Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Dealing with 'macho' guys--annoying personality traits in general~~!!      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 marmeeeeget
Joined: 6/15/2007
Msg: 1
Dealing with 'macho' guys--annoying personality traits in general~~!!Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
So I did a search for macho men--and nothing came up-here goes.

I think the situation is laughable--I'll make it short.

Went out with a guy (didn't meet online) who has been hounding me for quite some time. I didn't really know too much about him other from emails and phone calls-never really hung out one on one.

Saturday night I went into midtown to this bar that he is an investor in, and he wanted me to come there to meet people, etc...whatever. Conversation was OK--he was fun to be around--hard to tell in a bar--asked me to dinner for this week-said ok.

Later on in the night-I was outside and this some guy parallel parks his benz practically on the sidewalk-nearly knocking me over. He got out and apologized to me--no big deal. Well, mister macho man picks a fight with the guy in front of me, I ignored it and went inside. Later on that night-the car guy came up to me and was like "im sorry about earlier" i was like, it's fine...don't worry about it, whatever.

I ended up leaving the bar and went home later--next day macho man IM's me (and has been constantly) and tells me that after I left he got into a fight and whatever blah blah.

Typically, I stay away from these types of bar idiots with beer muscles- I don't find it attractive in the least, and I think fighting for no real reason is stupid and immature..

My question is this: Should you disregard someone as a potential datee based on annoying personality traits--? Is this an annoying personality trait--some guy just being a macho dude, or is it something more serious? I've known plenty of guys to get into stupid bar fights and not hit women..not asking about domestic abuse FYI.
 Geneseo
Joined: 2/27/2007
Msg: 2
Dealing with 'macho' guys--annoying personality traits in general~~!!
Posted: 8/13/2007 11:07:29 PM
He sounds like a man with a tiny penis who feels the need to compensate.

Personally, I have great respect for anyone who is willing and capable of pounding someone into the dirt when threatened, or truly provoked. However to do it without reason is moronic.
 jtw1974
Joined: 6/18/2007
Msg: 3
Dealing with 'macho' guys--annoying personality traits in general~~!!
Posted: 8/13/2007 11:20:00 PM
"Should you disregard someone as a potential datee based on annoying personality traits?"

Sister, believe you me... if you spot some annoying traits on ther first date or so... those annoying traits just get more and more annoying as you get to know a person. Let alone all that stupid tough guy crap... if it's a quality that you don't dig and pick up on it that quickly, then you are only going to focus on it.
 guitarman100
Joined: 8/25/2004
Msg: 4
Dealing with 'macho' guys--annoying personality traits in general~~!!
Posted: 8/13/2007 11:41:02 PM
I agree with geneso...........
did you do the manditory 'unit check' ?
 wpg_chick_84
Joined: 1/23/2006
Msg: 5
Dealing with 'macho' guys--annoying personality traits in general~~!!
Posted: 8/14/2007 12:03:13 AM
Have to agree with the other posters. I don't think with this guy his machoness is an annoying personality trait, I think it's a major issue. He's trying way too hard to compensate for something. Either he has a tiny pecker or he was the skinny kid everyone used to pick on, so now that he's a big guy he has to pick on everyone else to help his delicate ego. If I were you I would not see him again. He sounds like a total jerk who is already displaying violent tendencies. I'd hate to see you back in a few months/years complaining about how he beats you and disrespects you. No woman deserves that.
 K-lo
Joined: 7/31/2006
Msg: 6
Dealing with 'macho' guys--annoying personality traits in general~~!!
Posted: 8/14/2007 4:28:39 AM
Yes. I disregard any suitors whose traits annoy me. And, those traits could be something as simple as eating with their mouth open to something as complex as checking in with their mother every day to make sure they're still living their lives correctly. It makes for a very single life, but, I'd rather be single than constantly annoyed. But, I know there is hope, because I have been in long-term relationships with guys who did absolutely nothing to annoy me. So, I know they are out there.
 beachchick
Joined: 6/27/2005
Msg: 7
Dealing with 'macho' guys--annoying personality traits in general~~!!
Posted: 8/14/2007 4:49:20 AM
I don't consider someone deliberately creating violent situations (and I don't care if it's in a bar or at home) an "annoying personality trait." I consider that someone to stay away from.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 8
view profile
History
Dealing with 'macho' guys--annoying personality traits in general~~!!
Posted: 8/14/2007 5:13:28 AM
If someone standing next to me gets into a fight, there's a chance I will get pulled in during it or after when the cops show up. So, yeah, someone who always picks fights is a PITA to avoid.

