| Single Dads with kids! Why are women scared?
Posted: 9/25/2007 6:08:42 PM | | Met a lady the other day for coffee and when I told her I was a single dad she couldnt get out of there fast enough! This isnt the first time either.Seems like women with kids have a easier time finding someone. Or does it just seem like that? | |
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| Single Dads with kids! Why are women scared?
Posted: 9/25/2007 6:14:54 PM | i havent had too many problems with it, but i always get it out in the open right off the bat,during the first meeting/conversation. and you're grown,you know exactly why women have it easier than we do!!!! LOL!!! | |
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| Single Dads with kids! Why are women scared?
Posted: 9/25/2007 6:15:42 PM | | Well i know I personally like it when a guy has a kid becuase it does show some commitment. I guess some girls just cant handle the fact that they wont be the only important thing in the guys life. | |
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| Single Dads with kids! Why are women scared?
Posted: 9/25/2007 6:16:01 PM | | Honestly, I've never had the opportunity to date a single Dad that I remember. I'm open to it and don't avoid them. Seems most of the guys I've dated have never been married and have no kids, like me. Perhaps its just a matter of shared experiences and different priorities. | |
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| Single Dads with kids! Why are women scared?
Posted: 9/25/2007 6:17:48 PM | Is it all women? There could be a difference if she has kids herself or not, or if she has already raised kids and is sort of "been there, done that."
In my experience, I've found that some guys want a mommy to step in and take over the responsibility. Not saying all are like that, but it can make a woman think twice about taking the work of a family without having any kids of her own yet... | |
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| Single Dads with kids! Why are women scared?
Posted: 9/25/2007 6:45:03 PM | | why are you posting this in 'broken hearts'?! don't tell me your heart breaks every time?? and, regarding your question, I think you'll find, just like some men who don't want to date women who are single mothers, you'll find some women who feel the same way about single fathers. sounds like perhaps you are not asking enough questions/reading enough in the profiles/writing enough about yourself in your profile maybe before you arrange to meet. and of course, if they do run upon hearing of what all parents know is one of the most amazing, challenging, and growth producing experiences of our lives....if they run, great. doesn't mean they are scared - just choosing obviously not to share that part of you or your life. | |
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| Single Dads with kids! Why are women scared?
Posted: 9/25/2007 6:57:42 PM | My question is....WHY would you be meeting someone before this is out in the open???
I don't understand why people are meeting so fast. I try to lay it all out in my profile, to weed out a lot of hastle right up front!! Nothing wrong with that. There is no reason to leave a "big" thing out of your profile. It would just make me think someone isnt honest or that I would always have to ask questions, not get facts up front.
If you have a child or children, SAY it in the profile. No surprises, be proud to be a dad!
I won't date a man that doesn't have or hasn't had kids. People are just different once they have been a parent. I like what being a parent does to a person so I look for that. I also don't want to find someone while my child is still young and the guy not have someone for her to be around too. I do a lot as a family. | |
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| Single Dads with kids! Why are women scared?
Posted: 9/25/2007 7:09:59 PM | | Very interesting post. I have never had that problem with the women i have dated, they admire the fact that i am a great dad and love my kids. If a woman is not willing to accept my kids, they are not the one for me. Cuz my kids are the most important people in my life, they come first over anybody. | |
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| Single Dads with kids! Why are women scared?
Posted: 9/25/2007 7:11:48 PM | | TO JAG62 First of all I didnt meet her on this site! Second I didnt get the chance to tell her till I met her for coffee and told her within 5 mins of our meeting! And third the lady who posted before you is right I posted this in the wrong section! My apoligies to all I will try to delete and repost in the right section. | |
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| Single Dads with kids! Why are women scared?
Posted: 9/25/2007 7:11:51 PM | "Met a lady the other day for coffee and when I told her I was a single dad she couldnt get out of there fast enough! This isnt the first time either.Seems like women with kids have a easier time finding someone. Or does it just seem like that?"
Consider the possibility that some women doesn't want kids. I'm one of them, and therefore won't date anyone with kids. It's not fair to anyone involved. | |
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| Single Dads with kids! Why are women scared?
