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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > The correct etiquette when posting a 'favorite' on POF?      Home login  
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 getright127
Joined: 9/1/2007
Msg: 1
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The correct etiquette when posting a 'favorite' on POF?Page 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
POF..... I am hoping that someone can break this down for me. When someone lists you as a favorite yet no contact has ever been made, is this an attempt to let you know that they are interested but possibly too shy to send an email? Is it just a tool to use in order to bookmark a profile? If you are chatting for a period of time is it etiquette to list him as your favorite? I am new to POF, I met a 'friend' and because I did not respond to his listing me as a 'favorite' when he listed me, he took offense??? I thought that he was being a Biaaatch about it but now I am wondering, was it something that I did not do? Holla if you can hear me......
 livcom
Joined: 9/1/2007
Msg: 2
The correct etiquette when posting a 'favorite' on POF?
Posted: 9/23/2007 6:50:48 PM
I am with you on this. I have no clue but my guess is bookmarking for future reference if no contact has been made.
 Discofied
Joined: 8/31/2007
Msg: 3
The correct etiquette when posting a 'favorite' on POF?
Posted: 9/23/2007 6:54:44 PM
There are various reasons for placing someone on your favourites list. You have identified some of them. However, our reasons are personal (i.e. only known to ourselves) and expecting someone to instinctively know what is our mind is just ridiculous. And getting mad because you didn't respond to his telepathy is just ludicrous.
 katheryn m
Joined: 4/7/2007
Msg: 4
The correct etiquette when posting a 'favorite' on POF?
Posted: 9/23/2007 6:56:54 PM
I don't know because each person I talk to seems to have a different view. Some tell me they use it as a way to bookmark those they MAY be interested in. I use it to indicate to someone that I am interested in knowing more about them. But if I see them online, and within a reasonable amount of time, they make no contact, I delete them from my list.

I am not as quick to delete someone who has added me, and may send them a "hello and thanks for adding me" email. Some people are shy. The downside about the FAV list is that it can become a real numbers game.

Some people have also told me they don't want to be on a fav list and actually get offended if they are added by people they have not approached. There is some concern by a few I know that other people use the list to "track" them when they are online. Several have said that they don't want to be on fav lists because it makes they appear to be 'taken' or 'players' Frankly, I personally just wing it. If they are on, I say hello, if they are not...oh well.

Looking forward to the responses to this one... I can learn from this question too.

Katheryn
 DonkeyPimp
Joined: 11/5/2006
Msg: 5
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The correct etiquette when posting a 'favorite' on POF?
Posted: 9/23/2007 7:02:10 PM

When someone lists you as a favorite yet no contact has ever been made, is this an attempt to let you know that they are interested but possibly too shy to send an email?


No, it means they are interested, but unable to send you an email due to the restrictions set forth ni your mail settings, such as:


Male
Age between 35 and 50
Live in United States
Must not be looking for Other Relationship
Must not be looking for Intimate Encounter
Must not do drugs
Must not be married


Heaven forbid anyone outside the United States should want to find out more about you!
 sassy redhead
Joined: 9/7/2007
Msg: 6
The correct etiquette when posting a 'favorite' on POF?
Posted: 9/23/2007 7:06:38 PM
I've only been on this site for 2 weeks and have found that everyone seems to have different motivations/uses for the favorites list. I've put guys on mine that I think I might be interested in contacting. I add those who have contacted me and I'm interested in knowing more about.

I've been added to a lot of guys lists who have never contacted me - and haven't been added to some of those who have!

I've also read in the forums that some posters think you should go in and delete the ones you arent interested in - or else you'll look like you arent sincere about meeting just one "special" guy!

