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| how do you go about gentley telling someone their dog needs to be put down?
Posted: 9/5/2007 12:35:53 PM | I know of a dog that really shouldn't be alive anymore and I can't find the words to tell his owner that it's past time for him to be put down.
Just so you know what I mean,
He has lost all control of his bowels and doesn't know that he needs to go to the bathroom until it's already out.
He can barely walk and they actually have to help him stand up in the morning.
he eats about a cup of food a day and used to eat 5 cups of food (he's a very large dog
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he's deaf and almost blind.
he has a tumor on his side that's about the size of a half of a soccer ball.
If he stands still for more than a minute he falls over.
I don't want to just flat out say "put your dog down now" because these people are very attached to their dog and they aren't quite ready to let him go.
I tried telling them a few months ago that it was time and that they wouldn't want to live like that so why should he, yet he's still alive. the only thing that's really keeping him going is his heart.
If anyone has advice on this please let me know. i've never personally had to put a pet down so I don't know how hard it really is to just let them go, but it's not fair to this poor dog to have to suffer because they aren't ready. | |
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| how do you go about gentley telling someone their dog needs to be put down?
Posted: 9/5/2007 12:46:59 PM | You can't,... they already KNOW that, but as you put it , "THEY aren't ready to let him go" and YES it IS selfish and unfair.
I worked for a vet for years and I can't recount how many times folks cancelled euthansia appointments because Fido was having a good day today so "he" wasn't ready to go. It is akin to losing a child for these people and they can't see past their own pain. Unless Fido is in extreme verbal pain they won't move on it,... sad thing is dogs are extremely good at hiding how much pain they truly are in. therefore people tend to believe that their dog is not hurting or unhappy.
Only idea I can think of is to perhaps suggest a trip to the vet to see if they can come up with some type of an idea to help increase Fido's appetite. Once in the appt the vet WILL let them know the honest situation.
Best wishes. | |
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| how do you go about gentley telling someone their dog needs to be put down?
Posted: 9/5/2007 12:51:44 PM |
i've never personally had to put a pet down so I don't know how hard it really is to just let them go Trust me, it's rough, I mean really rough, but my thoughts are that you should stay out of it. I hate to see any animal suffering as well but we're not talking about abuse here. Would you also go and tell someone you knew that their parents should be put in a nursing home? I know that's hardly the same but what I'm saying is that it's none of your affair. You can feel for the animal all you want and hopefully their vet still sees the dog and he/she might carry more weight with such a recommendation. | |
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| how do you go about gentley telling someone their dog needs to be put down?
Posted: 9/5/2007 1:46:02 PM | Slip the poor old bugger some pooison in its food and do everyone a favour. Then again...that might be a bit "out there" for many.
If people want to keep their pets, then there is nothing wrong with it! would we do that kind of thing to grandma just because she is bedridden? Some people trreat their pets with the same dignity and sense of worth as they would a human. To tell the truth, I've seen some humans whom I'd rank below a miserable curs life.
It is a matter of choice.
For me, an animal IS an animal...they can't, never do, and will not change that fact for all the wishing in the world. Therefore, when it is time,then it is the humans' responsibility to put the animal down. | |
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| how do you go about gentley telling someone their dog needs to be put down?
Posted: 9/5/2007 2:50:03 PM | to clarify some things, this dog belongs to a member of my family so it's not like I'm saying this to a complete stranger.
The dog is obviously in pain because he shudders when you touch him, no matter where you touch him, and I know for a fact that he's never been beaten before so that's not why he shudders. He hasn't been to the vet in 4 years because they can't get him into a vehicle, meaning all his tumors/lumps and bumps, have never been checked, he hasn't had any vaccinations in 4 years and he doesn't have any muscle left in his back end. (when you touch his legs all you feel are tendons and bones, and the odd fatty spot)
These same people always have said that if it comes to the point where they themselves lose control of their bowels and lose their mobility they'd like to be "put down" so to speak, so why is it so hard for them to do this for their dog. he is quite obviously uncomfortable and he barks and cries all day and all night, he even walks towards moving vehicles, he will even change his path just to get closer to them, especially when they are backing up. He burries himself in holes he digs in the yard, I mean, he actually covers himself in dirt and sleeps with his head under a dog house that is now only held up by 3 cement footings because he dug all the dirt out from under one of them.
