| Why are guys scared of smart girls?
Posted: 8/9/2007 12:04:52 AM | Seriously guys, why are the vast majority of guys seeking a girl who is smart, worldly, etc. scared of us girls that are smarter than a lamp post?
I have gone on a date where the guy was completely chivalrous, but when it came down to stereotype "guy-stuff" like basic car maintenance, it completely freaked him out that I knew about KnN air filters, the basic difference between 10W30 and 5W30 oil, and that the psi for my tires is 34psi on all four of them, because I have 4WD. I know I bruised his ego when I told him that, as he thought my tires should be fuller in the front than in the back.
I have also gone on dates where I could talk intelligently about my political views, world events, etc. but the second the conversation turns to anything that has been traditionally a "male" topic, and can converse about it, they freak out, and I never hear from them again?? I don't pretend to be all knowing, and I certainly ask questions when I don't know or understand something, but wtf? 
For those of you who are curious as to how I know about this stuff, is that I have a lot of brothers who didn't want me scared on the side of the road freaking out over what to do if my (now old and long dead) car ever broke down. I grew up with a ton of guys who lived, ate, and breathed cars, and my girlfriends dad's who were mostly strong believers that girls should know how to take care of themselves so we never had to wholly depend on someone else to get us out of trouble. And my daddy who was a firm believer that if a girl could own her own car, she should bloody well be able to look after it.
I have been a crew captain for a good friend of mine when he was racing his 1970 LeMans, and currently am only one of 10 seniority girls in my workplace of about 118 unionized employees.
Enough of my rant. Thoughts? | |
|
| Why are guys scared of smart girls?
Posted: 8/9/2007 12:16:05 AM | You know more about cars than I do. 
Seriously guys, why are the vast majority of guys seeking a girl who is smart, worldly, etc. scared of us girls that are smarter than a lamp post?
Um, knowing cars doesn't make you smart. It just means you know cars.
Maybe it's your attitude that is scaring them off?
Are you trying to be the man in the relationship? 
That scares a lot of guys off. So does bragging about your accomplishments. | |
|
| Why are guys scared of smart girls?
Posted: 8/9/2007 12:28:40 AM | ooops, maybe it was just the venting..... i hardly go so far as to say I know alot about cars... and I hardly think I am trying to "be the man" on a date....
I think it could possibly be the attitude I have (remember, I have something like 9 brothers and B-I-L), nevermind the fact that I have been single since FOREVER ago... and I KNOW i don't brag... i have a hard time talking about any accomplishments i have made.... | |
|
| Why are guys scared of smart girls?
Posted: 8/9/2007 12:30:31 AM | | Evidently, you are dating the wrong demographic. How have your choices in dating influenced your experiences? Are you attracted to men who are insecure and intellectually inferior to you? Are you yourself intimidated by men who are strong, confident and smart? The vast majority of men are highly attracted to competent, confident women, especially to women who aren't helpless puff balls. | |
|
| Why are guys scared of smart girls?
Posted: 8/9/2007 12:34:23 AM | | it sounds like the stereotypical "ive been de-masculated" reaction. alot of guys like to invision themselves as playing the superior role within any given relationship. this is especially true when it comes to male dominated hobbies/professions such as auto-mechanics. by challenging their viewpoints they react in a defensive manner, probably from a combination of bewilderment and ego. as for the political aspects, that really depends on the person. i love hearing peoples outlook no matter how right wing and off balance it is with mine. some people want to expand their knowledge and push their own parameters, while others choose to belive that they hold the key to an ultimate global perspective; its life. in regards to your brothers, the helpless woman in distress scenario is embedded in every male brain. rescuing an individual has a certain aura of sexuality and respect involved, too many its appealing. in short, your experiancing some true male stereotypes with a dash of incompatible personalities. take care | |
|
| Why are guys scared of smart girls?
Posted: 8/9/2007 12:54:11 AM | If being smart isn't working for you, try acting a bit dumb when it comes to guy stuff. We'll think it's cute if you don't overdo it & forgive you later
A lot of people confuse smart with boring. Maybe you have that problem too, I can't see us all being scared away because a girl knows something about cars | |
|
| Why are guys scared of smart girls?
