| if a women is single for a long time would you think she was odd?
Posted: 9/26/2007 3:32:42 PM | if a women says she has been single for 5 years ,would you think "there must be something wrong with her " ?? or would you not really be bothered how long a woman has been single ?
is there a point when your alarm bells would start ringing? | |
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| if a women is single for a long time would you think she was odd?
Posted: 9/26/2007 3:57:45 PM | I've met a few women here that hadn't been dating for a long time... One hadn't "been" with a man for 7 years. From my experience I've found these women to be more set in their ways than normal and (go figure) most want the perfect guy. There's no such thing as the perfect guy... well not since that guy who walked on water and could heal all afflictions. To me the good things do outweigh the bad though; someone that hasn't dated in a long time has probably not on the rebound, no ex is likely to crash the date and it shows that she knows how to be independent. These are just a few of the high points (my opinions) on the subject so don't bash... 
To answer in a word... No
Most guys probably would rather be the first in a while as to one in a string of wild rides... | |
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| if a women is single for a long time would you think she was odd?
Posted: 9/26/2007 3:57:47 PM |
women is single for a long time would you think she was odd?
Only if she had a cluttered yard and the obligatory bazillion cats.
if a women says she has been single for 5 years
Single, as in unmarried for 5 years? BFD.
is there a point when your alarm bells would start ringing?
The first mention of her bazillion cats. | |
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| if a women is single for a long time would you think she was odd?
Posted: 9/26/2007 4:06:25 PM | You'd seem odd if:
You had a house full of cats and knew all their names.
Your fingernails were 6" long and full of crud.
You answer the door in the same nightgown you put on last year and never thought to change.
All the posts you respond to are in the form of degradation or bashing.
If you've been on this site for a long time and ain't found one yet. (a year or more)
There's nothing odd about men or women who have been single for an extended period. There are manyhealthy reasons for it.
You ain't weird, Lady. You may be a lot more emotionally ready than a lot of us here for having done that. | |
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| if a women is single for a long time would you think she was odd?
Posted: 9/26/2007 4:11:02 PM | OP
I would not think a woman was odd at all who happen to be single for 5 years. What I would think is that the woman was taking her time finding the right guy for her and not just jumping in and out of relationships all the time.
When would alarm bells go off? That would depend on the person themselves. I suppose if a woman said something like. "I'm happy single for life because all men are jerks" or something to that extent in her overall attitude, then yes big time alarms there. | |
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| if a women is single for a long time would you think she was odd?
Posted: 9/26/2007 4:22:44 PM |
sensualsteve why would you think it odd that a single woman hasn't had sex in a few years if she has also been single?
I find it odd when I hear about any healthy adult person who goes without sex for several years. The exception are priests and nuns etc etc. | |
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| if a women is single for a long time would you think she was odd?
Posted: 9/26/2007 5:45:06 PM | | OP.. Is that completly single, or just haven't had a serious relationship. I've been "single" for three years, but I've had a few trial relationships. I'd find it odd if you haven't seen anyone for 5 years, regardless of whether that's 5 yrs. with or w/o sex | |
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| if a women is single for a long time would you think she was odd?
Posted: 9/26/2007 6:25:28 PM | Steve,
"Any healthy adult that goes without sex for several years.."....needs to be qualified even more please....
Do you consider it "odd" except for for priests,nuns, etc,ect, to be excluded because of their profession???? So does profession determine sexual activity ?(which I presume you mean physical sex between consenting adults).
What about availability and accessability? And meeting certain basic requirements like chemistry, not just oposite sex?
If one is not "out and about" where the prospective "sex partners " are, in otherwords isolated, then internet dating is a possibility, but physical contact is still not possible so does "virtual sex" qualify as sex?
And "healthy" is not qualified either. Is that all forms of health in total to be "healthy", so if one(mental, physical,emotional) is less than perfect they are unhealthy and sex foregone is allowed with out judgement?
And the word"odd" is especially not qualified, it being very subjective to the user's meaning. Do you mean different from the norm? but what is the norm? an average? which is in turn taken from a cross section sampled and then results tabulated to give an "average" reading. And age of sexual activity must be included in the sampling, therefore if one is abstinant from 60 to 80 or death, is that "Odd"?
