| I am Bored...Are You?
Posted: 8/15/2007 6:05:04 PM | I am 53 years old, widow, with no husband or children.
I retired in 93 and now spend my days volunteering. I volunteer about 35 hours a week. I find myself concerned about the second half of my life. I don't seem to have anything to look forward to. Is this going on with anyone else? If so, how are you dealing with this second half of life issue? | |
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| I am Bored...Are You?
Posted: 8/15/2007 7:06:57 PM | Sometimes I get a little bored with the daily grind. I wish I was in a position to retire, but that ain't happening anytime soon. 
You are still young. You never know what is around the corner.
We can't see tomorrow, so enjoy today.
If you have good health, you are very fortunate.
It is good that you volunteer but do something for you. Just for fun. | |
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| I am Bored...Are You?
Posted: 8/15/2007 7:28:46 PM | | lynn2 - I know how you feel. And you aren't the only one feeling that way. Everyone gets bored with their life sometimes. It's that feeling of the "big blank" in front of you that you have no idea how you are supposed to fill in. You volunteer and that's a great thing to keep yourself feeling productive and needed. Have you thought about maybe taking some kind of classes that you always had some interest in? It'd be a great way to keep you busy when you aren't otherwise booked, and learning something new is always stimulating. It'd also be a great way to make some new friends and contacts that also share in the same interest. There's a LOT of older people going to school for all different reasons these days. I took classes myself just a few years ago and it was great! I thought I'd be the oldest in my classes and maybe feel out of place but I was very wrong. I loved it! I wish I had the money to go more (I refuse to take out loans to do it). When/if I do, I will definitely go back for more. But if you can handle it financially you really should think about it. You'd be surprised at how it brings you back to life. I'd even go so far as to guarantee that. Good luck whatever you decide to do!! | |
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| I am Bored...Are You?
Posted: 8/15/2007 8:26:42 PM | | Op you didn't say how long you have been widowed. I am in the same position as you, but have been widowed for more than a decade. Some days I joke that I wish I had time to be bored. However, I can remember the first few years feeling like what you are talking about in your post. I had lost my purpose, and most things seemed so unimportant. It took me quite a while to figure out who I was as a single person. Today, my only worry is cramming in all the things that I want and need to do. If it has only been a few years since you have been alone, this may pass very quickly in the near future. Good luck. | |
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| I am Bored...Are You?
Posted: 8/16/2007 12:48:49 AM | | I have to agree with 3rdedition. Going for more knowledge is a super way to stimulate everything about yourself. I have been studying to get a certification in my field. This has been great for me to not only expand my knowledge, but work with others in our studies so we can perform well come test time. Good luck!! | |
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| I am Bored...Are You?
Posted: 8/16/2007 4:42:28 AM | My mom use to say, "only the boring are bored" LOL, I hated that saying, but as I have grown, yep, she was right.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not calling anyone here boring. For myself, 80% of the time, I am boring, I do it to myself. By getting caught up in my own day to day crap, I let it strap me down.
Having a low income doesn't help, but $$ isn't everything. It's an inner driving force that keeps people from getting bored or being bored. Mine seems to have taken a vaction here of late. I also find that all my buddies are married, that makes a difference to me as well. Hangin with the married is fine now and then, but it gets old in so many ways. That constant reminder at the end of the day, I go home alone and all conversations/activities are done when I walk thru my own door.
Over the yrs I have made it a point to study myself, lol, yes I know that sounds strange but it was very important to figure out why I do/think the way I do. This has helped ease some of the bordom, which I believe bordom comes from being lazy. ( ON MY PART ONLY).
Whenever those periods pop up, I start diggin around in my own head to figure out what has slowed me down, I either fix it or bury it and move on. The periods are getting shorter and shorter between being bored/stir crazy.
Laughter is my cure(almost) all, even if it means laughting at myself in the mirror, whatever works, work it! | |
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| I am Bored...Are You?
Posted: 8/16/2007 5:30:29 AM | | Now I am, but I am hoping the next thread will be better. | |
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| I am Bored...Are You?
Posted: 8/16/2007 5:43:54 AM | .
I find myself concerned about the second half of my life. I don't seem to have anything to look forward to. Is this going on with anyone else? If so, how are you dealing with this second half of life issue?
There’s a whole world of people to meet, places to go and things to do out there. Unfortunately, way too many for me and I have to stop myself from getting sidetracked with new interests so I’ll get some of the things I’ve already started done.
I’ve been retired quite a while and love the freedom. Sure, I also spend time volunteering at a very interesting place, but since I do not have to keep a schedule anywhere, I have the time to go anywhere, almost anytime I wish, and sometimes do. Or, I can be perfectly happy doing nothing -- sitting alone out in the woods attracting critters to “talk” with by enticing with tidbits of food. Fact is, there’s always something interesting to do.
Remember, too, that a long walk between activities is not only good for the body but also calms the mind to allow in new ideas.
. | |
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| I am Bored...Are You?