I know you all say that I should just stay out of it, but I really don't think it's fair for this dog to carry on like this, it's up to the owners to make his life as comfortable as possible and they aren't doing that. he's not on any medications or pain killers so he's basically deterierating all on his own and they aren't doing anything to make him atleast comfortable while they let him pass on his own accord.
I have half a mind to call it animal cruelty because that's what it seems like... it's down right mean to make a dog suffer like that and it's not like he can just say "someone kill me now!" | |
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| how do you go about gentley telling someone their dog needs to be put down?
Posted: 9/5/2007 3:32:48 PM | That's cruel to watch him suffer. And, no, I don't think you should stay out of it, he needs someone to help him and not just standby and do nothing
I know a family who brought their cat home who was dying and waited too long to have him put down and he went off and died alone. Poor animal was skin and bones | |
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| how do you go about gentley telling someone their dog needs to be put down?
Posted: 9/5/2007 3:51:12 PM | it makes me sad to think that he's just going to die on his own all alone cause they wont let him in the house anymore because he has accidents all the time, and because he's a big dog they are big accidents. I also don't want him to get picked off by a cyote or a cougar or something because he has to sleep outside. It's heartbreaking to know that he's going to die like that. he is also just skin and bone right now and it's disturbing. His usual weight was aprox 95lbs and i'm guessing that he is aprox 65-70lbs now.
I just want what's best for the dog, I know how hard it is to have a pet die because both my cats and my hamster died on their own when I was younger because my dad refused to pay for vet bills, but i've never had to put a pet down.
I hope, for the dog's sake, that these people either come to their sense or that he dies on his own very soon. I've actually been tempted to take him to the vet without them knowing and get it done, but I don't want to get in trouble for that, eventhough they are my family I know that you can get in trouble for stealing a dog and "killing" it. | |
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| how do you go about gentley telling someone their dog needs to be put down?
Posted: 9/5/2007 3:52:26 PM | | Paws is there a large animal vet that can come out to the house and give him a checkup as they do "house calls" or perhaps they can recommend a small animal vet that will. Usually a rural vet will come out and do a call. Perhaps if you were to speak to one they may make an exception in this case and be able to counsel the owners. I disagee with the poster that said it isnt abuse. I see it as abuse, if the dog is sick and is losing weight, cannot control their bowel/bladder and is covered in tumours that have not been identified as non threatening this is animal cruelty. I wish you well. If you cannot find a vet then I would call Animal Cruelty anonymously and they will come out. I dont think they have to disclose who made the complaint. Good Luck to you and the poor dog! | |
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| how do you go about gentley telling someone their dog needs to be put down?
Posted: 9/5/2007 3:54:19 PM |
this dog belongs to a member of my family so it's not like I'm saying this to a complete stranger. I will admit that you're latest statement has more than swayed my opinion. I'd be giving it with both barrels to any family member of mine that didn't act in this dog's best interest. I have no reason to doubt the terrible condition he is in, worse than first described, and yes, I feel that would warrant a call about animal cruelty if the owners don't do the humane thing immediately!
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| how do you go about gentley telling someone their dog needs to be put down?