In the sense of a woman, it shows this is a guy who can't figure out another way to show off...say, with big brains or something. So, yeah, I'd drop his Neanderthal a$$. Its just not a good sign.
 smartarsch
Joined: 5/4/2007
Msg: 9
Dealing with 'macho' guys--annoying personality traits in general~~!!
Posted: 8/14/2007 5:30:01 AM
It seems to me if this guy uses his fists to settle an argument with others, there's a pretty good chance he's going to eventually use them on you. Forget about him.

It all depends on the what kind of annoying personality trait a person has - some you can grow into and eventually find endearing, others will just get more annoying. A man who brags about getting into fights has a personality disorder, and will never become endearing.
 scorpiomover
Joined: 4/19/2007
Msg: 10
view profile
History
Dealing with 'macho' guys--annoying personality traits in general~~!!
Posted: 8/14/2007 5:54:43 AM
OP, I can understand your trepidation about this. And I can appreciate your disgust at guys who are always fighting someone unnecessarily.

After all, if someone was driving down the road when your child was crossing, and nearly ran him over, but got out and apologised to your child, and your child said it was OK, would you be upset at the guy?

I meet macho types all the time. But they don't pick fights in front of a woman on the first date, ever. They're not complete morons. They only pick fights once you've fallen for them, and will put up with it, because you're in love.

I would suggest that you first find out whether he does this all the time, and also ask him why he picked a fight with the guy. It's not fair to assume that he does this all the time, just because of one incident.

I only say this because I moved into a rough area, and someone picked a fight with me, on the night that I was going to ask a woman out. She did a U-turn on her behaviour, and started avoiding me like the plague. It was only months later, that I realised that every time I was out and a pretty girl approached me, and the local guys were in the vicinity, that one started on me, and that this is their standard way of dealing with competition. As for the woman, she was new to the area and did not know what they were like either. They all lied to her, and told her that they were looking for a relationship, when what they wanted was casual sex. But I couldn't even tell her that they were looking to use her, as she avoided me anyway.

I would suggest you don't make assumptions until you have the facts. If not, you might make assumptions about the guys who are violent, and clever enough to hide it until you've fallen for them.
 marmeeeeget
Joined: 6/15/2007
Msg: 11
Dealing with 'macho' guys--annoying personality traits in general~~!!
Posted: 8/14/2007 8:29:39 AM
I appreciate all the comments--I think some of you missed the point...there are plenty of guys (including my 3 older brothers and my father) that have gotten into bar fights when they were young--and they've never touched a women. Like I said in the original post--this wasn't a question for domestic abuse--I would never be naive enough to put myself in that position--and a man doesn't just come right out and hit you off the bat--there are warning signs---but is bar fighting one of them??? I don't know---

Im not sure on seeing him again-partially due to the fact that I didn't feel any real click--minus the whole macho crap. Perhaps he does have a small pecker--Who knows!

I sometimes read these threads--and I tend to think some of the women over react--background checks, freaking out on men, etc. I'm not one of those---would like to hear everything first.

And for the guy who asked me about running someone over--Of course I would be upset--but perhaps I was standing to close to the street--this is NYC after all, He didn't hit me...he apologized--so no, Im not going to pick a fight.

Still have some thinking to do

 beachchick
Joined: 6/27/2005
Msg: 12
Dealing with 'macho' guys--annoying personality traits in general~~!!
Posted: 8/14/2007 9:34:58 AM
It doesn't MATTER if he's never touched a woman. The guy goes around picking FIGHTS with random strangers over NOTHING. Do you want that in your life? Do you want to always be having to bail him out of jail?

If he never lays a hand on YOU, is it OK that he goes around punching people in bars? I mean, if that's ok with you, then he sounds like a real gem, I think you should snap him up. The fact that he has anger issues shouldn't worry you a bit, as long as he (claims to have) never hit a woman. But if you think some stranger in a car pissed him off? Wait till you have your first fight with him. No one pisses you off more than your significant other will. Just wait till you piss him off one good time.

