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 Morning_Glory_
Joined: 1/6/2007
Msg: 1
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Threesomes - two men, one lady - How does it affect the relationship?Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Have any of you guys had another man join you and your gf in some sort of sexual play?

My guy has talked about a couple of fantasies of his that would involve my being with another man while he watches. I'm not shy and I love c..k so I am not against doing it for the fun of it. But I'm concerned about how it might affect the great relationship I have with my man right now.

So for those of you that have experienced this, was the fantasy as great as you hoped it would be? did it bring you and your partner closer or did it cause problems afterwards?
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 2
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Threesomes - two men, one lady - How does it affect the relationship?
Posted: 8/6/2007 11:37:55 AM
I had the opportunity for one when I was younger, and I turned it down because I didn't know the second guy. When I was in my 20's the chance came up again, but the second guy wasn't into it.

The ex and I had discussed it, more in jest then in any serious nature... we were negotiating c*cks and b( o)( o)bs... In some way I'm personally glad that I never followed thru on this as there is no way that the reality could be close to the fantasy. In my fantasy I control the action, what happens, when, to who, how long it goes on, how it ends, every aspect of it. And without discussing it in detail prior to the real thing, or writing a script, there's no way reality would have the same flow as my fantasy.

There are many cases of people who have had a threesome where the relationship has fallen apart as a result. If either of you are in any way shape or form jealous, I would highly recommend that you NOT do this.
 psssst
Joined: 6/4/2007
Msg: 3
Threesomes - two men, one lady - How does it affect the relationship?
Posted: 8/6/2007 11:38:14 AM
I know a couple that did do this and although they are still married, they are undergoing intense counselling to resolve the issues that were left behind... just the thought of sharing either my partner or myself in such an intimate manner makes me ill...

I recommend that you figure out another way for him to be amused...
 Eno1975
Joined: 5/17/2007
Msg: 4
Threesomes - two men, one lady - How does it affect the relationship?
Posted: 8/6/2007 12:23:16 PM
I find the conspicuous absence of male contributions here amusing. You realize of course that on a dating site men would be committing suicide by speaking from experience in here.

Women can contribute to whatever they want because few guys even read the profiles- so not sure how much feedback you're going to get from men. As for me personally- having not ever experienced it- even the suggestion of it would be a show stopper. Call me old fashioned and pig headed... but if feeling that way is wrong I don't want to be right.


Eno.
 enahs1180
Joined: 5/23/2006
Msg: 5
Threesomes - two men, one lady - How does it affect the relationship?
Posted: 8/6/2007 12:58:20 PM
There is nothing worse that a women that I loved could do to disgust me. If I ever did something like that, it would be a one timer with, for the lack of a better word, a slut. If you think that letting your partner (that you care about) f*ck someone else is cool, then you need help.
 Morning_Glory_
Joined: 1/6/2007
Msg: 6
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Threesomes - two men, one lady - How does it affect the relationship?
Posted: 8/6/2007 1:11:24 PM
If you think that letting your partner (that you care about) f*ck someone else is cool, then you need help.

--------------------------------

Considering that I'm open minded and a grown mature woman, I don't think the idea makes one in need of therapy. Its something I've never tried but I'm not going to just dismiss the idea either.

Any guys want to fess up to having done the three some - two ladies and him or two guys and a lady? What part of the fantasy did you do - were you the third person? Did you want the 3some and asked your partner for it?

Come on guys? Anyone want to brag or tell about what happened to "a buddy of mine" ?
 codedout
Joined: 7/25/2004
Msg: 7
Threesomes - two men, one lady - How does it affect the relationship?
Posted: 8/6/2007 1:12:36 PM
The reason 3 somes go bad, is one of a few reasons:

1) there is some jealousy going on
2) someone accidentally gets left out
3) if you approach it selfishly then it wont work well
4) one of the parties is either homophobic or lesbophobic
5) one of the parties was pushed or guilted into doing it.
6) lack of respect
7) lack of trust
8) expectations

For it to be a fun exciting evening all parties really have to have the mindset that it is a giving night. This does not mean each person will not get their share off pleasure, but if you go in with expectations that it will be this mind shattering experience forget it especially the first time.

if you are phobic in any fashion its going to get tough, you are in pretty close quarters and at some point yes you are going to get accidentally touched, whether its someone slightly off balance or other reason.

