| How do you end it?
Posted: 8/11/2007 10:22:20 PM | There seems to be lots of annoyance over the way that people end a connection or relationship with someone they met on-line. It would be interesting to find out how people have ended communications with someone that was other than just the POF "poof" and they're gone.
Ended after emails only? telphone calls? the meet and greet? a few dates? or after a longer period of time. How did you go about doing this with compassion (and perhaps a little style? :-). Maybe the "poofers" will pick up some tips and it won't be such an epidemic!!! | |
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| How do you end it?
Posted: 8/12/2007 5:42:08 AM | The best way to end things is to sleep with them on the first date Only kidding.....or am I?
If you have met the person, then you should finish the saga face to face. If you are chatting on line, then the best way to end things is during your chat sessions.
Ignoring someone is NOT the way to, it's rude, selfish and unacceptable. | |
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Tramp
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Joined: 2/8/2007
Msg: 3 | |
| How do you end it?
Posted: 8/12/2007 7:39:39 AM | It is never pleasant; most of the times an Email does it: " I am sorry, I need more, good luck".
When I originally came into this place, drove two hours to meet someone, had dinner which she cooked, but as soon as we met knew it was not there.... neither wrote nor called, it was not necessary.
Women whom I have had few dates with, would tell in person, could remain friends at least. | |
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| How do you end it?
Posted: 8/12/2007 7:45:59 AM | | I'm off to join the French Foreign Legion now. Catch ya later! | |
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| How do you end it?
Posted: 8/12/2007 2:34:29 PM | Well, how about, "it's been nice talking to you, and I wish you the best of luck in your search". If this site is still somehow involved in the matter, follow up by deleting the email exchanges, removing them from your favourites, and maybe yourself from theirs... just to ensure that the implications are clear.
I don't think that person has to get into particulars and justify their lack of (continued) interest. It's not (necessarily) like it's anyone's fault afterall. It's just the way the ball bounces.
If they hate you for your honesty, well, there is likely to be a dishonest attitude adjustment awaiting them just around the next corner.
No one likes to be rejected. And some of us really don't like having to reject someone and knowing we made an otherwsie good person feel bad, but thats the nature of the game. So it's ALL about the how... how well do you deliver, how well do you receive. | |
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| How do you end it?
Posted: 8/12/2007 4:15:53 PM | I had been on a few dates with a fellow from here. We had really clicked with emails and phone, and in person too, but something was missing. After our 3rd date I just knew it wasn't going to go further.
Our schedules were quite hectic for the following week, and I didn't want to keep emailing and phoning under the guise of continued interest. We were on IM and I brought up the subject that things had changed between us. We mutually agreed that we both were hesitant to continue.
We feel like we made a good friendship, we just are not a potential love connection. | |
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| How do you end it?
Posted: 8/12/2007 7:49:11 PM | I don't think it should be taken as an insult when one party rejects the other. In fact it is just being honest. It's not that one is a better person; but a combination of factors that contribute to the unliklihood of a successful match. I personally think the most successful matches are based on similar backgrounds,interests,personality blends,
and goals. The difficulty lies in finding that missing link....... | |
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| How do you end it?
Posted: 8/13/2007 11:16:47 PM | | i met someone from POF. he lived about an hour away from me. we were together for 9 months... we started having problems and i talked to him about it. then i gave him "another chance" ya know... to "fix" things i guess. he said things would change... but nope. it was like he was never even listening to me. he turned out to be a much different person than i thought he was. i ended up breaking up with him over the phone, surrounded by friends in a mcdonalds late one night. mind you... that isn't how i wanted things to end. i still wanted to work it out but when i told him we needed to talk he was being very forceful... insisting that the least i could do was tell him what was going on. so... i did. :-\ | |
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| How do you end it?
Posted: 8/13/2007 11:24:26 PM | | Don't let the door hit you on the way out... 'cause I don't want ass prints on my door! | |
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| How do you end it?
Posted: 8/13/2007 11:29:55 PM | | haha interesting way of looking at things :op | |
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| How do you end it?
Posted: 8/14/2007 4:26:05 AM |
The best way to end things is to sleep with them on the first date Only kidding.....or am I? If you have met the person, then you should finish the saga face to face. If you are chatting on line, then the best way to end things is during your chat sessions. Ignoring someone is NOT the way to, it's rude, selfish and unacceptable.
I would agree with this. Online relations = online dumping, phone relations = phone dumping, personal relations = personal dumping.
Don't be a chicken. Just do it. There's no way to do it that's not gonna hurt them if they've gotten emotionally involved, so at least show a shred of integrity, and do it the proper way, so that even if they were hurt, they're not left with a bitter taste in their mouth as well. I'd rather have somebody struggle to dump me in person, than to just leave a PM, or phone me to dump me if we met IRL. I'd at least have respect for her if she did it in person. If she didn't, and somebody asked about her, I'd likely say that she was spineless, and I was better off without her. | |
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| How do you end it?
