| Where are all the GOOD guys?[Closed/Mod Review]
Posted: 8/6/2007 5:26:31 PM | I hope this doesn't end up being a self pity post and end up getting deleted lol.
Anyway, internet dating has not been going well lately. I've had one bad experience after another in the past 6 months.
Let's just say I've been ripped off, chewed up and spit out.
I had my psp stolen by one guy. Then I went out with someone else after that was over. Anyone had the experience of people lying through their teeth on their profiles?????
This guy said he had a self employed and steady job, loved to go on roadtrips, amusement parks and spend lots of time outdoors. And the biggist lie of all was that he claimed he was a "sweet" guy. Well he was probably the meanest person I've ever met. Constant put downs and critisisms of everything that was "wrong" with me. His place was just awful. I don't think this guy cleaned a day in his life. His place would've been really nice if he took out the garbage, washed the dishes and learned to use a wastebasket instead of his whole apartment as a garbage can. So after a whole big argument and some more me bashing that was finally over. Then lastly I got invovled with someone who seemed like we really could click and possible have a long a steady relationship. Nope! After one date he dissappeared off the face of the earth for over a month then started talking to me out of the blue like nothing happened. Now I don't know what most people would think but this made me think it was over and to get over it, move on. And why is it when someone says they are looking for a deep meaningful relationship everything comes up sex sex SEX!????? I want a deep meaningful relationship too. I want to take things slow. Why does this person expect me to jump in bed with them on the second date!? It's cool if that's your sort of thing but it's not what I'm after. Why don't people who are just looking for sex put in their profiles they're looking for intimate encounters instead of dating or longterm. It's quite decieving when you think this could be something good and all the other person seems to think about talk about and want is to get in your pants.  Anyways I feel I've become a serial dater unintentionally and am starting to give up on the whole dating scene. Any ladies out there know what I'm talking about, or fellas??  | |
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| Where are all the GOOD guys?
Posted: 8/6/2007 5:44:28 PM | | this is not an insult..but if u keep runnin into the same kinds of guys..maybe ur problem is the type ur attracted to...or the type u attract to u | |
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| Where are all the GOOD guys?
Posted: 8/6/2007 5:53:43 PM | | as patrol sgt said, it's quite true. someone has told me that as well. when you keep falling under the same thing, it's most likely you're *fault* ...and you're just keeping yourself trapped in the cycle. | |
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| Where are all the GOOD guys?
Posted: 8/6/2007 5:56:00 PM | | I'm actually beginning to think all I can attract are a$$holes and idiots. Maybe I'm just better off single for now..... | |
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| Where are all the GOOD guys?
Posted: 8/6/2007 5:57:47 PM | I'm sorry But, I tend to agree... I hear this same story every week... from alot of other Ladys,I've meet and that are out there. You need to spend more time chatting on line, and the phone....To feel them out.
I know everytime, I jump to fast, ...I get the short end of the stick....
And from that , I've learned........ Time tells all.....
And, If the guy lives like a pig, What does that tell you, Hes going to treat you the same way...........
Good Guys are out their...But, We are hard to find...... | |
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| Where are all the GOOD guys?
Posted: 8/6/2007 6:00:35 PM | Yep, gotta agree with those first two. If you are hanging around "indie, artsy, goth, drug using, drinking blokes" then you are going to meet mostly loosers. Perhaps a better match might be a middleaged doctor or engineer, who WONT STEAL YOUR PLAYSTATION! I dont even have a play station so, maybe I should steal one!
Don't stay single, you are very pretty. A good way to overcome shyness is to do nude modeling and Tantra videos. | |
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| Where are all the GOOD guys?
Posted: 8/6/2007 6:02:46 PM | sorry to hear that happens to you ... I dont know, how do you find all those jerks?
How come when i say i am a sweet guy who is ambitiou and want a meaningful relationship; and no one take me seriously? I honestly doubt women look at those qualities in a men first. There must be something else that women look at first... | |
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| Where are all the GOOD guys?
