| how many women approach men on this site 1st/how many men receive emails from women first
Posted: 8/6/2007 9:38:43 AM | Just curious, i know the trend on here is much like the trend in real life; you got alot of men trying to approach/appeal to the women, my question is this how many women are willing to or actually making the initial contact w/men. I know in real life its beginning to be more prominent; but it's still more of a thing that guys do or are expected to do.
so how many women are approaching men-if so what made you become the aggressor, was it that too many of the wrong types were approaching you and u wanted to make sure u were dealing w/the guys who were what u wanted...
women who don't approach men, why don't u-
an for guys who don't receive initial emails is that a matter of them not appealing to a broad spectrum of women or is it a matter of most women still waiting for the men to take the lead on things.
i rarely have women approach me, usually when they do; it's based off a thread i wrote or started, but as far as women just trying to get w/me or get to know me,...never had it happen on here. Real life yes..here no
thoughts/opinions | |
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| how many women approach men on this site 1st/how many men receive emails from women first
Posted: 8/6/2007 9:44:25 AM | I am no longer looking but when I did look.... here is what worked !
I wrote my profile and kept it on hidden... and only contacted the few men I was interested in.
I found the other way, there is too much mail and too many psychos who are just going by pictures. Being I am very attractive.... I got way too much mail...99.9999% of it from men I did not want to know or meet.
I would say women are better off hiding profiles in some cases.... if they are healthy, attractive and have their life and head together.
Too much junk mail can be distracting.... and time, energy wasting. | |
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| how many women approach men on this site 1st/how many men receive emails from women first
Posted: 8/6/2007 9:59:46 AM | I know this sounds strange....but I've done the same thing as ^^^^^^. I found that when my profile was searchable that 98% of the emails I got were from women that frankly, I had zero interest in.
I still get lots of emails, primarily from women reading forum posts I've made. And I'm almost universally impressed at their profiles and them. Typically articulate, bright, attractive...they all just live a long, long way away.
So, I for the most part stick to approaching the ones (locally) who appear to be interesting possibles. As far as the LD interests...while I've had the pleasure of an introduction to some incredible women, distance is what it is...love is not just a matter of timing, but also geography. We are where we are for a reason in our lives, and I can't imagine asking someone to move just so we could "see where things go".
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| how many women approach men on this site 1st/how many men receive emails from women first
Posted: 8/6/2007 10:16:18 AM | If I have interest in someone I usually e-mail first. By default the men I like don't have the arrogance or ego to e-mail me, and for some reason the men that do e-mail me I never have any attraction to. I just can't deal with someone who's overly self important or tries to sell someone.
In real life it's usually the same...the ones who approach me, meh - not my type. I like to talk to the ones I like, weeds out all the filler.
But I am also conversational with people who's profile I think is cool, or have good humor in them, or someone I read in the forums who I think is extremely insightful, or in real life if I notice something interesting about them - both male and female. I am social by nature and I just tend to approach people in general. | |
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| how many women approach men on this site 1st/how many men receive emails from women first
Posted: 8/6/2007 10:33:36 AM | I'll email the guy first if he comes to my attention (faved me, viewed me, or I discovered him in my own searches) and I like what I see in his profile.
I want to know some details, so the longer the profile is, the better. And they gotta have at least one picture, please.*
Same if they email me first. Give me something to work with! Don't just give me a short line and expect to open a dialogue with that. I can't tell what you want with that.
So far, I've been lucky in that I've only had a few weirdos contact me. I did make it clear that I'm not looking for Intimate Encounters, so that might be part of it.
*Yeah, I know that sounds shallow as all hell, but I want to put a face to the name if I'm getting to know the guy. And let's be honest; first impressions DO count. I am no raving beauty, but I had the nerve to post MY picture (and will add more when I get some made)... if you want my attention, you'll do the same. Besides, not every woman wants male model. I happen to LOVE quirky (Hey, Robin Williams is sexy as hell to me, okay?) | |
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| how many women approach men on this site 1st/how many men receive emails from women first
Posted: 8/6/2007 10:47:34 AM | I'm another woman who approaches men on here. Most of the men I've dated or become friends with are ones I've contacted first. In the beginning I met men who contacted me, after a while I realized I trusted my own judgement so much more and started meeting only those that appealed to me.
It seems to have worked well, I've met a wonderful guy and have made some great friends. | |
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| how many women approach men on this site 1st/how many men receive emails from women first
Posted: 8/6/2007 10:52:20 AM | ^^^^I fully agree
At least if your not going to have a pic up, send me one when you mail me as an attachment...I have pics up and it's not fair for you to know what I look like but for me not to get to see you.