Posted: 9/25/2007 7:19:16 PM | Sometimes there's more to the story.
Maybe you amiably share custody with the mother .
Maybe you have primary custody.
Maybe you're a man who is a "controller" so often the case when a dad has sole or primary custody, and that it waves a huge flag to a perceptive woman. A perceptive woman could quickly recognize your obsession with the mother as you work to deny her and the child their "natural" relationship. Why would she wish to get involved in that unnatural dynamic.
You'd need to relate more about your personal situation.
If you're a male who believes you can be a better parent and that you're protecting your child from its mother (that's just a story by the way), then that might show a profile of you that a healthy woman does not want to be involved with.
Sorry.....speculating, same as all others, because you HONESTLY know the answer to your own question.
-cmp- | |
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| Single Dads with kids! Why are women scared?
Posted: 9/25/2007 7:20:48 PM | | Well, you've got me! I would personally like to find a guy who maybe already has kids. It would probably make him have better insight into women and what they go through! Plus, I think a guy with kids is probably more responsible and less apt to screw me around! My one question would be: would he be open to having more children? | |
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| Single Dads with kids! Why are women scared?
Posted: 9/25/2007 7:21:19 PM | | Women with children have as many difficulties in the single life. We either meet men who have no patience with children at all or want more kids of their own. Seems I can't find a guy that is interested in spending time with my kids as well as me. | |
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| Single Dads with kids! Why are women scared?
Posted: 9/25/2007 7:21:56 PM | | I have my kids because their mom is an alcoholic who cant handle it! If she ever sobers up then we can talk about 50/50 custody thats my story! I would never try to control anybody except myself! | |
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| Single Dads with kids! Why are women scared?
Posted: 9/25/2007 7:27:30 PM | I can only give you my personal views on why I'M afraid to date single dads. I've tried it twice and failed miserably so I don't date men that have children anymore. DATING single dads is fine; it becomes a problem when the relationship moves forward. There are SO many issues that arise (custody battles, discipline, decision-making, money, etc, etc). In an ideal world, each issue should be able to be dealt with maturely by all adults involved. Must I say, this is not an ideal world.
As much as I have been hurt by losing these children that I grew to love, my heart ached for the children. THEY are the ones who always suffer the most in the end. As adults we learn how to deal with relationship problems but the children shouldn't be put through so much - in my opinion. I think the kids have enough to deal with just trying to understand why mommy and daddy are no longer together. They shouldn't be put in a place to wonder why is daddy alone again, and again...
I guess the short answer is - for me - I don't date men with children because I do not want to love the children and lose them again. Now that years have passed, it may be selfish but I do wish to be a top priority in someone's life - impossible when dating single dads.
Just a question: Why do men insist on women (or me I guess) meeting their children right away? Children (big and small) have enough to worry about other than meeting another girl that daddy likes.
I do wish you luck and I do hope you find someone who isn't afraid of the "Single Dad". | |
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| Single Dads with kids! Why are women scared?
Posted: 9/25/2007 7:32:42 PM | Personally, I would welcome dating a man with kids, whether he had primary custody or not.
Of course, my chances of having children of my own, biologically speaking, are very slim, so its likely the only way I'll have kids is to marry into them.  | |
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| Single Dads with kids! Why are women scared?
Posted: 9/25/2007 7:34:54 PM | OP, I can't answer that.Single dads that are responsible, great dads are prime real estate with most of my friends. We look at a single dad as more settled, been thru the grind, more secure, not as easily spooked. They also tend to more realistic about things..
Good Luck Fishing | |
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| Single Dads with kids! Why are women scared?
Posted: 9/26/2007 4:25:12 AM | To the poster above .. why do you have a picture of a woman who Is not you as your main profile picture? And does this girl know shes representing the woman In the other photos who Is nothing like her on a dating site? WHAT ARE SOME PEOPLE ON THESE THINGS THINKING BESIDES WASTING OTHERS TIME. Yup Im having a bad and delusion tolerance free day  | |
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| Single Dads with kids! Why are women scared?