Posted: 9/5/2007 4:46:49 PM | | If they are not treating him for his ailments, then it is actually animal neglect, and can be punishable by law. If they were doing everything in their power to treat his ailment, and taking him for regular vet check-ups, then it would be different, and I'd say that you would be out of line to interfere. However, since they are doing nothing about his health, and he's suffering, then I would say that you should lace into them. If you really wanted to, you could likely tip off the local SPCA as to what's happening, and they could go in, and seize the animal for neglect. The dog would be put down, and they'd have no say in it, but it could bring about legal ramifications for them, so you may not want to do that. Tell them that what they are doing, is inhumane, and absolutely horrible. Ask them how they'd feel, if they were terminally ill, and suffering immense amounts of pain, and their family refused to take them to a hospital, get medication, and opted to let them die a slow painful death, as the disease took over their body. Ask how they'd feel if their family just locked them in a basement room, when they could have lived out the remaining painful days in relative ease at the hospital, thanks to morphine drips, and other painkillers. When they tell you that they'd hate it, and that it's a sick thing to say and think about, tell them that it's exactly what they're doing to their dog. I think they'll get the hint real quick. Some people, just don't get it when you sugarcoat sh*t. | |
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| how do you go about gentley telling someone their dog needs to be put down?
Posted: 9/5/2007 4:52:05 PM | Personally, I say it's none of your business concerning euthanizing. I had a dog that got paralyzed and yes I used diapers on her. I got her as a pet and she was my buddy, you don't abandon them when they become ill and DECIDE they don't deserve to live. Their body will give in if it likes, otherwise you overlook their disability and move on. I don't see keeping a disabled pet alive as greed, it's compassion to continue being their pal. I would hate to be your grandmother if that's how you approach ppl too, that others should decide when their quality of life is not good enough to justify living.
Report them for abuse if that's how it's going down but don't turn yourself into decision maker for the world of "what's best". Especially don't steal the dog and kill it since that ran thru your mind...geez what are you 7, it's not your dog, keep your hands off it. If you are too cowardly to report them then stop complaining and you don't care about the dog half as much as you claim. I find it fishy that they didn't turn into abusive ppl until you didn't get the response that you should intervene. | |
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| how do you go about gentley telling someone their dog needs to be put down?
Posted: 9/5/2007 5:32:29 PM | Paws. You haven't said how old this dog is. There are a lot of circumstances that factor in here. The dog absolutely needs to see a veterinarian to diagnose exactly what his issues are. You 'dbe surprised at how awful an animal can appear when in reality they need only minor medical attention to fix them up. I worked for a vet and have had my own pets and I've seen some amazing things as many people have.
You really have to try to get them to see there may be other options than euthanasia. This dog may need only medication to repair joint tissues to enable him to walk much better. Tumors can be ugly and scarey looking, but they can be removed. Even on older animals. They are not always signs of fatal illness. If he has cancer and receives no medical attention he's gong to die painfully and euthanasia would be more humane. Some people prefer to allow animals to die naturally regardless of what the animal may be going through. But you would do better if you help them to think a little more positive right now.
I'd suggest urging them to get him to a vet asap BECAUSE there may very well be relatively simple remedies for his ailments. Tell them you learned of some new information and there may be no need to euthanize him. Leave the option of euthanasia out of the conversation to entice them to make a doctor visit. That seems to be what's turning them off at this point. They can't handle that as an option at this time. But once people get to the office, somehow they often see things more clearly. Once you can get them to take him, or allow you to take him, the doctor will be better equipped to deal with the situation at that point.
Good luck.
PS... if all else fails and this dog lingers in progressive pain, call a vet yourself and ask for guidance from him/her. And then take that advice. | |
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| how do you go about gentley telling someone their dog needs to be put down?
Posted: 9/5/2007 6:37:22 PM |
I had a dog that got paralyzed and yes I used diapers on her. I got her as a pet and she was my buddy, you don't abandon them when they become ill and DECIDE they don't deserve to live. You're to be commended for your loving care but what I'm hearing here can in no way be considered loving care. Yes, I changed my thinking after learning more details, family, physical condition, no vet trips, etc. What is happening to that dog is, plain and simple, animal abuse. So, because its owners don't care about its well being he should suffer such a fate?
If you've seen or read any of the things I've said concerning dogs and their owners in other threads you'd know how I feel about them. I'm in no way saying you're wrong with your thinking but, it's not your thinking that is seeing to this dogs needs. I honestly wish it was because I hate hearing about this kind of thing. No one's saying "let's go kill the dog", but let us do the humane thing.