Posted: 8/27/2007 4:15:02 PM | I have met a guy on POF that I really care a great deal about,however he says very rude things to me. My daughter was home from college, I wanted to spend sometime with her. His respond"Are the two of you joined at the hip" when he would ask me to go out with him. I thought"How dare you" He left the state for a week asked me to water his plants. He called once to ask how his plants were. He was only to be gone 7 days,turned into 16 days. Iwas still watering his plants. He just showed up at my house as if everything was jsut fine, then wanted sex. I said no.Asked if he could see me this week, I replyied I need to see my daughter, we have paprework that needs to be finished and she forgot a few items that I am thaking to her. His responce"Your daughter again,you will never have a man with her in the way" What should I do? Say good-bye, say I'm sorry,or just give up? | |
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| How do you end it?
Posted: 8/27/2007 7:51:45 PM |
I have met a guy on POF that I really care a great deal about,however he says very rude things to me. My daughter was home from college, I wanted to spend sometime with her. His respond"Are the two of you joined at the hip" when he would ask me to go out with him. I thought"How dare you" He left the state for a week asked me to water his plants. He called once to ask how his plants were. He was only to be gone 7 days,turned into 16 days. Iwas still watering his plants. He just showed up at my house as if everything was jsut fine, then wanted sex. I said no.Asked if he could see me this week, I replyied I need to see my daughter, we have paprework that needs to be finished and she forgot a few items that I am thaking to her. His responce"Your daughter again,you will never have a man with her in the way" What should I do? Say good-bye, say I'm sorry,or just give up?
Tell him to f*ck off and die. You don't need that crap. Your relationship with your daughter, is far more important than your relationship with him. It's blatantly obvious from what you've said, that he's using you, and has absolutely no concern for your feelings or needs. Seriously, there are lots better out there, so stop settling for less. Make sure that anyone that you enter a relationship with, understands your needs, and priorities. If they have a problem with them, then kick them to the curb. I used to be like you. I'd always settle for less, and I got used constantly, and constantly sacrificed my own needs, and priorities in favor of the person that I was with. After my last relationship, I was bitter and scorned at how bad I'd been taken for a ride, and decided that I wasn't doing that sh*t again. My new gf, understands my hangups, knows where I stand on things between her and I, and is willing to respect my needs. She was warned when we first decided to date, that if she ever tried to force me to sacrifice for her, that I'd walk away. I don't do things because I feel obligated or pressured to anymore. I do things because I want to. With my new gal, I want to do things for her, and make sacrifices for her, because she appreciates it, and does not demand it. She treats me exceptionally well, and is mindful of the fact that I'm still quite bitter and wary of what happened in past relationships. She doesn't concern herself with being upset at my hang-ups, she concerns herself with being the best partner that she can be, and doing everything she can to prevent me from ever feeling that way about her. If I had met her, before I met my three fiancées and other girlfriends along the way, I'd likely be a happily married man, and not the angry, paranoid guy, who refuses to even talk about marriage anymore out of utter contempt and loathing for the complications it caused in prior relationships.
Seriously, GTFO of that relationship. He sounds like a jerk. | |
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| How do you end it?
Posted: 9/2/2007 2:19:21 AM | | Do you think a woman would go so far as to say she was raped to end a relationship? Without going into a lot of the the details I think that's how a woman chose to end a relationship with me. But I don't see how this would be more effective than just saying you met someone else. | |
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Tramp
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Joined: 2/8/2007
Msg: 15 | |
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| How do you end it?
Posted: 9/2/2007 9:08:41 AM | I'm honest about it because I know from personal expirience how much it sucks to be left hanging. There was a guy I met [who found me on myspace of all places] and he was SUPER clingy, like wanted to be in a relationship yesterday kind of a deal, texting me all the time and wanting to know what I was doing every second of the day. So I just told him "You're a really nice guy, I had a great time with you but I'm not looking for anything super serious right now. I have a lot going on for me right now and we just need to keep it as friends." He told me he could take a hint and left me alone.
I know for me I'd rather have someone tell me "Hey I had a great time but I can't see this going anywhere." Rather than have some guy tell me he'd like to see me again and then disappear. | |
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| How do you end it?
Posted: 9/2/2007 2:04:12 PM | After a meet and greet (where I was told I was too tall, even though height was listed on my profile), I simply didn't bother saying "Hi" if she came on-line or anything. Took her off the chat list, things like that. After a couple e-mails from her, which I did respond to, she got the hint and went about her business, and I about mine.
Ignore is a good way too.
Sleeping with them on the first date? Hey...why not? If it works for you, nobody has a right to say "That's just wrong!" Maybe they should try it for themselves first! | |
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