| What women want to reply back?[CLOSED - Redundant Done to death]
Posted: 9/12/2007 11:25:03 PM | I don't even remember when I started using this site. Maybe about 2 months ago, maybe longer. Anyways, just like most guys ( I'm assuming) I read through the profile of the person I would like to befriend. It usually say easy going, looking to meet people because I'm new, want nice guy, etc. Well I may not be the ideal person they want, but I am sure I come close to the person they would like to meet (they did put want to hang out or look for friend and it's usually seem pretty open to whoever ^-^ ) I send a email to them. Long, short, medium length, I tried them all. I just usually give them a friendly hello and tell them a bit about me. Now I just stick with hello and talk about little things relating to them. So far all I got is 2 replies back, a lot of read emails and a crap load of read delete. It is coming to the point where I check if I had previously sent them an email before I look at her profile :p
So what does it talk to have them reply back? Cause the stuff in the profile...it doesn't work (><) Any advice? Also please don't tell me to change anything in my profile because I don't get ANY views from anyone unless I am send them an email.
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Thread Closed - Redundant
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| What women want to reply back?
Posted: 9/13/2007 4:04:10 AM | | Hmmm, I think your kinda cute, and straighforward, and I'm not even picking up on any negatives in your opening remarks or even attitude. It sounds like you've tried everything I can think of too. btw, I did view your profile but you wouldn't know it because I have that feature turned off. So, only thing I could suggest is to list a few interests in your profile, I didn't say change, I said add to your profile. That way these young ladies can get a glimpse of more of who you are than what you've written in the email and might be inclined to at least respond and get a dialogue going. | |
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| What women want to reply back?
Posted: 9/13/2007 4:11:42 AM | Whatever you do, DO NOT send out a bunch of generic ''canned'' emails to a bunch of different women....we can spot them a mile away. They say something like ''i found your profile interesting'' or ''you are very attractive'' then go on and on about the sender and what he's all about, it NEVER mentions anything else about the receiver and what they found so interesting.
For me it means they did not take anytime at all to read the profile. I've gotten several of these this week. One guy wrote to tell me "we have a lot in common" and never said what it was we had in common....so I said really? do you bellydance? do you have a boyfriend too? obvious he did not write back. | |
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| What women want to reply back?
Posted: 9/13/2007 4:14:38 AM | Maybe the women you are writing to are not looking for hang out as you are . That would be something that would make me not interested in a guy if he had hang out on his profile. Also talking about how good you are in bed can be seen as arrogant and full of yourself. To women who consider that stuff private and not to be put on a profile it may also be turning them away.
This topic always comes up. Why don't women reply back. If you want the answers to that then do a thread search because i don't feel like writing all that down again. | |
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| What women want to reply back?
Posted: 9/13/2007 4:20:31 AM | Change your profile picture to one clearer and less boyish. You are quite handsome, but your profile picture was so vague, I wondered if it was a child's picture! No offense, it's just very dark.
Anyway, it is common not to get replies. Not everyone visits the site often or is really interested in "friendship" like they say they are.
Do a thread search, this subject has been done before by *many many many* guys.
Best wishes, give it time ~ | |
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| What women want to reply back?
Posted: 9/13/2007 4:30:17 AM | I took a look at your profile and i think that if you wrote to me I would talk to you...but i do have a few suggestions... I think that firstly you need to be a little more positive in your profile...a little less "I'm not Mr. Right"... perhaps you could try adding some of your interests, what you are looking for etc. And not that I am telling you to change your profile but, stating that you do not want children might not appeal to some women, perhaps saying you are undecided might be better since you are young and may change your mind.
I hope this helps you out....and keep trying. | |
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| What women want to reply back?
Posted: 9/13/2007 3:07:21 PM | | I hope the advice on here is helpful, but to some extent or another your experience is very common and I've experienced the same thing on here and even wrote threads about it before as well as others. If this is like a 4 guy: 1 girl ratio or worst on here, then because women get too many emails, they usually just can deal with a few people and their standards are just ridicolously more picky while they delete most other people who may even potentially be good matches. My guess is you are average to just below average looking and unless you are very attractive and/or have some real appealing type of profile then that's the response that most guys seem to have. | |
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| What women want to reply back?
Posted: 9/13/2007 3:12:52 PM | I agree 100% with A Cool Guy.
What guys need to understand is NOT to take this site serious. And DONT rely on a site like this to meet someone.
Leave your profile up, write a few e-mails now and then, but continue to live your life and try to meet people the old fashioned way.
Just my opinion... | |
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| What women want to reply back?
