guess
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Joined: 1/23/2007
Msg: 1 | |
| Had a date today,he thought it was a great date I did not..
Posted: 9/30/2007 6:44:01 PM | | The moment I saw him I felt no,but I had to do what I was supposed to suffer through the date so I did.I know it is many threads about this topic but my question is how come that they can't feel that the date is wrong?We are animals and we should be able to 'read' the other person without their words do.Any thoughts or is it just me? | |
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| Had a date today,he thought it was a great date i did not..
Posted: 9/30/2007 7:02:49 PM | "The moment I saw him I felt no,but I had to do what I was supposed to suffer through the date so I did."
This is my trick to avoid the awkward 2 hour date with someone you may not be attracted to.
Meet up for coffee/tea/ice cream. You can only nurse a coffee for so long. This way, if you're not interested, you've only wasted a half hour or so of your time. But if all goes well, you can suggest continuing the date by going to dinner or whatever or simply make plans for a second date.
If you see no chance for a second date, the next time he msg's you, politely let him know that you didn't feel any chemistry. Be honest. There is no use beating around the bush because, as we women know, guys aren't exactly the quickest when it comes to picking up hints.
P.S. You should plan to meet him there, that way you're not stuck in the car with him and forced to make conversation to ease the awkward silences.
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guess
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Joined: 1/23/2007
Msg: 9 | |
| Had a date today,he thought it was a great date i did not..
Posted: 9/30/2007 7:16:54 PM | Msg 7
Must be it...Since he is sending me texts me on the cell phone ever since the date and are emailing me all the time.. And by the way I made it a very short date,he got twenty mins out of my life,hmm felt longer do. | |
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| Had a date today,he thought it was a great date i did not..
Posted: 9/30/2007 7:23:30 PM | | your profile is hardly going to give any pre-date info so what you got on first meeting was obviously the result of whatever communication you two had beforehand ... as others have said always meet in a safe place and use your own transport so a quick polite exit is available. | |
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| Had a date today,he thought it was a great date i did not..
Posted: 9/30/2007 7:30:21 PM | Yes I always hear people say "we had such a GREAT connection!" and then when you hear from the person on the other end, there was nothing! I don't see how someone can feel such a wonderful connection when there's no reciprocation!
I was recently out with a guy and felt no sparks what so ever. We had a decent time but nothing more. Since then he has been calling and texting and gushing about how wonderful it was. I told him I could see him as a good friend, but he INSISTS there is more there. Um, ok! | |
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guess
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Joined: 1/23/2007
Msg: 14 | |
| Had a date today,he thought it was a great date i did not..
Posted: 9/30/2007 7:30:35 PM | | Some thread deleters outhere doesnt seem to understand that this thread is about signals and how well you can read them or not!I havent found a thread about this and I have been looking for one so this is not a redundant thread! | |
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| Had a date today,he thought it was a great date i did not..
Posted: 9/30/2007 7:51:09 PM | sort of off - topic, but I don't understand why so many people get so bent out of shape about "redundant" threads. I for one, am fairly new to the forums and I'd rather not slog thru a 2 year-old thread that's been reactivated. (IF there even was one for this particular topic.)
As for the topic, THIS is exactly why I've decided to only date men from my general vicinity...a 30-40 minute drive away, tops! Anything more than that, there's already too much energy invested if there's no chemistry. It's also the reason I broke a date yesterday. I was supposed to drive to where he lives, about an hour and half drive, and we were going to an octoberfest with bluegrass bands. A few hours before I was supposed to leave, we were talking on the phone and he informed me that he had gone to the fest the night before and it was just too crowded and the lines were way too long for food or beer and that we were just going to hang out at his house, since you could hear the music from there.
yeah...sure. | |
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EC22
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Joined: 4/25/2007
Msg: 16 | |
| Had a date today,he thought it was a great date i did not..
Posted: 9/30/2007 7:54:30 PM | | It is not uncommon for one person to think the date is going well and the other person thinks the date is going bad. Maybe you match what he is looking for, but he doesn't match what you are looking for. A hint that might be obvious to one person isn't always obvious to someone else. | |
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| Had a date today,he thought it was a great date i did not..
Posted: 9/30/2007 8:00:25 PM | something similar happened to me last week
was just a get aquainted coffee meeting, she gave me her phone number
then when i got home had an e mail saying that she thought the distance was
too far. its about 40 miles, i did tell her that i have been fighting cancer
for almost 4 years now, thinking that was the problem not the distance
I have others tell me that they cant handle the cancer since they have lost a
spouse to it already, and i am cool with that
so how far is to far these days to date or more
Chris | |
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| Had a date today,he thought it was a great date i did not..
Posted: 9/30/2007 8:02:11 PM | | On my very first meet on another site, I met this fella for breakfast, my favorite meal. There was just no chemistry on my part. But it was my first online meet. He suggested one thing after another. I smiled and declined. When I got back home I checked my email, and there was an email from him telling me there was no chemistry and he didn't think we should communicate further. That was the nicest thing he could have done for a newbie. I had no idea of how to reject the guy. Since then, I have seen his profile on various sites. He's a fifty something that wants sex on the first date. If he doesn't get it, you get the boot. That was never going to happen. I just wasn't into him. I'm so glad he ended it early. | |
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| Had a date today,he thought it was a great date I did not..
Posted: 9/30/2007 8:11:59 PM | First I want to comment on your first sentence: You thought of it as "suffering" through the date. That leads me to believe that you went into the date with a negative perception in your mind which, if that's the case, I wonder why you bothered.
Second, you're asking why a person shouldn't think/feel like you do. Maybe you didn't realize, but people are different. We have different minds, different hearts, different attractions and different diversions. He probably liked your personality, you probably disliked something about his physical presentation or his interests. Maybe you felt that there was no compatibility. It's YOUR responsibility to express that to him, and excuse yourself, rather than "suffering" through the date.
Lastly, I think you didn't do enough due diligence before meeting. If you met him without talking on the phone or getting pictures or anything else, that's probably why you were in the situation you were in. | |
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| Had a date today,he thought it was a great date I did not..
Posted: 9/30/2007 8:27:56 PM | Op, I'm curious, was he a nice guy? An interesting person? Was he humorous, good personality? Would the date have been any better if he was a jerk, but good looking?
First off, guys don't get hints like girls, so your gonna have to spell it out.
Secondly, I have gone out with ladies that I knew right away, they was not going to be a physical spark, but had great times with them anyway, and a couple I have become terrific friends with. I just look at online dating for what it is..........a way to meet people, nothing more, nothing less. | |
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| Had a date today,he thought it was a great date I did not..
Posted: 10/1/2007 12:49:09 AM | People cannot read your mind, as much as you would like them to. Suck it up and put a bit of effort into the verbal communication just out of courtesy. If you were not 'into' him then let him know gently, don't be so surprosed because he cant 'sense' you after 20 minutes.
As for signals, you only need to look at the amount of posts on here about people asking "what does it mean when...?" to show you that its a fairly universal thing to misread or not be able to read, signals.... | |
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guess
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Joined: 1/23/2007
Msg: 25 | |
| Had a date today,he thought it was a great date I did not..
Posted: 10/1/2007 5:03:01 AM | hacksalot03
He was at least ten centimeters shorter than he had described him self and at least ten years older too.So as an answer for your questions,he was an ugly jerk!Would it been better to date a good looking jerk?Yes it would,then I would at least have had some 'eyecandy' for 20 mins. | |
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) but choose to Ignore the realitys. Watch for his thread coming soon = Beautiful Lady - Instant connection - No return Calls - WHY?