| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 5/13/2005 4:30:51 PM | OK here is a question, why are men over 30 single and no kids.. 2 picky, not interested in getting into a relationship. waiting for the perfect one..
Im just kinda weiry of men when they are like 35, single. never lived with a female, and no kids.. Can you please shed some light on this for me.. | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 5/13/2005 4:46:06 PM | as a man of 30 yrs and 6 months can i answer this??? 
i have just not found a woman that i am interested enough to want to...... if the question was the other way round i am sure that this would have been jumped on.....
or it could be just that all the men have been jurked around by picky women in their 30's????
sean xxxxxxx | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 5/13/2005 5:15:34 PM | | thanks for the reply, however no light was really shed on it. But at 35 you would think someone that peeked an interest would have come along. And is there that many women out there these days that play the games as well. Im newly single so Im just curious if these men are kinda relationship challenged or something or just afraid of committment | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 5/13/2005 5:30:12 PM | It's simple observation, sweetnsassy.
I'm 33, I'm single, never married, no kids: because I've helped so many friends get through their own divorces.
Unfortunately, guys believe they are actually providing whatever their woman wants or needs.
Guys, you ARE NOT providing what it is you think you are providing.
Trust me.
Whatever she likes is a consequence of what she really needs, if it's that simple, which it isn't. She may appreciate nice dinners, moonlit walks, and home-cooked meals. But whatever it is you are now doing, she is attracted to something else. And whenever you stop meeting whatever needs you've been unconsciously fulfilling, she will dump you. And you DO NOT know what gaps you've been filling, I assure you.
If this sounds insane, I can guarantee you've never been in a relationship with a woman.
So, to answer your question, sweetnsassy, us single guys in our 30's have realized that women are generally insane.
That we can't please you is a given.
If we go golfing next Saturday, your friends will tell you that we're selfish **stards who'd rather hang out with the guys.
If we take you antiquing next Saturday, your friends will say we're smothering losers who need to cut the apron strings.
We lose either way; so why bother????
So I'm single because women cannot be satisfied.
Men can easily be happy with a situation, but women will always look for a better deal.
Disagree if you'd like, but you're wrong.
Dave04 | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 5/13/2005 5:48:23 PM | Just be careful of the ones who are over 30 and live at home still
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 5/13/2005 5:51:09 PM | Turned 30 this week, have a four year old daughter. Single.
What, you think I'm trying to be this way? LOL | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 5/13/2005 5:56:53 PM | Ok well thats a better answer and I somewhat agree or actually mostly agree being the female. Yes we are complex at the best times and never fully satisfied, but we change, does it hurt for a man to ask us once in awhile what we want and just not assume they know what we want. My ex, I wanted more, not material things, physical things, he couldn't give me what I wanted so I left for something else. He had the choice to give me what I wanted but couldn't. Anyways, this is not about me.lol
So you are basically generalizing for all men then because of what you feel about women, what about the men that are just afraid of committement, anyone there wanna shed some light on why you are afriad if it | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 5/13/2005 6:02:05 PM | | lol firestarter810, Im single as well with 2 kids, none of us deliberately set out to have kids and then become single. My question is really what is a man looking for at the age of 35 that he couldn't find sooner in life, is it by choice, picky, afraid of committement..Im kinda still looking for the prespective of someone in that situation to tell me the reason why this may be.. | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 5/13/2005 6:13:16 PM | Took me all these years trying to figger out what I want. Then just when I think I know it changes!! I've been in some great relationships, as well as some pretty crappy ones. Long and short term. I guess when I find what I'm looking for I hope I'll have the good sense to stop looking!! | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 5/13/2005 6:15:40 PM | I have plenty of friends who are still single. They make fun of me because I am looking for a commitment, and have always, even before my daughter. I just feel the need to find someone I can share everything with; the other half of me.
As for my friends, I don't think they are activly *looking* for something that commitment doesn't give them.
They just like whoring.LOL | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 5/13/2005 6:25:28 PM | Whoring..
Well thats what I think when I hear of someone at that age, single, no real long committed relationship or any children. Players or just looking to get laid..Kinda why I guess my radar goes up with someone in that prediciment.Just seems strange that there are some great men out there and can't understand why they are single.. | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 5/13/2005 8:15:49 PM | | Im 34 ive never been in a long term relationship before,because i was extremely shy(not as bad now,I hope,lol),plus ive been working crazy shift work for the past 16 years which doesn't leave much time for meeting someone,i still live with my mother because i can't afford an appartment or a house on my salary and its also to help her out to pay half the bills to keep the house,i resent the implication of people generalizing some of us who still live with the folks. | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 5/13/2005 8:51:27 PM | Perhaps we can look at in a positive light for the ones that do wait till they're in their mid 30's to get married and have children. Consider that through their 20's, they haven't matured yet, their personalities are still scattered and haven't stabilized, financially still insecure and a litany of other unstable characteristics.
In retrospect, in this day and age, I think too many people are getting married in their 20's and having kids way too early. As they and their mates approach their mid 30's they're discovering that they're traveling in opposite directions, finding less in actual common with each other, their personalities are becoming rooted and perhaps on opposite sides of the spectrum with their mates - all potential factors for disintegration of the family unit.