Posted: 9/13/2007 4:42:34 PM | | I think you like a nice young man BUT just my take,... may not be an issue but then again may be as I have spent a lot of time in forums and folks have a HUGE issue with honesty in profiles, ie: say one thing / mean another,.. SO that said this is what I got from your profile,.... You put: non smoker.... then you put occupation: fresh air inspector ( apprentice). Um... are you aware that that is a euphemism for smoker???? Just a thing that made me go hmmmm? | |
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| What women want to reply back?
Posted: 9/13/2007 7:16:25 PM | | Stupendous Man, and Cool Guy, give some very good advice. Ive found through my own experience of trial and error is just post the minimal of information in your profile, women do love a bit of mystery, and like the ladies said do your research and write personal messages in a personal fashion. Good Luck to ya, and remember this place is just for fun. | |
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| What women want to reply back?
Posted: 9/13/2007 8:03:34 PM | I know exactly what you're talking about. I've written plenty of e-mails...long, short, medium length and don't get replies. I always write the e-mail to the woman I want to talk to and refer back to her profile and what she'd written. They're not copy/paste jobs. But I rarely (if ever) get a reply and I'm sure you find it just as frustrating as I do. And I agree with Stupendous Man and Cool Guy completely...good advice.
Maybe it's just me but I have a strong feeling that a high number of the women are on this site purely for an ego boost. Just to see how many e-mails they can get from guys and how many favourites lists they can get added to with little or no intent on writing anybody back. Maybe that's not the case but it's food for thought... | |
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| What women want to reply back?
Posted: 9/13/2007 10:07:51 PM | I would like to thank everyone for their replies and helpful advice, I will take everything you guys said and try to make my profile better. I'm too lazy to quote everyone, so I'm just do it this way...
Winebuddy: I use to have this super long profile, interest and everything included. I took it away thinking it might give them something to ask me. I also do tell them things I do, gym, martial arts training. If we have something in common, I bring that up also.
amelodyforadrian: Every email I wrote is different except how I start it out. I always start it out with a hello, nice to meet you. It's a polite way to start it...I use to live in Japan also, so that greeting kinda came back with me :p Also I never say things like, hey baby, you're hot, but maybe it works since I am not getting anything XD The emails I type to them are all different. It's coming to a point where I don't know what to say anymore because nothing worked before.
dreamer452: I check what they are looking for and I point that out. If they want to date or looking for long term, I ask them if it's ok if we just hang out or be friends (it sounds cheesy but I really do at times!) The bed thing isn't really about sex. It's saying I'm good in bed because I can sleep 12 hours day while some people have trouble :p It's a joke ^-^ Also I don't sleep around. Never had a girlfriend before O_O
aspiring_angel: I have a few other pictures. I don't like pictures, so I general suck at them. I don't know how to pose in them. Also about looking childish...I'm Asian, I can't look any older (;_;) I am coming to the conclusion that they are not really looking for what they advertise. She's a phony!
eunikegurl: Thanks for saying that you'll email me back if I emailed you (*^-^*) I put I'm not Mr.Right because I feel most relationship never is perfect. People will get into arguments, fights and that's what I think what makes the relationship stronger, but I really don' t know much about relationships. But I'll take it out (^^)v I'll change the kids thing too.
A_Cool_Guy: You also think the girls are super picky too!? I got that feeling also, but everyone else seems to be doing good. I have a friend that is using this too. Mr.antisocial, gaming/computer nerd, tall, lanky and average looking guy. But he gets emails from girls and more views too! I hope this isn't about ethnic....what would be an appealing profile. I'm like, not into men, so going through guys profile isn't going to give me an idea. Great advice though (^-^)b
Stupendous Man: I 100% agree with a_cool_guy also. It kinda sucks to here that, but the man speaks of the truth! I know it's silly to rely on a site like this to meet friends..It's just I had good experience before and also I don't have very much opportunity to meet people. I work, then going training and to the gym after work. I also moved to this city like last year. I don't go to school and people I train and work with are all older then me.
heardbutnotseen: I said I'm a fresh air inspector because I use to tell Japanese people that was my previous occupation in Canada. They would be like ooooooo awwweee and the foreigner in the corner would be laughing because it's not a real job. Just a joke. I'll change it though ^-^
eliphas0: I hope the trial and error didn't take too long. I think it's been like 3 months and nothing from here.....oh well. I will remember it's just for fun (^.^)v
McGwire: Yeah, I do the same thing as you! Each email is different for each girl. I stay away from long emails since I feel I am wasting time and effort just for an read delete. I will take in consideration that they are doing this to boost her ego.
