| Is it "rude" not to respond to every email?
Posted: 9/30/2007 9:41:32 AM | I was assuming that by not responding to an email that it meant I am not interested.
I also assumed that at our age (I'm in my early 40's), that it is an understanding and no one would be devestated if they didn't get a response.
I am hearing from men though that they are answering every email with a "not interested" or "no thanks", saying they don't want to be rude.
If I were to do that, I would be on here 24/7 and not have time for anything else!!!
I suppose some think one way and some the other.
So, am I a bit** if I don't answer?? | |
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| Is it rude not to respond to every email?
Posted: 9/30/2007 9:50:21 AM | i consider it rude not to respond, but that is my opinion.
if someone were to walk up to you and start talking to you would you just ignore them as if they were not even there? of course not, same thing here.
now i understand not responding to the jerks that say "hey wanna have sex", but there are people here, nice people, that put a lot of thought into an email, and i think they deserve a token response, at least.
JMHO | |
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| Is it rude not to respond to every email?
Posted: 9/30/2007 10:07:35 AM | For the most part, I tend to agree.
From what I understand, women who recieve mass e-mail (to the point where many of them cannot be answered), most of those messages are not worth answering due to disrespectful content. Such messages deserve to be unanswered. On the other hand, if you read a message that sounds sincere (and you can tell them apart) it should be replied to with something so simple as "not interested" in the very least. If somebody took the time to message you with an honest effort in mind, it is nothing but rude to just ignore them.
Bottom line is that it's a judgement call on the readers part, and it reflects on their personality. I've noticed that many women who proclaim in their profile that they're understanding, easy going, yada yada yada don't bother to reply to the sincere messages (unless the messenger has a stunning photo). Pretty much negates what their profile claims.
JMHO | |
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| Is it rude not to respond to every email?
Posted: 9/30/2007 10:10:33 AM | | At first I just ignored people who emailed me when I had no interest in talking to them, but then I started feeling gulity for some reason so now I try to respond to everyone. Usually a well placed "good luck out there" tends to help. | |
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| Is it rude not to respond to every email?
Posted: 9/30/2007 10:14:44 AM |
but there are people here, nice people, that put a lot of thought into an email, and i think they deserve a token response, at least. I honestly do understand where that comment is coming from, but sometimes there really is just no way to respond.
Not to forget that some of us started out by giving a "token response" and have gotten burned by folks who then want to "argue" with us about why they are "really, really, really" a good match for us. That gets tiresome and we end up just doing the dreaded "read / deleted" thing.
At the time that I was responding to each and every email ... I also thought it was rude of men not to respond. Now that I have experienced the "argumentative" type of email ... I too have adopted the "no response" method. It does send a message.
Unfortunately, for folks who are relatively new to Internet dating ... they might not understand such an attitude (no response) and become bitter.  | |
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| Is it rude not to respond to every email?
Posted: 9/30/2007 10:16:53 AM |
I am hearing from men though that they are answering every email with a "not interested" or "no thanks", saying they don't want to be rude.
I believe that the men outnumber the women like 25 to 1 on this website. Also, most women don't believe in making the first contact. So, chances are that those men who said they are answering every email are probably getting a lot less email and it would be easier for them. | |
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| Is it rude not to respond to every email?
Posted: 9/30/2007 10:19:24 AM |
Is it rude not to respond to every email?
Only when you dont respond to mine
JMO..if a guy put a good effort into the mail, then maybe a reply of some sort is in order.
of course
JMHO
MAPT | |
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| Is it rude not to respond to every email?
Posted: 9/30/2007 10:31:22 AM | If the message is rude, sexually suggestive, text talk, no content, etc. then no, not at all rude to delete those.
If the message shows the person took the time to write a nice intro message, read your profile, etc. then yes, extremely rude.
In all honesty - if my messages are read/deleted, it tells me alot about her without having said a word. Plus, it's always nice to return the favor if they write you weeks or months later ... seemingly forgetting they disdained me in the past.
