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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Married woman, partying without her husband      Home login  
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 okeedokee444
Joined: 7/21/2007
Msg: 1
Married woman, partying without her husbandPage 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
There's this woman that I know that is the only woman that comes to our events w/o her husband. When I FIRST met her, I almost swore she was single.

Reasons? Because she was dancing provocatively with other men (grinding up against them, letting them touch her...and also slow dancing with other men)

Then I saw on her profile online, pictures of montages of her and her husband snuggling up together....I was wondering if he looked familiar (that perhaps I might have overlooked him at the events....but no such luck)

Apparently she's always going out alone, or with a single friend.

Regardless of the pictures....would you say this is a problem in the marriage (I personally wouldn't want my wife going out to bars and clubs alone...and doing the things she's doing with other men.)

Some guy mentioned (Well, he's probably one of those guys who aren't social, don' t like crowds, don' t like parties, etc...so he let's her do it - which personally shows lack of a spine, but okay, lol)

If my wife is going out dancing, you better believe that I will make it a point to her dance partner!

Anyone ever seen this? I just find it highly suspect.
 cupatea2010
Joined: 7/30/2007
Msg: 2
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Married woman, partying without her husband
Posted: 8/15/2007 3:16:56 AM
She is getting her ya ya's out...as long as she goes home to her husband..who cares?
 londontim
Joined: 7/31/2006
Msg: 3
Married woman, partying without her husband
Posted: 8/15/2007 3:24:07 AM
It all depends on where you draw the line between harmless fun and infidelity, which is an entirely subjective thing. Of course, you're also overlooking the fact that you have no idea what he's getting up to while she's doing this. It could quite easily be part of some sort of arrangement they have - they can both go out, flirt with people, reassure themselves that they are still attractive to other people, they have still "got it" - as long as they remember who they're actually with, and things don't go too far. Or maybe they have an entirely open marriage and can do whatever they want.

Is it a problem in the marriage? If he doesn't like it (or doesn't know and wouldn't like it), then yes. If he doesn't mind or otherwise approves, then no. Without knowing more about the situation, who can say?
 okeedokee444
Joined: 7/21/2007
Msg: 4
Married woman, partying without her husband
Posted: 8/15/2007 3:24:40 AM

She is getting her ya ya's out...as long as she goes home to her husband..who cares?


I hear this time after time "As long as she comes home to me (this is the husband talking) that's all that matters"

I knew a guy like this, he was like, "I find it better just to stay home, b,ecause I would often get into fights when guys would try to feel up or touch my wife on the dance floor"

So he's saying, "As long as I stay home, I don't SEE it, and as long as she comes home to me, that' sall that matters"

About a year later, she divorced his ass, LOL

This is usually a sign of a failing marriage actually. You watch, give it a couple of years.

Oh yeah, and also, of course she has to come home, she has no where else to go! lol Of course she could just bang some guy for a couple of hours, put her clothes back on, and head home too.

Or coming home would be also the way to keep things discrete.
 okeedokee444
Joined: 7/21/2007
Msg: 5
Married woman, partying without her husband
Posted: 8/15/2007 3:33:03 AM
Imaginative....also the "if he doesn't mind" option could be a problem too, "not caring" or "complacency" can lead to a dissolved marraige.

Oh, also, she's rather involved in church, she teaches Bible Study....guess she's not THAT religious (but this could be something completely different)

Sorry, but once your married, getting your "ya yas" out is something reserved for single-dom. Might as well just stay single. Also, people will start to "talk".
 Ghostguy1
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 6
Married woman, partying without her husband
Posted: 8/15/2007 3:56:53 AM
It all depends on the relationship that they have. As long as she is honest with him
(and him with her) ....maybe this kind of stuff revs her engine and her
old man gets the time of his life, who knows???
As for me *L* I'd be there with her.
 Jorgen
Joined: 6/29/2007
Msg: 7
Married woman, partying without her husband
Posted: 8/15/2007 5:12:10 AM
I think it's quite simple. If she knows he would mind if he was there then she shouldn't do it. Period.
 itsjsmejj
Joined: 8/2/2007
Msg: 8
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Married woman, partying without her husband
Posted: 8/15/2007 5:13:05 AM
I was guilty of being that husband with my first wife. I didn't mind her going out clubbing with her best friend, because I was just starting to get sober and at the time clubs and bars just weren't something I liked or needed to be doing. Well it turned out that my wife wasn't being faithful, in fact she was sleeping around with more than one guy. So my take on this is if you're a husband and your wife is out doing that sort of stuff, maybe you should have a good look at your marriage.

Jim
 aspiring_angel
Joined: 1/25/2006
Msg: 9
Married woman, partying without her husband
Posted: 8/15/2007 5:19:26 AM
I don't see how it's any of your business. Perhaps the drama is running low in your own life, so you need to find it somewhere else? It's between her and her husband and no one else.

