| what is an appropriate time frame to meet in person?
Posted: 9/27/2007 7:12:47 PM | | I received one, maybe 2 emails from someone. we chatted twice on msn. suddenly he wants to meet. wants to know the area i live in and asks for my cell no. Oh , and wanted to know if he could call me later on that day by phone. I was caught off guard and lost for a response. Next thing i know, he gives me his cell no. and says to give him a call. Just wanted to know what everyone thinks about this. It made me nervous and unsure. I dont even have a pic of him to know what he looks like. Just wondering. | |
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| what is an appropriate time frame to meet in person?
Posted: 9/27/2007 7:17:17 PM | | I usually chat with someone online for at least a few weeks before giving them a phone number or something to call, then chat for another few weeks to get to know them better before doing anything. I have once before met someone after 1 week, didn't go the best, so if they can't wait a few weeks to meet you, then they're just looking for a 1 night stand. | |
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| what is an appropriate time frame to meet in person?
Posted: 9/27/2007 7:22:35 PM | | ive had a few people want to meet after a short period of time but never immediately. i just was uncomfortable about it. when im asked if i want to meet, im never sure how to handle it or what to say in response other than i prefer to chat online for awhile to get to know them better. | |
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| what is an appropriate time frame to meet in person?
Posted: 9/27/2007 7:24:59 PM | I believe if you don't meet live within 2 weeks of first contact it will never happen.
I have plenty of contacts who give out their home phone number right away so you can verify they are legit.
The key is to meet in a public place if you have any doubts at all.
I have met a few and I don't bother with the phone call at all. Just get to it and then you have an honest idea of the person in question. Just do it wisely and be safe. | |
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bobg
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Joined: 2/7/2006
Msg: 6 | |
| what is an appropriate time frame to meet in person?
Posted: 9/27/2007 8:08:18 PM | | When you think about it, this is the absolute strangest way to meet or get to know someone. You CANNOT get to really know someone via on-line chat or type written messages to each other. Remember the good old days when we actually had face to face meetings with people. Phone conversations are the way to go. You get to know someone and you meet when both individuals are ready to meet. | |
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| what is an appropriate time frame to meet in person?
Posted: 9/27/2007 8:15:29 PM | My style may differ from many, but I avoid more than a couple of e-mails or phone calls. I've found it's nearly impossible to get a good idea of who someone is via the phone or e-mail; there is simply too much that's not there to observe in comparison to a face to face meeting.
For me, the first date isn't a date, it's simply a meeting. Almost invariably for coffee. Half-hour to an hour. What you can learn about a person speaking face to face with them for thirty minutes far exceeds what you can find out about them in a ton of e-mails, and comes closer to what it's like meeting someone "organically". Saves time in the long run - whether you want to see them again or not.
I understand that security and safety are important concerns for women (well, heck, for anybody!). But seriously, we're talking $5 and thirty minutes, in a well-trafficked public place, in broad daylight. It works for me because it works for any woman I would be interested in. Personally, I'll meet pretty much _anyone_ for coffee who indicates an interest and doesn't have any blaring 'red flags' in their profile. Meet ten people, you might make two or three good friends. Make two or three good friends, you might find someone you fall for.
Your mileage may vary.  | |
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| what is an appropriate time frame to meet in person?
Posted: 9/27/2007 8:19:49 PM | Follow on thoughts, though.
I _never_ ask someone where they live, though when arranging a place to meet, I will ask what part of town they're in. I don't think that's out of line, and have no problem giving out that information about myself. I also offer my phone number before we meet. (I'm cell phone only). I've never had anyone become a pest yet. | |
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| what is an appropriate time frame to meet in person?
Posted: 9/27/2007 8:25:37 PM | | You waste less time and can form a better impression by meeting someone quickly. Of course, this really depends on the person. I meandered for months of e-mail with some people and in other cases met right away. Face-to-face meetings tend to make things easier right away. Just be sure it is in a neutral and safe place. | |
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| what is an appropriate time frame to meet in person?
Posted: 9/27/2007 8:39:47 PM | I always tried to meet asap. I believe nothing is like meeting in person. I was very scared when I first started but eventually that fear began to dissipate. I have to admit I have been very fortunate in that every single man I met was a good person.
I tend to meet for coffee like many others have mentioned. I allow about an hour for a meeting, although a couple of them turned into 5 or 6 hrs.! One of them is my present bf. I would often meet at a Starbucks or bookstore coffee shop, usually early evening, when lots of people were around. I would tell at least one friend exactly where I was going to be and from what time to what time. Many women have a friend drive to the meeting place separately and sit in another area--they feel safer doing it this way. There are lots of things you can do to feel safer.
So go for it--but do what you need to do to feel safer and more secure while meeting a stranger. Chances are you will have a lot of fun, gain a nice experience, possibly make a friend, and maybe even more! | |
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| what is an appropriate time frame to meet in person?
Posted: 9/27/2007 9:32:24 PM | An appropriate time frame is what you feel is right for you. Some people are comfortable meeting after only a few chats, some people need a couple weeks, some people need a month or more.
I personally like to move to msn almost right away, just because I don't find conversation flows very well with e-mail. Then after a week or so on there (depending on what kind of vibe I'm getting and how much we've chatted) I'll do the phone number exchange and will generally do the coffee meet after one or two phone chats, but again this is depending on the vibe I get. | |
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| what is an appropriate time frame to meet in person?
Posted: 9/28/2007 3:13:29 AM | | I usualy wait a couple weeks to a month but girl trust your instinct if your nervous and think something is odd just be carefull if he hasnt sent you a picture yet as him for it and just dont give out your number to anyone until you feel your ready to . If you do call him chances he will already have your number on caller Id . Just look for red flags and go with your gut instinct and if you do meet make sure its in a place surrounded by alot of people. | |
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| what is an appropriate time frame to meet in person?
