| Hints that men and women make and how their partners respond
Posted: 8/9/2007 9:00:18 AM | The last time I started a thread it was shot down in five seconds, but where we go. In another thread the conversation moved to the idea of hints that men and women make to tell their partners of their intentions. One person indicated that women are impossible to interpret, that their hints are hard to get and they did nothing but confuse men. I tended to differ, women send constantly signals about their intend, and even though I don't know all of them, and they are not necessarily a green light for sex, they are signals that say, I am opening up, I like you, or equally, move back, I am not ready and so on and so forth. So the question. Ladies, tell us signals you consciously give the person you are with. Guys, tell us, signals that seem confusing to you. Ladies, tells us signals you get from men, and what do you do about it. Throw in a personal experience, even a pet peeve.
OutMind
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| Hints that men and women make and how their partners respond
Posted: 8/9/2007 9:12:13 AM | | I'm not a particularly patient person. If I want something, I'll straight up ask for it, no hinting needed. I'll ask nicely, but it's much faster than trying to get the guy to guess what I want or need. Hints are for high school. A mature relationship - of any kind, be it boyfriend/girlfriend, married, or one-nighter - should be open enough that either party can speak freely and not resort to head games or subtleties. | |
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| Hints that men and women make and how their partners respond
Posted: 8/9/2007 9:43:32 AM | | Why beat around the bush and play the damn hard to get game I thought we were all adults here. Stop playing the teenage games. Really who has time for the bull$hit of trying to interpret signals say what you mean mean what you say simple as that. | |
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| Hints that men and women make and how their partners respond
Posted: 8/9/2007 9:55:22 AM | I also hate signals and hints. I say cut to the chase and ask for what you want. It can be done tactfully. The worst thing that can happen is that they can only say no.
Hinting around is from another era and downright manipulative. One of my relatives used to drive me crazy by saying that perhaps she should hint around about wanting such and such from so and so. I used to tell her that hinting often falls on blind and deaf and when the other individual doesn't pick up on it or recognizes the manipulation and fails to respond as intended, you lose.  | |
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| Hints that men and women make and how their partners respond
Posted: 8/9/2007 9:59:16 AM | Prettiest says:
Hints are for high school. A mature relationship - of any kind, be it boyfriend/girlfriend, married, or one-nighter - should be open enough that either party can speak freely and not resort to head games or subtleties.
Okay, let's play with that notion. Completely straight forward. So you go out on a date, maybe one, two, three and you like this person. What do you do, say, Wanna f*ck? That direct? Is that what you do? | |
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| Hints that men and women make and how their partners respond
Posted: 8/9/2007 10:05:13 AM | "What do you do, say, Wanna f*ck? That direct? Is that what you do? "
You can have an open discussion and be a little more tactful, but sure why not?
Something like hey you know we have been seeing each and enjoying each others company for a while now and I think it is time to progress to the next level would you feel that sex is appropriate at this time? She had many choices but at least you arent being dissrespectful and wondering well should I or shouldnt I just maul her and see what happens. | |
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| Hints that men and women make and how their partners respond
Posted: 8/9/2007 10:05:31 AM | | Maybe not come out and say it butwhen you are on the couch making out....Maybe I'll take my shirt off...Maybe I'll unzip her pants and go down on him/her...Maybe I'll lead them to the bedroom...Perhaps if I'm feeling extra frisky I'll come right out and say it...But there are ways to make it plainly obvious without speaking a word... | |
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| Hints that men and women make and how their partners respond
Posted: 8/9/2007 10:06:09 AM | Interpretting signals is fun! If there is no chance for failure what fun is that?...
I think you should hand your dates an essay outlining everything you intend to do and have them checkmark spots where they agree... | |
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vhdc
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Joined: 7/18/2006
Msg: 10 | |
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| Hints that men and women make and how their partners respond
Posted: 8/9/2007 10:12:32 AM | Cleveride says:
Something like hey you know we have been seeing each and enjoying each others company for a while now and I think it is time to progress to the next level would you feel that sex is appropriate at this time?
Question: How often have you said that? And what was her response? | |
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| Hints that men and women make and how their partners respond
Posted: 8/9/2007 10:15:26 AM | | Havent dated that much but the couple of times I have said it I have had success, believe it or not but it is the truth. By the time it comes to that point they know me weel enough to not be offended by me asking. | |
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| Hints that men and women make and how their partners respond
Posted: 8/9/2007 12:01:05 PM | We are currently in Stardate 1.0342.4427 and have been dating for 11.7 million nanoseconds... it is at this point I would think it appropriate for you to place your ankles in your hoop earrings while naked and let me giv'er...
(wait for the laughing to subside...)
