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Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > DO YOU DREAM ABOUT YOUR EX?      Home login  
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 jrguitar23
Joined: 5/3/2005
Msg: 1
DO YOU DREAM ABOUT YOUR EX?Page 1 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
I've been divorced for over a year, and still have dreams about my ex-wife. The dreams aren't necessarily disturbing, sometimes they're just day-to-day events I'm dreaming, but they still hurt like Hell. Should I look into a lobotomy, or just drink myself into a stupor every night before bed, or hire a hooker?(just kidding) We've had no contact since last March 2004.
 lateā„¢
Joined: 1/9/2005
Msg: 2
DO YOU DREAM ABOUT YOUR EX?
Posted: 5/11/2005 3:25:38 PM
This can be an indicator of reactive depression, talk to your doctor about it. I used to fear falling asleep because of "day to day event" dreams (ex), .....they were always disturbing and always resulted in waking up feeling like I've been running all night.......
 justruby
Joined: 5/3/2005
Msg: 3
DO YOU DREAM ABOUT YOUR EX?
Posted: 5/11/2005 9:54:40 PM
I have been divorced for over a year and have rare (but calm and peaceful) contact with my ex-husband. I do dream about him, and most of the dreams are sex dreams. No way do I want him back in any manner. I think that for me I dream of sex with him becuase he has so far been the one with whom I have had the greatest quantity of sex and my brain just pulls that out of the subconscious. Maybe you are not necessarily wanting her back, but in your sleep, your mind is sifting through memories of happier times. Of course, I'm not an expert, but I don't think you're crazy. If you are, then I am too.


And of course it hurts. Marriage is THE strongest bond you can have with a person (except for the mother-child bond but as a man well...) and when it is broken, regardless of the circumstances that cuased it to end, it is still the most horrible pain I have ever felt. But time heals all wounds---even though they leave scars.
 Luvisalluneed
Joined: 2/19/2005
Msg: 4
DO YOU DREAM ABOUT YOUR EX?
Posted: 5/11/2005 9:55:12 PM
I do still dream about the Basta*d, usually we are rolling around on the ground doing some fisticuffing!!! and I m actually winning for a change!!!It'll pass, I know that sounds so abrupt, but it does pass,a nd the pain will lesson over time... trust me on this...

Peace, and good dreams to you...

~*Red*~
 grubeci
Joined: 10/30/2003
Msg: 5
view profile
History
DO YOU DREAM ABOUT YOUR EX?
Posted: 5/11/2005 10:04:24 PM
I read dreams about your g.f. symbolizes how you treat yourself. You treat her good in dream right?
 dudio
Joined: 1/30/2005
Msg: 6
DO YOU DREAM ABOUT YOUR EX?
Posted: 5/11/2005 10:12:13 PM

I've been divorced for over a year, and still have dreams about my ex-wife. The dreams aren't necessarily disturbing, sometimes they're just day-to-day events I'm dreaming, but they still hurt like Hell. Should I look into a lobotomy, or just drink myself into a stupor every night before bed, or hire a hooker?(just kidding) We've had no contact since last March 2004.


I still dream of the ex.
.. and it's been about 2 years that we've been split.
I think it has to do how your heart treasures stuff.

For some people, a week is fine, and there's no looking back.
.. and then there's schmucks like us ;)

Do the things you enjoy, and your mind will thank you.
 blunite
Joined: 11/9/2004
Msg: 7
DO YOU DREAM ABOUT YOUR EX?
Posted: 5/11/2005 10:22:00 PM
Yes, the horror, the horror.......
 jennay!
Joined: 2/21/2005
Msg: 8
DO YOU DREAM ABOUT YOUR EX?
Posted: 5/11/2005 11:06:55 PM
You know i thought i was the only person who dreamed about their ex...Thats good to know that others go through this as well...My dreams are never bad in fact they are usually sex dreams.We have been seperated over a yr and a half, and i honestly believe time marches on. but i also believe because he takes up very memorable space in my brain - i get to dream about him for a while...oh the joys of dreaming of your ex....lol why couldnt it be some hot young sailor or something...lol
 jennay!
Joined: 2/21/2005
Msg: 9
DO YOU DREAM ABOUT YOUR EX?
Posted: 5/11/2005 11:07:12 PM
You know i thought i was the only person who dreamed about their ex...Thats good to know that others go through this as well...My dreams are never bad in fact they are usually sex dreams.We have been seperated over a yr and a half, and i honestly believe time marches on. but i also believe because he takes up very memorable space in my brain - i get to dream about him for a while...oh the joys of dreaming of your ex....lol why couldnt it be some hot young sailor or something...lol
 Gangrel_in_london
Joined: 9/24/2004
Msg: 10
DO YOU DREAM ABOUT YOUR EX?
Posted: 5/11/2005 11:51:40 PM
Yes. And Hell hath no greater fury than the hell we wrap ourselves in, does it.

