| we had sex now who should call ?
Posted: 8/21/2007 5:06:02 PM | Okay folks I'm airing out my dirty laundry *again* lol. I appreciate any advice. I've been dating this guy who were gonna call, "Ben" for over a month. We just had sex Sunday, now the day before I asked what are we at the moment; friends ? , dating ? etc. He said," I'd say were more steadily going out". I wasn't sure what he meant so I asked if he could be clear and he replied, "BF & GF". Okay thats fine. After sex I asked him just to be clear (again) he said yeah were together. Why did I ask ? In my experience guys are not always clear on this. Anyways, its tuesday and I haven't hear a word from him. I'm told that since he hasn't called forget about it OR to call him in a few days just to see if we still have plans for this weekend. I want to go with my gut instinct but it can't make up its mind. I really new to the whole dating scene so as you can see I'm completely lost. I feel he should call because I think he's waiting to see if I'm still interested but then again I feel he should....
it just goes in a circle
Shed some light on this dark tale LOL
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| we had sex now who should call ?
Posted: 8/21/2007 5:11:48 PM | | I will shed some light on your situation, if you will first shed some light on: What you are doing having sex with someone who you don't know if you should call or not? | |
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| we had sex now who should call ?
Posted: 8/21/2007 5:18:49 PM | Well if you feel like he is the right guy what does it matter as long as you use good year rubber till you know him better.As long as you have fun you onley live once. | |
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| we had sex now who should call ?
Posted: 8/21/2007 5:24:26 PM | If you want to call him if you don't want to don't. There are two reasons a man wont call you after having sex with you.
You weren't very good in bed or he is letting you call to see if you are still interested.
If he is waiting for you get used to the idea of being the wooer because he will be the reticent one. | |
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| we had sex now who should call ?
Posted: 8/21/2007 5:24:48 PM | | If you have to ask maybe you should slow down a little and hold off on sex until you know the answer already. | |
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| we had sex now who should call ?
Posted: 8/21/2007 5:28:21 PM | | I agree with the slowing down or making sure beforehand that you don't have to ask yourself or anyone else that question. sounds like you have feelings and other might want a roll in the hay. I wouldn't call him and let him think he really got to me unless you just want to use him for sex fo the moment. make him wok for it next time, don't be so available. | |
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| we had sex now who should call ?
Posted: 8/21/2007 5:32:07 PM | Perwin,
I would call him and be pretty casual about any plans this weekend. Feel the waters and if he responds then fine. If not, then hopefully you enjoyed the sex and forget about him.
I would hope that you know him well enough to not have this uncertainty in your 'BF & GF ' relationship (whatever that means) but sometimes we do the things we do, and we screw who we screw - Lilly Allen....Good luck girl and hang tough! | |
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| we had sex now who should call ?
Posted: 8/21/2007 5:34:50 PM | Honestly if you have not talked since sunday the day of the sex well it was not all that.
If he was any good call him for more sex if he sucked move on.
All I can say is some BOY'S will tell you want you want to hear to get only one thing. Once it is gotten they move on the only way to know if this is true is to call him.... | |
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| we had sex now who should call ?
Posted: 8/21/2007 5:43:29 PM | | I wouldn't call him. If a guy who says he's a boyfriend doesn't call why bother chasing him down? It's been my experience that people do what they REALLY want to do. If I really want to talk to someone not much would stop me from doing so. If a guy wants to talk to you he'll call; if he doesn't he won't. | |
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| we had sex now who should call ?
Posted: 8/21/2007 5:43:44 PM | You should not be asking a man where you stand with him "bf/gf". If the feelings were mutual and you both want the same thing this conversation would take place on its own period. Not one second-guessing what the other one wants.
Obviously, you are not both on the "same page". You had your "fun" (I hope..lol..), now if you want to call - call. We're adults. Personally, if he hasn't called you, I would say that he just had his "fun" and is gone back to doing his own thing. Whatever that may be.
What's done is done. Just make a decision and act on it.
Best,
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| we had sex now who should call ?
Posted: 8/21/2007 5:50:13 PM |
If you have to ask maybe you should slow down a little and hold off on sex until you know the answer already.
I am afraid you logic is illogical.
How can she possibly know until after it happens?
If she waited before having sex what makes you think it would be any different other than she would have wasted more of her life and been even more emotionally attached to a relationship that wasn't going to work.
This is one thing I never understand about some women. No matter how many times it is shown to be a miss conception they act like they are going to run out of sex if they do it and they seem to think that holding off on sex is some how going to change the outcome to the better. | |
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| we had sex now who should call ?
Posted: 8/21/2007 5:56:56 PM | | that's just crazy, kazot...noone said anything about running out of sex. more times than not sex takes the relationship to a whole different level. if she liked him before that and they were spending time together she may have been lead to believe he had other intentions besides getting some. it would have better if she waited and waited long because then he'd know he'd have to put in some time before he'd be getting any and if he ran before she gave in she'd know beforehand that he wasn't worth a doo-doo. | |
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| we had sex now who should call ?
Posted: 8/21/2007 6:22:44 PM | Hey Sunny 87,
Any new relationship will have it's uncertainties. At this point it doesn't matter who should call first, if he just wanted sex etc...what's done is done. Be assertive , if you want to call , do it....good bad or indifferent, it is what it is. If it turns out to be a negative experience, take it and grow from it.
Good Luck | |
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| we had sex now who should call ?