So, I essence - there is no right or wrong way to do use the favorites list!
 getright127
Joined: 9/1/2007
Msg: 7
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The correct etiquette when posting a 'favorite' on POF?
Posted: 9/23/2007 7:10:46 PM
Point taken.......
True dat...True dat.....I will take a look at my settings...never thought about that....
Good lookin out with that response. I can see that POF is in the house tonight!!!
 Vintage VB Mermaid
Joined: 8/6/2007
Msg: 8
The correct etiquette when posting a 'favorite' on POF?
Posted: 9/23/2007 7:21:39 PM
I don't think there is any "right" answer here. Everyone has their own idea of when they do it and why. I do it after I've been contacted by someone I am hoping will contact me again. Probably not worth the energy to try and second guess why someone did or didn't do it to you - you'd probably be wrong at least 50% of the time.
 mr. dynomite
Joined: 9/11/2007
Msg: 9
The correct etiquette when posting a 'favorite' on POF?
Posted: 9/23/2007 7:29:20 PM
If i'm being added to a favorite list with no contact or messaging, i delete them. Most times, i don't even look at the favorites option.. (only found out about it yesterday)

If they want to chat, they will PM me. If i like them or think they are pretty kool, i'll leave them on my favorites.
 beachchick
Joined: 6/27/2005
Msg: 10
The correct etiquette when posting a 'favorite' on POF?
Posted: 9/23/2007 7:36:49 PM
I can't imagine getting bent out of shape over this...I don't even know who is on my favorites list anymore and I don't know whose favorites lists I'm on anymore because I haven't looked at either list in probably a month. And it'll probably be another month before I get around to it. If someone "favorites" me and gets mad because I don't "favorite" them back, it's gonna go right over my head because really...WHO CARES???

That said, I do use my "favorites" as a way to bookmark people...I wish we had a "favorites" list and a "friends" list that were separate, so we could use the "friends" list as a quick access list for people you like to email often.
 Oriole
Joined: 6/30/2007
Msg: 11
The correct etiquette when posting a 'favorite' on POF?
Posted: 9/23/2007 8:06:57 PM
I generally use it as a bookmark. If I see an interesting profile but I don't know what to say just then, or I'm too busy, or too many irons in the fire, I make them a favourite. Also if someone contacts me and we get into a sustained conversation, I make them a favourite. The way I see it, if they don't like it, they can remove themselves.
 getright127
Joined: 9/1/2007
Msg: 12
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The correct etiquette when posting a 'favorite' on POF?
Posted: 9/23/2007 8:14:06 PM
Seems to be POF in the house tonight!!! I like this 'Forum' process.
Plenty of advise from the ones who know. or don't know but will give their point of view. Thank you for the feedback and keepem coming.
 LizzieBug
Joined: 2/3/2006
Msg: 13
The correct etiquette when posting a 'favorite' on POF?
Posted: 9/23/2007 8:17:32 PM
I totally concur with Kathryn, there ARE so many variables on this one. Personally I only add men whom I truly wish would contact ME because the personality I FEEL I am reading from their profile, presumably fairly honest, really attracts my spirit. So, not always being the brazen woman, I list them on my faves in hopes they will note that and contact me. One lives in hopes I guess!
Certainly there are other times although more rarely that I feel a little outrageous and adventurous and I do I.M. or email someone, but that is certainly not the larger of the small percentage.
Anyway, hugs to all, we are all brave, and hopefully all seeking something we do not have at present, and someone with whom we could share a momentary or life long very special personally fulfilling relationship.
Liz
xox
 dreadstalker
Joined: 6/3/2007
Msg: 14
The correct etiquette when posting a 'favorite' on POF?
Posted: 9/23/2007 8:24:14 PM
Lots of variables on this one. If you are a regular poster in the forums you will find people often add you. Nothing about it, theyt just use it to keep track of your posts.
 Goodluckfox
Joined: 5/3/2007
Msg: 15
The correct etiquette when posting a 'favorite' on POF?
Posted: 9/23/2007 8:28:13 PM
Don't forget the people who are just into "collecting" as many "friends" as they can. Mass frienders... gah.