IMO someone who goes around getting in bar fights probably spends too much time in bars too, but that's a whole other thread.
 mlm_mlm_mlm
Joined: 4/29/2007
Msg: 13
Dealing with 'macho' guys--annoying personality traits in general~~!!
Posted: 8/14/2007 9:43:38 AM
Macho guys are the easiest guys to manipulate... they are the cream puffs of all men emotionally. If you feed their ego and do it right... in a believable and mature way.... they will eat out of your hand and maybe even read poetery with you... to please you... if they like you ... and most any macho man will like anyone ....who sees him as he sees himself... as macho.

The downfall of macho men is they are often used by women... unfairly.

Not all macho men are bad... some can be reasonable... as in they do their macho bit
( within reason), you put up with it....( at least look the other way as this is a male thing) and then they do what you ask then to do. It is kinda like a lion.. who needs to roar... let them roar.
If they are half intelligent, they will not believe themselves invinible...

so the moral is: if your going to get a macho man... get a smart macho man.... one who is fair. Let him roar, do his macho dance... and then when he comes back to earth...
he can be yours.
I personally like men a little macho....
sissy, prissy men.. ladies men.. do nothing for me.
 marmeeeeget
Joined: 6/15/2007
Msg: 14
Dealing with 'macho' guys--annoying personality traits in general~~!!
Posted: 8/14/2007 9:50:11 AM
Beach--I get what you're saying and it makes sense. I would never make an excuse for a man for stupid behavior..I just wonder if it was just that--just stupid behavior..not an often occurence.

and fungal feet-he does have a great job, has his own mortgage lending company here in the city--has an investment in the bar--which I also believe why he was so free to pick fights---he knew he couldn't get in trouble.
hmm
 mahogany_rush
Joined: 7/18/2007
Msg: 15
Dealing with 'macho' guys--annoying personality traits in general~~!!
Posted: 8/14/2007 10:01:32 AM
Absolutely you should disregard and run from men like that, especially this day and age, getting into a scrap when you're young and immature is one thing cause boys will be boys, but as you mature ( supposedly) as you age getting into scraps in bars should be the last thing on your mind
Men who tend to pick fights to prove how macho they are, are usually lacking in some department, whether its not been hugged enough as a child, hugged too much as a child, there equipment is too small what ever

I always tell my female friends when you meet a guy like that RUN FOREST RUN.
 marmeeeeget
Joined: 6/15/2007
Msg: 16
Dealing with 'macho' guys--annoying personality traits in general~~!!
Posted: 8/14/2007 10:05:04 AM
He's 24, im 24--I tend to not date guys my own age, usually a bit older like late 20's early 30's--but my friends have been giving me shit about it, so I though I'd try someone my own age...not to say that late 20's early 30's don't pick fights..but well, you know what I mean...

Well, look what happens when Mary goes out with boys her own age...just that...boys. :P

So I'm going to take everyones insight because I placed this topic for that--insight... and I do believe I am going to run as fast as I can..
 prolibertate
Joined: 9/11/2005
Msg: 17
view profile
History
Dealing with 'macho' guys--annoying personality traits in general~~!!
Posted: 8/14/2007 10:11:15 AM
OP, while he may not hit women (though who knows for sure), the fact that he appears to have either an anger and/or possessive streak is *not* generally a good thing to get involved with. Mainly insecure people find that type of stuff appealing...and you don't strike me as the insecure type. Also, you stated you usually stay away from these types - so why isn't that your first instinct with this guy? Also, while you may know some people who got into bar fights and didn't hit women, that may not true for everyone who gets into a bar fight...a bar fight isn't something to base one's capability of domestic abuse on. Personally, I wouldn't want to be in the same room with someone like that; they tend to ruin the mood for everyone around them.
 mlm_mlm_mlm
Joined: 4/29/2007
Msg: 18
Dealing with 'macho' guys--annoying personality traits in general~~!!
Posted: 8/14/2007 10:13:37 AM
maybe is one of those macho types who is all ego and no brains? a bully.
Only you know...
as we are not there...
we are not seeing what you see.

You know what to do.
Don't ever be afraid to do... what you KNOW.... is best for you.

