| I am having a difficult time accepting my boyfriend emailing other women
Posted: 9/17/2007 12:46:31 PM | | My boyfriend of over one year still emails other women. This would not be so bad except for the fact that one woman he emails consistently is the same one he has previously exchanged sexually graphic emails with (although they have never gotten together) and also emailed her several "stories" about his prowness with several women and about me specifically. When confronted when I found out, he was very apologetic and said he emailed her about his sexual exploits to bolster his self-image and that he did not mean to hurt me. I told him that I could forgive but that to trust him again would take some time. My dilemma: He is still emailing this woman. He says she is his "friend." His emails are not as sexually charged as they were (hers still are as he has not told her to quit) though his emails are filled with telling her his inner most thoughts which I would think he should share with me, his girlfriend, instead. I am having a hard time accepting that he still emails her, especially since she is none the wiser that he told her all these lies about me and our relationship and his nonexistent exploits. I think he should either quit emailing her altogether or email her and tell her exactly what a liar he was, that none of what he said was true, and come clean. He has talked about my meeting this woman (she was a friend of his ex-wife) but I have no desire to meet her knowing that she has this preconceived idea of me since he has not told her the truth about HIS lies (like it will all just go away). Add to the mix, he spends a great amount of time perusing porn sites as well. Should I be worried? Am I being stupid? Thoughts please? | |
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| I am having a difficult time accepting my boyfriend emailing other women
Posted: 9/17/2007 1:11:30 PM | Hi OP,
It's completely cool that he has other lady friends. Evidently you are best friend and the one he has commited to. Now he needs to honor the commitment he made to you. That comes from a man who believes in friends with benefits but when you make a commitment then I strongly believe that you need to stand by it until the day you upfront and honestly end it.
If he is not being completely open and honest in his communications to you and his other lady friends then he is being a complete jerk that is trying to have a double standard in the relationship. If deep down he doesn't want a commitment then he should have the balls to tell you that!! You should be free to date male friends as well. NEVER allow any man to get away with a double standard and try to BS their way in having their cake and eat it too!!
Really... Why why why do so many of you women put up with this crap!!!???
Take care OP and best regards,
Marco | |
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| I am having a difficult time accepting my boyfriend emailing other women
Posted: 9/17/2007 1:20:21 PM | | OP: actions speak louder than any words. He can tell you what you want to hear. BUT he is SHOWING you what he wants to do with continued email contact to her. ASK him if he would like if you did this with a guy that you knew. IF he doesn't care or says he wouldn't mind,then you need to realize what you will be putting up with if you stay.IF you are unhappy, it's time to let him go . Life is too short. | |
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| I am having a difficult time accepting my boyfriend emailing other women
Posted: 9/17/2007 1:24:13 PM | SEE What your PROBLEM her is the BOYfriend what you need to get is a MAN FRIEND who will appreciate a caring woman such as yourself.
This guy has a self esteem problem, and does not appreciate having someone care for him as you do.
And you need to take a long look at yourself and what you want, it is obvious this is not it. Move on there are plenty of fish here.  | |
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| I am having a difficult time accepting my boyfriend emailing other women
Posted: 9/17/2007 1:26:18 PM | He chooses to do something that he doesn't need to do that he knows makes you feel bad. So your heart and feelings are not a priority for him. His priority is self-gratification. Decide whether that's what you want to continue enabling him to be like or not.
Personally, if I were you, I would advise him to pursue his relationship with the other woman and I'd not want to continue in any kind of relationship with him myself. Apologies are just words, words are only a small part of the truth, the deeper truth is in the whole picture of his behaviour which shows that he thinks he can just fob you off and keep you quiet with such words whilst behaving without concern for how you actually feel. | |
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| I am having a difficult time accepting my boyfriend emailing other women
Posted: 9/17/2007 1:37:51 PM | OP I am a little confused here. I checked your profile to see how young you are and it says you are a 56 year old man looking for a long term relationship with a woman.
It would appear that your boyfriend is not the only one who is deceitful here.
