| Should I give him another chance?
Posted: 8/28/2007 11:17:54 PM | So I'll try to keep this a shorter version of a VERY long story.
I met this guy named Jauhn, a year and a half ago, and he's totally amazing. I fell in love with him after a while of dating, and I still love him very much. But like everyone, he has character flaws.
He has the ability to be the most amazing person to have ever walked on two legs, to make me feel like I'm the only girl in the world that matters, and that everything was going to work out between us, no matter what happened. He also had the ability to make me feel like crap, and like I didn't matter at all to him, or I was just "another girl" and only wanted to get into my pants.
We went through a lot together. Mostly his life problems, and some of my own. He use to be into hardcore drugs, and drinking, and partying. He was use to getting anything and everything he wanted. No one ever told him "No." all through his life. And when he met me, he only wanted to screw me then leave me. But because I'm waiting for marriage, I turned him down like I have every other guy. And he took that as a challenge, and tried to persuade me by dating me. But after a while, he started to change. After about a year, he quit doing the drugs entirely, only drinks socially, and doesn't party so much. He got back into school, and was serious about his life. He wasn't so suicidal, and he started to become a real man.
He always loved to tell me how much I inspired him to be a better person. And before he knew it, he was telling me he loved me, and that he meant it, and it wasn't about the sex at all anymore. He said he was willing to wait, and he was the one who always brought up the marriage subject. Which excited me beyond anything. But he neglected me a lot. He fell into old habits when he'd get stressed, and he'd tend to forget about me, when he'd get busy.
This last time we dated, I broke up with him, and told him that we couldn't talk anymore. I've tried the whole "Let's just be friends" thing. And we were best friends when we weren't dating. But I still wanted him, and as long as I had a reason to hold on, I was never going to let go and move on. So then I tried the whole, try to forget him entirely and move on. It's been almost 4 months, and I can't forget him. I wanna talk to him so bad, it hurts. I know him like book. I know what to say and not to say around him. But I don't know if I should.
So my question is:
When do you keep fighting, and when do you just quit?
Should I keep up with this not talking deal, and hope that I make progress? Or should I just give it up, and just tell him I don't want to live without him?
[[Yes, I can live without him, but do I have to?]]
Ugh, sorry, it's long. | |
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| Should I give him another chance?
Posted: 8/28/2007 11:29:05 PM | u have morphine written on ur first pic like its sumthin u endorse...and ur complainin he was once on drugs? lol ok
id say go back to him. ur goin to anyways. even though hes not anythin...(until hes playin that roll to impress u) that u described on ur "first date" "wants" out of sumone.
and remember...u can take sum harsh words....constructive critisism.
but ill tell u right now...in ten yrs its goin to be the same deal as it is right now. u thinkin of him...him forgettin all about u until he feels like rememberin u.
guy sounds like a joke.
but ur 18....still have so much learnin to do yet...and mistakes to be made and learned from.
ahhh...what it was like to be young and in love with sumone who didnt love ya back. | |
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| Should I give him another chance?
Posted: 8/28/2007 11:34:24 PM | Lol. The Morphine is just a piece of a song lyric by Kill Hannah.
Just a real quick off topic.
I'm not worried about constructive criticism. Just as long as you're not brutal about it. But yeah, I dunno. There's 2 ways this can go. Either it'll be the same thing over and over, and him making empty promises, and my actually letting myself believe that he could ever be more than he is. OR, he'll continue to change for the better, like he has. And be the man he started out to be. | |
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| Should I give him another chance?