Posted: 9/28/2007 5:55:28 AM | | I will Not meet before conversing for at least a month or two..and that's if I am really interested and I have never had anyone back off due to time length..2 weeks is not alot of time to get to now the basics and feel them out..I feel if they/me are really interested it's worth the wait..and so far None have been disapointed. | |
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| what is an appropriate time frame to meet in person?
Posted: 9/28/2007 6:28:36 AM | I'll meet when she is comfortable with it. Sometimes that's a few days and sometimes it's several weeks. If it drones on and on I'm probably needing to move on at that point though.
Kevin | |
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| what is an appropriate time frame to meet in person?
Posted: 9/28/2007 6:34:05 AM | | OP, the appropriate time frame is whatever makes you both feel comfortable. I generally like to meet sooner rather than later; nothing like emailing for weeks, then talking on the phone for weeks, only to meet and find out they weren't what they had been presenting to be. I know within a few emails if I want to take it to the next level and chat on the phone. One or two phone calls helps me to know if a meeting is a good idea. I always use my cell number, and don't give out my home number or address until I'm comfortable doing so. I don't email with every0ne who contacts me, and I would never meet everyone who contacts me. Some people do, but I'm not going to waste someone else's time, or my own. know what I'm looking for and can tell by email and profile if they're anywhere close to it or not. This works wells for me; haven't had a bad meeting yet...a lot of that is due to the screening I do in emails and profiles...Since I just started dating someone pretty great, it appears to be what works well for me. Best of luck to you. | |
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| what is an appropriate time frame to meet in person?
Posted: 9/28/2007 6:34:40 AM | | I think most people would like to meet A.S.A.P, as things are totally different in person than they are online. You can spend weeks talking to someone, like them, meet them and not like them at all. So there you have wasted all that time getting to know someone you have no intentions on seeing again. | |
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| what is an appropriate time frame to meet in person?
Posted: 9/28/2007 6:52:01 AM | Sooner the better so you two don't end up falling in love with each other's typing.
Quit wasting yer time and his time and meet up.
You may or may not like each other physically.
get it out of the way before the e-feelings start. | |
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| what is an appropriate time frame to meet in person?
Posted: 9/28/2007 7:02:03 AM | I see many red flags in this one...1st....someone who ask to meet after only talking a couple times is usually a player or desperate...
I very rarely give out my number...(until I'm sure they are for real or have spoken a couple times).. & never my home #...(because they can do a reverse check & get your address)....& when you do call...*67 your #(block).. til you are comfortable..
be very wary of someone without a pic...they are probably unattractive or married...& don't believe, "I don't have a camera"...if they can't buy a $20 webcam...you probably don't want to date them anyhow...
asking the area you live in is one thing, but if they ask for details...delete & block...they are either psycho, stupid, or just low class....
I know I sound paranoid....but I'm still alive...& yes, I have many friends & an ex-bf that I know in person & met online...but I took the time to get to know them 1st..& I've found that so many times, I've saved myself alot of trouble, because I would discover that they really weren't what I thought at 1st...they didn't match me...they were married...they were alcoholics...they were blood-drinking devil-worshippers...(true story)...
at the same time...don't go falling completely in love either...(I've made that mistake too)...cause you might not be attracted in person.....
be careful & good luck...happy  | |
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mxk883
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Joined: 8/14/2007
Msg: 23 | |
| what is an appropriate time frame to meet in person?
Posted: 9/28/2007 7:17:53 AM | I've done both (meet quick, wait long time), but now, if schedules and locations permit, I'm a fan of meeting sooner than later. When I first started this online stuff, I did the "tons of emails/IMs" thing a few times, only to finally meet and realize right away it just wasn't there, no matter how great the conversations were. I'm very busy, work a lot of hours and have young kids, and really dont have the time to spend a month emailing and IMing people just to try and meet them.
And for the guy who said anyone who wont email with you for a few weeks is just looking for sex, well that's a pretty unfair generalization I think. Gimme a break. Some of us just have a different way of approaching this online dating. I look at it as a way to "meet" people I would not have had a way to meet in real life. I'd prefer the "getting to know" process to be a combination of electronic and personal interaction. | |
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| what is an appropriate time frame to meet in person?
Posted: 9/28/2007 7:59:15 AM | Hello, I would like to post my 2 cents on this !!! I tend to meet A.S.A.P. as it is the only true way to know if the other person is real or not !!! But yes do it in a safe way!!!! If a person is not serious about meeting and getting to know some one then why are you on a dating sight !!!!! I have spent months chatting on line as well as on the phone to a few ladys and they still said what is the hurry to meet!!!!!???
Well I have come to the conclusion that if after a short time of chating or talking on the phone and you still don't want too meet in person that you are not real!!!! Or in other words a game player!!!!! Which in my case I will write you off and not waste anymore of my time on!!!
So I would say if you are truly are looking for someone then take the chance as you never know what you might find!!! What do you have to lose!!!!??? Just do it the safe way!!! | |
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| what is an appropriate time frame to meet in person?
Posted: 9/28/2007 8:20:23 AM | usually i can tell within the first couple of e mails on pof if im gonna meet him. once it goes to text msg'ing or phone convo, i can tell whether or not i wanna meet him right away, or if i wanna feel him out a little more. its different every time. theres been a few now where we will have a date set, but we end up meeting sooner out of boredom on a random night. lol....
always go with your gut - obviously, you weren't ready to meet this guy. and thats ok. don't feel bad or guilty cuz he came on too strong. tell him you'd like to chat a little more cuz you're not used to meeting ppl so soon.  | |
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