| how to have a great first date/ first meeting
Posted: 8/8/2007 4:34:19 PM | We have a thread "How to ruin a great first date/ first meeting"
Here is the alternative:
"how to have a great first date/ first meeting"
surprisingly there is not yet a thread for this, now we do-
share your ideas here.
Enjoy!
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| how to have a great first date/ first meeting
Posted: 8/8/2007 5:23:15 PM | ^ gee, Karen...that sounds like a blast!
I am more looking for concepts - but a short description of an afternoon adventure is cool too - or even better - a combo.
This is just my opinion, but once people who are new to internet dating ...or dating in general - get over the mindset that "o maybe this is the one " - or the alternative looking for the flaws in order to eliminate someone from the list -the better -
Replacing that mindset with "I am just going to lunch with a person who I find interesting as if meeting a friend - nothing else -no expectations beyond that whatsoever.
this is what works very well for me.
I have an experience with a lunch first meeting /date that went extremely well today.
The reason it went well (beyond the fact she was very attractive to me - which had nothing really to do with why it went well - ) ... was a few concepts used which work and this is enough for this post - I will just say "The Principle of relax"
I am no dating expert but have learned a few things by trial and error and a couple years ago I made all the classic mistakes
I can say for the last year or so 98% of first meetings/first dates have been a very good experience...no, have not met the love of my life, but have met a lot of cool people , some of which are now my friends and some of those possible lifetime friends.
to me that is success.
I am sure others have pointers and advice to share - there is always more to learn.
I think the 2% which were bad experiences for me is unacceptable for me.
with your input maybe I will become a better date and
friggin get a girlfriend already!!!
thanks | |
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| how to have a great first date/ first meeting
Posted: 8/8/2007 6:18:59 PM | Hey Bill... could have just stemmed scenario ideas off "my" thread(s)!
Very similar... but your honey will attract more bees, flies, whatever than mine - lol.
Agree in what you've both stated above. I believe in finding out enough about the person so as to feel "relaxed" and with the mindset of enjoying the moment for whatever it presents itself to be. (backround checks come later - haha)
Being flexible with changes, such as I experienced (see my post)
Surely you can walk away from almost any meeting with something gained and if you don't, well then it's at least 50% your own fault darlin'!
I wouldn't sweat that 2%, perfection is highly overrated and you'll skew the grading curve for the rest of us!
I agree that the more memorable dates, which forever bring a smile to my face were the ones that went energizer bunny on me.... kept going, going, going.... and before parting, we were figuring out something else to do a couple days out because we enjoyed each other's company. That said, being over zealous to monopolize a person's time/day as though they couldn't possibly have any other responsibilities can be a double edged sword.
If anyone has specific locale ideas in various geographical locations... I posted a thread on that too - sort of a succeddful idea exchange.
Sorry Bill, send me my advertising/PR announcement invoice. | |
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| how to have a great first date/ first meeting
Posted: 8/8/2007 6:46:21 PM | Okay, concepts on how to have a great date/first meeting? I like to approach it with no expectations placed on myself or on the other person. I'm a sensual person so I find it easier to relate to people in person than on the phone or in emails and such. So, I'm enjoying getting to know a variety of people in person.
Oh, I just reread your last post, Bill, and it says something about having no expectations too. I don't really know what else to add to it. Until I joined this site, I hadn't been out with people in a long time - romantically or otherwise - so, I'm just enjoying socializing again. My goal is to meet a potential new boyfriend, but in the meantime, I'm just enjoying being out in the world among people again. | |
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| how to have a great first date/ first meeting
Posted: 8/8/2007 6:54:35 PM | This is pretty simple..... Show up on time, smellin freshly showered, and maybe some flowers or one, and possibly somethin sweet for her.... I once took a Teddy to a blind date, she loved it, even if we did not make a 2nd date.  Also be yourself!!! | |
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| how to have a great first date/ first meeting
Posted: 8/8/2007 7:03:07 PM |
I agree that the more memorable dates, which forever bring a smile to my face were the ones that went energizer bunny on me.... kept going, going, going.... and before parting, we were figuring out something else to do a couple days out because we enjoyed each other's company.
reminds me of a little short story I wrote called "First Date" - not a very good story either - more like a chapter from a trashy romance novel...
In any case - that is very serendipitous and the point of meeting people and dating is to find those adventures, and ultimately a girlfriend(In MY OPINION)
My goal is to meet a potential new boyfriend, but in the meantime, I'm just enjoying being out in the world among people again.
You have just given a great definition / example of the principle of relax , which is very easy to do, but sometimes if the other person is doing the opposite, then it becomes more problematic.
I actually came up with something very, very cool to do on a first date/meeting thing today with this really wonderful young lady. It was after lunch as we were just window shopping and walking around the Harbor where I work.
Since this is long enough - I'll mention that in another post - meanwhile I want to hear from you and you you and you.
The idea is if we can share what works, and everyone participating will provide us with some good information which will improve all of our experiences here at plentyoffish.com!
