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 MomentsAgo
Joined: 8/23/2007
Msg: 1
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is there a way to change the fwb vibe?Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
Once you have established a fwb with a gentleman, is there a way to change that status without having to let go of him entirely? Lets all be real, someone always seems to have feelings at some point. Does that mean it's time to call it quits?
 ~JustSimplyMe~
Joined: 8/18/2006
Msg: 2
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is there a way to change the fwb vibe?
Posted: 9/6/2007 9:17:43 PM

Does that mean it's time to call it quits?

Generally I do believe thats what it means yep.
 rejectingall
Joined: 1/24/2007
Msg: 3
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is there a way to change the fwb vibe?
Posted: 9/6/2007 9:23:10 PM
It means its time to grow up and learn responsibility.
 Master irisheagle
Joined: 2/25/2007
Msg: 4
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is there a way to change the fwb vibe?
Posted: 9/6/2007 9:34:47 PM
is there a way to change that status without having to let go of him entirely?

Sure, quit coating his candle with new wax!! LOL

i get from your post that, he's having feelings and your not, is that right?
if that's the case, then yea it's time to call it quits.

i have a couple ladies that were FWB for a short period
but now we're just friends cause i found the one i want to be with.
So it is possible, but not everyone is the same.

Treat it with kid gloves, If you do cut it off.
He may need your reassuance that it's not the
Sex that is the issue but the feelings you see growing
and don't want. he may deny it just to keep from losing
you, but don't fall for it. it will be a manipulation tactic
to keep you. Woman tend to see the emotional involvment
much sooner then the guy does, so i suspect you have already.

Good Luck in what ever you decide.

My 2 pence
 BradPalmBay
Joined: 12/22/2005
Msg: 5
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is there a way to change the fwb vibe?
Posted: 9/6/2007 9:39:40 PM
That all depends... on a lot of factors. You didn't give enough information about this particular situation to form any judgements, or suggest a course of action.

I'm always amazed at the number of folks who can take THREE LITTLE LETTERS and proceed to spin an entire NOVEL around them... all without any real information.

Methinks you will receive a LOT of knee-jerk reactions, and very little in the way of worthwhile analysis.
 Master irisheagle
Joined: 2/25/2007
Msg: 6
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is there a way to change the fwb vibe?
Posted: 9/6/2007 9:52:39 PM

I'm always amazed at the number of folks who can take
THREE LITTLE LETTERS and proceed to spin an entire NOVEL
around them... all without any real information.



it doesn't take a rocket scientist to see
What little she is trying to say either....
 HDPylot
Joined: 1/15/2007
Msg: 7
is there a way to change the fwb vibe?
Posted: 9/6/2007 9:58:02 PM
Ahhhh, the modern day of 3 letter acronyms for everything......

"fwb" = candycoating the antique term for "sportf***ing" ,,,,,,
Regardless what color you paint it if it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, well you know,,,,,,,,,
fwb itself portrays he is probably more gigolo than "gentleman" and participation in the situation itself dictates the moral character of other parties involved.


What would a continuing "friendship" be based on?
How good meaningless sex was?

"Live by the sword, die by the sword."
 Lixiette
Joined: 5/27/2007
Msg: 8
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is there a way to change the fwb vibe?
Posted: 9/6/2007 10:02:28 PM
Doesn't always mean that--if the feelings are mutual, why not.

But if it's just a one-way thing. Well. Anyone going into a ****buddy situation should already know the risks they're taking.
 *Carpe_diem*
Joined: 3/29/2007
Msg: 9
is there a way to change the fwb vibe?
Posted: 9/6/2007 10:03:50 PM

change that status
Change it to what? A real relationship? Just friends with no benefits?
 MySpiritedSoul
Joined: 8/24/2007
Msg: 10
is there a way to change the fwb vibe?
Posted: 9/6/2007 10:10:22 PM
hdpylot so quick to judge someone based on what you consider acceptable. Not everyone out there saves themselves for marriage and that doesn't mean they are sleeping with everyone either.

Point and fact

My 'ex' and I were friends for six years and than discussed and agreed to a FWB arrangement. When one of us felt feelings that the other wasn't ready for we took a break. From there we moved in together and had a 12 year relationship. Don't knock FWB so quickly because even now that our relationship has broken down we are still civil to one another, raise our child as a partnership and are working on becoming friends again.

