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 Pale Nerdy Girl
Joined: 4/8/2007
Msg: 1
First (and other) date gifts for men.Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
Men bring women flowers, they are pretty and feminine. They are traditional enough that it never seems over the top, creepy or too full on for a first date (or a date with someone you are not all that close to).

What should a woman bring as a gift for a man on such occasions? There doesn't seem to be any traditional equivalent, and everything I can think of seems a bit full on for a first date.


P.S. As a preemptive answer to all the "Let him feel your tits.", "Give him a kiss.", "Give him a kiss somewhere else." type answers (which I'm sure someone will be tempted to give):

I'd see that as no more for him than for me, to site a favorite example, it's just like when Homer buys Marge a bowling ball with "Homer" written on it. That's not a gift, and I'd find it very patronising if I was the man in that situation.
 j5rush
Joined: 4/13/2006
Msg: 2
First (and other) date gifts for men.
Posted: 8/14/2007 9:30:54 PM
For me? Some kind of small electrical or mechanical device. Maybe a Chia pet.
 Tori_LOVES_Ian
Joined: 8/5/2007
Msg: 3
First (and other) date gifts for men.
Posted: 8/14/2007 9:31:50 PM
I've never thought of bringing a date a gift.When I was dating I would make it very clear I didn't care for flowers.I prefer them in a field not a vase.You are a very thoughtful person to think of giving a gift on a first date.
 jtw1974
Joined: 6/18/2007
Msg: 4
First (and other) date gifts for men.
Posted: 8/14/2007 9:33:59 PM
Honest answer.

This is why it helps to really talk to someone before you agree to meet and pay attention to little details in a conversation. This works for women and men, especialy if flowers are just a bit much at the stage of the relationship but you DO want to make an impression. It doesn't have to be anything huge or extravagant, just quirky and something that related to a previous conversation.

For example, in one of your im or phone conversations that end up just yapping about silly things in life, he happens to mention that orange Tic Tacs are God's gift to the breath mint isle and he can down a whole container at once for he loves them so. Silly throw away info, granted... but if you met him next with a package of orange Tic Tacs... see where I'm going with this? It makes an impression and shows that you pay attention but it's not a pen or anything.

Just silly little things like that go a looong way.
 RockGnome
Joined: 6/29/2007
Msg: 5
First (and other) date gifts for men.
Posted: 8/14/2007 9:38:28 PM
Since you list yourself as "rather good at making ****tails",
how about a bottle of rum?
 GoldieLocks5
Joined: 5/22/2007
Msg: 6
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History
First (and other) date gifts for men.
Posted: 8/14/2007 9:39:40 PM
I sometimes bake cookies, I only give him a few and keep the rest. That way when I get home if it was a bad date I have cry cookies and if it was a great date I have happy cookies.
 Peter52356
Joined: 5/3/2007
Msg: 7
First (and other) date gifts for men.
Posted: 8/14/2007 9:45:13 PM

For example, in one of your im or phone conversations that end up just yapping about silly things in life, he happens to mention that orange Tic Tacs are God's gift to the breath mint isle and he can down a whole container at once for he loves them so. Silly throw away info, granted... but if you met him next with a package of orange Tic Tacs... see where I'm going with this? It makes an impression and shows that you pay attention but it's not a pen or anything.


The problem with that gift, is that then you'd be expecting to see him do it. That could be rather embarrassing for the guy, especially if he was joking or using a figure of speech.


What should a woman bring as a gift for a man on such occasions?


Quite a few men don't like getting gifts, and/or don't know how to respond when getting one. It creates an expectation.

Same goes for women.

I realized this after bringing a bouquet of roses to a first date once in the past, I didn't realize the significance of roses at the time, but only knew I'd heard of them being given as gifts. I've since come to know that red roses are known as a meaning of "love" and that wasn't my intention when giving them.

I myself would never expect a gift, and would respond awkwardly if someone brought one, but some guys would enjoy it.

It takes all kinds.

But, if you really wanted to get him a gift, pay attention during your conversations, and bring something minor that you heard him say he enjoys.