If, in fact, your post is a true senerio, then I am surprised you even have to ask the forum if you should be worried. It is obvious lol | |
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vhdc
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Joined: 7/18/2006
Msg: 12 | |
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| I am having a difficult time accepting my boyfriend emailing other women
Posted: 9/17/2007 1:56:57 PM | This is direct from your profile OP... so who you trying to fool here? US or YOURSELF? Was this simply an 'experiment' on your part to see who/what the responders/responses would be like?
sameme55 : Lookin' in all the Places
City Bothell Washington
Area United States
Ethnicity Caucasian
Sign Libra
Height 6' 1" (185 cm)
Age 56
Gender Man
Body Type A Few Extra Pounds
Religion Christian - other
Hair Color Mixed Color
Rate My Picture No
Compatibility N/A | Needs Assessment: N/A
I am Seeking a Woman Who is Looking for Long term | |
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| I am having a difficult time accepting my boyfriend emailing other women
Posted: 9/17/2007 2:00:18 PM | | I am actually on his site which is why it comes up as 56 year old male. Just another site that I have uncovered in his life. I myself am not signed up to any sites and wanted some advice. I'm sorry if it appears that I too am being deceitful. That is not the case. I am just not signed in to any. Again, my apologies for any confusion. | |
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daisie
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Joined: 9/22/2004
Msg: 17 | |
| I am having a difficult time accepting my boyfriend emailing other women
Posted: 9/17/2007 2:04:11 PM | should you be worried? NO
Are you being stupid? YES
If youre having a difficult time accepting this stuff then quit your screwin around here and put an end to this stuff once and for all. no discussion needed, no explanations, no ultimatums, or time for manipulative tears. Just E.N.D I.T N.O.W.
problem solved.
oh yeah.....youd shouldnt "be worried" because you already know whats goin on...there are no hidden surprises to worry about....its all in the open youre just trying to deny it.
OP I see that you're on your bfs POF profile to write this forum....did you notice his contact restrictions at the bottom of his profile? He is ONLY taking messages from people who live in Afghanistan.....so my guess is he's not gettin much action here. I could be wrong.....but jsut my guess. | |
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| I am having a difficult time accepting my boyfriend emailing other women
Posted: 9/17/2007 2:10:06 PM | OP You are dating a man that emails other women, tells her about his "private" life with you, refuses to tell her that you know about her and have read her mail and tells her his intermost feelings. To top it all off, he is on a dating site looking for a long term relationship.
I'm sorry, I really don't understand how you think you can still have a sincere relationship with him. To me, he has no respect for you at all. | |
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| I am having a difficult time accepting my boyfriend emailing other women
Posted: 9/17/2007 2:12:08 PM | Good lord there is more bullshit from the OP, then a Dairy farm in Mississippi ............................ To all the posters who are kind of enough to offer advice , this thread is bullshit and should of been deleted a long time ago
OP your profile says one thing, and you are posting something else, something smells in the State of Washington and it aint the politicians  | |
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| I am having a difficult time accepting my boyfriend emailing other women
Posted: 9/17/2007 2:17:28 PM | | Again, I apologize for any confusion. As indicated earlier, I am on my boyfriend's site (one of many I have uncovered) and since I am not signed up with any sites I thought I would post here to get some feedback. I truly am sorry for any confusion. It was not my intent at all but I can see how everyone might be confused. I am truly sorry! | |
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| I am having a difficult time accepting my boyfriend emailing other women
Posted: 9/17/2007 2:24:56 PM | To whoever you are:
He lied to her, and he won't come clean. He likes the attention and lying is not above him to do so. In my experience, people treat their S/O the same way they treat others. If he lied to her about his "exploits", then he lied to YOU, too. If he won't come clean with her, he'll never be honest with you.
He keeps spending a great deal of time on porn sites. Either he isn't getting enough, or he has a problem with intimacy - yes, it's true, it's a sign of fear of intimacy.
This guy needs to get a grip. He is a Walter Mitty, who lives in his own fantasy world, and never in the real one. Oh, and I think he's telling this woman all this stuff because he hopes it will get back to his e-wife, about what a "cool dude" he's become. More fantasy.
I am truly sorry you fell for all this BS.
I suggest that you put it to him: either he starts to act like a man, 'fess up to this woman, accept her indignation, and then stop contact, or you should get rid of this waste of skin.
That's my $0.02 | |
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| I am having a difficult time accepting my boyfriend emailing other women
Posted: 9/17/2007 3:17:20 PM | My question is: If you can get in to his crap then he ain't hiding it or he ain't hiding it very well AND Why for the love of god are you not smart enough to join for yourself and give him a taste of his own doings???
Oh wait... I know why....
Cause your just as much of a lier as he is and you don't got the guts to be honest! | |
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