| Is it wrong to want a Friend with Benefits?
Posted: 8/29/2007 11:25:34 AM | Hi, my first post on here but I've been reading for some time. I was wondering if it was so wrong to look for someone to have benefits with? I certainly don't mean anything along the lines of have sex then leave. An ongoing relationship where intimacy is the focus... Is it so wrong? It seems like its looked down on or so everywhere. | |
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| Is it wrong to want a Friend with Benefits?
Posted: 8/29/2007 11:32:56 AM | Nope not at all. I have a friend with benefits. We hang out all the time and go to baseball games and sex is just part of it. There is nothing wrong with not wanting a relationship. Plus you get the best part, sex and friendship? It is great. Let me know how it goes.  | |
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| Is it wrong to want a Friend with Benefits?
Posted: 8/29/2007 11:33:33 AM | To me it's actually very sad.... I look around and all I see is people that don't want to invest in a strong healthy relationship... they just want sex.... FWB is everywhere. I think in the end one party ends up caring more about the other party and then someone get's hurt.
I don't judge someone that wants a FWB relationship...... it's just not what I want. | |
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| Is it wrong to want a Friend with Benefits?
Posted: 8/29/2007 11:34:39 AM | | I'm glad to hear a positive response. I guess the problem I have is not being able to incorporate the "sex" into a friendship. I'm confused if the person would ever even consider the idea! I can meet people just fine out and about, just not fully prepared to talk to them about sex :P | |
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| Is it wrong to want a Friend with Benefits?
Posted: 8/29/2007 11:36:51 AM | | This is my opinion, but I think there is something very wrong with that kind of relationship. Its not a healthy relationship. I dont mean you need to jump into something serious, but if youre going to find someone just to have sex with, then youre defeating the purpose of meaningful sex. Sex is suppose to be shared with someone that you love; something that you cant imagine doing with someone else. How much intimacy can you expect from a friend with benefits, if you know that person might be hooking up with someone else? | |
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| Is it wrong to want a Friend with Benefits?
Posted: 8/29/2007 11:53:02 AM | | It's probably a bad idea. Someone (usually the female) gets hurt. Even if you make it clear from the start that's all you want, she could fall in love, and it ends with her seeking out revenge because you wouldn't commit to her. | |
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| Is it wrong to want a Friend with Benefits?
Posted: 8/29/2007 11:54:41 AM | | Well, it's not that I'm a guy not willing to commit. Quite the opposite. I just got out of a pretty serious relationship but ever since, I've felt the need to sort of have some expression with someone but without having to fully remove the possibilities of my ex. Granted I know I'm not over her but do to certain circumstances I have no way of contacting her for some weeks/months. | |
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| Is it wrong to want a Friend with Benefits?
Posted: 8/29/2007 11:56:49 AM | | OP what you are talking about is a relationship do not fool yourself. Why is this so attractive to you? Not having to worry about getting sex on a regular basis? You cant achieve emotional intimacy with someone? You are too busy? Because having friends with benefits is a relationship whether you want to admit it or not and that is why they so rarely work out well because peopel lie to themselves about the dynamic. | |
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| Is it wrong to want a Friend with Benefits?
Posted: 8/29/2007 11:58:14 AM | I've been there and done that - its ok for a while until one or the other gets more attatched. I don't think its something you should really look for - unless you are getting over a relationship and just want the sex. In which case you should just admit that. I do think if its something you are going to do "the rules" have to be set out from the beginning otherwise it just won't work.
I personally wouldn't do it again, sex in a proper commited relationship is much better! As I say - one night stands and FWB are ok if you are getting over someone else and don't want to commit fully to anyone, but the risks are higher than you think, and usually it won't work out for long. | |
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vhdc
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Joined: 7/18/2006
Msg: 10 | |
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| Is it wrong to want a Friend with Benefits?
Posted: 8/29/2007 12:09:47 PM | Geez I feel like a hated person now ._.
Part of the problem I guess is I'm slightly confused on how my feelings are working. I hate to think that I come off as some kind of sex freak. Overall I guess I'm looking for something so splendid that I get over my old ex or something temporary... | |
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| Is it wrong to want a Friend with Benefits?
