| dating,seeing others,going together
Posted: 8/14/2007 6:25:07 AM | this sounds like a high school question but i had to ask,as alot of people see these three things differently.
what is your meaning of dating?can you,should you,is it alright to date more then one person?
seeing others!does this mean you are seeing more then one person?
going together!does this mean it is just you and the other person only?
put in factors that others know you are looking to settle down,saying there is no sex involved,just getting to know people and see if the have or share some interest.
i know i'm going to get alot of feed back on this,some postive,some negitive,but would like to hear what others think and feel on this. | |
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| dating,seeing others,going together
Posted: 8/14/2007 8:31:37 AM | Dating: Done in pairs, one member of the pair asks the other member to attend an event with him/her. The event might be dinner out, seeing a movie, going dancing, attending a concert, or visiting a zoo or museum or art gallery. You get the picture.
Seeing others: The pair is not 'bonded' so each member of it also 'goes out' with some other person or persons. This happens a lot and isn't a bad thing as long as it's understood by all parties concerned, and no one person gets hurt by these actions.
Going together: A term used in High School times, it means that a pair has 'bonded' and is now a 'couple'. This may or may not be a permanent situation.
That is my understanding of the terms you stated. But you must remember that it's also a generational thing, and today's generation may have different ideas about the meanings. In 'my day' there was no such thing as friends with benefits, you either were or were not a slut, we were an unforgiving bunch of narrow minded people those days. In a way, I'm still a victim of my times, but I'm glad to see that things are changing now.
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| dating,seeing others,going together
Posted: 8/14/2007 10:08:34 AM | mara's definitions seem to be right on, but i have to comment on the "going together" one.
the only time i have ever heard it referred to as "going together" have been from a couple of older than myself men. I have never heard those words from a younger person and never from a woman/girl. It seems to be a term used by men who are afraid that you might 'expect' some sort of commitment if the word 'dating' were used instead. | |
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| dating,seeing others,going together
Posted: 8/14/2007 10:44:23 AM | | My interpretation of these sayings are the same as Mara's. My generation was a little after hers. I was at the start of the "Make Love not War" generation. A lot of the girls "made out" with the guy they were "going together" with. There were also the girls that felt free to do what they wanted with any guy. I only heard girls call other girls "sluts" when I got the feeling that they were "jealous" , for some reason. Of course, back then, we only had to worry about VD, which was bad enough. The only time I was called a slut was when I wouldn't have sex with a certain guy one night . I didn't mind because it showed all the people that was at that gathering, that I didn't do anything with him (which was important to me then) He was the one who called me it. (He sort of told on himself.Ha Ha). I didn't hear the "friends with benefits" thingy until I joined POF. BTW...that guy and I laugh about it these days. | |
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| dating,seeing others,going together
Posted: 8/14/2007 7:29:13 PM | to me if you are dating someone seeing someone or interested in anyone else you shouldnt be investing any time on anyone else....its fine to hang out with other people but make sure everyone knows where they lay in the situation....if you are just getting to know people and hangin out cool but why take a chance and ruin a good thing by going out with others....
but thats only my 2 cents.... | |
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| dating,seeing others,going together
Posted: 8/15/2007 2:44:15 PM | I must say that I agree in principle with angel honeybear on the investment thing. It's hard to claim to be invested in something( someone) if you are "dating" several others as well. What I was dating, I made it very clear that I do not date more than one person at a time. I prefer to spend time getting to know one person rather than juggle several and try to keep notes ...I never did multi task well and to add that to the mix of dating several simultaneously is a hazard I feel best avoided. ( Not that it has often been an option...lol) It only seems fair to give a person a chance before deciding that they are, or are not, right for me.
Many others do not and that is their personal choice. What they do and why they do it may have a great deal to do with what they are seeking as an end result. As for what dating means, it means different things to different people, under different circumstances. People who are not seeking a long term committment and are just spending casual time with several different people are quite content to be "just dating". To limit that to one person would be ludicrous as that is not what they are looking for. As long as the parties involved know what's what... who else cares? or should care ?.. for that matter.
Once things progress to a " seeing someone exclusively" or "going together" stage, (I think that has replaced the old term from our teenaged years of "going steady") ,
that implies a commitment of sorts, although not a formal one. Just the next step in the whole "process".
"Seeing others" pretty much speaks for itself. If they are "seeing " you and tell you that they are "seeing others", that is a pretty good indicater that they are not really "into you" or not that into you "yet"....or they are in an exploratory phase ....or... they are just looking for casual , random "dates".. and not looking to be "into anybody". | |
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| dating,seeing others,going together
Posted: 8/15/2007 5:24:52 PM | i love the answers there great!but for me,dating is just spending time with a man/women.be it dinner,movies,walks...etc.getting to know each other and see if it may go to the other stage!maybe it should be called hanging out with the opposite sex lol.
we all have our own views and our reasons why we see them in certain ways.it is what makes us who we are.
great,honest answers!!!thanks guys! | |
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| dating,seeing others,going together
Posted: 8/15/2007 6:14:09 PM | I personally can only date or get to know one guy at a time. Call me old fashioned but I just can't "play the field". Actually, I don't know how people do it....you'd think it would be confusing.  I do good to remember their names let alone 2 or 3 of them at the same time.