Same goes for with women. I learned to listen a bit closer, or even to ask what flowers they liked, or other things, so I could bring that. Never hurts to insert a seemingly innocent question into one of your conversations, like "What would be an amusing gift to receive from someone?", to figure out what they might like as a gift.
 Mafiachixrule
Joined: 5/4/2007
Msg: 8
First (and other) date gifts for men.
Posted: 8/14/2007 9:47:11 PM
Food or liquor would be my suggestion.
Or the latest and greatest remote for the television.
 Peter52356
Joined: 5/3/2007
Msg: 9
First (and other) date gifts for men.
Posted: 8/14/2007 9:48:39 PM
^^^I hate liquor.

Food gives the impression that you are trying to fatten them up for the kill.
 Bk2
Joined: 4/23/2006
Msg: 10
First (and other) date gifts for men.
Posted: 8/14/2007 9:49:17 PM
Hi Pale Nerdy Girl,

Nice arrangement of flowers or a plant...is cool....I have many vauses...

Simple..... depends on what sort of guy you date..... concerning the PS.... hmmmm, sad.....I'm not like that.........

Wishing you luck
O:)
 Mafiachixrule
Joined: 5/4/2007
Msg: 11
First (and other) date gifts for men.
Posted: 8/14/2007 9:50:42 PM
MilitiaMasterV:

Never met a man that didn't like food!
Doesn't have to be a cheesecake... LOL!!
 j5rush
Joined: 4/13/2006
Msg: 12
First (and other) date gifts for men.
Posted: 8/14/2007 9:59:01 PM
Doesn't have to be a cheesecake... LOL!!


New York style cheesecake would be a awesome gift!
 jtw1974
Joined: 6/18/2007
Msg: 13
First (and other) date gifts for men.
Posted: 8/14/2007 10:06:52 PM

That way when I get home if it was a bad date I have cry cookies and if it was a great date I have happy cookies.

That's so cute... but I don't know if I should frown or smile at that concept.
 Peter52356
Joined: 5/3/2007
Msg: 14
First (and other) date gifts for men.
Posted: 8/14/2007 10:12:58 PM

Never met a man that didn't like food!


Some of us enjoy food too much, and therefore shouldn't partake.
 j5rush
Joined: 4/13/2006
Msg: 15
First (and other) date gifts for men.
Posted: 8/14/2007 10:15:19 PM

That way when I get home if it was a bad date I have cry cookies and if it was a great date I have happy cookies.



That's so cute... but I don't know if I should frown or smile at that concept.


How can anyone frown on cookies?
 Pale Nerdy Girl
Joined: 4/8/2007
Msg: 16
First (and other) date gifts for men.
Posted: 8/14/2007 10:18:47 PM

This is why it helps to really talk to someone before you agree to meet and pay attention to little details in a conversation.


This is a very good point. I guess I should have put this in context a little more. I actually didn't meet this guy online, we met at a party then went on a date the next night. A second date gift is not hard, because you've had a lot of time to talk and find out about the other person.

I actually ended up giving up on finding a present for the first night, then for the next date (last night), I knew that he adored chocolate, especially with hazelnuts, so that was easy.

However, the point of this was that I was rather disappointed in my lack of understanding and inspiration, so I thought I'd ask (then if I ever have another first date, I'll know).
 Pale Nerdy Girl
Joined: 4/8/2007
Msg: 17
First (and other) date gifts for men.
Posted: 8/14/2007 10:21:34 PM
Alcohol is an ok idea, but it might look like I was trying to get him drunk.

Also, flowers seem acceptable to some people... What does everyone think about that? Are flowers a good gift for a man?
 scorpio-dude
Joined: 4/3/2007
Msg: 18
First (and other) date gifts for men.
Posted: 8/14/2007 10:21:44 PM
OP:
Right, as I see it, when I give a girl flowers on a first date (which I reluctantly no longer do), I'm not making an impression, nor am I trying to get something in return, nor do I wish to be perceived as trying to prove something, or all the million and one reasons that women say they don't want flowers for. In fact... I'm the antithesis of a green thumb, and I don't much care for them.

But I do know girls like 'em... and it brings a smile to their face (99.9% of the time). And a woman with a smile... well... it's just amazing.
I applaud you for being a true feminist, and for being equal with the genders. I don't believe it will matter much what you get him... the simple act alone... it sure to stun.

Oh, and I've received flower from women... just makes me feel weird.