I do some first contacts if I see something I like in their profiles, or something we may have in common....Or YES even if they have a nice pic or 2. I mean honestly we cannot be with somebody we don't find attractive..... | |
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| how many women approach men on this site 1st/how many men receive emails from women first
Posted: 8/6/2007 10:59:00 AM | I also am a first contact girl.
Well - it did not start like that, it was just a
'Hey see you on the forums" - we started this great friendship
actually. Nothing that I have ever had with anyone.
It just kind of progressed from there.
And yes I am also old fashioned in the respect that I would like
someone to persue me but like I said, it started as nothing, just
an email that stated that he was a scream on the forums. From
there it just was frequent contact that bloomed into something
very beautiful.
curlygrl~ | |
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| how many women approach men on this site 1st/how many men receive emails from women first
Posted: 8/6/2007 11:03:16 AM | I rarely contact women on here first I have no desire to attempt to sell to someone who has zero interest in buying. I love it when I women takes the step to send me an email first then I feel she will at least take the time to read what I send her and make a judgement if she is interested in the follow up or not.I find it wastes my time less and hers as well as she is approaching what shes interested in. Bottom line I would wager that women with pics up get 10x the mail that men get so why would they want to weed through it all even if they had the time whereas if they approach a man first the likelyhood they get a response is far greater then a guy mailing her and he knows she interested.
JC | |
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| how many women approach men on this site 1st/how many men receive emails from women first
Posted: 8/6/2007 12:36:01 PM | i just figured since so many women dislike a large majority of the men who approach them i assume they would make more of an effort to reach out to the guys they find appealing; its a known fact in dating/sex women have the power or control cause they are the object desire...
that as why we have ladies nights, not men's nights at clubs; plain and simple, so why not just fall back and pick who u want.. studies show the results for men's reaction to women is much higher than women's reactio to men when they approach.
an the women seem to have a really good idea of what they eant specifically; its not to vague or all encompassing, after reading alot of women's page i can more or less tell wether or not i fit... an as alot of my female friends say the guys description of what they want is a bit broader... | |
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Zeyphr
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Joined: 6/12/2007
Msg: 17 | |
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| how many women approach men on this site 1st/how many men receive emails from women first
Posted: 8/6/2007 1:26:06 PM | I'm seeing posts where guys are saying they've gotten 5 or 6 emails in as many months...that's incredulous. With my profile not hidden, I've received that many in a day sometimes, and even with it hidden, getting 5-6 in a week as a result of forum postings is not unusual.
Perhaps the filters are a bit too tight. I can understand age and even distance, but as soon as you start disqualifying for all the nebulous "what they're looking for" categories, you cut out a lot of new opportunities to get to know someone who could turn out to be a great friend.
JHMO  | |
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sddude
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Joined: 11/4/2004
Msg: 19 | |
| how many women approach men on this site 1st/how many men receive emails from women first
Posted: 8/6/2007 1:52:46 PM | eazk , wow
maybe in the dating world you are a stud then , honestly , the last interested e-mail I got from a woman was back in 2005 and she flaked out . my inbox is forever empty.
all you guys here are studs compared to me in the inbox department ,,,,maybe because i am short ?
in the real world it is another story waaay different, then again I work very hard , very hard. | |
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| how many women approach men on this site 1st/how many men receive emails from women first
Posted: 8/6/2007 2:25:45 PM | I have no idea how many I've received but I have sent only three initial contacts. Mostly because I'm busy or lazy and don't have time to search my area or I HAVE taken a look and... uh... *Shrug* Didn't see anything that jumped out at me.
Of the three have I sent, one did not respond. I have responded to all of those that messaged me (except for the new ones in over the weekend).
I mostly like the forums anyway. If something happens, yay. If not, nbfd. | |
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| how many women approach men on this site 1st/how many men receive emails from women first
Posted: 8/6/2007 2:53:47 PM | I am average looking, so I receive (I would assume this is normal considering the 'picture chemistry factor' and higher population of men on POF from what I read) less first contact emails than I've sent. From all I've read in profiles (which seem to me contradictory to what is in the forums, suprisingly) and the real life experiences I've had, I would say it's all about how attractive one is in their picture, secondarily modified by what is written in the profile (though that last has much less effect). Certainly there are those singular and unique individuals that break that paradigm, but that is probably the exception to the rule - IMHO.
I doubt I have the experience to say for sure, but my generalized gut feeling from experiences so far somewhat mirrors those of both the guys and the girls if I read the posts in this thread correctly. Essentially, if the girl makes first contact, the association/friendship/relationship has a higher probability of a longer life. That seems opposite to what I experienced at a much younger period in my life - perhaps age has something to do with it?  . Good luck all! | |
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sddude
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Joined: 11/4/2004
Msg: 25 | |
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