Posted: 9/26/2007 4:46:51 AM | | i personally would prefer to date a guy with a child, in the past i have come to find men who dont already have kids.. became very jealous of my daughter!! now thats just sad!!im afraid some people are just that way, and believe me it isnt easier for women, but its there loss. if they are not willing to expect you and your child. they are not worth your time | |
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| Single Dads with kids! Why are women scared?
Posted: 9/26/2007 4:48:07 AM | Sorry, i have to disagree with your they, I being on my own wiht my child, look for a single dad, think it shows a lot a bout a guy theat brings his children up. happy 
Regard dark angel | |
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| Single Dads with kids! Why are women scared?
Posted: 9/26/2007 5:01:16 AM | | The only reason a single dad would put me off is the ones that have their kids all weekend every weekend. Maybe that sounds selfish but i dont see where youd have the chance to date the guy? | |
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| Single Dads with kids! Why are women scared?
Posted: 9/26/2007 5:17:35 AM | I have my kids all weekend, every weekend. If that's how the arrangements end up falling, you want the guy to pawn his kids off on some baby sitter to accommodate your schedule? Or you won't go out with him? Not really fair. Trust me, you find time to date. Weekends aren't the only time to go out.
If you're a male who believes you can be a better parent and that you're protecting your child from its mother (that's just a story by the way), then that might show a profile of you that a healthy woman does not want to be involved with.
UMM? WHAT? Why would a healthy woman not believe the dad might be the better parent? Besides women who haven't had children yet and want to share that first child with a man who hasn't had children yet either (perfectly logically and acceptable), here's probably your biggest problem! Women who believe the mother automatically makes the better parent, and there must be something wrong with you if you "took the kids" away from their mother, are usually going to end up being very selfish, high-maintenance, or just generally undesirable. If they can't accept the fact that a dad can be just as good, or better parent than the mother (not even talking problem mother, just two regular adults), then she's the one with something wrong, not you. | |
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| Single Dads with kids! Why are women scared?
Posted: 9/26/2007 5:32:27 AM |
Seems like women with kids have a easier time finding someone. Or does it just seem like that?
OP, it just seems like that. There are plenty of guys who don't want to get involved with a single woman who has kids.
It depends on the age of your kids, though, and the age/maturity of the women you are trying to date.
On the contrary, I've seen the women flock right in to help out a single guy with kids. That's because it's our nature to be more nurturing. (Heck, I call myself a "universal mom." If it cries, I pick it up! )
On the flip side, there are plenty of single moms out there slugging it out alone. I was one of them--still am--only my kids are almost grown now. I've had my kids 24/7/365 . It's been hard, hard work, but my kids and I are very close as a result.
Hang in there, you'll find her. | |
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| Single Dads with kids! Why are women scared?
Posted: 9/26/2007 5:33:14 AM | | Excuse me? It says quite clearly on your profile that you are a single father! Did she not bother to read your profile? Was it not on your profile at that time? if not, why not? and if it wasnt, why didnt it come up in chat prior to meeting? too many unanswered questions here! | |
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| Single Dads with kids! Why are women scared?
Posted: 9/26/2007 5:49:45 AM | Being a single dad is very admirable, leaving little to ask about regarding his character. I have found there are a majority of men in there early 40's who are in the dad stage...I think it's wonderful. Personally, not for me though. Not because I'm scared but simply because I am done with that stage and I want to be able to enjoy 'numerous' things in life 'without children' now.
On another note, these days a blended family is very common and although most people think they are equipped to maintain....they are not. I have had the opportunity of sharing conflicts with blended families and in short.....unless you find a fantastic mate with no children then 'your children' are better off being raised by you only, as a single parent.
Dating?....have at it and have fun!!! Divulging your information regarding your single parenthood....forget it....it's none of their business....you're just on a date. If your date brings up the subject, be honest, but if there's an aura of change then pay the bill and leave....be a gentleman about it of course. I bet you just love facing that fear of rejection everytime you go on a simple date......big hugs to you and good luck. | |
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