We all need a wee bit of vindictivism in our lives.
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| Is it rude not to respond to every email?
Posted: 9/30/2007 10:43:08 AM |
If I were to do that, I would be on here 24/7 and not have time for anything else!!!
Well you must get a helluva lot of emails if it would take you that long....That only means that you don't even open the mail than? And if you don't open the mail than why are you here?....Even if it took 30 seconds to look, it would only take 15 seconds to hit reply, no thanks.
Although some are just here for the forums anyways, and no reply is OK | |
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| Is it rude not to respond to every email?
Posted: 9/30/2007 10:54:50 AM | | I personally try to respond to every email I receive because I appreciate someone taking the time and interest in me, but I first and foremost am just interested in friendship (not that I wouldn't get romantically involved if the right one came along). It doesn't bother me in the least if someone doesn't respond to mine. If I were on here simply to be in a romantic relationship I probably would be more selective in my responses. Think about it though...The people who become upset when they receive no reply I can only imagine how there delicate ego will feel when they read the reply..."no thanks", it would probably feel like a slap in the face. It seems you can't win on here! LOL | |
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| Is it rude not to respond to every email?
Posted: 9/30/2007 11:01:51 AM | it's one of those things that will roll and roll
in an ideal world you would get a reply to every mail you send, even if its to say no thanks and then that would be the end of that
but hey this is the real world and you just need to live with the fact that its not going to happen. Most people accept that, those that don't, hey their loss | |
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| Is it rude not to respond to every email?
Posted: 9/30/2007 11:15:32 AM | Only as rude as it is for someone to email you without permission and expect a response.
If the guy has truly taken time and effort to write to you, showing that he has read your profile, and is sincere in his attempt...then yes, take time to thank him, and tell him you're not interested.
If not, then no...it is not necessary to respond. Too many mass mailers, hit-and-runs, snaggers and netters looking for a catch.
Dev | |
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| Is it rude not to respond to every email?
Posted: 9/30/2007 11:16:26 AM | | Oh no its not rude at all. Considering when you DO respond it turns ugly (I've had this experience a few times actually). I would just read and let it sit, now I just delete automatically unless I know said person from beforehand. | |
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| Is it rude not to respond to every email?
Posted: 9/30/2007 12:06:19 PM |
now I just delete automatically unless I know said person from beforehand.
This is fine for someone like yourself who is looking for "friends".
How can someone who's actually looking for a relationship make that kind of contact if you've already closed the door?
After all, this is (dare I say it) a dating site. | |
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| Is it rude not to respond to every email?
Posted: 9/30/2007 12:48:19 PM | It would be nice if you could respond to emails. Particularly polite and well thought out ones.
Nevertheless, we all understand that no response means "No Thanks", and that there are various reasons why a person might not respond.
I'd certainly prefer a polite "No Thanks" response to no response at all. After all, everybody isn't for everybody. But in practical terms, I don't fret much if I don't get a response. Nor do I consider it rude.
Just do the best you can, and don't worry. | |
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| Is it rude not to respond to every email?
Posted: 9/30/2007 1:13:35 PM | I don't consider it rude, it's just how it works here. I can't imagine the volume of email some of you women must get. Like you said you could be on here 24/7 saying thanks but no thanks up the ying yang.
Don't sweat it. | |
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| Is it rude not to respond to every email?
Posted: 9/30/2007 1:14:38 PM | Must be tough being so popular.
Guys are told they don't go into much depth or didn't read or just looking for sex. Seems we are doomed to lose no matter what.
A guy tries to follow the ladies lead and does all the things right. Sets up a nice letter, sends it and 5 min later sees a unread/deleted.
It might be a nice gesture if the ladies who don't make time to respond to include in your profile, "Likely not to return mail." That would solve a lot of your problems and free up your time a bit.