I added a lady friend of mine to my favorites and wrote a Testimonial about how nice she is, trying to help her out.. not that pretty girls need that much help around here.
 becca210
Joined: 7/26/2006
Msg: 16
The correct etiquette when posting a 'favorite' on POF?
Posted: 9/23/2007 9:26:28 PM
I've never thought of so many ways to use the favorites. I use mine as a bookmark.
I usually place them there after looking at matches (which are a joke mostly) and if they
are someone that I think is a match or sounds interesting...I add to favorites list.
If after a while, neither of us has made a move.....I will delete.
No big deal.
Becca
 januaryrain
Joined: 4/8/2007
Msg: 17
The correct etiquette when posting a 'favorite' on POF?
Posted: 9/23/2007 10:01:02 PM
I have used it to bookmark a profile that I find interesting or funny.
I have used it because I am interested in the person.
I have used it for easy contact of friends.
For those that add me as favorite, well after sometime of no contact I may send an e-mail to say hello and thank them for adding me to their favorites. Most times I get a reply back so could be their way of letting me know that they were interested.
I don't know, but for those that use it as a popularity contest or are afraid to contact someone who is on many other's favorites list, well they are just paying too much attention to it.
 Pamperpooch41
Joined: 9/20/2007
Msg: 18
The correct etiquette when posting a 'favorite' on POF?
Posted: 9/24/2007 5:47:27 AM
Just because someone likes you, doesn't mean you have to say you like them back. You shouldn't feel guilty if someone puts you on a favourite, I'm sure they wouldn't. Worry about yourself and what you're hoping to get from this site. If a guy or girl can't handle not being contacted when they add you to favourites, then it's them that has a problem. If they have any backbone and are worthy date material they will probably message you.
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 19
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The correct etiquette when posting a 'favorite' on POF?
Posted: 9/24/2007 3:15:42 PM
I put girls on my fav lists that interest me in some way.
It could be their ad, or something they said in the forums.

If someone has added you, and you're interested back..
It's a good ice breaker to write and say thanks or ask why.
 Wemble_on_KrimiaRiver
Joined: 9/18/2007
Msg: 20
The correct etiquette when posting a 'favorite' on POF?
Posted: 9/24/2007 3:42:54 PM
There is an easy way to bookmark a favorite and that would be to have an actual folder on your computer where you could bookmark favorites, but that's pretty complicated to do. It can be a numbers game as well. The biggest I've seen so far is a woman from my own state of Wisconsin who was on 224 people's favorites. Impressive. I guess they were all just bookmarking her profile.
 SassySky
Joined: 7/28/2007
Msg: 21
The correct etiquette when posting a 'favorite' on POF?
Posted: 9/24/2007 8:30:54 PM

I put girls on my fav lists that interest me in some way.
It could be their ad, or something they said in the forums.

If someone has added you, and you're interested back..
It's a good ice breaker to write and say thanks or ask why.


Good answer I also book mark people I correspond with, I like what they have to day etc etc.
Don't get worked up about it anymore than looking to see who viewed you.. I turned that feature off about the second day. Since I am always clicking on Profiles
Welcome to POF and enjoy with the rest of us crazy people
 jtw1974
Joined: 6/18/2007
Msg: 22
The correct etiquette when posting a 'favorite' on POF?
Posted: 9/24/2007 8:35:57 PM
I'm only collecting potential targets for stalking.
 WmPhenn
Joined: 1/28/2006
Msg: 23
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The correct etiquette when posting a 'favorite' on POF?
Posted: 10/14/2007 8:42:49 PM
It's a STORAGE BIN

You put them there for future referance, I get busy....(very busy) sometimes and don't necessarily have the time to email right that minute. But don't want to lose you in the vast ocean out there with all the other fish; so I place you in the cooler till I have time to properly email. Then when I do, you are easily accesable
 Jewlsey
Joined: 12/21/2006
Msg: 24
The correct etiquette when posting a 'favorite' on POF?
Posted: 10/15/2007 7:49:23 AM
I think everyone uses 'favorites' differently. There are people who have added me to their favorite list and I have no idea who they are nor have they ever made contact. When I first joined, I would delete such people every couple of months but they just re add me, so I don't bother. I can't read their minds. I use it as a bookmark when I do specific searches. If I don't choose to contact someone after looking the profiles over again, I remove - I also remove after I have contacted until I know that there's interest on their part as well. The only people on my favorite list are people I have actually had contact with and continue to have contact with from time to time.

Cheers
Jewlsey
 guy_in_toronto_28
Joined: 2/11/2007
Msg: 25
The correct etiquette when posting a 'favorite' on POF?
Posted: 10/15/2007 7:58:26 AM
I guess some people use it for different things...

I was using it to bookmark profiles that I had some interest when I was doing a search.

It meant that I might contact at a later time by email to know more. Some people I reconsidered and end up never contacting them and I removed them from my list after a while.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > The correct etiquette when posting a 'favorite' on POF?