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| how to have a great first date/ first meeting
Posted: 8/8/2007 7:59:48 PM | I think you're reading what puts a smile on YOUR face into the smile on MY face.
I was talking about a date that IS relaxed and easygoing and just flows... but alas, did not end as a tawdry romance chapter. Turn the page...
(any further use of the word you/your is purely a generalization and not to be taken in any way shape or form, personally by anyone)
As far as turning dates, be it first, 2nd, 8th or otherwise ( at what point do you quit counting?) into a steady flow and that desired SO stage "we" quest, is to first and foremost, be yourself... plain and simple.
No, I mean reeeeeeally be yourself - offer up a tidbit of you that is revealing, unexpected and know that if you aren't accepted in this freefall, you never will be or eventually wouldn't be once someone more interesting came along.
Realizing you need to step out of your box a bit and fit into their skin
(oh now, stop it!) to help them feel more comfortable and reciprocate is the means to the end.
Listen... the key is to ask and listen, then delve a little deeper to find the common grounds, as well as the new and different qualities about said subject SO applicant.
Oh, and good eye contact... those aren't my eyes mister!
And if you really expect somebody to post their die hard trade dating method(s) that never fails... think something funny in that pipe... cuz they wouldn't be here in this sea! | |
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| how to have a great first date/ first meeting
Posted: 8/9/2007 4:26:10 PM | I have three rules for a great first date/meeting:
1. Trust my instincts. (The only bad first dates/meetings I've had are those when I met the guy even though my gut was telling me no).
2. Be myself.
3. No expectations (with the exception of expecting to make a new friend). | |
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| how to have a great first date/ first meeting
Posted: 8/9/2007 4:48:10 PM |
Replacing that mindset with "I am just going to lunch with a person who I find interesting as if meeting a friend - nothing else -no expectations beyond that whatsoever.
I've found that this is the best way to approach the first date. I don't like to spend too much time writing/talking before the first meet. See if that chemistry is there. If it's not, I've wasted weeks corresponding with the intent of dating. Just be friends first.
I have never left a first date early, simply because I am personable and enjoy meeting many kinds of people. Go with that mindset and no one will be too disappointed. | |
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| how to have a great first date/ first meeting
Posted: 8/9/2007 7:14:40 PM | | I know this one.... Have low expectations- wait, that wasn't it.... Keep your expectations high- no, that wasn't it, either... Don't underestimate your opponent- no, that's not it... Don't let them smell your fear- no, that was something else... OK, I got nothin'. | |
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| how to have a great first date/ first meeting
Posted: 8/10/2007 11:15:06 AM |
I know this one.... Have low expectations- wait, that wasn't it.... Keep your expectations high- no, that wasn't it, either... Don't underestimate your opponent- no, that's not it... Don't let them smell your fear- no, that was something else... OK, I got nothin'.
Going out with 5 someone's at once? LOL..... That was funny V T, I liked your comment.
ME? The best way to have a great first date, is by picking the right person. If you didn't.... Jack Daniel's always works. | |
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| how to have a great first date/ first meeting
Posted: 8/10/2007 11:21:41 AM |
The best way to have a great first date, is by picking the right person.
Ok, just how does one do that? I see that statement as quite similar to the best way to be rich is to have a lot of money.
Jack Daniel's always works.
Not anymore. | |
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| how to have a great first date/ first meeting
Posted: 8/10/2007 11:37:58 AM | LMAO Hi eeek
I see that statement as quite similar to the best way to be rich is to have a lot of money.
Actually, the best way to be rich...... is to have a lot of money... wait... is there an echo in here?
You have to believe that is a very true statement.
Now, If you don't have money and you want to be rich, that one doesn't work for you. so... you go to plan B.
Same thing with first dates. The statement was true.... Realistic? sure if your lucky. cause honestly... It doesn't matter what you do on the first date, if you picked the right one... it's all great.
I was kidding about the JD.... | |
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| how to have a great first date/ first meeting
Posted: 8/10/2007 4:02:36 PM |
Actually, the best way to be rich...... is to have a lot of money... wait... is there an echo in here?
You have to believe that is a very true statement. Oh, and we women love to hear how you think we are all gold diggers too... Best that they read that post, and ditch out on you before the first date. | |
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| how to have a great first date/ first meeting
Posted: 8/11/2007 6:46:40 AM |
Going out with 5 someone's at once?
Brilliant, Jack. Invite several at once... it's not a date, but a party -- and who doesn't love a party?
... now why didn't I think of this before :) | |
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Karen5
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Joined: 4/11/2007
Msg: 18 | |
| how to have a great first date/ first meeting
Posted: 8/11/2007 6:54:31 AM | ^^^^ That reminds me of my first meeting with my last boyfriend. I met him on my birthday once upon a time - and one of my birthday gifts was a male harem of three - he was one of the 3.
That was a pretty awesome first meeting. :glow: (how come these smilies don't work all the time? grrr)
And the concept behind that one was this:
Be open to experimentation, ask for what you want, be willing to hear no, and politely negotiate. And respect all involved. | |
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