To the OP open and honest communication is the best answer to most situations IMHO if all parties are informed than they can make an informed decision.
 ladyjane701
Joined: 8/27/2007
Msg: 11
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is there a way to change the fwb vibe?
Posted: 9/7/2007 12:08:09 AM
FWB or what ever you want to call it... NEVER WORKS, trust me. Take off the rose colored glasses and really look at it. Its a hard decision to make but let it go. Try and be friends if you want but more than likely it won't happen. If all you are to him is sex then he wasn't worth even trying to be with in the long run. Or vise versa. JMO
 Yuki-Ona
Joined: 8/26/2007
Msg: 12
is there a way to change the fwb vibe?
Posted: 9/7/2007 1:54:23 AM
I've been where you are and have to admit it's hard. Once you go from friends to lovers it's hard for feelings not to deepen for you both. That's inevitable. The real test is when the sex stops how deep is your friendship and can it survive? It's tough, very tough and it can challenge the deepest and closest friendship but it can be done.

As mine said to me once, relationships end but true friends always remain.
 Irreverent Lass
Joined: 7/24/2007
Msg: 13
is there a way to change the fwb vibe?
Posted: 9/7/2007 2:00:52 AM

Lets all be real, someone always seems to have feelings at some point. Does that mean it's time to call it quits?


Bingo.

One or the other will fall "in love" and be farked.

Advice = Do not go there.
 cupatea2010
Joined: 7/30/2007
Msg: 14
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is there a way to change the fwb vibe?
Posted: 9/7/2007 2:54:57 AM
He "aint' no gentlemen...fwb guys are just that....having all the benefits without any responsibilites. Yes, let's all be real...he is going on a free ride and your the ticket holder.
 Mary12465
Joined: 1/5/2007
Msg: 15
is there a way to change the fwb vibe?
Posted: 9/7/2007 6:32:55 AM
Moments ago,

You need to decide if it's worth continuing..and if it is great, if not bow out gracefully. I am seeing someone and I like to call it FWB, but it wasn't like that intially. We met, dated...I fell in love, but pushed him away, because I wasn't ready or prepared for a serious relationship. We parted ways, and than a yr after we split we began seeing each other. I thought he came back because he still loved me, but he came back because he missed the sex, and maybe he missed me too.

Long story short, things were not exactly as I had hoped they'd be, but I decided that my life was too complicated to date in the conventional sense, so I ( we) opted for a FWB type relationship. He and I do care a a lot about each other, he does help me out a lot and does a lot of things for me that a typical friend would do, but the only difference is we have sex. And yes, you are correct in that feelings, on both sides, can change, but you need to tell the person how you are feeling and go from there.

I accepted our arrangement and have had no problems with it, but lately he's been acting more like a boyfriend than just a sex buddy. I've kept it clear that I like things as they are and I do not desire to change it. So long as both people have a mutual understanding and you're both on the same page it can work, but if one is more emotionally involved than the other, it's best to end things. Some times the rules of engagement for one partner change and you can either change with him or her, or not.

Additionally, just because you are in a FWB situation doesn't mean the man is a player or the woman is easy, it's just a different type of relationship. While it is certainly not an option for some people, it certainly does work for others.
 Hedda Lettuce
Joined: 7/30/2006
Msg: 16
is there a way to change the fwb vibe?
Posted: 9/7/2007 7:25:49 AM
"Once you have established a fwb with a gentleman, is there a way to change that status without having to let go of him entirely? "

What's the difference?
You're using him, he's using you. What are you trying to change?

If he is starting to feel attracted towards you and all you want to do is screw, then it would be in HIS best favor for you to end the relationship.
 irishmage
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 17
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is there a way to change the fwb vibe?
Posted: 9/7/2007 7:46:33 AM

Once you have established a fwb with a gentleman, is there a way to change that status without having to let go of him entirely? Lets all be real, someone always seems to have feelings at some point. Does that mean it's time to call it quits?


Depends on how far you have let it go. I have 2 people i had a FWB relationship. Both ended becoming close friends, one of whom I chat w/every day. They are important to me as friends and wouldn't change it for the world. We simply took a look at what we had agreed the spark wasn't there and once the bennies part was gone we moved on as friends.