Posted: 8/28/2007 11:43:49 PM | miss if he was goin to change for the better...hed have done it by now. ur young. ive been around the block a bit. dont hook urself to a sinkin ship...cuz its only gonna drag u down as well.
talk to sum of the older ladies thats been in ur shoes when they were younger...and really listen to em. ur gonna see that stayin with this guy will lead to ur own destruction. and u dont want that...especially as young as u r. u have ur whole life ahead of u....choose ur paths wisely. when ur older...ull be glad u did.
another way to look at it is this....
what would u tell ur daughter (pretend u had one) if she came to u with this situation. or ur lil sister? ud tell them to forget him and find sum guy whos better and more grounded...sumone who has goals...respect for his girl ALL the time...not SUM of the time. that is...if u wanted the best for her....right?
in ur profile u describe a man...not a boy. yet ur in love with a boy. and im also here to tell ya...we all have gone through the pain of a first love not workin out. YOU WILL SURVIVE! hurts for awhile...but in time ull get over it...and ull look back and laugh at what u went through for him.
(damn im gettin old ...i dont even know current song titles anymore) | |
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| Should I give him another chance?
Posted: 8/28/2007 11:49:46 PM | Lol.
You're right, you're right. And I was afraid someone would say it. And I hate myself for asking now, 'cause I already knew all that, but I just didn't wanna admit it. And now that someone's said it, I really should go through with it now, and quit looking back. He's in the past, and that's where he belongs.
Ugh, why'd you have to tell me the truth. But thanks. Seriously. I'm gonna keep working at moving on. | |
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| Should I give him another chance?
Posted: 8/28/2007 11:52:44 PM | People hardly ever change for good.
They might change for a tiny bit of time but most of them fall back into old habit.
The only thing thats gonna make him change is time to grow up and even that is not guaranteed.
I wish him all the luck in the world to change and I guess you too, because I'm willing to bet that you are gonna go back. | |
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| Should I give him another chance?
Posted: 8/28/2007 11:53:12 PM | doesnt the truth just suck? lol
i know...i hate it most of the time myself. but honestly miss...in a yr...two yrs...ur gonna be real happy u did.
also...u mentioned hes real good at puttin u down....
from a professional stand point on things....it will get worse. he sounds real outta control. and one day...ill bet u....he will take it to the point of bein violent with ya. mark my words.
if she...(u OP) chooses to go back to him...shes chosen him over herself. and will live to regret it. but thats her choice.
find ur man. loose the boy.
best of luck to u miss! | |
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| Should I give him another chance?
Posted: 8/28/2007 11:58:29 PM | Thanks.
I'm gonna do that. I ended it 4 months ago, and I'm not gonna go back on it now.
I'm just too impatient to wait any longer to just be over him already. It's really stressing me out. | |
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| Should I give him another chance?
Posted: 8/29/2007 12:02:49 AM | hunny I know it's hard. Believe me I do. But you will be happy you kicked him out of your life someday. maybe not today and prolly not tommrow but it will all make sence in time.
Do you believe in fate? If you do sometimes it helps to remember that whats ment to be will always find a way. | |
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| Should I give him another chance?
Posted: 8/29/2007 12:03:28 AM | when that urge hits u to call him...and ur think u have no control over ur hands pickin up that phone and callin him....
just picture him doin sumthin disgustin and gross...like pickin his nose and eatin it or sumthin.
sick i know lol....but i did this when i was goin through my divorce...worked in most cases till i had a few minutes to get my head on straight again.
the power of the mind and imagination is a beautiful thing!
just think of mr. buggar>>>>
and ull do fine | |
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| Should I give him another chance?
Posted: 8/29/2007 12:06:32 AM |
Do you believe in fate?
Yes, I do. And that's kinda helped me to know that we happened for a reason, and it's over for a reason. | |
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| Should I give him another chance?
Posted: 8/29/2007 12:09:19 AM | LMAO.
Thanks for the image. I'll do that too. My method up 'til now, was praying for him [['Cause I am religious, after all.]] And that kinda helped me to get a grip, but it hasn't taken away the urge entirely. I still get it from time to time. But at least now, I have a new thing to try, lol.
I've also tried the counseling idea of writing a letter to him, telling him all my emotions on the subject. Then writing a letter back to myself from him of what I wish he'd say. And that helped for a while. | |
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| Should I give him another chance?
Posted: 8/29/2007 12:19:35 AM | another thing that helps is to dwell on all his fults!
Really..everytime you find yourself thinking about him, start to think about 5 things that you hate about him.