Posted: 8/9/2007 2:08:29 AM | | The above does not apply to me at all, and I am a male. I like to be with woman I could maybe see myself with in the future or can at least be serious about, and if she doesn't have much intelligence then I would not want anything serious with her. It would be just casual, but if she is intelligent that would be a definite plus in my book. I, especially, like girls who are very articulate, write well, express themselves well. If they know about cars a lot, and I don't that might make feel a little embarassed, but if she wants to teach me that would make me feel better about it...................Stay smart, don't play dumb:) Do you really want to go out with losers, anyway? | |
|
| |
| |
| Why are guys scared of smart girls?
Posted: 8/9/2007 3:40:22 AM |
I have gone on a date where the guy was completely chivalrous, but when it came down to stereotype "guy-stuff" like basic car maintenance, it completely freaked him out that I knew about KnN air filters, the basic difference between 10W30 and 5W30 oil, and that the psi for my tires is 34psi on all four of them, because I have 4WD. I know I bruised his ego
Personally, I would have handed you the rag and asked you to do the regular maintenance checks on the car while I went to cut the lawn on my rider - while drinking a beer.
| |
|
| Why are guys scared of smart girls?
Posted: 8/9/2007 3:47:48 AM | Trust me. I doubt it's because you're smart/strong/independant. MAYBE it is. But I doubt it.
Now can we all PLEASE stop trying to blame positive qualities on why guys aren't interested in you, just so you can feel better? For example, being smart, positive. Being a know-it-all, negative.
Being strong, positive. Being an overbearing witch, negative.
Being independant, positive. Being aloof or unpleasable, negative. | |
|
| Why are guys scared of smart girls?
Posted: 8/9/2007 3:55:41 AM | Yeah, I think the guy earlier who said it had something to do with the attitude might have hit something. I'm also with ubk on this one and am curious to know if guys get slammed all the time for being into guy things- that women seem to think that it's somehow even more impressive when they're into them.
And then for some reason some guy you go on a date with who knows you so well that he doesn't realize you're into these things (I just got half a life story and I don't even know you) acts surprised that you are mechanically inclined and this bewilders you?
I think I know what this calls for...
Eno | |
|
| Why are guys scared of smart girls?
Posted: 8/9/2007 4:30:05 AM | I sense a huge dose of bad attitude TOWARDS men at work here-----more out of insecurity than anything. Claiming you're a woman working successfully in what you think or feel is a "mans world" doesn't do a thing to explain why you've experienced guys not sticking around with you. If you act like a guy, talk like a guy and try to be "one of the guys" that's NOT being smart or anything other than confusing to guys who like less manly women! Cars don't interest everyone---sometimes being too much into something is the turn off, not the "things" themselves.
If you're having this same problem with "all guys" you need only look to your own actions and behavior OR the types of men you choose to date. I'm guessing the solution to your problem lies somewhere between those two aspects. | |
|
| Why are guys scared of smart girls?
Posted: 8/9/2007 5:11:17 AM | Maybe your too smart to be easy pickings for casual sex and they realise they wont get that from you, then they  to the next girl. | |
|
| Why are guys scared of smart girls?
Posted: 8/9/2007 5:12:02 AM | | ditto to the other posters...and here's one more vote for a smart woman. I'd love to find someone I don't have to explain things to. I don't learn a whole lot listening to myself talk. Its definitely the type of guys you chase after. Maybe the secure guys aren't interested in you for some reason? :) Otherwise I'd think they'd be chasing you... | |
|
| Why are guys scared of smart girls?
Posted: 8/9/2007 6:01:21 AM | I don't believe 'guys are scared of smart girls' - if I did believe that I'd be in a pickle.
I'm a smart girl - independent, self-sufficient, hard-worker, busy. Just how it is. Age, geography, schedule, personal history, preferences etc. all contribute to why an initial interest segueing into first date so often doesn't go further. Not to mention timing. For each of us there are various reasons why interest is sparked and then dwindles. Respect your intelligence, learn even more, take care of yourself, nurture curiosity. Works for me, regardless of first date failures. | |
|
| Why are guys scared of smart girls?
Posted: 8/9/2007 6:37:16 AM | It almost seems to me that you are confusing mechanical ability with being smart. Just becasue you know what air pressure goes into your tires does not make you smart, besides it's on a sticker on the inside of your car door, or it just means you read the owners manual. Carrying on an intelligent conversation about world happenings and politics and subjects of concern would make me think more that you are smart. Even those things are subject to interpretation.
I have been wrenching on cars for almost 25 years of my 33 and do not consider myself smart because of it. I consider myself knowledgeable in the field of auto mechanics. | |
|
| Why are guys scared of smart girls?