Posted: 8/6/2007 6:03:00 PM | housejudge said it right there..spend more time on the phone or sumthin like yahoo b4 u go gettin involved with em...ask the guy stuff about himself...remember his answers...than ask him a week later...see if hes comin up with the same answers as b4....and if hes not willin to take a bit of time gettin to know u first b4 meetin u...u know what hes after...
one more thing...i dont think its "ur fault" per say....i read ur profile and u seem to have a nice personality to u...but ur very very young...and u have to realize guys in ur age group arent gonna be lookin...for the most part..im not sayin all....but they arent gonna be interested in the white pickett fence and settlin down just yet....give it time...dont give up....and sooner or later ur gonna find the right guy...and i know "goth" doesnt always have to mean drugs and constant drinkin...but in my experience...well...usually goes hand in hand... | |
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| Where are all the GOOD guys?
Posted: 8/6/2007 6:07:17 PM | um....okay not all goth people are drug users or drunks and whatever other label you want to put on them they are as different and very as everyone else. Believe it or not most are actually very quiet and keep to themselves oh and btw they aren't all going to go and shoot up a school or worship satan...Anyway's back to the main subject.Wow, I'm really starting to regret posting this. The part of the forum is "heartbreak" thought people would be a little more sympathetic but whatever...I was hoping for more replies from ppl who have went through similar issues instead of saying oh well it's my problem... | |
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| Where are all the GOOD guys?
Posted: 8/6/2007 6:11:29 PM | | u asked for advise...were givin u OUR OPINIONS....thats what u wanted....and ur matrurity or immaturity rather...is now startin to show...part of bein an adult is the ability to take constructive critisism...i told u its not an insult...its an observation...and remember one thing also....how many ppl out there r with there first bf or gf? usually have to kiss a few frogs b4 ya catch ur prince. but askin for pity or sympathy wont change ur circumstances now will it? | |
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| Where are all the GOOD guys?
Posted: 8/6/2007 6:16:17 PM | | I wasn't talking to you in particular. That was directed at someone else. Not taking enough time to get to know someone before I start dating them IS something I need to work on. Personally right now I am not looking for a relationship. I just thought maybe I would also hear of ppl who have had similar experiences. But I probably wont. I'm not trying to be immature, I'm having a pretty rough day and I guess things are starting to get to me. I do apologise if that's how I appeared. | |
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| Where are all the GOOD guys?
Posted: 8/6/2007 6:21:21 PM | | btw patrol sargent I have been in a relationship which lasted almost 5 years. I just thought it would be nice hearing from some ppl I could relate to. | |
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| Where are all the GOOD guys?
Posted: 8/6/2007 6:42:52 PM | | So heres the thing I have been back on this site for about a month now after meeting someone and seeing that person for 6 months, no it did not work out. I have met people off of the site and must say that we all need to be more careful in how we date or go after a relationship. Most people come into this with all kinds of issues from their past and keep repeating the cycles that they have been in for years; maybe we keep dating the wrong people with the hope that we can reform them who knows. So is there an answer to your woes, I could not tell you. I would say just be more careful. Try going the other way if there is a particular type you are attracted to and see how that works for you. I have learned that if you don't open up yourself, you will never know love and on the same token if you do you open yourself to be hurt. Good luck and know that we are all in the same boat. | |
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| Where are all the GOOD guys?
Posted: 8/6/2007 6:55:26 PM | there is alot of good guys out there. myself included. but i'm 50 years old, 107LBS over weight, so women don't want to give me the time of day. now granted you may not ever be interested in me cause i'm not into goth, but if you lived close to me i ask you to meet and talk. we could have a pleasant conversation and who knows, we just may turn out to be the best of friends. have a nice day
kenny | |
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| Where are all the GOOD guys?
Posted: 8/6/2007 7:03:04 PM | | It is kind of your problem, BUT we are here, to help you out. First, the profile it sounds like a victim, do you want hienas at your door? People will treat you, just the way you let them. Higher standards, will net you better quality guys. Those standards must be written in stone.No matter what, you stick to them EVEN if your heart broken to little pieces.If you get disrespected, it is by-bye time. It is going to be hard at first, but this is for the rest of your life. If you want longterm, I don't recomend it because you are too young, better start to read some books on relationships. You better get busy, to understand the difference, between good guys and bad guys. good luck | |
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| Where are all the GOOD guys?