I prefer Lager.

~W.S.
 GavinFire
Joined: 3/29/2005
Msg: 11
DO YOU DREAM ABOUT YOUR EX?
Posted: 5/12/2005 12:01:49 AM
Yes, I don't remember my dreams very often but a couple of weeks ago I had a dream of making love to my ex - it felt fine until I woke up and the pain hit me again - realising that it wasn't going to happen in real life ever again.

The thing is my daytime thoughts also revolve about her - almost anything I can think of eventually ends up with me thinking about her. It's been two months now since she went off with someone else - the pain is at least less, but there are still certain films and programs I can't watch because of memories and associations...
 Gangrel_in_london
Joined: 9/24/2004
Msg: 12
DO YOU DREAM ABOUT YOUR EX?
Posted: 5/12/2005 12:09:00 AM
Yes, I do. And Hell hath no greater fury than the hell we wrap ourselves in, does it.

I prefer Lager to achieve a proper stupor.

It sounds bad, but it's not, really. Some of us simply give the smeg up. In all honesty, I question the point of all that shite back there on a daily basis. I can think of no point worthy. By her own admission, I did nothing wrong and was a great husband, one for the record books. Thanks for the back-handed compliment, I suppose.

Do I think of her, yes. Often, yes. And from experience, I'm telling you to stop. It doesn't get better from down here.

"When you're in a hole, stop digging". I've heard that from everyone that does not live my life. I'm honestly sick of it. Until they live what I live, they should shut the smeg up. I appreciate the fact that some are recovering from abusive relationships and some are coming out of relationships that simply stopped....but for Christs sake, sometimes I'm fighting for the simple will to keep on, here: The minute I think I'm over it, my own brain tends to serve up a "Greatest Hits" album. It does it so well that I'm almost afraid to sleep.

After four years of this, I hope you take my advice. Stop now.

When you figure out how to do that, let me know.

~W.S.

Edit: On an end note, I am actually glad she's finally happy. I hope it lasts, and she found what she was looking for. Pity I wasn't part of it, after the vows and all.
 GavinFire
Joined: 3/29/2005
Msg: 13
DO YOU DREAM ABOUT YOUR EX?
Posted: 5/12/2005 12:38:40 AM
gangrel_in_london wrote:

By her own admission, I did nothing wrong and was a great husband, one for the record books. Thanks for the back-handed compliment, I suppose.


You too? I wasn't married, but she'd accepted my engagement proposal two months before she told me she'd met someone else.

Being told "you're very nice but I have to try this" almost hurts more than an argument. I my first relationship we argued all the time - at least I knew that there was something wrong. This time, no indication that it wasn't working - no arguments, just a sudden change of mind on her part...
 GavinFire
Joined: 3/29/2005
Msg: 14
DO YOU DREAM ABOUT YOUR EX?
Posted: 5/12/2005 12:42:47 AM
Oops, please excuse the messed up quoting above...
 scootermojo
Joined: 1/21/2005
Msg: 15
DO YOU DREAM ABOUT YOUR EX?
Posted: 5/12/2005 12:48:10 AM
i broke up with who i still consider to be the love of my life 10 years ago and even though i dated a few girls in between then and now, i never dreamed of them but i only dreamed of her for up until last year she was the only one i was ever in love with. even though it hella sucked and hurt when i would awake from my dreams about her, they were always good dreams, i relished every time i would dream about her for it was one more second with her and it felt so real. every time this happened i would just lay in bed after i awoke and try to fall back asleep and dream about her again but it would never work.

last summer, i met another girl and i fell in love with her for only the second time and the dreams stopped and i haven't had one about the first girl since. with this new girl, we didn't last nearly as long, everyting was wrong and it all ended horribly and with much anymosity towards each other and i have no desire to be with her, unlike the girl 10 years prior, but i've had a handfull of dreams with this girl in the few months that have passed since we stopped dating.

it's strange for although i loved this recent girl very much and intensely i don't want to dream about her and wish the dreams of my one true love would return but i'm afraid they never will. i guess i'll unfortunately keep dreaming about this last girl until i meet another and actually fall in love again, if that will even happen.
 Gangrel_in_london
Joined: 9/24/2004
Msg: 16
DO YOU DREAM ABOUT YOUR EX?
Posted: 5/12/2005 12:55:43 AM
She had the audacity to ask if she could do it until she "had it out of" her system.

She, at that moment, pulled my heart out through my a***.

As to indication, there were a couple of things, but since she was my wife, I trusted her. When it happened, it happened fast...

I woke up to a great marriage, and I was packing my shite as the sun set that day.

~W.S.

Edit: A line from The Wedding Singer comes to mind.