Posted: 8/16/2007 5:54:35 AM | I've been retired a few years now, and I've found that it's good to keep learning and doing new things! At first I took the obligatory cruises, took some college classes, did some volunteering in entertainment venues, volunteered at a local TV station help line, etc. In recent years, I've done yoga and other exercise classes, and always some traveling. I don't get the chance to be bored often, since I do have kids and grandkids, but I can see how not having that would leave you more time to get bored!
I'm getting back into the volunteering, but this time at a hospital and a museum, which will be different for me. Any time I find myself getting bored, which is rare, I just find new things to do. Once, I started a singles group, and ended up with over 80 members. That lasted over 5 years, but got to be too much work. What I'm saying is, I can always find new things to do, new people to meet. I think that's the way to keep life interesting and exciting. I look forward to each day, each new adventure! Good luck! You're still young, and I'm sure you'll find that second wind of creativity to make your second half fun! I agree with the post above mine, too. Long walks have become routine for me, as have other healthy living habits. | |
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| I am Bored...Are You?
Posted: 8/16/2007 6:43:47 AM | | OP, I'm envious...you're 53 and have been retired since 1993? I can only wish I'm any where near retirement at that age, as today the days don't have enough time in them to do the things I want to do (outside of working full-time). If you're volunteering 35 hours a week, that's similar to having a full-time job although I bet it's more rewarding personally than many full-time jobs and it's a wonderful yhing to do for people. In your free time there's a lot you can do...Your profile states you like dancing and would enjoy learning more, and you enjoy cards...see if there's a group in your area that gets together to play cards, and if there's a dance studio where you can take lessons. Maybe a friend would enjoy going with you? Also, there's a place online called Meetup where people can get together with others who enjoy the same things (www.meetup.com/). Best of luck to you. | |
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| I am Bored...Are You?
Posted: 8/16/2007 9:14:53 AM |
I don't seem to have anything to look forward to. Is this going on with anyone else? If so, how are you dealing with this second half of life issue?
For me, the answer is to find activities that are exciting and stimutating enough that I don't get bored.
Some ideas that have worked for me:
* Going on a singles cruise
* Getting involved with a hiking group and leading hikes
* Taking group trips to exciting new places - There are some that are geared towards singles
* Taking the initiative to ask people out on dates (many women won't initiate so the ones that do have a big advantage)
* Deveolping a group of friends that I can call on for support
* Planning and hosting parties for friends | |
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| I am Bored...Are You?
Posted: 8/16/2007 9:39:42 AM | Go back to school. It keeps your mind active and it's great socializing with all the people in your classes.
Travel. If you can't find a friend or friends to do it with you, do it yourself. I travel out of country a few times a year, and in country several times. It doesn't have to be anything expensive...I just go. Also, I find that unless I have something in the works...something planned...to look forward to, I get bored/depressed as well. So I'm always looking for things to do and places to go. And I really will go just about anywhere and try just about anything (nothing sexual implied by that). With the kids gone and being happy and healthy...this is a GREAT time to do just that. | |
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| I am Bored...Are You?
Posted: 8/16/2007 9:44:33 AM | | My #1 saviour from boredom is that I developed some very interesting long term friends who are into all kind of things. If I where to get into another relationship I would not give up my friends. True friends are there when no one else is (even when you are totally boring ) | |
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| I am Bored...Are You?
Posted: 8/16/2007 10:38:38 AM | Wow, lucky you to retire so young. And you say you volunteer 35 hrs./week. Lucky organizations. But are these organizations allowing you to truly develope and feel fulfilled? If not maybe you should seek other organizations to try your skills with.
And take a class of some sort. Something you've not done before that tests the limits of your right brain! Do art/music/humanities/etc. Anything that will broaden your perspective on your own life and find something new and stimulating to help you through.
I am a widow also, so I can relate to the wondering about the second half of my life, but I refuse to sit around and ponder for very long. Get up and move and challenge yourself physically and mentally. You'll love yourself for it. (and reap many other benefits as well). | |
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| I am Bored...Are You?
Posted: 8/16/2007 10:39:14 AM | WOW If I look way back there I can remember feeling sad and confused about what to do with this part of my life - now the issue is where to find the time to get done everything I want to get done!
I retired earlier than some (disabling stuff) and since I couldn't do my job any longer had a bout of miserably low self esteem where I couldn't see anything to look forward to. My pets and friends kept me going through that short bit. My solution was to start a little online business in a field I love. Lots and lots to learn on many subjects and I can work or not as life unfolds. It's a wonderful thing to do as it keeps me in touch with so many aspects of the world and doesn't interfere with other things like volunteering and keeping animals.
Great thread! Thanks for all the cool ideas
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| I am Bored...Are You?
Posted: 8/16/2007 10:56:01 AM |
I find myself concerned about the second half of my life. I don't seem to have anything to look forward to. Is this going on with anyone else? If so, how are you dealing with this second half of life issue?
I am the same age as you and will not be able to retire for at least 10 years, due to financial considerations.
I take it you are in a very good financial situation?
Have you thought about taking college classes in some esoterci area that may interest you?
How about dancing lessons? Take cooking classes at the local culinary arts school? The list is endless.