Some people go into it excited and willing to try something new, but quickly realise this is not what they want. Sometimes when they realize this they forge through so they dont dissapoint the other parties.... Bad thing you all need to keep an eye on each other and make sure you are comfortable, if anyone starts getting wierded out STOP, and postpone it till another time have respect and trust of each other so no one walks away feeling bad.

If it is a couple enternaining another guest set your ground rules ahead of time, what is acceptable and what is not. Also if you can in a cool way explaian what is acceptable and not to your guest. Basic example:

If it is a couple in a mfm, and the femal doesnt like anal, it would be a good idea for the male partner to pull the guest asside,and casually inform him that anal is off limits. If he cant respect that then boot his ass to the curb right there and then.

Anyway my 2 cents worth.
 mepalmer
Joined: 3/26/2007
Msg: 8
Threesomes - two men, one lady - How does it affect the relationship?
Posted: 8/6/2007 1:20:12 PM
My guy has talked about a couple of fantasies of his that would involve my being with another man while he watches. I'm not shy and I love c..k so I am not against doing it for the fun of it.


Great relationship? My personal feelings is it ain't so great if he wants to see you do another man. And didn't you just get into this relationship? I find this whole thing disgusting. Your attitude as well as his. And the way you're talking and portraying yourself on a public message board is obscene.
 Morning_Glory_
Joined: 1/6/2007
Msg: 9
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Threesomes - two men, one lady - How does it affect the relationship?
Posted: 8/6/2007 1:53:45 PM
I didn't ask for input from the moral police.

To each his own - if the idea disgusts you, why are you even here? besides I asked the men their thoughts on the subject.
 Rapidfire
Joined: 4/6/2007
Msg: 10
Threesomes - two men, one lady - How does it affect the relationship?
Posted: 8/6/2007 2:01:04 PM
2 men, 1 lady...I'll pass

A guys threesome fantasy is 1 man, 2 ladies. I wouldn't want some other guy banging my girlfriend at the same time that I was...that'd just be creepy and uncomfortable...
 Morning_Glory_
Joined: 1/6/2007
Msg: 11
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Threesomes - two men, one lady - How does it affect the relationship?
Posted: 8/6/2007 2:42:45 PM
Rapidfire - would you feel differently if it was another lady with you and your gf?

Why would that be acceptable but the second guy fantasy not okay?

For the record, at the moment I have no plans for a threesome, I'm totally enjoying the two person sex. but since this is a fantasy that we talk about, if at some point I did decide to consent to trying it, I'd like a little feedback on the possible aftermath.
 BerryPie
Joined: 5/25/2007
Msg: 12
Threesomes - two men, one lady - How does it affect the relationship?
Posted: 8/6/2007 2:59:17 PM
Are you joking?
Do you think , in the cold light of day, it won't effect your relationship???
Perhaps I have different ideas about what a 1 on 1 is but to me that makes 2
I would feel degraded and a pawn in a game like that... I've often fantacised with my man about the senario but that's what it is ... a fantasy
 As you wish....
Joined: 12/28/2005
Msg: 13
Threesomes - two men, one lady - How does it affect the relationship?
Posted: 8/6/2007 3:28:29 PM
This is just flat out gross... Makes me sick to even think about it. Immoral and disghusting in every aspect. And we wonder why the divorce rates are so high in America? Why in the world would anyone want to introduce something like this to their loving relationship? One man, One woman... to desire more is greedy and selfish on anyones account. Acts of lust like this have destroyed everything that the human race is about and we continue falling because of it. Wake up people and remember what "love" and the bond of marriage is all about. It worked in the past, but we as society perverted it, ripped it apart and now suffer for it. What ever happened to the word and defenition of Marriage?
 BoredomIsDeath
Joined: 8/1/2007
Msg: 14
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Threesomes - two men, one lady - How does it affect the relationship?
Posted: 8/6/2007 3:40:05 PM