I think the OP was intending to ask "Would I be judged as not being "normal" if I abstain from sex for 5 yrs?" To me , length of time of sexual abstainence does not give the listener of this revealation permission to be judge and jury.
Until you have walked in my shoes, don't tell me how you walk in yours.
"Odd" meaning unusual, yes. Any other additional judgements is unfair and unreasonable without knowing all the facts and reasons for the abstinance, and even then...it's not up to you to judge.
My answer to the OP is whatever your reason for abstinance, it belongs to you and you don't have to defend it! | |
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| if a women is single for a long time would you think she was odd?
Posted: 9/26/2007 8:46:03 PM | | I don't think it is terribly odd for a woman to be single for an extended period of time. I would think it was odd if they didn't have friends or boyfriends though. That alone wouldn't say anything that was a deal breaker. Your profile doesn't say much about you, but nothing strikes me as weird. You are probably just a normal person. | |
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| if a women is single for a long time would you think she was odd?
Posted: 9/27/2007 10:07:07 PM | It's astounding how our society has somehow linked abstinence and the love of felines together as some sort of illness...Sheesh. LOL...Please refer to my profile and you'll see why this is hilarious for me. I am a healthy, happy adult woman who lives alone with her cats. Having a love for cats and caring for them is a strong indicator that there is plenty of love to go around. People have been socialized to believe that it's abnormal. Abnormality suggests risk, distress, impairment, or socially unacceptable behavior. My having pets is none of those. I have a lot of responsibility that comes with this, that I am willing and able to take on--just like having children, which is what I very much look forward to doing.
But...before I bring children into the world, I need to meet someone who I am congruent with, on all levels. I take care of myself, so that another person who shares my values will be able to connect with me. I believe that I am in the preparation phase of my love life. I am getting prepared to spend the rest of my life with someone. I don't want to spend my time sharing my body with someone who won't share heart and soul with me, or I with them. I don't go on silly dating websites to maybe, kinda, sorta connect. I am ready for the real thing.
I believe we all know when it's real, we just have to be open to it.
Breathe free and feel the present moment. And don't sweat the small stuff.
Peace, Michelle
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| if a women is single for a long time would you think she was odd?
Posted: 9/29/2007 1:15:43 PM | | I wouldn't think that at all. I have basically been single for over 7 years except for a 1 year relationship during that time. I date frequently and I have a huge circle of friends that I hang out with and go out and do things with on a regular basis. I am just kinda picky is all and I have no problem with it. I was in a bad relationship for almost 15 years and I'll never put myself in that position again. So if I have to remain single until I find what I am looking for then so be it, I have no problem with being single at all! | |
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Rhett1
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Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 21 | |
| if a women is single for a long time would you think she was odd?
Posted: 9/29/2007 5:26:46 PM | I think I'd rather be single "too long" in another's eyes than settle for a bunch of guys who I'm not necessarily attracted to, just so I don't have to be alone. I feel sorry for people who NEED a relationship, it tells me that they don't want to spend time with themselves. They keep having others in their lives to keep them busy and they won't have to face themselves.
What's wrong with cats? I love my girl! (Okay, yes, I only have one...now). | |
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| if a women is single for a long time would you think she was odd?
Posted: 9/29/2007 5:57:52 PM | "if a women is single for a long time would you think she was odd?"
Yes! Unless she was trapped on deserted Island, in quarantine for some rare tropical disease or perhaps in a coma for the past five years...
If someone goes that long without any type of monogamous relationship then they probably have a multitude of unresolved issues.I am talking no monogamous relationships with the opposite sex.What is someone supposed to think about someone who hasn't even tried and failed in a relationship in say perhaps 5 years? To many bad things come to mind.( dont have time for a relationship, don't want relationship, don't like intimacy, hate men, a lot of baggage,emotional scarring, bitterness,harpiness, emotionally unavailable, assexual,unrealistic expectations, inflated ego,commitment phobia, to name a few) | |
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| if a women is single for a long time would you think she was odd?
Posted: 9/29/2007 6:11:58 PM | | I'd want to get to know her and find out why. I've met women who had been single for a while, and it turned out that there were red flags. But I've also seen red flags with women who've not been single for a while. So I'd get to know her and make up my own mind. | |
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