Don't just count them off in your head, really try to picture him doing tho's things. | |
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| Should I give him another chance?
Posted: 8/29/2007 12:59:24 AM | In answer to your question, I would have to say move on and forget him. He has proved to you that he just doesn't have what it takes to be in a mature relationship. When someone truly cares for you they respect you and your feelings. Your relationship has been on a roller coaster ride for quite sometime now and your ticket has expired - time to move on and find another thrill. Relationships are never easy but the best advice I can give you is to always look for someone who supports you, your opinions, and will be there for you every step of the way - not just for the good times - the good times are always easy to find - but the bad times are the ones that prove just how much someone loves you. | |
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| Should I give him another chance?
Posted: 8/29/2007 1:18:40 AM | if you really thought this child was for you then you wouldnt be on here asking questions
listen to your own mind telling you hes a problem, do you need a problem in your life?
if the relationship has been heavy it can take more than 4 months to get over, took me about 9 months to get over a relationship that i ended, ended because it wasnt right.
the best thing you can do is walk away totallt and in time you may get to be friends with him again but not until your over him will you get that.
sometimes the best way to find yourself is to be single for a while, only you depending on you, hes not a part of you.
good luck and keep smiling | |
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| Should I give him another chance?
Posted: 8/29/2007 1:28:21 AM | | Give him another chance. That way you'll be off the market and you won't end up crushing someone that actually likes you. | |
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LWK
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Joined: 7/10/2006
Msg: 17 | |
| Should I give him another chance?
Posted: 8/29/2007 1:37:07 AM | Some wise words sent to me recently that made alot of sense.
By T. D. Jakes
There are people who can walk away from you.
And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you: let them walk.
I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone.
When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.
The bible said that, they came out from us that it might be made manifest that they were not for us. For had they been of us, no doubt they would have continued with us. [1 John 2:19]
People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay.
Let them go.
And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person it just means that their part in the story is over and you've got to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead. You've got to know when it's dead.
You've got to know when it's over. Let me tell you something. I've got the gift of good-bye. It's the tenth spiritual gift, I believe in good-bye. It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He'll give it to me. And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it. Stop begging people to stay.
Let them go!!
If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to......
LET IT GO!!!
If you are holding on to past hurts and pains ......
LET IT GO!!!
If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and see your worth.....
LET IT GO!!!
If someone has angered you ........
LET IT GO!!!
If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge......
LET IT GO!!!
If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction......
LET IT GO!!!
If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or talents
LET IT GO!!!
If you have a bad attitude.......
LET IT GO!!!
If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better......
LET IT GO!!!
If you're stuck in the past and God is trying to take you to a new level in Him......
LET IT GO!!!
If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship.................
LET IT GO!!!
If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try to help themselves.....
LET IT GO!!!
If you're feeling depressed and stressed.........
LET IT GO!!!
If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling yourself and God is saying "take your hands off of it," then you need to......
LET IT GO!!!
Let the past be the past. Forget the former things. GOD is doing a new thing for 2007!!!
LET IT GO!!!
Get Right or Get Left …think about it, and then…
LET IT GO!!!
"The Battle is the Lord's!" | |
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| Should I give him another chance?
Posted: 8/31/2007 5:41:04 PM | | no no no no no. trust me out of all people because i have been doun a road simmilar to yours but with more twists and turns than you can ever belive. but i wouldnt have so many twists and turn if i hadnt went back to her after six months of being seperate. if you know in your heart that you gave the relatinship your all then thats all you can do end of story bottom line. most importantly you can never change a person they have to change themseves because they want to change not because you want them to change. and yeah they might change for you for a year or two or three, but if the person doesnt change for themselves and changed because you wanted them to then sooner or later they will break doun in a toughf situation and go back to there old ways. guarenteed....... ypu just have to wait for the right person to come along and let god lead you the way. but if a relationship didnt work once wwhen u gave it your all then it never will.. i hope u take my advice good luck. hey email me back | |
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