Posted: 8/6/2007 7:05:41 PM | Hmmmm ... even though people may "lie through their teeth on their profiles", after a few meetings, true nature surfaces - so why stay with them?
The good guys are here and easy to spot ... but most women don't want "good" guys - they're the ones who are unfortunately chronically single for simply being themselves. | |
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Zeyphr
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Joined: 6/12/2007
Msg: 21 | |
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| Where are all the GOOD guys?
Posted: 8/6/2007 7:25:37 PM | | What is it with men in Canada? Every time I see a post like this its from some hottie in Canada that should have men lining up around the block to go after her. Instead all I see are sob stories about dumb dudes that screwed these girls over. I don't get it. I think I need to move to Canada. | |
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| Where are all the GOOD guys?
Posted: 8/6/2007 7:26:13 PM | | The GOOD guys are out there, the thing is...you probably pass them by because they aren't "cute" enough. The good guys will be willing to spend a little extra time getting to know you before expecting anything physical. You can find out pretty fast if a guy is stable by asking about his job, his education, who his role models were as a kid, his relationship with his parents, how many girlfriends he's had, what he does on the weekends, and so on. And don't be surprised if he's what you might consider "boring". That probably just means that he's not the type that will flirt with your bestfriend. The good guys are out there, they just aren't the smooth "playa's" you've been burned by. | |
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| Where are all the GOOD guys?
Posted: 8/6/2007 7:29:36 PM | | I can relate to you. There are guys that state in their profile that they are looking for a long term relationship, however the only thing they are actually looking for is to get into a woman's pants! These men who represent themselves as good guys actually make it more difficult for the real ones! Unfortunately, a lot of people misrepresent themselves & their intentions; which is true of both men & women. Definately taking it slow will be helpful in people potentially revealing their true nature & intentions. Initially, people will let you see only what they want you to see. It usually takes a longer period of time for the truth to reveal itself. The only two comforts are that good guys do actually exist & karma. I do believe what goes around comes around. Although you may never personally witness it these types of people inevitably run into their own kind & get a taste of their own medicine. Try not to become to discouraged by these types of men because there are some worthwhile men out there. In order to appreciate the good, one must also experience the bad as well. | |
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| Where are all the GOOD guys?
Posted: 8/6/2007 8:23:19 PM | 1) According to a lot of posts I read, 90% of men on POF are players, and send maybe 600 emails a week, compared to 10 a month for genuine guys. So you are most likely to be initially contacted by a player/user. The women posters who I think make sense on this site, said that the chances of have good experiences get much, much higher if you send the first email, and NOT them.
2) No-one sweet says they are sweet, just like no-one who is clean says so. It's obvious who is clean to a clean person. It's obvious who is sweet to a sweet person.
3) No one just clicks. To click, is to click like 2 pieces in a jigsaw. Out of 2000 pieces, 1,900 pieces don't fit at first glance, and 99 pieces do not fit you at first try. There is only 1 out of 1000 pieces that fit.
Same with dating. If you can tell me that out of 2000 guys you dated, you wouldn't even consider sleeping with all but 1 of them, and he's the same, then you *click*.
Sometimes, a guy will say that he feels an amazing connection with you. He is lying to get into your knickers.
When I click with a woman, it's not because we both like the same things. It's because there is no-one else who likes the same things as us. One woman liked cartoons, particularly Japanese cartoons, and she mentioned titles I loved. She loved Babylon5 and we compared notes about the characters. Hardly any other women or men I know like that stuff. That is clicking.
4) Most women ask for a relationship, and not sex. The women who do want sex, have either been with more men than the size of the average high school, or are unbelievably over-subscribed, or both. So if a man wants sex, he has to lie, and say he wants a relationship.
5) Tip: if a man has a very hot body, and he is looking for a relationship, then he wants a woman who wants him for MORE than his body. So he might not put it on show until you show him that you like him for who he is.
Same for a lot of qualities.
6) Try dating the men that are respected by a lot of people who have known him for a while. As Abraham Lincoln said:
You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can not fool all of the people all of the time.
7) It seems that you are describing a lot of mistakes that a lot of women make, because they are NOT thinking too deeply into the situation. If you don't think things through, you're bound to get burned.
Just my $0.02 | |
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