Posted: 8/29/2007 12:55:55 PM | | I personally have no problem with FWB, however I haven't personally had any FWB for i'm still a virgin so that pretty much says it all for me. However i'd be willing to have a FWB if we both agreed to it and some things and "rules". I've had lots of friends with FWB and most turned out in the end after one or the other got into an actual relationship. But i've also heard some bad and sad things come out of FWB *shrugs* to each their own I say, like I said I personally wouldn't mind having one I guess but heck i'm 22 and still a virgin so why not wait for one I love and care for right? | |
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| Is it wrong to want a Friend with Benefits?
Posted: 8/29/2007 1:09:59 PM | I never understand these "is it wrong for 2 consenting adults to have sex?" questions.
Wrong according to what? State laws, the church, your grandmother?
Whose approval or disapproval are you looking for? | |
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| Is it wrong to want a Friend with Benefits?
Posted: 8/29/2007 1:21:35 PM | LMAO @
Wrong according to what? State laws, the church, your grandmother?
If its ok with you then its ok. If its not ok with you then its not ok. Different strokes and all that. But I wouldn't be making choises about anything based on what other people think. Do whats right for you. | |
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| Is it wrong to want a Friend with Benefits?
Posted: 8/29/2007 1:59:29 PM | | No it isnt wrong. My best male friend is friend with benifits. He is amazing as a friend and partner (sex). We have an on going friends ship. I can party with him, cry on his shoulder, have wonderful sex, go to dinner and movie. It's about being friends first and adding sex from time to time. It's not wrong it can be wonderful. It's looked down at because most people dont have a positive view of sex. Somehow sex is bad or naughty. Sex is not to be talked about openly. It also comes down to your relationship with the guy. If it is strong and caring sex isnt going to destroy it unless you get weirded out. Then you have to talk about your feelings. It's liek any relationship. You ahve to work at it. | |
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| Is it wrong to want a Friend with Benefits?
Posted: 9/1/2007 8:51:31 PM | | I have a FWB. She is also my room mate and my best female friend. She has her room ( it's her house) , and I have mine. We can talk about ANYTHING without shame or modesty,and do so openly. Under normal circumstances we both sleep in our respective bedrooms. And I might add that we both know that the other is sleeping nude. I know where she's been and she knows where I've been, but, neither one of us really wants a relationship right now. We both respect the other's privacy, but, we always know that we can depend on each other in a pinch. It all works out good here. | |
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| Is it wrong to want a Friend with Benefits?
Posted: 9/1/2007 9:05:11 PM | I find FWB relationships to be too complicated and undefined. Usually someone ends up getting hurt.
If you can do it and be happy, more power to you. It's not "wrong," it's just difficult to pull off. | |
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| Is it wrong to want a Friend with Benefits?
Posted: 9/1/2007 9:12:32 PM | I've never had FWB but for me it'd probably be too emotionally confusing. My brain wouldn't know where the "Friend" line and the "Lover" lines are or if they even existed anymore. G'Blass those that can and do, just not for me I think.
Kevin | |
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| Is it wrong to want a Friend with Benefits?
Posted: 9/1/2007 9:26:34 PM | Hi OP,
Of course it's not wrong to want a friend with benefits. I didn't check your profile, but I have to assume that since you are on this site, you're a full grown adult and as such, you have every right to do as you please as long as you harm no one...so just make sure you are up front and honest with your intentions when you do contact someone, and just enjoy yourself and never mind what others say....others are not you, and therefore "they" can't possibly know what is good for you.
Take care... and have fun!
Love and peace...
Oldsoul... | |
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| Is it wrong to want a Friend with Benefits?
Posted: 9/1/2007 10:04:09 PM | Friends with Benefits are fine..the main thing.. When you pick a girl/woman make sure she is into the sex only like you.. Trust me...they are around..... It's not just guys that want a quick fix with NO STRINGS......
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| Is it wrong to want a Friend with Benefits?
Posted: 9/1/2007 11:25:32 PM | OP there is nothing wrong with a FWB. Just one thing though. The emphasis is on friend, not on the sex.
So looking for someone new to have as an FWB is counter productive. As it is friends first and foremost.
Sounds more like what you are looking for is a fvck buddie. There the emphasis is on the sex.
Nothing wrong with that either but calling it one thing and looking for the other could tend to be construed as misleading. | |
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