| Is age just a number? Older women vs Younger Men
Posted: 8/20/2007 9:46:24 PM | I suppose this question is directed towards the female population on POF, although some of the men on here may share my views when I ask if age is really just a number?
As a 24 year old male who connects better with individuals much older than himself, it seems there is a hesitation on the part of older women not to engage in conversation, but to be seen in public with a guy sometimes almost half their age. Is it that the social stigma placed upon it is still prevalent, or is it an issue of the generation gap that exists and the stigma that was once associated with it?
While it's probably assumed that every young guy out there wants to experience an older woman in a sexual sense, [and yes, horomone driven ambition does exist] there are those that are looking for things that can't be found within their own age bracket. It has been my experience that older women who do wish to chat are often shy about being in a public setting, or they automatically jump to conclusions of ones intent. I thought maturity brought with it the virtue of patience and an open mind - was I wrong to assume?
I'm curious to find out the opinions of what others think on this subject. | |
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1cc™
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Joined: 6/1/2007
Msg: 2 | |
| Is age just a number? Older women vs Younger Men
Posted: 8/21/2007 4:05:39 AM | Maybe some women don't want to be thought of as a "cougar"... or...
Perhaps they want to be with someone who is at the same "place" in life that they are.
Perhaps they find younger men to be not "worldly" enough, or a little "unseasoned"...
I think that with maturity comes patience, and open mind, and a much better idea of who you are and what you want. And some women are past all that twenty-something angst, they've been there and they've done that, and now they want someone whom they can relate to. | |
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| Is age just a number? Older women vs Younger Men
Posted: 8/21/2007 4:18:46 AM | You know...what it boils down to for me, is being around 20something guys feels like spending time with my (fabulous) 27 yr old son.....while it's fun in its own way, it's just not really grownup enough overall.
(That would be the same son who rolled his eyes and sighed like I'd pushed him into the depths of despair when I said I was gonna make "Fat Bottom Girls" my theme song--kid needs to work on his sense of humour.) | |
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| Is age just a number? Older women vs Younger Men
Posted: 8/21/2007 6:16:34 AM | I think it depends on the individual ,how wide the age gap is and what kind of relationship the two involved are seeking,but I would agree with all of what 1cc says as to the reasons why older women wouldn't want to persue a relationship with a much younger man.
p.s. Ok I just read the OP's profile and you say that you are not looking for long term,short term, or dating but anything else is fine...that would be one reason why I wouldn't be interested (speaking as an older woman,that is). | |
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| Is age just a number? Older women vs Younger Men
Posted: 8/21/2007 7:48:53 AM | To sum up the replies in one message:
Yes, I would agree with 1cc that a twenty-something year old is not in the same position as someone older as far as the course of life is concerned, but if by "worldy" and "unseasoned" one means experiences, I would have to disagree.
I can't speak on behalf of the younger men, but some of us have been granted opportunities to experience things that our peers and for that matter, those older than ourselves have yet to. Perhaps we are far and few in between.
The ability to relate to someone, in my opinion has little to do with age, but rather with the lessons learned in life and while younger guys have more living to do before we can comprehend all that is out there, I don't think we should be written off.
I can see cookiekwan's point - based on her comment of what was in my particular profile. It's not so much a relationship that younger guys seek: long term, short term, dating or any form of potential committment. What it is for those of us who are looking for company from those older than ourselves are the things that we can't find
from girls our own age - intelligence, decent conversation, an appreciation for other things that life has to offer. That is not to say that girls our age are not intelligent, conversationalists, have an appreciation for the simpler and finer things in life. But, it is harder to find and the difference is noticeable. Some of us are just tired of the games and drama that exists and are seeking indivuduals to socialize with where games have little or no governance.
To cite an example, it reminds me of one question I posed and two conversations I've had, again not to say that everyone is the same. I asked a girl roughly my age how her weekend was and received the "typical" answer of a downtown misadventure. I asked a woman twice my age that same question, who proceeded to tell me about the time she spent with her kids, a movie she had watched, etc... the latter conversation had more depth.