Perhaps the one's that are in their mid 30's have waited for a reason, and a good one. If they start dating seriously, with eventual marriage and family mindedness in their mid to late 30's, perhaps they've finally stabilized in all the areas that are required to sustain a lasting relationship. But then again, there's just way too many different answers, none of which are better than the other ........
just my take on why it is, and why it should be ........... | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 5/13/2005 9:02:29 PM | It does not matter why they are still single......the only thing that matters is they are out there - looking. With hope in their hearts.
Guys.........don't go getting yourself all worked up about this - some of us women understand...ifn I had known back then what I know now, I would have stayed single til I was ready too...instead of hooking up with the wrong man and having kids.
Squeak | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 5/13/2005 9:03:08 PM | | Great outlook on it and makes total sense..Thanks | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 5/13/2005 9:04:59 PM | I'm 35, single, no kids. Not interested in getting in a relationship, either. Why? Because I'm happy this way. I can spend all the money I earn in myself, I don't ask for permission to go anywhere, I can leave the toilet seat up (in fact, that's the default position in my home). Since my work only needs a computer and a phone line, I can pick up my backpack and travel whenever the mood strikes me.
Besides, I've seen what happens to married guys. I've seen guys asking the wife for permission to eat a extra slice of cake, or the slim, pretty bride turning into a gunnery sargent with moustache and all. No, thanks. That's not for me. And I've seen too many divorces, with the poor sap being evicted from his house and his children's lives.
I'm used to live alone, although I have a live-in maid now (My time is too valuable, and let's accept it, it's nice to have somebody else doing your laundry and cooking). But I'm a good cook and the service taught me to be tidy, so my house never was the "pigsty" where a bachelor is supposed to live. For sex, there are always escorts and massage parlors, or some female friend.
About children, I have 10 brothers and sisters, and a boatload of nephews and nieces. Close enough to play the uncle dearest, far enough to avoid drama.
So I have no reason to marry. Moreover, I have no plans to marry at all.
And before accusing me of immature, just look around and see how many mature guys in their thirties are out there, divorced and paying alimony. | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 5/13/2005 9:16:52 PM | | Its not immature, Im just trying to find out why is all..Everyone is entitled to live their lives as they wish, and if this makes you happy then thats the main thing. | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 5/13/2005 9:25:58 PM | Oh no, you didn't. Some people think we are, that's all. :)
About your question, I'd say you have received many reasons.
Summarizing:
- Not found a woman interesting enough
- Marriage too dangerous for a man
- Women are too complex
- Not interested in marriage
- Still looking
- Shyness
- Waiting to be established
I'd say it's a pretty good mix, I hope we shed some light about this subject. Perhaps a more interesting question would be: What could make those confirmed bachelors consider the possibility of marriage? | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 5/13/2005 9:36:36 PM | | Why get married? Really, I don't see the need. Why not just live together? That way when the love fades (which it almost always does), you can just leave without the financial terror that divorce can cause. As for kids, there's no way I'd bring a human into this world. Who would want to be born into this place the way it is? I know I wouldn't. | |
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Shaps
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Joined: 4/23/2005
Msg: 21 | |
| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 5/13/2005 9:37:38 PM | I tried to talk to you yet you just flip over my message.
I saw your picks, I read your profile and spent the time to send a message.
And us never being married or not having kids, doesn't make us idioits, it makes us smart.
Would you prefer to know a guy who is like 35 and has been married 2 times or has 4-5 kids by 4-5 different women ??? | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 5/14/2005 12:03:20 AM | sassy, i think you're right..if you build it (the love nest) they will come...and come..if you don't they will run. At 30 plus the games kinda need to go away. Its like marriage and kids and mortgage and work and job age..really...sad but true..I was in some kind of 10 year hiatus of depression and 1/2 assed work and family b.s. _ stres strain and pain..so I went from being 20 - 30 (just like that) Now I'm like...Ok .....ah...its like having to date people or being a pro skater or bball player....or going from a 15 year old girl to 30 year old woman...you just have to practice being some kind of dating whore hahahah I'm doing it with this site hahahhahah nah love love love..it arrives when the student is ready...the teacher.
they say this age group men can['t buy a house for 18,000 bucks like you could in the 1950=60's ...twixters...can't get ahead as eazy..and we're selfish...no reason to get married..like in "the old dasys" | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 5/14/2005 12:20:18 AM | | It started out as me just being shy and self-conscious. Eventually I became more comfortable with who I was but the old habits die hard I guess. I'm only now seriously thinking about life priorities now that all my rowdy friends have settled down. | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 5/14/2005 5:37:15 AM | Shappy, I read your message and appreciated the feedback. You stated fact didn't know you requred a reponse. Sorry if I offeneded you.
Im not asking about marriage at all, hell I have never been married and I know the answer as to why I would never do it and assume with men its prolly close to being the same.
My question was basically why men at that age are single, no kids, never really in a serious relationship, just asking why this could be from a male prespective was all.. Hell marriage never even entered my mind | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 5/14/2005 7:18:15 AM | | Well lets see I am 33 and have lived with women, been engaged twice and both times they got cold feet, Was going to be a father once until it was aborted with out my knowledge till after the fact. I am an easygoing person and ready to take the commitment but seems like I just have bad luck at choosing. | |
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