I have a very personal story about the best friend/dog I ever had and it shall remain personal. But I vowed to never again be greeted by such a horrid sight when I knew deep down inside that it was her time. At least that way I could have been with her, that would have helped ease my pain as well.
OP, please do contact the proper channels and thank you for caring. | |
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| how do you go about gentley telling someone their dog needs to be put down?
Posted: 9/5/2007 7:30:29 PM | Take the dog to the vet then. Tell them you'll use YOUR car and drive the dog there and see what the vet has to say about the dog's condition.
I understand you want to help them, so taking the dog to the vet and at least having the vet lay it out for them would be your best option. At least the vet can say "The dog will not get better, we can make him comfortable but he is not going to recover from this." Maybe they would listen to that.
Again it is not YOUR decision to make. It's is THEIR decision, and a decision THEY will have to live with. Even if they aren't thinking clearly, or thinking of the animal they have to live with whatever they decide. It's their decision. | |
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| how do you go about gentley telling someone their dog needs to be put down?
Posted: 9/5/2007 7:47:14 PM | This is horrible. I do not mean to talk badly about your relatives, but this is plain and simple cruelty. The part about keeping this poor dog outside, because he messes too much. The poor thing is out of sight and out of mind the majority of the day. They go out feed him, fill his water bowl and then walk away and leave him alone with his pain. It fills my eyes with tears to think of this poor dog.
Dealing with having to euthanize our pets, is not an easy thing. Making the decision to do it, is also the hardest part of sharing your life with a pet. But if you love that animal you do it, if they are suffering. I agree with another poster that a vet has to see this poor dog. Try talking to them one more time, explain the seriousness of the situation, and maybe let them know if they do not take action you will. It is heart breaking.
Maybe you can talk to the local vet and tell him/her the situation at the home. Let them know the condition of the poor dog. If that vet has any compassion for animals, which we would hope they do, they will either go check out the poor dog, or send someone to do it.
Something has to be done, so this poor boy does not continue to suffer, all alone.
It is not over stepping if you know and love this dog, and he needs you to step in. | |
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| how do you go about gentley telling someone their dog needs to be put down?
Posted: 9/5/2007 10:26:13 PM |
I had a dog that got paralyzed and yes I used diapers on her. I got her as a pet and she was my buddy, you don't abandon them when they become ill and DECIDE they don't deserve to live. If paralysis is the only problem you have with your pet, and you are prepared to deal with things like messes and physical therapy and all that, then by all means keep your pet alive. Heck I'd do it for my cats. But sometimes animals just get too sick and are in too much pain. When I put my cat down because her kidneys had failed I knew it was the best choice for her. She wouldn't eat so we were force feeding her, but she struggled so hard that she was burning more calories than she was taking in as she'd spit out most of the food. She would drink a ton of water then miss the litterbox and would act ashamed and disgusted with herself because she made a mess. She didn't groom herself anymore because she didn't have the energy (and she was always a very prissy, fussy cat about that, which is why she was so ashamed of the accidents). Our only options were to cut a hole in her throat and feed her that way and give her mega drugs. The surgery would have costed $2000 minimum, probably more, and only had about a 30% chance of helping her. After having spent about $1500 on her for check ups and tests and stays in the hospital and what not I couldn't afford that. Plus would you really want someone to cut a hole in your throat and stuff a tube in there so you would have a 30% chance of living? Or we could put her on dialysis for the rest of her life, which I definitly could not afford. So that left us with her slowly dying in pain, most likely from being poisoned due to the kidneys not working or by starvation, or putting her down. We chose to put her down.
It sounds like this poor dog is suffering a great deal. And as awful as it is to lose a beloved pet, sometimes the best thing to do for a dying pet who is in a great deal of pain, is to put it down.
Short of sitting down and getting tough with this family I have no suggestions. It is possible, but not probable, that they are closing their eyes to their dog's suffering. Maybe if you explain your reasons behind why you think the dog should get put down they might see it. Or at the very least try to convince them to take the dog to a vet or get the vet to come to them if they refuse to put the dog down. Maybe the vet can do something or explain to them what's going on and how much the dog is suffering. Maybe if they hear it from the vet it would help.... | |
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| how do you go about gentley telling someone their dog needs to be put down?