The answer that I have most come across coincides with sillynserious, that yes, it can be intimidating or irksome when you have kids that are roughly the same age, or even when you don't.
There are those of us out there who may look twenty-something physically, but are minds are far older than what the shell leads one to belive. We may not be able to relate to everything that the previous generation can, but some may be surprised at the pace we can keep. | |
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1cc™
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Joined: 6/1/2007
Msg: 7 | |
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| Is age just a number? Older women vs Younger Men
Posted: 8/21/2007 2:40:07 PM | I do not see the big deal ! I LOVE younger men ... I am 34 , would go as young as 21 .. yummy if u ask me ! Couger ?? pfttttt! Age is but a number . I will go with whomever sets the juices flowing , and my case tis the younger man ..
why nobody comment on 40-50 yr old men that date women in their 20's?? | |
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| Is age just a number? Older women vs Younger Men
Posted: 8/21/2007 3:20:09 PM | | ^^^I agree with you about the men having less of a stigma,they just don't seem to have as many hang-ups about dating younger women either.There's nothing wrong with it if the two people are adults and they want the same things from eachother.I am sure there are plenty of women willing to date or "hang out" with younger men.I can also see the point of the OP that older women,in general,would be more interesting to converse with.Although,there are always exceptions to every rule,some people will never be interesting to talk to no matter how old they get (ha!). | |
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| Is age just a number? Older women vs Younger Men
Posted: 8/21/2007 5:05:30 PM | I have stated in a different thread my thoughts on this subject, but because I love to type I will state them again. I feel that if you are dating just for the simple fact of having fun, not really thinking too far into the future, age shouldn't play into it.
But if you are planning on getting serious that makes it a totally different thing.
I would in no way put a young man in the position of having to choose between being with me, or being a father, and having children of his own.
And his Mom coming after me for denying her grandchildren would be scary!....... Uh oh.... | |
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| Is age just a number? Older women vs Younger Men
Posted: 8/23/2007 2:11:26 PM | | As flattering as it may be for an 'old girl' like me, (I'm 40) to have a younger man show some interest, I too would never put them in the position of choosing me or children of their own. It all starts out as dating and having fun, but if you fall for the guy, you could end up with heartache or guilt. I guess thats why I avoid the younger man. I also avoid the 'older' man for different reasons! | |
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| Is age just a number? Older women vs Younger Men
Posted: 8/29/2007 12:11:30 PM | I have dated older men, men my age and men younger than me. It seems that the younger men, (early thirties) tend to be the ones that ask me out the most. I find that I have had the most fun with them. We seem to have a lot in common. I find younger men wonderful, attractive, fun, intelligent, attentive and very romantic.
I must say that I adore younger men. Age is just a number and your only as old as you want to be. It's all in the attitude ladies and gentlemen. :) | |
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| Is age just a number? Older women vs Younger Men
Posted: 8/29/2007 2:33:03 PM | I'm with lillyrosa, as most of my close friends here and offline know. I can relate better to younger men than those my age or older in most cases. I have more fun with them, they are interested in the same type of things I am, and they listen to the same music I listen to. Perhaps it's because I was in relationships for most of my teens and 20's so what the late 20's and 30-somethings are doing is what I want to do now that I'm single. *shrugs* Who knows, all I know is that I enjoy myself much more in the company of the younger crowd than otherwise.
It's all about who you relate to best, regardless of age.  | |
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| Is age just a number? Older women vs Younger Men
Posted: 8/29/2007 3:00:24 PM | | Might be more of a case of people looking for different things. I think if you're 35 and looking for someone to marry and have kids with (soon) then chatting up a 20 year old is probably not going to be what you're looking for. If you're just out to date and have fun, then it might not matter how old they are...just how old they act. There are alot of mature younger men out there.....and a hell of a lot of immature older men. Each case is different. I personally am not into "younger" guys all that much. I'm not looking for a plaything though, so maybe thats why. I would be open I guess, but mostly I get contacted by guys who just want to "bang" an older women for the fun. That doesn't interest me anymore then the old guys who used to contact me when I was younger who are just looking to score for the same reason. | |
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