| | Have you ever written to someone without seeking a date?Page 1 of 11 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11) | I did a thread search on this topic by putting in the word, "writing" and nothing came up so I'm hoping it isn't redundant. Does anyone ever write to people to tell them that they have a really wonderful profile? I often will look at profiles and some are just incredible so I drop the person a line. In many cases the person is very far away and there would be no chance of getting together for a date, however, what they said touched me in one way or another. In some cases it could be a forum post. In others it could be just something amazing or interesting about their profile.
I've been fortunate enough to have had people write to me about my profile and tell me that it either made them laugh, think or just enjoyed what I wrote.
I read a lot of forum posts from people who aren't exactly enthralled with online dating. Personally, I think it's a lot like buying a lottery ticket. If you do it with the intention that you are going to win (and if you don't you are miserable) it tarnishes the experience. If you do it because it's exciting to see your six little balls drop (oh, there are so many jokes to that one) and you have a chance (albeit slim) of matching them and reaping a reward it's fun. When I write to someone I always think, "I hope that this brighten's their day." Because, in reality, isn't that one of the many reasons why we're here?
Any thoughts? | |
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| Have you ever written to someone without seeking a date?
Posted: 8/25/2007 7:46:47 AM | | Occassionally I am intrigued by what people write on a forum and then I check their profile. If their profile shows me an interesting person, I might drop them a short line to comment on either their profile or about their posting on the forum | |
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| Have you ever written to someone without seeking a date?
Posted: 8/25/2007 7:53:32 AM | Yes I do. I look to see who's viewed me (I spend more time in the forums than searching for dates  ) I read the profile and if theirs is funny or something they say contradicts something they've said before like married looking for friendship then they write how they are so passionate and would give you a back rub...of course I write them and say..don't you think you might want to change that to intimate encounter and state my reasons. Or if they have a common interest in something I like I write or if they have a picture with back ground I recognize but can't put my finger on it I write and ask. It's just a shame to many of these people on here or only after that certain person and don't know talking to people as friends even though they live far away isn't a bad thing either. | |
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| Have you ever written to someone without seeking a date?
Posted: 8/25/2007 7:57:19 AM |
I did a thread search on this topic by putting in the word, "writing" and nothing came up so I'm hoping it isn't redundant. Does anyone ever write to people to tell them that they have a really wonderful profile? I often will look at profiles and some are just incredible so I drop the person a line. In many cases the person is very far away and there would be no chance of getting together for a date, however, what they said touched me in one way or another. In some cases it could be a forum post. In others it could be just something amazing or interesting about their profile.
This is alot more common than you think. There are MANY great people here.  | |
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| Have you ever written to someone without seeking a date?
Posted: 8/25/2007 8:01:59 AM | I only write to someone because of something they say on here or a profile comment or such. I'm not looking for any dates on here or anywhere else.
I am just looking for some conversation, maybe I will learn some things about how to make a future relationship a fun one. If I met someone right now in a possible dating sense I'd probably just screw it up, and I don't want to do that with a possibly nice person. | |
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| Have you ever written to someone without seeking a date?
Posted: 8/25/2007 8:03:23 AM | Hey Mike, I've had the same thing happen to me and I've also written to others just to compliment them on their profile. Unfortunately, there are a lot of skeptical people out there and think everyone has hidden motives or agendas.
I'm going to share a funny story with fellow POFers: One night I was on rather late and ready to log off when an IM window pops up. I was a bit tired but still accepted the invitation even though there was no picture. I don't believe in brushing off people because I find that to be extremely rude so my intention was just to be polite. It is from an older woman (around 44-45 if I remember correctly) and she was interested in my profile because I mentioned the Raptors and she happens to work for the company that owns them (does PR work). We chat for a bit and then she sends me a picture. It is one of those far away body shots where you can't see the face but whatever, I am intrigued because of her work (I love sports). She then goes on to say how she hates how people get so crazy at games and I say that it is only because people are passionate about their particular sport (in this case we were talking about soccer). She then basically freaks out on me and says arguing is not a good way to get a date and blocks me! No good bye or anything. I tried e-mailing her to remind her that SHE was the one who initiated the IM (without a picture mind you) and ask her why can't anyone have a conversation and present a different perspective without it being an argument? No luck. Blocked. LMAO.
I never once used any words to make it seem I was angry. All I did was respectfully give my 2¢. Anyway, just thought I would share that with people. | |
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| Have you ever written to someone without seeking a date?
Posted: 8/25/2007 8:13:39 AM | | OP - absolutely! I've gotten those types of emails and I've sent some too. Having someone, male or female, acknowledge and appreciate something you've contributed is a good feeling. It's never a bad thing to just give someone a simple compliment! It's great! And it makes being on sites like this even more user friendly. | |
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| Have you ever written to someone without seeking a date?
Posted: 8/25/2007 8:22:59 AM | Have sent and received many. I've been involved almost since I joined, so not interested or available to date.
I've made many great friends and still am meeting new ones. And loving every minute of it. | |
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| Have you ever written to someone without seeking a date?