Posted: 9/5/2007 10:50:49 PM |
After having spent about $1500 on her for check ups and tests and stays in the hospital and what not I couldn't afford that. Plus would you really want someone to cut a hole in your throat and stuff a tube in there so you would have a 30% chance of living? Or we could put her on dialysis for the rest of her life, which I definitly could not afford. So that left us with her slowly dying in pain, most likely from being poisoned due to the kidneys not working or by starvation, or putting her down. We chose to put her down.
That is really admirable... money aside really, what kind of life is it feeling gross a not wanting to eat and having food crammed down your throat even though your body is telling you you don't want it? I always look at it as quality of life. It's so hard for people to make the decision you did, I give you mad props for it. | |
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| how do you go about gentley telling someone their dog needs to be put down?
Posted: 9/5/2007 11:10:48 PM | As a pet owner, we are responsible for their well being. It hurts to think of that poor dog suffering like he is. I hope you can talk to them again and get them to do the right thing. Our animals worship us, and give us undying love. All they ask is that we look after them, and as difficult as it is, to do the right thing when the time comes, and it sounds like it has.
Putting my German Shepard down was literally the worst day of my life, but again, we have to do what is best, out of love for our beloved furry friends. | |
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| how do you go about gentley telling someone their dog needs to be put down?
Posted: 9/6/2007 7:37:50 AM | I'll tell you a little story about a dog in my neighborhood that was really sick too.
A neighbor called Animal Control and explained that the dog next door is really sick, walks into walls and trees (when outside) is pretty much blind and has a tumour that's leaking out it's belly. Animal Control came along when the husband was at work (he wouldn't let the wife put the dog down), they took the dog citing "animal cruelty" and they put it down. I do believe that the wife had to pay for the procedure - but all it took was a call to them to have the dog investigated. Call your local SPCA.
Be strong and know that you're doing the right thing for the dog in question. | |
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| how do you go about gentley telling someone their dog needs to be put down?
Posted: 9/6/2007 8:26:59 AM | I work for animal control and have worked in a vet office.
What that owner is doing is not just cruelty it is criminal neglect. The dog obviously has cancer, and it is slowly killing the dog.
To any one who thinks it is none of her affair, Let me ask you this, Would you turn a blind eye, if you knew that a child was sick, hurt, and being neglected by so called loving parents?
Pet owners are legally required to provide medical care for there pets, not to mention licensing laws their breaking , along with the rabies, parvo, distemper vaccinations needed each year.
It sounds to me that, since it is left out side to sleep, has had no medical care, shots, or anything , that they don't LOVE the dog and want to keep it around, their just to cheap and stingy to do anything to hep the pour thing.
You need to call your local animal control, and report the abuse, and they will do the caring thing. the owners may be brought up in charges,and have to pay a fine, YOU need to be ok with that.
Cruelty, and neglect is evil, it is EVERY BODYS BUSINESS.
All evil needs to flourish is for good people to do NOTHING.
I don't know how important your relations to your neighbor is, if keeping friends with them means more to you than helping that dog out of this life of pain, then do nothing.
It will die, the question is will you let it die in agony and pain or will you help ease it peace fully? I personally have euthenised many hundreds of dogs, and cats, I'm a huge animal lover, but when their quality of life diminishes that much it is time to do the loving thing . | |
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| how do you go about gentley telling someone their dog needs to be put down?
Posted: 9/6/2007 8:38:56 AM | Paws,
I have not been able to get your story out of my mind since reading it yesterday.
Please talk to your relatives, and let us know how it plays out.
I keep imagining the poor dog in the yard all alone, dying a painful death.
He needs someone to hold him and be with him, while he is humanely relieved of his suffering. If your family wont be with him, I have a very strong feeling, you will step in to be his comfort, when he gently leaves this earth. No pet should be alone when they take their final breath, when at all possible to avoid that.
I sure hope this is resolved before the poor thing has to go through anymore suffering. | |
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