Posted: 8/9/2007 6:53:02 AM | Tell you what, Alberta...in addition to the sound advice (since you're asking) from the other men, understand there's something men do NOT appreciate in women: COMPETITIVENESS WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX
In general, men aren't looking for competition--juHEEzus it seems that everything in life is a competitive event, why get involved with someone who hasn't learned to put down the gloves, the wall, lose the sequoia (aka chip) on her shoulder, etc.? Who needs yet another chain 'n anchor? It's sooooooo damned exhausting that people will avoid you as a matter of self-preservation.
I figure that if a person feels compelled to compete with the other sex that person will come out losing in the end. The old psychotherapist question comes to mind: Would you rather be right, or happy? Precious few people have succeeded in obtaining both concomitantly.
Experience does not equal smart; it equals experience. There are degrees of smart, too. Smart, as in knowing everything and intelligent enough to know when to stop bragging about how smart you are. Then there's intellectualism, or the ability to form and sustain disciplined, well-thought-out positions and opinions involving complex interrelationships, systems, and philosophies based on empirical and statistical information. | |
|
| Why are guys scared of smart girls?
Posted: 8/9/2007 7:12:02 AM | Maybe it's just a matter of tact. Like Dale Carnegie said, nobody likes to be told they're wrong - especially when they are. So maybe when something inaccurate comes out of someone's mouth, just nod and smile and don't correct them. It's no skin off your nose. Like "oh, thank you for sharing this information about my tires. I will look into it. So how about this weather we're having?"
Good luck. | |
|
| Why are guys scared of smart girls?
Posted: 8/9/2007 7:26:28 AM | Are you kidding?
I looooovvvvvveeeeeee intelligent woman.
I am totally attracted to Teachers, Nurses, or any other occupation that requires someone to be educated and use their mind.
It is a total turn on to me.
I looked at the OP profile and it looks to me like she is an excessive smoking alcoholic.
You usually don't find people with high intellignece sitting in a smoky bar every night.
Maybe the problem isn't with men, its where you go to meet men.
If you were in the University Library instead of the bar you might find a different breed of guy.
Just a thought.
 | |
|
| |
| Why are guys scared of smart girls?
Posted: 8/9/2007 7:50:47 AM | smart.. dumb... usally we just want pretty!
we will put up with a really dumb girl and feel dumb around a smart girl if she is pretty enough. | |
|
| Why are guys scared of smart girls?
Posted: 8/9/2007 8:14:24 AM | whats wrong with competitiveness, it is that competitiveness that makes certain normal platonic relationships work very well.. i think its insecurities on the male part that they wouldn't stick around, because they were hoping to have someone stroke their ego.. maybe they were knowledegable about cars, and not much else? And they just wanted some facet of the relationship to be their expertise.. who knows.
Personally i'd love to meet a girl who knows more about the stuff I like than me, because then I can grow and challenge myself and her to grow.
stop dating cowards and find some real people ! | |
|
| Why are guys scared of smart girls?
Posted: 8/9/2007 8:15:53 AM | Well I would have to say that in general guys aren't scared of smart girls. I'm sure that there are some guys out there scared, or intimidated to one degree or another... but generally thats not the issue.
Most of the "smart" gals out there that I know that have issues similiar to this, actually comes from the way they act and speak. Could be the tone of voice they use, how they display their "smarts" (A gal who goes out of her way to show off her intellect, is still a show off) Or could simply be teh way they treat others around themselves. No offense to anyone but alot of the really intelligent women I knew could be pretty disrepectful and or condesending in their attitudes (wethere on purpose or not).
My advice is to ask a third party to perhaps monitor your behavior around men, or simply ask for an honest evaluation on how you act from a friend or three. We all sometimes have trouble identifying personal flaws.... not to say that it IS you... but I've never ever turned a girl away for being intelligent or knowledgeble(sp?). | |
|
| Why are guys scared of smart girls?
Posted: 8/9/2007 8:20:16 AM |
whats wrong with competitiveness, it is that competitiveness that makes certain normal platonic relationships work very well.. i think its insecurities on the male part that they wouldn't stick around, because they were hoping to have someone stroke their ego Nothing wrong with competitiveness, Davood, but I'm not into the "anything you can do I can do better" kind. Isn't it okay to RE-freakin-LAX??? | |
|
Home
login 