Appearances are just that: an outside view.
 lovableladywanted
Joined: 5/14/2006
Msg: 10
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Married woman, partying without her husband
Posted: 8/15/2007 7:19:34 AM
I think its very sad . Husband and wife should be best friends. This lady is not trustworthy at all. If she has marital problems she should be working them out not GRINDING them out with strangers.
 gonzofanmel
Joined: 10/3/2006
Msg: 11
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Married woman, partying without her husband
Posted: 8/15/2007 7:46:15 AM
Regardless of what's going on in her marriage (or what you think is going on), it really isn't any of your business, or your place to judge. It's her life, not yours. She doesn't need your approval. So butt out and leave it alone.
 Schadenfreudian
Joined: 7/5/2007
Msg: 12
Married woman, partying without her husband
Posted: 8/15/2007 11:19:45 AM

Reasons? Because she was dancing provocatively with other men (grinding up against them, letting them touch her...and also slow dancing with other men)
Attention-getting behavior. She's not getting her fair share of ego-stroking from her hubbie. She wants to see/feel/believe she's still got "It."
 zentral
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 13
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Married woman, partying without her husband
Posted: 8/15/2007 11:36:35 AM
Perhaps she is an extrovert, and he is an introvert. She likes people and activity, and he does not. If they are both fine with this, no problem - otherwise ... we don't really know, do we?
 SouthernGuy1960
Joined: 8/10/2007
Msg: 14
Married woman, partying without her husband
Posted: 8/15/2007 12:16:21 PM
Like someone stated earlier we do not know the arrangement they have.But if she is out dancing and allowing guys to grab her I for one would not tolerate this abuse.After all she is married and shouldn't be putting herself in this position.If she feels the need to be social then why not try something productive and make real friends.This man should have her watched ,documented and served papers then take a nice long vacation and have some fun himself but only after his divorce is final.But again maybe he likes other men grabbing his wife.Then i would have to say does he really love her and her him?
 mahogany_rush
Joined: 7/18/2007
Msg: 15
Married woman, partying without her husband
Posted: 8/15/2007 2:04:45 PM
Married women partying without her husband? first thing if its not your wife, why do you care? who knows what the relationship is at her home.

if its your friend doing this I think you should stay out of it, its not your place to be a therapist or to give advice, the best advice is never give advice to friends, it can come back and bite you in the a$$, even though your intentions maybe good in the beginning but you can be sure you will get nothing but headaches if you get involved.
 Willow55
Joined: 3/17/2006
Msg: 16
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Married woman, partying without her husband
Posted: 8/15/2007 2:16:29 PM

There's this woman that I know that is the only woman that comes to our events w/o her husband. When I FIRST met her, I almost swore she was single.

Reasons? Because she was dancing provocatively with other men (grinding up against them, letting them touch her...and also slow dancing with other men)

Then I saw on her profile online, pictures of montages of her and her husband snuggling up together.


..from a man whose profile has "prefer not to say" in marital status....hmmm.., speaking of suspect...

Is your problem that she isn't slow dancing with you?.... or grinding up against you?....Look after your own business and keep your nose out of hers.
If you feel so deserving of knowing what is going on with her and her life and her marriage..... grow a set of balls and ask HER.
Just because she dances with somebody does not mean she is screwing them and if she is.. what business is it of yours?
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 17
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Married woman, partying without her husband
Posted: 8/15/2007 2:27:14 PM
Most likely she dragged him out for a while in the beginning and he decided he hates social gatherings and he'd much rather stay home with a bucket of chicken. Eventually he got his way.

Some men weigh the other guy thing with the do I have to go thing, and decide wondering who his wife is talking to is a small price to pay for staying home and avoiding the social scene if he hates it.

I had an ex who hated dancing, he would beg me to find another guy to dance with while we were out if it meant the pressure was off of him to have to do it. He just wasn't the extreme jealous type. I am sure her husband either doesn't care what she does, or doesn't worry about what she does.

In any case, unless she's hurting you or bothering you in some way - I wouldn't worry about it.
 Master irisheagle
Joined: 2/25/2007
Msg: 18
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Married woman, partying without her husband
Posted: 8/15/2007 2:32:11 PM
she's probabaly in an open marriage or a swinger getting her groove on.
i would NEVER allow that myself but there are some out there that do it.
 Miss W
Joined: 12/4/2006
Msg: 19
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Married woman, partying without her husband
Posted: 8/15/2007 2:38:10 PM
Perhaps she is an extrovert, and he is an introvert. She likes people and activity, and he does not. If they are both fine with this, no problem - otherwise ... we don't really know, do we?

I have a couple of very dear friends who are like this. She loves to go out dancing with the girls, he's a homebody. She has gotten a lot flack for this from others who do not know them or understand their dynamics. They just believe in their solo time, time with friends and time together. They must be doing something right having been married over 25 years and they still like each other.
 okeedokee444
Joined: 7/21/2007
Msg: 20
Married woman, partying without her husband
Posted: 8/15/2007 3:04:01 PM
How much longer will you give this marriage?
 Willow55
Joined: 3/17/2006
Msg: 21
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Married woman, partying without her husband
Posted: 8/15/2007 3:08:48 PM
that marriage will last as long as it lasts..... at least SHE admits that she is married....

still no answer on why it is so important to the OP....
 okeedokee444
Joined: 7/21/2007
Msg: 22
Married woman, partying without her husband
Posted: 8/15/2007 3:11:08 PM
Because she gave me the impression she was single....she never actually mentioned a husband in her life...she mentioned a previous EX husband though, but that's it, and continued to flirt.
 mahogany_rush
Joined: 7/18/2007
Msg: 23
Married woman, partying without her husband
Posted: 8/15/2007 3:36:54 PM
By the way , what events are you referring to that she goes to and you are there, are you there with your wife?
 okeedokee444
Joined: 7/21/2007
Msg: 24
Married woman, partying without her husband
Posted: 8/15/2007 4:34:46 PM
Um...I don't have a wife.
 SouthernGuy1960
Joined: 8/10/2007
Msg: 25
Married woman, partying without her husband
Posted: 8/15/2007 4:39:48 PM
Hey okeedokee444,I just wonder if the shoe was on the other foot how would these women like it.I am curious,What you think bra?
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