| Benthic, but I'd rather be pelagic
Posted: 8/13/2007 6:36:56 AM | | Hi, any advice on how to improve my profile would be much appreciated. I have my suspicions as to what may be wrong with it, but I'd like to know what other users think before I make any drastic changes. I have followed the profile-writing guidelines as closely as possible (or rather as closely as I'm comfortable with), but still it's been very quiet down here . . . | |
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eazk
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Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 4 | |
| Benthic, but I'd rather be pelagic
Posted: 9/5/2007 7:34:42 AM | Except for......
The fish - Bottom Dweller - yeah, that's a notable start (note dripping sarcasm)
Intro Headling - "Benthic, but I'd rather be pelagic" - I'm fairly literate and I have no idea what this means. My guess is 99% of the girls won't, either...unless it is directly related to the age/culture of where you're at.
Smoker - Occasionally - Not a selling point, but your call......
Profession - "Voluntary sector - between jobs" - not a selling point.
Do you want children - "Does not want children" - OK, at least you know you don't, but you just exluded 98% of the female population.
Interests - Snoozer stuff...you're 28, show you're a fun, exciting, outgoing guy.
About Me - Boring intro - not going to really "get" her attention. When I read this, my thoughts are this is a 55 y.o. writing this. What does James do for fun? Do you play? Do you ever cut loose?
In a nutshell, this looks like a read from the classic mama's boy advice of "Oh, just be sweet and a nice girl will find you". And while that may be true, I wonder how many responses you're getting to this 'nice, sweet' profile.
Drop - "Thanks for reading my profile."
Add something about what it is you're looking for in a girl.
First Date - Meals, concert or theatre are typically bad...meals denote cost (you are unemployed, right?) and a locked in period of time. Concerts and theatre don't leave much time for talking and geting to know one another. | |
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| Benthic, but I'd rather be pelagic
Posted: 9/5/2007 8:23:53 AM | Thanks, eazk, you've confirmed many of my suspicions about what's wrong with my profile, or rather what's wrong with me .
Intro Headling - "Benthic, but I'd rather be pelagic" - I'm fairly literate and I have no idea what this means. My guess is 99% of the girls won't, either
Well, benthic means (ocean) bottom dwelling, pelagic means free swimming. Plenty of fish, right?
"Does not want children" - OK, at least you know you don't, but you just exluded 98% of the female population.
Not necessarily. What about women who have children already but don't want any more?
Smoker - Occasionally - Not a selling point, but your call......
Profession - "Voluntary sector - between jobs" - not a selling point.
Agree, but might as well just be open and honest about these things from the start.
Interests - Snoozer stuff...you're 28, show you're a fun, exciting, outgoing guy.
'Fraid I'm none of these things, eazk (except 28 of course). Anyway, I think environmental campaigns, science, philosophy etc. are exciting, and at least they are actually interests - you see a lot of profiles with 'going out wiv my mates' under interests, but that's not really an interest as much as a passtime to my mind.
When I read this, my thoughts are this is a 55 y.o. writing this.
Tell you the truth, I'm kinda flattered by this comment, thanks!
Drop - "Thanks for reading my profile."
Will do.
Add something about what it is you're looking for in a girl.
Ditto.
First Date - Meals, concert or theatre are typically bad...meals denote cost (you are unemployed, right?) and a locked in period of time. Concerts and theatre don't leave much time for talking and geting to know one another.
Agreed, but that really only leaves coffee or quiet pint (fine by me).
In a nutshell, this looks like a read from the classic mama's boy advice of "Oh, just be sweet and a nice girl will find you". And while that may be true, I wonder how many responses you're getting to this 'nice, sweet' profile.
Have to admit you've got a handle on me there. | |
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| Benthic, but I'd rather be pelagic
Posted: 9/5/2007 9:54:21 AM |
"Does not want children" - OK, at least you know you don't, but you just exluded 98% of the female population.
Not necessarily. What about women who have children already but don't want any more?
Ok, if THAT is what you mean, you need to spell it out - because I see that and, as a single mother, I take it to mean you don't want to deal with my kids either.
Just a suggestion. | |
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| Benthic, but I'd rather be pelagic
Posted: 9/6/2007 10:37:34 AM |
Ok, if THAT is what you mean, you need to spell it out - because I see that and, as a single mother, I take it to mean you don't want to deal with my kids either.
Thanks, it never occurred to me that it could be construed that way. | |
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| Benthic, but I'd rather be pelagic
Posted: 9/6/2007 12:00:21 PM | | I looked at your profile, looks like your suffering from some sort of over thnking depression (first impression) and likely to throw yourself off a bridge based on dark style. | |
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eazk
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Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 9 | |
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| Benthic, but I'd rather be pelagic
Posted: 7/5/2008 5:49:39 PM | | Hi, folks, thought I'd resurrect my review thread, now I've changed my username (not that that makes any difference, just been away), added some new pics, and generally spruced up my profile. | |
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| Benthic, but I'd rather be pelagic
Posted: 7/5/2008 11:35:15 PM | | I still feel the darkness alluded to in previous posts. (unsentimental?) I am sure that there are women out there that like that type of thing, but you may be narrowing the field even further. If that is your desire than you are on the right track. If, however, you wish to get more "hits" or messages from a broader spectrum of women you might want to try to be a bit more "happy" ... Dang, I hate when people tell other people to "smile more". but ... smile more! =) | |
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