HDPylot

"fwb" = candycoating the antique term for "sportf***ing" ,,,,,,
Regardless what color you paint it if it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, well you know,,,,,,,,,
fwb itself portrays he is probably more gigolo than "gentleman" and participation in the situation itself dictates the moral character of other parties involved.


That is a rather cruel as well as callous way of looking at it.How does it portray more of a gigolo than gentleman if I may ask? In short it doesn't. Takes 2 to tango and if both parties went into it with both eyes open, they knew the risks and accepted them.And how do you know the sex was meaningless? In short you don't. You have no criteria to base it on from the little bit we have been given here so please do not judge based on that. The continuing friendship woul/could/can be based on good times they have had together, similar interests etc.

My2cntsin


He "aint' no gentlemen...fwb guys are just that....having all the benefits without any responsibilites. Yes, let's all be real...he is going on a free ride and your the ticket holder.


Bull. A person can be a FWB and still be a gentleman. As I stated above it takes 2 to tango. You do not know the people involved so do not be so quick to judge. And in such a relationship the benefits as well as the responsibilities are shared, not shouldered just by one.There is no such thing as a free ride .

My .02 pence
 SassySky
Joined: 7/28/2007
Msg: 18
is there a way to change the fwb vibe?
Posted: 9/7/2007 8:11:33 AM
You know I have read so many of these FWB threads. I am not judging anyone, I just can't figure out how they work in the long run. I mean some one is eventually gonna get hurt.
 pentree69
Joined: 7/11/2007
Msg: 19
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is there a way to change the fwb vibe?
Posted: 9/7/2007 8:39:56 AM

I am not judging anyone, I just can't figure out how they work in the long run. I mean some one is eventually gonna get hurt.


FWB isnt meant to be longterm,....and when it does happen,...then someone gets hurt.
When i was single i had a few FWB's,...one worked out great,...one didnt,...it depends on the people and how they handle it.
FWB's is really close to a summer fling,...when summer is over ,..you either stay together,..or go your seperate ways.


Take care You
 *DisneyMom*
Joined: 5/15/2007
Msg: 20
is there a way to change the fwb vibe?
Posted: 9/7/2007 8:43:16 AM

Does that mean it's time to call it quits?

Yup.
Happend to me. We called it quits and then soon after I met my now ex husband.
 zentral
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 21
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is there a way to change the fwb vibe?
Posted: 9/7/2007 8:47:18 AM
It's not necessarily true that someone will get hurt. It is entirely possible to simply end it amicably when it is no longer working. Of course sometimes someone will get hurt.

Besides, even if this were not a FWB situation but a dating situation, someone is likely to get hurt at some point. Even in a marriage, someone can decide to end it and someone gets hurt. This is no different, so why the distinction?
 victoriangirl
Joined: 6/21/2007
Msg: 22
is there a way to change the fwb vibe?
Posted: 9/7/2007 2:34:42 PM
[Woman tend to see the emotional involvment much sooner then the guy does, so i suspect you have already.]

Really? I have always believed that men tend to notice a woman's involvement before a woman can figure out where he's at.

In this case, is it the OP or the other party who is developing feelings, and if it's the other party, are you sure? How do you know?
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 23
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is there a way to change the fwb vibe?
Posted: 9/7/2007 2:38:57 PM
FWB is easy for a man, but without fail most of the women are in it with the hopes that one day her status as a booty call will change. Once you establish these ground rules you are pretty much out of luck.
Stop seeing him all together, tell him exactly why and at least try to move on. If he does have ANY real feelings for you he will try and re-establish contact but hopefully on your new terms only.
 BladingFool
Joined: 6/21/2007
Msg: 24
is there a way to change the fwb vibe?
Posted: 9/7/2007 3:17:42 PM
Nope. If this guy wants to continue as FWB and wants no more then you walk away. I know us women don't seem to have the detachment that men seem to have. I never been in that situation where feelings didn't eventually come up. That is the down side to that situation.
I personally have had to do that, walk away. That is why I have steered away from that in recent times.
 scorpiomover
Joined: 4/19/2007
Msg: 25
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is there a way to change the fwb vibe?
Posted: 9/7/2007 5:15:15 PM
There is a way to change the FWB vibe. Move on, date someone new and stop doing the FWB thing.
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