Look at me... I gave up on dating for awhile...
then in walks this awesome incredible guy.......
I had to give up all my ideas of being single.

shyte happens.
 marmeeeeget
Joined: 6/15/2007
Msg: 19
Dealing with 'macho' guys--annoying personality traits in general~~!!
Posted: 8/14/2007 10:15:52 AM
I guess I just looked at my life..and my friends, and previous guys I've dated..and I've known tons of people who have gotten into bar fights for stupid drunk reasons, and never did it again..just one of those things that happens..so I tried not to base my ENTIRE opinion of him based on that. That's all. But, I've made a decision and I'm going to stick with it. Now comes the fun part--telling him I don't want to see him, and I'm going to tell the truth--not make up a lame excuse.
 mlm_mlm_mlm
Joined: 4/29/2007
Msg: 20
Dealing with 'macho' guys--annoying personality traits in general~~!!
Posted: 8/14/2007 10:18:53 AM
dont be too hard on him...
karma, you know.

One day he may come down to earth... stop being a bully...
you will see him somewhere and he will think...
that was one classy woman.
She was kind to me even though I didnt deserve it... when she
rightfully dumped me.

and it could be the beginning of something good. After all your very young people.

Unless he is scary or threatening you.. off the wall...
be a good breaker upper.

karma, you know.

and...
if he ever goes to being a serial killer, or bad ass billy
or turns into TONY SOPRANO...
he will not WANT TO hunt you down... lol.. and kill you
if you are a good breaker upper.
 Guymidwest
Joined: 9/12/2005
Msg: 21
view profile
History
Dealing with 'macho' guys--annoying personality traits in general~~!!
Posted: 8/14/2007 10:19:22 AM
I agree. Machismo is highly overrated. It causes more problems than not. Also, if they want to go to jail for shoving someone who has the guts to press charges or sue their ass, more power to them cause thats all it takes. Me, I'm a lover, not a fighter. :) It just doesnt make sense to me to cause trouble when there doesnt need to be any. People have enough trouble in their lives.
 Bikeman_
Joined: 10/8/2005
Msg: 22
Dealing with 'macho' guys--annoying personality traits in general~~!!
Posted: 8/14/2007 10:28:14 AM
I have enough real drama in my life; personally I avoid drama queens like they are the plague, unless you enjoy involving yourself with guys who invent unnecessary drama, why consider dating a guy like this?
 AngelicGoddess
Joined: 4/9/2005
Msg: 23
view profile
History
Dealing with 'macho' guys--annoying personality traits in general~~!!
Posted: 8/14/2007 1:33:03 PM
LOL this reminds me of a conversation the other night..

now mind you I have dated quite a few roid monkeys and thier types without so uch problem (aside from the anger, and jealousy) but this guy honestly went off ona 2 hour rant about attractive he is, and all his qualities, the measurments of his arms etc, and how girls are all over him, and his fast cars...

This was all after I clearly lost all interest, and tried to end the conversation after his mentioning his being unemployed and living at home.....

I guess some people with really low self esteem try to over-compensate to not show it, but gawd, i felt like blowing my damn head off after that conversation.
 KitNbootz
Joined: 5/31/2007
Msg: 24
Dealing with 'macho' guys--annoying personality traits in general~~!!
Posted: 8/14/2007 2:48:30 PM
Marm, you should bail. This guy will soon be picking fights with YOU and beating YOU up next. Trust me, these guys are crazy. They'll pick fights about anything with anyone and everyone including YOU. I'd hate to see you hurt or worse, beat up, so bail before he turns his rage and anger on you. You're a great woman and you can definitely do better.

Happy fishing.
 notajoke
Joined: 4/26/2007
Msg: 25
Dealing with 'macho' guys--annoying personality traits in general~~!!
Posted: 8/15/2007 2:21:30 AM
If you like older men that is your business. Sounds as though your friends are interfering a little too much in your love life.

Don’t bother to explain yourself to a nutter as he will only try to save his ego. Send him an email and then block him, if he does not take no for an answer. You are doing well to make the choice to move away from people from your past who are a negative influence in your life.

Yes I would disregard someone as a potential date based on annoying personality traits. I would find that to be an annoying personality trait and aggression is a big red flag.
Sure he may never hit a woman but I found myself literally walking on egg shells around a man my age that would get annoyed and break or throw things and use road rage. It wore me out and I later realized that it was a form of torture for me. Walk away, nobody needs that in their life.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Dealing with 'macho' guys--annoying personality traits in general~~!!