Once again, thanks for everyones advice. These post are words of encouragement for me to not take this place seriously and try to have fun. I was just kinda down since I use to use sites like this and results were great. Made some very good friends! Then again, that was in a different country (><) | |
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| What women want to reply back?
Posted: 9/13/2007 10:40:41 PM | I have been testing another site and found the same things as the other guys. I just joined this one for fun and think of it as play testing. Women say that we are shallow and care only for looks LOL. I find that if I talk about the same things to women in bars as I do on the internet I have much better luck. The only difference is at the bar the women can see me. So do they truly look inside? Hm still testing that one and in fact this site is the only place I have ever put any kind of photo(just a gimp one) up just to test. (I bet with some friends that looks matter more than they say.)
It would be interesting to see what happens for you if you go out and talk to some women and say the same things you would by email, If you do let me know  | |
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| What women want to reply back?
Posted: 9/14/2007 4:24:22 AM | Some of your photos are dark. And you don't smile either. Find more variety for your photos. Also express some more of your interests. It seems you are trying very hard to be ''different'' and ''unique''....unfortunately i think the majority of women your age are more into the ''status quo''.
Don't give up, and try other sites if you must. I gave up trying to find anyone on this site. The guy i'm dating I met out in the ''real'' world. Now I stay here for the forums and to chat with friends I've made. | |
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| What women want to reply back?
Posted: 9/14/2007 8:59:43 AM | mvrodafone,
You've raised an interesting point about your other friend who seems to be doing well.
When you know someone who is doing well, clone their profile, use their same openers and see if you get the same results. Only then you'll know objectively if it's your pics.
At first, I thought my problem of getting a decent response on here was my pics, so I put up improved pics of myself professionally done on a nearby park and still got the same results (ended up getting a partial refund on the thing), so I dont even think improving pics has been helpful at all in my experience.
An appealing profile by defination is one that appeals to the reader. For example, if a woman reads your profile, it should elicit a good laugh (without bringing down yourself) and get the woman feeling romantic with possibilities with you and her, or that something is really different about your profile, call it an aura if you will.
Unfortunately, I cant tell you more than that because I am also having problems with my profile and the blind cant lead the blind. I know the concept of what could be wrong but not how to solve it and those who are successful on here aren't likely to divulge information given the high competiveness of this whole place but it seems to be some sort of 'feast or famine' type of place. I think most experiences are either like yours, or getting lots of emails with no middle ground, but I stand to be corrected. | |
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| What women want to reply back?
Posted: 9/14/2007 9:33:50 AM | | you might be trying to contact girls that belong to the P O F lifers club that joined just to have something to do in their spare time, they don't reply and don't want bothered or they are just here for the forums. and pics will not make a difference to those kind of girls, just stay active and you are bound to hit some real live girls that want a guy. | |
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| What women want to reply back?
Posted: 9/14/2007 9:37:32 AM | | I have been upfront and honest with everything I have said in my profile, when I send an e-mail to a woman I get a response usually but there are some exceptions for sure. I guess I am lucky, I know that I'm not handsome. All the women I have met on this site, and yes I have met a few, are wonderful. Just hang in there and be upfront and honest about yourself. It does take time, I have been with POF for 1 year and a half. | |
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dpd22
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Joined: 11/9/2006
Msg: 21 | |
| What women want to reply back?
Posted: 9/14/2007 9:51:11 AM | | A lot men don't get many responses. I think a man either has to be rich, a very charming profile or have GQ looks to get many responses. I think an okay looking man with a decent profile wouldn't get a lot of responses because he has a lot of competition for the women that he is emailing. Of course, there are some exceptions to the rule. | |
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| What women want to reply back?
Posted: 9/14/2007 11:18:42 AM |
So what does it talk to have them reply back?
Your credit card and bank account numbers, with a promise of an all-day shopping spree if they respond.
I know that would work for me.
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| What women want to reply back?
Posted: 9/21/2007 10:26:11 PM | | Write to them as though they are a friend already of yours... not ur best friend, but how u would speak to a workmate, schoolmate n' such... I am not the best looking guy, but get hundreds of responses.. more of them writing me first then I deserve as well :) There are a few who don't reply, but looking at their pics.. it's not because they get too much mail.... more likely fear being insufficent... PS. Spell correctly.. use a spell check program if necessary... even I delete chicks that misspell relatively easy words... looks like laziness to me.... op.. you mentioned laziness in your thank-you post... lose the laziness :) | |
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