Posted: 8/25/2007 8:29:42 AM | | I do this all the time. I comment via email to someone in the forums or someone who has "viewed me" and I see something in their profile that is witty, charming or even a great pic. Most of them are too far for a serious contact but reassurances never hurt anyone. | |
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| Have you ever written to someone without seeking a date?
Posted: 8/25/2007 8:38:40 AM | | If something makes me really laugh or something I see is out of the ordinary, I'll e-mail and say something nice and expect nothing(like a reply) in return. You do read alot that women get alot of less than desireable e-mails, so I hope when they get some good ones, they have a laugh or put a smile on and think, "wow, someone actually read my profile and made time to send me a nice comment" or something to that effect. | |
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| Have you ever written to someone without seeking a date?
Posted: 8/25/2007 8:44:15 AM | I have developed a wonderful friendship with a guy much younger than me and several states away. I saw one of his posts, looked at his profile, and then sent him an email telling him how much I liked his post and his sense of humor on his profile. I really wasn't looking for a reply, but he did.
Since then, we have exchanged many wonderful emails and have developed a very dear friendship. There was never the expectation of eventually dating, but once we started talking we both realized the potential for a great, satisfying, and lasting friendship. Looking at our profiles, we seem to be totally opposite people, but we share the same sense of humor and passion for writing. I am astounded at how much we do have in common since we began talking. Our conversations are sometimes off the wall, but always leave me laughing and make my day seem brighter. His friendship and his openness have come to mean alot to me and I would never have had a chance to get to know him if it weren't for POF.  | |
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| Have you ever written to someone without seeking a date?
Posted: 8/25/2007 8:44:32 AM | OP, I'm the same way. I'll read a great profile and let the person know I think so. I suppose there's a possibility, though, that the person doesn't care what I think, since I may be outside of their desired demographics, but what the heck, I tell them anyway.
I've also written people, male and female, with the express purpose of becoming friends.
"see your six little balls drop" I suppose if they were that little, more than 2 would be nice. | |
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| Have you ever written to someone without seeking a date?
Posted: 8/25/2007 8:53:30 AM | | I have done it many of times, just to tell the gal that her profile was great and her pic was great, but because they lived very far away that I would not pursue it. There is nothing wrong with giving someone a compliment, in fact, I think it is rather refreshing. If a woman did that for me, I would be happy and thank her. It is just that most people on here are so jaded about things that when you actually here something positive, it is great, so I try to give compliments to women that go out of the way with extraordinary profiles and great pictures, even if they are older (or younger) than what I am looking for or even if they are MANY miles away. | |
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| Have you ever written to someone without seeking a date?
Posted: 8/25/2007 9:01:46 AM | | I send e-mails all the time! What really rubs me the wrong way it that 99.9% of the men don't even write back and say THANKS! I quess my mother raised me wrong, I was alway taught to say THANK YOU! These men on this site, from what I have seen have NO MANNERS AT ALL!!!!!! Geeze I need to get the hell off here and find another site!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! | |
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| Have you ever written to someone without seeking a date?
Posted: 8/25/2007 9:03:04 AM | | Absolutely!!! Just yesterday I e-mailed someone off of hear to say I liked their responses on the forums, I liked their wit, then checking out their profile was even better! My intention was just that, thanks for the laugh. Is she attractive? You bet! But she lives 9 hours away, I don't have much faith in LDR'S right now. Point being, I was honest in my message, ulterior motives weren't in play. | |
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| Have you ever written to someone without seeking a date?
Posted: 8/25/2007 9:07:11 AM | | Oh yes, and have a few very good friendships from doing exactly that. Lindamac - I have the same experiences you do with many women. To some this is perhaps more of a 'numbers' game or there's some other issue where they're not serious about treating everyone in here as a real person. However, as the first sentance states and others have posted, there are also some wonderful folks out here. Good luck all! | |
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| Have you ever written to someone without seeking a date?
Posted: 8/25/2007 9:07:25 AM | I do this all the time. I have made such wonderful friends. Both women and men. I must admit, the men tend to stay more in contact, the women fade away. I guess they are too busy pursuing men. Being single can sometimes be very lonely, even when you're dating. But when I turn on my computer and one of my buddies has written me telling me about his/her day and how I'm doing. Well! The lonliness goes away, because someone cares enough to write and inquire. So I think writing someone without seeking a date has been very gratifying for me.   | |
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| Have you ever written to someone without seeking a date?
Posted: 8/25/2007 9:23:14 AM | I occasionally email someone who in some way caught my interest. Either they write their profile in an interesting way or sometimes to ask about a picture, and occasionally the forums. I have received emails asking about my yard and never felt there was a hidden agenda.
Then again I talk to the cashiers at checkout counters, people on the street if the same thing we see caught our interest, anywhere where you can be nice to a person. If it is not going to cost you anything why not. I may not make a big change in the world but for a moment I try to nudge it in a friendlier direction.
It always impresses me when a person bothers to send a line back to say thanks for the comment or answers my question. I tend to leave it at that unless they give a response that leads into further discussions. I find it funny that people write what a wonderful considerate person they are and they can not bother to write ‘thanks’ and click send. Oh well. To each his own. | |
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