This is just flat out gross


In technical aspects, you're not gay 'til the balls touch.
 Sir Pryze
Joined: 11/22/2005
Msg: 15
Threesomes - two men, one lady - How does it affect the relationship?
Posted: 8/7/2007 9:48:20 PM
Slapping nuts isn't for me.
The outcome could be bad, watch "Chasing Amy".
The way you portray yourself, why not go buy 2 blue dolphins and put them into the holes your man isn't occupying next time you go at it.

Meet halfway, get a girl with a strap-on if you want to do it. Or film yourselves doing it so he can watch himself pumping you.

Maybe put this post in the appropiate forum.
 kittybiscuit
Joined: 2/11/2007
Msg: 16
Threesomes - two men, one lady - How does it affect the relationship?
Posted: 8/7/2007 10:55:47 PM
3-somes and all of that are for when you are totally unattached. That way you can walk away from it and no hard feelings.

When you commit to someone in the traditional sense (excluding open-relationships here) you are saying you are with them and only them. Bringing someone else into the mix is bound to bring up issues between you and your SO. You are opening a big can of worms that are going to be hard to swallow.
 Oriole
Joined: 6/30/2007
Msg: 17
Threesomes - two men, one lady - How does it affect the relationship?
Posted: 8/7/2007 11:02:01 PM
I think Codedout had the most intelligent answer so far. Make that the only intelligent answer so far, actually. Thanks, Codedout.

Then again, blue dolphins are pretty cool.

Then again, the "sanctimoniousness of marriage" argument seems to be a great workhorse for a lot of very specious reasoning, so there's something to be said for that too. :)

Of course there is the fact that in some cultures, sharing your wife with your bestest buddy or brother is a way to show (and build) trust, respect and unity.

Attitude is everything, I think.
 As you wish....
Joined: 12/28/2005
Msg: 18
Threesomes - two men, one lady - How does it affect the relationship?
Posted: 8/8/2007 1:18:43 PM
"Of course there is the fact that in some cultures, sharing your wife with your bestest buddy or brother is a way to show (and build) trust, respect and unity."

LOL! Thats the biggest Oxy-Moron I think I have ever heard in my life...... Was this ment as a joke? sharing your wife builds trust???? LOL!!!!!!!! You gotta be kidding me! You don't "share" your bank account with all sorts of people, why on Earth would you share your beloved wife? LOL!
 WonkaBar
Joined: 2/3/2006
Msg: 19
Threesomes - two men, one lady - How does it affect the relationship?
Posted: 8/8/2007 2:05:38 PM

ou realize of course that on a dating site men would be committing suicide by speaking from experience in here.


Hey, is that a cliff? COOL!

*wheeeEEEEEEEEeeeee..... * -splat-

I can't speak from direct experience, but a good friend of mine is in an open marriage... and it works. Since that's apparently a very rare thing, she gets asked about it at social events all the time, so I've heard her discuss the topic at great length. I don't know if she participates in direct threesomes, but I have been present at a 'group play' event (I did not participate) where one of her "extras" got her off while her husband was in full view and within arm's reach. I'm sure if it was a problem, there would have been fur flying.

Far as I'm concerned, it takes all kinds - and people who aren't fully okay with it can't comprehend the mindset of those that are. It runs that deep.

On the other hand, there are those who don't know if they are or they aren't until they give it a whirl. Speaking personally, I want no naked penii within a file mile radius of myself should I be in a similar state of clothedness... or lack thereof.
 Oriole
Joined: 6/30/2007
Msg: 20
Threesomes - two men, one lady - How does it affect the relationship?
Posted: 8/8/2007 2:05:48 PM
Yeah, see, just because you don't understand it, doesn't make it a universal untruth. Cultural biases vary. Deal with it.

