| Re: Failed Dr. Suess books
Posted: 8/31/2004 12:51:23 PM | hilarious dirk....hope you don't mine if i add a few of my own
pee in my tee,tard in my pants
i love green snot and flem, sam i am
cat in my lap, catching clap
tic toc, feel my cock
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| Re: Failed Dr. Suess books
Posted: 8/31/2004 2:06:02 PM | HAHAHAHAHA GOOOOD ONES....
one push.... two push ....virgin dufuss
i scream you scream you 3 blow me...
nick blick is one sick dick
luke duke likes to liick boots
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| Re: Failed Dr. Suess books
Posted: 9/13/2004 8:06:09 PM | Horton Hears a Nearsighted, Thumb-Fingered Proctologist
Cat in the Hood
Spank My Pop
I've got more...I think... | |
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| Re: Failed Dr. Suess books
Posted: 9/13/2004 8:22:46 PM | Okay...I got a visual from "Slop on Pop". Creepy.
Cat Does a Rat
Cat in the Hat Returns with an Axe and a Lot of Garbage Bags
The Gonch That Ruined Christmas (unabridged) | |
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| Re: Failed Dr. Suess books
Posted: 9/13/2004 9:36:06 PM | | omg i just read goats about the axe!!! holy snafflin' boar shit, you guys kill me | |
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xchuck
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Joined: 6/11/2004
Msg: 10 | |
| Re: Failed Dr. Suess books
Posted: 9/13/2004 9:49:51 PM | | i'm not surprised you would be amused...you always had a raunchy sense of humor | |
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| Re: Failed Dr. Suess books
Posted: 9/14/2004 5:54:20 PM | Got some more. I thought of this all day at work. I giggled myself sick -- sick, I tell you.
Green Eggs and Sperm
And this little tidbit I composed while moving paper around at work:
This is Sam
Sam likes to get it in the can
Sam is barely a man
Getting crammed
In the can
With a bag of Spam
A half-cooked yam
A pound of sand
Everything goes in Sam’s can
Honey glazed ham
A can of Pam
A carpet salesman
It’s a mighty full can
Poor Sam
Now that oughtta get this thread deleted for sure. I may have more if this doesn't do the trick.
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| Re: Failed Dr. Suess books
Posted: 9/14/2004 7:20:47 PM | | Okay...you are master of this thread! That is classy stuff, my friend...Grade A. I'm gonna have to brainstorm on some now... | |
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xchuck
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Joined: 6/11/2004
Msg: 13 | |
| Re: Failed Dr. Suess books
Posted: 9/14/2004 7:54:53 PM | i am sam i am
i like in the can
anytime you name
the place and when
i like it with a goat
on a boat
in a coat
at the bar
in the backseat
of a car
boy, that goat
really floats
my boat when
he gives me a
little grope
going to see
that goat tonight
i hope
hey goatsmell.....maybe that will get rid of this thread...lol | |
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| Re: Failed Dr. Suess books
Posted: 9/14/2004 8:11:05 PM | Heh heh...you made me crack a smile...or is that the other way around?
That's a good try, chuck. I was going to reply in kind, but the only word I can think that rhymes with "chuck" is uh...well, you know.
Would that be crossing the line?
Instead, how about:
Cat With a Fine Rack
Hope for Dope
Horton Grasps Himself
My Keys Do Please and Tease
The Grinch That Ruined the Petting Zoo for Children Aged 3 to 7
There may be more. Stay tuned. | |
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| Re: Failed Dr. Suess books
Posted: 9/14/2004 8:12:37 PM | I will not have them on a plane
I will not have them on a train
I will not have them on a bus
I will not have them in a car
I will not have them in the day
I will not have them in the night
I will not have them in a house
I will not have them in a field
I do not like crabs
Infected I am! | |
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| Re: Failed Dr. Suess books
Posted: 9/14/2004 8:17:03 PM | Heh heh....you've inspired me. It ain't too Suessian, but it may work on a Hallmark card:
Itchy, bitchy twitchy twat
It's a wonder what you've got
It's a marvel one never thought
Of natural peril thou hast wrought
Are they natural or are they bought
Are they given or were never sought
Itchy, bitchy twitchy twat
Okay...I'm giggling myself sick. This may be moved to the sex talk forum. Tee hee.... | |
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| Re: Failed Dr. Suess books
Posted: 9/14/2004 8:26:33 PM | | It's under the working title of The Vaginal Misery Tour. I don't know the ISBN number offhand. | |
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| Re: Failed Dr. Suess books
Posted: 9/15/2004 9:39:44 AM | Ok...I've got my list...have at it...
And To Think That I Saw It Spitting On My Pornos
Horton Hatches A Tree-Hugging Hippie With An Armpit Fetish
Horton Hears A Wookie Grabbing For His "Cookie"
I Can Poop With My Anus Sewn Shut!
I Can Lick 30 Carpets Today, And Other Tongue-Infesting Tales
Yertle The Turtle and Infertile Myrtle
Thidwick, The Double-Jointed Moose-Groper
One Spank, Two Spank, Who's That?, Blue Nad
How The Grinch Stole The Tampon From The Budding Pre-Teen
If I Ran The Study Of The Urangatan Sex Drive Fan Club
Did I Ever Tell You How Lucky You Are That You Didn't Eat Those Green Eggs And Spam
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| Re: Failed Dr. Suess books
Posted: 6/30/2005 10:34:07 AM | The Failed Dr. Suess Book - The Girl That Cut Testes
In the village of scrotumton, there's a quaint little place
Where men with their wanglers dangling all over the place
They all are so pround of their swinging digalidoos
They rub them on stumpets and whumpets and shoes
Yet one little man with the heart as big as a boat
Had wiggaliwoos that were larger than a six castle moat
He tripped when he walked, and stumbled when he talked
But mostly was sad by the way strangers would gawk
One other man suggested that he might want to try
A service he had heard of from a swift passer-by
Something so nice and so good and so strong
His prayers were now answered for it wouldn't be long
He took the advice and picked up the phone
For no man should have bing bongs the size of dinosaur bones
A sweet little voice on the other end exclaimed
"I'm Jenny Booboo whacker I can help with your pain
So over came Jenny with a big hippity, hop
Tapping on the door softly with a "knockity knock"
With a big smile she said "hello" when he opened the door
Even sweet Jenny was amazed at what dragged on the floor
"I must fix this now, I must fix this somehow"
"I'm suprised your not jumping and stomping them now"
In the blink of an eye she took careful aim
She said "This won't hurt a bit, you shall feel no pain"
Gripping her whackity with a firm might blow
She hacked at his wooble balls that hung there below
She trimmed and she cut, she cut and she trimmed
For now he had normal sized woobles balls hanging within
The man then smiled with a big sigh of relief
"OH! Jenny thank you for my normal sized beef!"
Now he'd live life just like everyone else
No more shame or depression he'd hung on himself
If anyone knows of a person like him
You can call Jenny Booboo Whacker she's good for a trim | |
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