Insert when she is positioned correctly... | |
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| Hints that men and women make and how their partners respond
Posted: 8/9/2007 1:04:51 PM |
Prettiest says:
Hints are for high school. A mature relationship - of any kind, be it boyfriend/girlfriend, married, or one-nighter - should be open enough that either party can speak freely and not resort to head games or subtleties.
Okay, let's play with that notion. Completely straight forward. So you go out on a date, maybe one, two, three and you like this person. What do you do, say, Wanna f*ck? That direct? Is that what you do?
I'm always up front about what I want. I don't know why this is so difficult to grasp. I'm rarely that blunt or tactless as what you've suggested above. | |
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| Hints that men and women make and how their partners respond
Posted: 8/9/2007 1:17:56 PM | | lol. OutMind, if you think I'm going to do a play-by-play of how I get some, you're mistaken. If you'd like to know the details, shoot me an email and we'll talk. But I guarantee there's no hinting, and I don't tiptoe around the issue. I realize you want to make your point that women send confusing signals and it's hard to comprehend the sh1t that we do, but I'm not that girl. | |
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| Hints that men and women make and how their partners respond
Posted: 8/9/2007 1:19:04 PM | Maybe I am a little old fashioned, but I want the courting ritual. I am not going to wait forever either... You will know when I am interested and ready, and I would not mind if someone took me out a few times and brought sex up...
However I have had someone use the "So when are we gonna fu&k" and I never saw him again. If he had been more gentlemanly about it, I was more than ready. There is nothing wrong with suggesting that you want the relationship to progress, but you do need to be a gentlman when bringing it up. | |
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| Hints that men and women make and how their partners respond
Posted: 8/9/2007 1:31:17 PM |
I realize you want to make your point that women send confusing signals and it's hard to comprehend the sh1t that we do, but I'm not that girl.
Alas. I'm actually not trying to make a point against women, or women being confusing with their signals. There are some that are, but there are some that are very direct yet use subtlety. Even Cleverdess, in his direct asking indicated that he had to take his girl there. What that means in my book, and I could be wrong, is that there was more non-verbal communication, or communication about other things that hints, or warms up the relationship.
Now, the interesting thing to me is that half the time people send signal without even realizing they are sending signals. | |
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| Hints that men and women make and how their partners respond
Posted: 8/9/2007 2:30:52 PM | It's pretty simple... lots of eye contact, small touches, standing close. Sharing personal space is probably the biggest hint you'll ever get.
and just an FYI, asking if you can do anything (hold hands, kiss, touch) is a big turn off. So don't ever ask me if you can, just do it and if I'm not comfortable with it I'll let you know and direct the focus to a different activity. I won't hold it against anyone if they misinterpreted a little bit. | |
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| Hints that men and women make and how their partners respond
Posted: 8/9/2007 4:04:45 PM | I think what the op is talking about was covered well by Sherilyn, it is primarily body language and most women tend to decrease the personal space as they become more comfortable with the individual. If you kiss someone and they are not ready for the tonsillectomy, they will pull back. If you do not understand these things, watch a few chick flicks for God's sake.
While we assume that someone in a relationship is not still "sending signals," unfortunately many couples continue this b.s. throughout the relationship which is one of the reasons that many fail. Some people believe that the other should know them well enough, or love them enough, to "know" what is bothering them or what they want.
And while in some instances this is probably true, the spouse/SO should know (i.e. don't get a girl a blender for Valentine's Day even if it is one that she has been wanting for months), if you want something, you need to tell someone. You cannot fault another for their inability to read your mind. | |
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| Hints that men and women make and how their partners respond
Posted: 8/9/2007 4:34:28 PM | I'm wondering if this thread has gone a little awry here?
I didn't think the original post was about game playing particularly and I applaud all those men and women here who can be open and honest about what they want 
But wasn't a little of the original question about non-verbal stuff, and hints, and isn't that all part of the excitement and anticipation? For instance, I know there is nothing more exciting then wanting someone to kiss you and I know I for one love that bit when you're first out with someone and it's all a bit 'do they like me, will they won't they?'. Sure, I could kiss them first, or tell them 'you can kiss me now' but sometimes it's just more FUN to take a little bit longer over sipping your wine then you need to, or licking your lips alot, to see if their eyes are drawn to your mouth, or looking in their eyes and dragging it out and not being quite sure if it's going to happen  
ah. sigh. | |
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| Hints that men and women make and how their partners respond
Posted: 8/10/2007 7:14:32 AM |
But wasn't a little of the original question about non-verbal stuff, and hints, and isn't that all part of the excitement and anticipation?
My intend was not so much the complaining and nagging, but rather those things that we like and enjoy. For instance, there was this one woman I went out with and her thing was pulling at my tie. She would tug one side, brush it and then aligned it again. It was totally non-verbal, but totally sensual. | |
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