(That being said, you don't look like anyone I'd share my partner OR bank account with, maybe that's why it doesn't click with you.)
 curlygrl
Joined: 11/8/2006
Msg: 21
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Threesomes - two men, one lady - How does it affect the relationship?
Posted: 8/8/2007 2:27:42 PM
Okay I have seen your other post about your
relationship with this guy- and yes Honey I know its
ask a guy.
I come to the conclusion that you really want to please him.
If you decide to do this you need to set some rules-
and you need to be totally honest with yourself and your feelings.
This could really hurt in the end if proper precautions are not
taken.
I could never do this- I cant share. I will not condem you for wanting
to do this as I have seen in your other posts that you really want
to please your boyfriend. Listen to the ones here that have done this
and know. Don't dismiss their comments.

curlygrl~
 charlottetownsexytimes
Joined: 4/25/2007
Msg: 22
Threesomes - two men, one lady - How does it affect the relationship?
Posted: 8/8/2007 2:32:00 PM
umm when did a mfm 3some equate to a dp situation?

really though 3 somes are weird dynamicaly
 Morning_Glory_
Joined: 1/6/2007
Msg: 23
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Threesomes - two men, one lady - How does it affect the relationship?
Posted: 8/8/2007 5:50:03 PM
Thanks for all the input and all the verbal tongue lashings.

The man I'm with is extremely adventerous sexually and he's been introducing me to things I've never tried before and I'm totally enjoying myself. At the moment threesomes are only fantasy/dirty talk - who knows they might just remain that way.

But I don't want to dismiss the idea without giving it some real thought. At the moment no plans to have anyone join us.

BTW the person suggesting I get a female to use a strap on - um? What? I won't do a threesome unless I'm the only female in the sandwich. So it would either be another guy or nothing.

But like i said its not even certain that this will ever turn into reality its just fun to fantasize and discuss at the moment.
 sexy fun guy
Joined: 7/11/2007
Msg: 24
Threesomes - two men, one lady - How does it affect the relationship?
Posted: 8/8/2007 6:43:07 PM
maybe you should tell your fella that ur only willing to do a 3 sum if its with two fella. i assume the idea that he had in his head (along with about 99%) of men is that 3 sum involve 1 guy 2 girls. he will probably get the idea out of his head if he thinks its with any bloke
personally would not recommend 3 sums

but stay talking about your fantasizes to him, its very healthy for the relationship.
i had a girlfriend before and her fantise was to do it in public. i was totally against the idea but when on hols in spain did it in balcony of first floor i must admit it turned me on.
 Peter52356
Joined: 5/3/2007
Msg: 25
Threesomes - two men, one lady - How does it affect the relationship?
Posted: 8/8/2007 7:55:15 PM

The reason 3 somes go bad, is one of a few reasons:

1) there is some jealousy going on
2) someone accidentally gets left out
3) if you approach it selfishly then it wont work well
4) one of the parties is either homophobic or lesbophobic
5) one of the parties was pushed or guilted into doing it.
6) lack of respect
7) lack of trust
8) expectations



BTW the person suggesting I get a female to use a strap on - um? What? I won't do a threesome unless I'm the only female in the sandwich. So it would either be another guy or nothing.


You just broke rule number 1 and 8.

You fail.

I have no prior experience myself either, but I did once discuss the idea of bringing another male, or another female in with my ex once. She was adamant that she would never bring another female in, but would consider the idea of another male.

I'd suggest keeping it as a fantasy, because I have a feeling the fantasy, is probably a lot better than the reality, and all of the problems that could crop up after-words.

It's your life though. Just remember that you were warned. There are a lot of consequences if you do this.

The main thing I'd suggest is getting someone neither of you knows as the 3rd if you are even remotely considering it, because this will wreck any relationship you have with the third party.
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