Or list exactly what type of man you won't respond to. Then when you get a dork like me writing to you, you'll know I didn't read your profile.
With your post, you may be getting more mail now, just to irritate you. | |
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| Is it rude not to respond to every email?
Posted: 9/30/2007 1:17:30 PM | It doesn't take even 30 seconds to respond by saying, "Thanks for writing, but I don't think we're a good match." Then you click "Send", and you're done. You were courteous, you've done your part. If you're really concerned about getting return e-mails from them attempting to sway your perspective, or calling you ridiculous names, etc., then there's nothing stopping you from blocking someone after you respond to them courteously.
Inappropriate initial e-mails shouldn't be responded to; the person should be blocked, then their e-mail should be deleted.
Someone expressing legitimate interest but who you just aren't into deserves the kind of response I just typed out above. They were being polite and flattering you by showing interest in you; just as you wouldn't completely ignore someone on the street who walked up and tried to strike up a decent conversation with you, neither should you ignore them here if they're trying to do the same.
I recognize that women get a lot of e-mails here, but the bottom line is this: if you don't have the time to be courteous to a courteous initial contact, maybe you don't have the time to use the site to begin with, and you might not want to have a profile here. | |
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| Is it rude not to respond to every email?
Posted: 9/30/2007 1:22:09 PM | here is the thing most guys have given up trying to meet women out in public so when you have a safe enviroment were you wont get embarresed or your feelings hurt for trying to talk to or getting to know a woman , its basicly a shot at yourself esteem in the begining as you stay on the site longer you create freinds and you uderstand how many emails the woman recive each day | |
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| Is it rude not to respond to every email?
Posted: 9/30/2007 1:30:31 PM | | It may seem rude at first but in the long run it's really not... If the guy doesn't "get it" that you're not interested by not replying then why bother with the eventual debate over why he's the "one for you" when he's not even your type??? | |
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| Is it rude not to respond to every email?
Posted: 9/30/2007 1:31:45 PM | | It's kinda rude to not respond when a man ( like myself ) takes the time to read your profile and take a few minutes of my time to ask genuine questions and not even get a "no thanks" reply. | |
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| Is it rude not to respond to every email?
Posted: 9/30/2007 1:42:04 PM | "silentman73" wrote ...
It doesn't take even 30 seconds to respond by saying, "Thanks for writing, but I don't think we're a good match." Then you click "Send", and you're done. You were courteous, you've done your part.
Someone expressing legitimate interest but who you just aren't into deserves the kind of response I just typed out above. They were being polite and flattering you by showing interest in you; just as you wouldn't completely ignore someone on the street who walked up and tried to strike up a decent conversation with you, neither should you ignore them here if they're trying to do the same. Uh huh ... just wondering if the same expectation applies to men when women contact them ... sometimes not even "hitting" on them ... just seeking general information about the area?
I'm new to my area and have written to men just seeking "friendship" ... or information on where one can go in order to socialize. They read the emails and many just delete them ... they make no effort to even be cordial. Perhaps they think I'm hitting on them ... but I'm not. I have not been in a "dating" mood since I lost my son almost two years ago. However, I'm a human being and do enjoy the company of other human beings. So, I'm really not hitting on them ... just trying to get my bearings and find some decent respectable places to go.
I don't necessarily blame the men / women ... perhaps the blame lies with the ways of the world these days ... it's just become so impersonal. No one is "neighborly" any more. It appears that we're all so caught up in our own agendas that we just don't care about the other guy / gal / person anymore. | |
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| Is it rude not to respond to every email?
Posted: 9/30/2007 2:00:10 PM | News at 11: People online can be jerks online just as in person.
WOuld it be the nice thing to do to respond to every message with a no thanks, ya sure. Should it hurt you that someone read/deleted your message, eh more than likely not.
You don't know them so them not responding shouldn't crush your feelings. Any guy crying about this needs to grow a spine and start acting more like a man. | |
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