"Again...something that would have been good to know YESTERDAY!!!!"

And Men in Black:

"You know what they say...it's better to have loved and lost than never have loved at all."

"...Try it."
 FunLovinFella
Joined: 4/7/2005
Msg: 17
DO YOU DREAM ABOUT YOUR EX?
Posted: 5/12/2005 12:59:57 AM
I had a dream as recent as last week that I ran into my ex girlfriend who I hadn't seen for a full year now, and made out with her with all the passion I ever had for her... I woke up feeling quite happy and refreshed... and then I made out with a totally different and new woman later that night, who, not unlike my ex, I also never heard from again, ahahah... life can be screwy like that sometimes.
 scootermojo
Joined: 1/21/2005
Msg: 18
DO YOU DREAM ABOUT YOUR EX?
Posted: 5/12/2005 1:19:51 AM

"You know what they say...it's better to have loved and lost than never have loved at all."

"...Try it."


gangrel, that is absolutely one of my favorite movie quotes and it is so true.
 teggs
Joined: 2/3/2004
Msg: 19
DO YOU DREAM ABOUT YOUR EX?
Posted: 5/12/2005 1:52:54 AM
Hey you 'lucky' sufferers.. ;)
I've been divorced 15 years- after 5 kids in 20+ years- and I was a good family man, but with the wrong woman.
Dreams of ex. for me still occur randomly,especially when there's no current relationship to distract.
Unfinished business will always surface in dreams and it's quite healthy and normal- so long as you don't let it affect your waking happiness.
To do this well means 'moving on', in the- trade vernacular,and takes internal work
This task is never easy- even if you are a balanced caring type.
Good luck all you broken hearts..the price of having feeling..better than having none,in the long run !
 Rocky444
Joined: 3/29/2005
Msg: 20
view profile
History
DO YOU DREAM ABOUT YOUR EX?
Posted: 5/12/2005 2:06:59 AM
I dream about killing my first girlfriend
I dream about marrying my 2nd girlfriend
I dream about being with Hally Berry
 DragonRed
Joined: 5/4/2005
Msg: 21
DO YOU DREAM ABOUT YOUR EX?
Posted: 5/12/2005 2:10:43 AM
dudio..Don't be hard on Yourself Bro..there was Love there once...
 FabulousKisser
Joined: 3/27/2005
Msg: 22
DO YOU DREAM ABOUT YOUR EX?
Posted: 5/12/2005 2:48:23 AM
When I moved on, I remember waking up in the morning and realizing he's not sleeping next to me.. pain can be so inviting and yet, at the time, I missed him like when you miss your mommy at your first day of school, or something like it, or your pet frog died of dehydration because the pet owner's advised was incorrect, or something like it.. and yes, I've had dreams where I've come to visit him in the 'burbs at his mom's house, other dreams involve him doing his 'own thing', some involve almost 'doing it' but we were interrupted, never got to orgasm, some involved visiting friends and sitting around a dining room table having a drink and laughing and making jokes and the room was dim, there was a stove and a long hallway connecting the front door and on the other side of to the north was this huge vast dark space--a very frightening feeling, but it's been several months since I've dreamed about him
ONE MOVIE I RECOMMEND IS "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind".. you'll luv it!
 Gangrel_in_london
Joined: 9/24/2004
Msg: 23
DO YOU DREAM ABOUT YOUR EX?
Posted: 5/12/2005 2:55:02 AM
Welcome, scooter.

~W.S.
 GavinFire
Joined: 3/29/2005
Msg: 24
DO YOU DREAM ABOUT YOUR EX?
Posted: 5/12/2005 4:31:18 AM
FabulousKisser wrote:

ONE MOVIE I RECOMMEND IS "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind".. you'll luv it!


I've seen it, although at the time I was watching it with my now ex - I never had any thought that it would be me in that situation - wanting to forget, if I couldn't be with her...
 DNT38
Joined: 1/11/2005
Msg: 25
DO YOU DREAM ABOUT YOUR EX?
Posted: 5/12/2005 4:50:25 AM
I gotta admit that I've often caught myself dreaming of my Ex. Dreamt of good times and of bad times, rough days together and of wild sex together. Dreamt of the day my daughter was born and how close we felt at that time. Dreamt of days that we felt distant and argued over little things. Dreamt of some of the vacations we took together and dreamt of the home we worked so hard to get. I've dreamt that I've woken up and found her in bed with me, much to my surprise.

I think these dreams will last for ever for me....at least I hope they do.

Technically I don't have an Ex. It was two years ago today that my wife passed away. Although my life carries on and I meet new people and create new situations in my life to spawn new dreams...(hoping to meet someone that will give me reasons to dream of them),I hope the dreams of her never really fade away. It may hurt to remember what I no longer have....but I still want to remember nontheless.
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