creativity in. EX: writing. | |
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