I actually just changed my profile cause I'm only talking to a couple of fellas & I'm getting confused.  | |
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| dating,seeing others,going together
Posted: 8/17/2007 6:42:32 AM | | i guess it's like everything,what works for some does not always work for others!we all have our reasons for the things ''we''think is right or what ''we''think it should be! | |
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| dating,seeing others,going together
Posted: 8/17/2007 7:19:10 AM | | Exactly the point crazygurl... the only way to know what the definitions are in any "relationship" is to ask the other party and compare yours with theirs. Make sure that you are both on the same page and that's all that really matters. The actual definitions of things are not all that important as long as you both undersatand where you are with each other. | |
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| dating,seeing others,going together
Posted: 8/17/2007 5:26:28 PM | | I couldn't have said it better honeybear, if you are getting to know someone you believe is relationship material, you should give it the same attention. To me dating is a different level then seeing others or hanging out. Dating involves a commitment on both individuals to get to know each other better. Just my thoughts on this. | |
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| dating,seeing others,going together
Posted: 8/20/2007 3:12:16 PM | isn't dating getting to know a person?at least it is to me!you go on a date to see if there are any common grounds.how or why would i date only one person,till i got to know them???i look as it as hanging out,getting to know a person.
just my thoughts!!!!! | |
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| dating,seeing others,going together
Posted: 8/20/2007 4:06:09 PM | exactly i agree you go on dates to meet people but once you meet someone who catches your eye why date others...i guess to go on a date is one thing but once you start dating it means you are committed to that one person....
only my thoughts... | |
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| dating,seeing others,going together
Posted: 8/20/2007 4:08:28 PM | | agree,if i go one two or more yes!!!but to go on a first date is just that!i feel that is why we date,to find someone who will have common ground! | |
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| dating,seeing others,going together
Posted: 8/22/2007 9:07:51 AM | Dating: Throwing dates that have gone bad at someone who really annoys you.
Seeing others: Checking over your neighbour's fence to see if his dates are nice than yours.
Going together: Grabbing a friend to help boost you over your neighbours fence to sneak off with said dates.
Quite straightforward and easier to remember.
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| dating,seeing others,going together
Posted: 8/22/2007 2:01:09 PM | dating and seeing others is close to the same thing in my opinion. Dating usually isn't too serious, more so to get to know the person and see if there's chemistry.
Going together/going steady/ going out- is basically exclusively seeing that one person.
Would it be considered cheating if that person you were seeing had a split personality? | |
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| dating,seeing others,going together
Posted: 8/22/2007 4:43:25 PM | lol @ matty... only if you are dating more than one of the personalities.... then it might get a little dicey..
Disclaimer.. no offense to anyone who actually suffers from a mental illness such as MPD | |
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| dating,seeing others,going together
Posted: 8/22/2007 4:50:54 PM | been a while since I've trolled these boards.. I might be doing alot of this tonight..
I dunno as I said I see dating as a way to get to know someone and kind of see who really interests you. For instance, I love lamp and pina coladas! So if I do a search to narrow down all the women that like the same things I may find a few . | |
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| dating,seeing others,going together
Posted: 8/23/2007 4:52:05 PM | you're thoughts are exactly right but why is it that alot of guys see it that way.
for some guys dating someone just gives them a liscense to look around for someone they think might be better insead of giving the one they are dating the attention they deserve. | |
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| dating,seeing others,going together
Posted: 8/25/2007 2:37:36 AM | If you were shopping for a new dress, would you buy the first one you looked at ? If you tried on a bunch, wouldn't one kinda stand out and grab you as a "buy me" ? Can't you imagine that after you buy it and wear it a buncha times, it may become your very "favourite" ? Don't we all wear our new stuff more frequently at first. How does it eventually end up in the back of the closet ? Isn't life kinda like that ?
Social relationships and a degree of committiment is a lot less frivoulous than a shopping decision. Unfortunately, the stores won't let you wear the dress a buncha times before the purchase decision has to be made. But also you aren't making a committment to wear it every day. and I'm not suggesting this early on degree of committment will extend to wearing it "forever", no one extended the thought to that YET. :) | |
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| dating,seeing others,going together
Posted: 8/25/2007 6:01:46 AM |  liked it!!!true and i agree,as long as everyone knows where you stand,not hurting anyone,it's the way to go!!! | |
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| dating,seeing others,going together
Posted: 8/25/2007 9:18:38 AM | At least when you are trying on dresses... the newest choice doesn't get it's feeling hurt when you talk about how pretty or how sexy the last dress was that you tried on, or how hot the next one is, because it is already picked out.
Why do SOME guys who date several women sequentially, feel the need to tell each new one about all the others? I met 2 guys, actually,who went so far as to name names...and give unnecessary details. In my opinion that's just tacky.
Date several if that's your thing .. but discretion IS the better part of valour. Women do catch on you know.... if you are talking TO us ABOUT the others... we do realise that you are talking TO the others ABOUT us. | |
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| dating,seeing others,going together
Posted: 8/25/2007 12:31:13 PM | | thats just sad!i would never be so curl.i would let others know just so noone thought i was playing the other.it would only be ''a first date''thing.if we go on another then i would not date others,as i have found reasons for wanting to get to know this person. | |
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matty i agree on the dating thing.....but it is only my 2 cents....