Good luck.
 Pale Nerdy Girl
Joined: 4/8/2007
Msg: 19
First (and other) date gifts for men.
Posted: 8/14/2007 10:29:12 PM
Thankyou, to everyone for all the suggestions so far. I think cookies are a good one for the next date... I'm a pretty good cook, and my brothers will be very please when I leav some for them too.


I applaud you for being a true feminist, and for being equal with the genders.


I like to think of myself as an equalist, I'm no more feminist than I am masculist.
 Peter52356
Joined: 5/3/2007
Msg: 20
First (and other) date gifts for men.
Posted: 8/14/2007 10:29:39 PM

Also, flowers seem acceptable to some people... What does everyone think about that? Are flowers a good gift for a man?


If he's a gardener or enjoys them.

I also wouldn't be very appreciative of flowers.

My mom's the gardener, not me, she can name off whatever random plant you see, and I always just look at them and go.."What's that?"
 cowboy109
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 21
First (and other) date gifts for men.
Posted: 8/14/2007 10:39:56 PM
Bringing flowers to a date makes the date rather formal. Considering that there is a current among guys and gals to make dates less like dates and more like hanging out, it's kind of counter trend.

For whatever reason like your personality or particular circumstances, you go for that kind of gift. That kind of gift like a flower is pretty traditional in a sense of falling into traditional gender roles and expectations. If you want to send the message that you are into traditional gender roles/style, that's cool.

So, considering that we are looking to make a formal and gender role traditional ambiance with the gift, it might be a good point to consider something feminine that guys don't typically get. Traditional guys don't by pretty things and little things and are pretty functional. So, giving him something pretty and non-functional (not dysfunctional :) like a pretty card, flower, precious stone, special candy might do the trick. It's something that doesn't fit into the 'traditional' guy's world. So, it'll stand out and he'll use it as a token that has feminine and you written all over it. He'll be able to cherish it.

There was a French king (I believe Napoleon), who was known for being very functional. So, people would never dress up around him pretty, and would instead come in uniforms. People would only ask him out hunting and never to a concert. A young woman approached him with artistic and intellectual offerings. Everyone told her that she would bore him. However, that French kind was an unrefined brute on the outside. Yet, on the inside, he loved the arts and intellectual things. They got into a relationship. She got her own theater, where would organize plays for him. She always had a vase from some foreign country to show him. And, he loved that other part, which nobody around him with the hunting etc offered.


To comment on the idea of bringing liquor. It's kind of like bringing automotive oil. Hey, guys like to work on cars. He'll probably need it. The feminine counter example would be to bring her a sponge, because a woman must like cleaning :). However, if a beverage like a pack of beers is brought with the intend of consuming it together, it's less like a gift. It can be very sexy, if a still new woman decides to kick a few beers with the whole drunk part. (Drunk part = talking direct, silly, and letting the guard down. If drunk = loose and sex, then it depends on your view, if that's fun or scandalous :)
 scorpio-dude
Joined: 4/3/2007
Msg: 22
First (and other) date gifts for men.
Posted: 8/14/2007 10:57:22 PM
^^^^

I think you got it! case of motor oil!
Perfect!

take note girls!LMAO
 GoldieLocks5
Joined: 5/22/2007
Msg: 23
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First (and other) date gifts for men.
Posted: 8/14/2007 11:10:23 PM
{That way when I get home if it was a bad date I have cry cookies and if it was a great date I have happy cookies.

That's so cute... but I don't know if I should frown or smile at that concept.}

I just know what makes me balance. JTW you should always smile, if you can't I will make some cyber cookies.

Oh added note never make cookies with nuts in them, talk about good date going bad well almost really bad.
 Oriole
Joined: 6/30/2007
Msg: 24
First (and other) date gifts for men.
Posted: 8/14/2007 11:22:06 PM

I think you got it! case of motor oil!
Perfect!

But then that raises the question... Would he prefer oil for his truck, or one of his ATVs? What grade does he favour? Synthetic or mineral? Does he fancy a particular brand?

Better call his BFF and find out ahead of time, I think. You don't want to make a mistake on something as personal as motor oil.

 Peter52356
Joined: 5/3/2007
Msg: 25
First (and other) date gifts for men.
Posted: 8/14/2007 11:32:20 PM
I wouldn't have any use for a case of motor oil.

Also, most men want to get their own in that case.
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