Posted: 8/21/2007 6:35:00 PM | | Don't mean to be blunt but, if he was into you and knows where you stand, he would have already called. | |
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| we had sex now who should call ?
Posted: 8/21/2007 7:38:31 PM |
noone said anything about running out of sex. more times than not sex takes the relationship to a whole different level.
If you believe that then why would you recommend holding off?
If you believe that you would be recommending she get in there and find out if there is a higher level after all it isn't like she is going to run out of sex if she spends it freely.
it would have better if she waited and waited long because then he'd know he'd have to put in some time before he'd be getting any and if he ran before she gave in she'd know beforehand that he wasn't worth a doo-doo.
Why is it that women keep repeating this even thought it is shown to be consistently wrong?
I can only assume it is what happens when you think with emotions rather than logic.
You are assuming that he was a player. Most men who women assume are players aren't.
Lets assume he was a player. You believe that if she had waited he would haven given up. This shows a basic ignorance of players. For a player it is a numbers game. As long as she was interested in him he would keep playing her because he also has several others he is playing and eventually he wins.
Most likely he was just a guy who found out when they had sex she wasn't what he was looking for.
In either case it was best that she found out sooner rather than later.
Like I said I have no idea why women continue to do the same things that make no sense and why other women encourage them to. | |
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| we had sex now who should call ?
Posted: 8/21/2007 7:45:04 PM | ~OP~ Sigh. This is such a bad deal. I've been where you are, many years ago now, but the whole uncertainty thing just stinks. The sad sorry truth is, if you are wondering who calls who, you probably shouldn't have ventured into the physical stuff at that stage. To have to clarify/prequalify before sex happens, can leave the door open for him to say whatever he wants in order to get to the actual naked phase of things. And women do the same. I don't know, I'm just weird anymore about getting naked. If I'm not certain it's a situation of equality in the emotional attachment department, it's not happening. And this would explain my celibacy stance. Sigh sigh sigh. I don't like these quessing games and I'm not good at them. If you want to call him, do so. If you don't want to, I'd suggest you might be waiting a loooooong time for a call from him. Sunday sex, Monday no call? That wouldn't work with me. Someone would be taking the lead and making intentions clear. Life is just too short to wait around wondering about things of this nature. If it's really working and the "right" thing, there usually isn't any guessing involved before or after sex does happen. I hope it works out the way you want. JMO  | |
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| we had sex now who should call ?
Posted: 8/21/2007 7:48:48 PM | Hum won't most men say anything to have sex with a woman - 'yeah baby you're my girlfriend!'
I have to agree with some of the others here - if ya don't feel like you can call the guy why would you have sex with him. Sort of like putting the cart before the horse - not a good idea to have sex before you know you can call the guy when you feel like it! | |
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| we had sex now who should call ?
Posted: 8/21/2007 7:52:42 PM | Just call the guy and get it over with. Then you will know where you really stand.
Maybe he just wanted to have sex with you.
Maybe he's scared that you think he has a little****
Maybe he's too busy with hookers and booze to call.
Maybe he was horribly disfigured in a tragic hair-coloring incident.
You're going to make yourself crazy with what-ifs.
COMMUNICATE. Pick up the phone. | |
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| we had sex now who should call ?
Posted: 8/21/2007 8:10:25 PM | | Who was calling who BEFORE the sex? Were you calling him before? Then call him AFTER. This ain't rocket science. | |
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| we had sex now who should call ?
Posted: 8/21/2007 9:17:52 PM | | I am recommending she wait for the higher level of emotional intimacy before having sex. people get confused by sex especially if it's good. it's not as cut and dry as laying down hoping that magically the emotional intimacy will appea bc people have sex. not all women or men operate that way unless they are closed or have walls up to remain guarded. if you never become vulnerable you can't get hurt. by sleeping with the guy she became vulnerable and he hasn't called and it's making her uncomfortable. point proven if she had waited she wouldn't be uncomfortable and waiting, yet again, for a phone call. | |
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| we had sex now who should call ?
Posted: 8/21/2007 9:23:48 PM | | First off, I am the most daft at reading woman but I sure as hell know when she's NOT interested. Think back on mannerisms. From what you have said, he seemed pretty vague to committing to your initial question. The more you pushed, the more serious you 2 got. Secondly, if after you were done your sexual escapade, did you "cuddle", talk, anything that may indicate some other attraction than just sex? Or did he get dressed and leave? As far as should you call....Get on the damn phone and see if he wants to meet for coffee or a drinkl. If he's kinda indifferent and not sure, he doesn't want to be with you and consider it a good night and move on! | |
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| we had sex now who should call ?
Posted: 8/21/2007 9:24:10 PM |
point proven if she had waited she wouldn't be uncomfortable and waiting,
HUH???
How would it have changed anything?
It would have been even worse for her because she would have even more emotional content and time invested when this happened.
I am not advocated either way just pointing out the self imposed ignorance that people do to them selves and recommend to others.
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| we had sex now who should call ?
Posted: 8/21/2007 9:30:38 PM | I'd just like to say to verygreeneyez and her comment about "Sunday sex, Monday no call?" It should actually be Sunday sex and Monday morning breakfast!
Any sexual escapde, especially early on, that doesn't end with a morning role call is more of a booty call! | |
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| we had sex now who should call ?
Posted: 8/21/2007 9:39:26 PM | OP, surely if one of you passed the audition, somebody
should call the other. Don'tcha think?
Pick up the phone. | |
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