I envy you. | |
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| I am Bored...Are You?
Posted: 8/16/2007 1:05:27 PM | Lynn2,
I would suggest reading the book "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" by Stephen Covey. There are two sections in the book that were really helpful for me- 'Begin with the End In Mind', and 'Put First Things First'.
What it allowed me to see was the 'formula' of how I want to be remembered after I die, and the steps I need to take to get there. You can apply these concepts not only to your personal long range plan, but also to short term tasks (in your case, 'how do we pull off the next great fund-raiser')
I am still one of the working-class people, and do not volunteer near as much time as you do! I commend you on that!
Hope you find the readings as helpful as I did!
~smiles~
Bob. | |
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| I am Bored...Are You?
Posted: 8/16/2007 1:36:10 PM | | OP: have you considered having a sex-change operation so you can have a bone fide "mid-life crisis"? | |
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| I am Bored...Are You?
Posted: 8/16/2007 3:18:53 PM | It's always a concern of mine that I really should be more active.
There have been times in my life that were very busy with different pursuits,
from taking night classes another language and law, to playing in dart and bowling leagues.
I still like to do things, but not much on activities that are structured and require
regular attendance, except for softball which I play every Sunday in the summer.
If you feel like you are bored, then you must be bored,
but no need to worry or fret, the best is yet to come,
it can be anything we want it to be. | |
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| I am Bored...Are You?
Posted: 8/16/2007 4:10:59 PM | OP - think about the things that really light up your passions. Perhaps it is writing, photography, traveling etc. Write that list, of things no matter how small it may seem that make you smile. Don't let others influence your thinking. I think each and every one of us tend to ask that question "is this all that there is", especially as we hit our 40's and older. It's because we've been stuck in that rut. We've always taken the safe and comfortable way of life, no matter how boring it is. I know for me, I'd like to switch careers and go into travel writing. It's not that simple to switch from tax consulting to travel writing unless I have a good nest egg put aside and have a good portfolio put together, but I also am patient enough to do things (baby step wise).
Also, when is the last time you got a physical? Don't know if you've gone through menopause, or how your thyroid levels are, but make sure your physical well being is in ship shape. Don't dwell so much on what you don't have, focus on what you do have. Even if you do one simple thing each day, where someone smiles as a result of your actions, you've done good! | |
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| I am Bored...Are You?
Posted: 8/16/2007 8:20:27 PM | | I for one have never understood how people can constantly say they are bored. I am never bored. There is always something to do, something to watch, someplace to go, someone to talk to or do, how can anyone be bored?? | |
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| I am Bored...Are You?
Posted: 8/16/2007 8:39:20 PM | I just turned 50 and I am in the process of selling off all of the "stuff" I have that I will no longer need on my newwwwwwwwwwwwww..... (suspense building...)
Farm!!!! I put a contract in today... I am so excited because I have been bored to tears... my friends all have children (I would also have a child the same age, but my daughter died when she was seven months) and I dont have anything in common with them anymore and find it hard to see their children that are the same age as what mine would be...
I am not married (duh, this is a singles site..sorry) and I dont want to hang out in bars waiting to get hit on... so I dont go... Now I am off to Green Acres to raise organic vegetables, hydroponic grown vegetables and aquaculture... I will raise African Talapia and other tasty fishies...(I wonder if they will become my little pets and wont be able to eat them, my friend has a pond full of his "pets")
I am trading in my diamonds, saphires gold and silver for woodworking tools, my grandfather clock, antiques and chandeliers for farm equiptment.. (that sounds so funny) and trading my Acura for a Ford pickup truck (I actually already got the truck)
I am selling off my mountain in Oklahoma to pay for the electronics, barns and irrigation stuff...
I am having a huge garage sale... art to an art auction and furniture to a high end consignment store... All my collectables are going to an auction too...
Clothes will be donated to the nearest battered womens shelter, and the misc stuff will go to charity.. the only thing I am taking with me is my dog..my Mom.. (she really wants to garden, paint and sculpture) and my bedroom furniture.. and some clothes... oh, and two living room furniture set ups, two dining area sets, out door furn, and kitchen stuff.. I will be downscaling in a big way but I cant wait... I will be so NOT bored... but I get a little scared from time to time... I start thinking.. "oh.. my what am I doing?" then I get over that fast... I am running away from the big city, all of the concrete, the traffic, the race of the rats... so that is what I am doing to fight the boredom, and my plans for the second half of my life... What do you think???
BL | |
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| I am Bored...Are You?
Posted: 8/16/2007 8:52:21 PM | That sounds like it will keep you busy, and having a good time for a long while. Good luck.  | |
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| I am Bored...Are You?
Posted: 8/16/2007 11:39:57 PM | ....I still have teenagers at home, plus I work full-time...that in itself takes up much of my time as I travel a lot for business. There always ssems to be a lot going on in my world as I am also very social and have a lot of friends....I look forward to those times when I don't have anything on my agenda and I can just curl up with a good book and a glass of wine, or play on the computer....bored, not too much.
...maeflowers | |
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