| | any interesting/funny stories about door knocking evangelists ?Page 1 of 2 (1, 2) | Many years ago ...., when I was a bit of a hippy and moved down just south of east b#m f##k onto a rural property ..., we always had Gehovas witness and mormons coming out to try and save our souls...., our standard modus operandi was to answer the door naked.
Does anybody have any interesting or amusing stories regarding evangelist type people accosting them in the street or at their door ??
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| any interesting/funny stories about door knocking evangelists ?
Posted: 10/1/2007 7:06:47 AM | There was that huge story in the news a few years back, where some people invited them in and offered them "cookies" that had some *herbs* in them that the JWs hadn't encountered before ... 
They ended up getting into a lot of trouble for it ... but I think it's hilarious! 
But, I am just an old nasty and shut the door in their face. I know! I am rude!!  | |
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| any interesting/funny stories about door knocking evangelists ?
Posted: 10/1/2007 4:17:48 PM | fight fire and brimstone with fire and brimstone I say. .and make sure you throw your hands to the sky and use hallelujah every other word.they will be back to the footpath walking the beat faster than flea's to a scabby dog.
I'm glad you came brother hallelujah !! and hallelujah thank you !! A day later and i would have had to kill you in the name of god hallelujah!!!
Exodus 35:2 clearly states that those who work on the Sabbath should be put to death...
tell them you are far to busy to talk as you are re-writing the bible to remove the mistakes.
14:8 classifies bats as birds; they are not birds, they are mammals
if they are wearing glass's then tell them according to Lev. chapter 21, pretty much states anybody without perfect vision cannot approach the altar of God.
how do you feel about going to hell, hallelujah!!! but thank you for spreading the word of god.
there's plenty more lol
they soon learn which house's to avoid | |
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| any interesting/funny stories about door knocking evangelists ?
Posted: 10/1/2007 4:39:17 PM | | Sounds like I'm up the creek then, no approaching God's Altar for me! When I was in my teens in Townsville we used to have a lot of Mormon boys doorknocking. I'd answer the door in a bathrobe, they never knew where to look! It's amazing the shades of red you'd see, lol. Now I just invite them in for a cuppa & a Tarot reading with the Circle Or maybe it should be | |
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| any interesting/funny stories about door knocking evangelists ?
Posted: 10/1/2007 9:27:46 PM | | My housemate told me when he was sharing with his brother before I moved in, some JWs came to the door and his brother came to the door wearing his g/f's clothes and putting on a gay voice before asking if they also loved homosexuals (good question) to which they danced around the topic long enough for him to say thank you but no thanks. Perhaps they have the some fashion tips on those daring white sleeve business shirts that they never get tired of wearing. | |
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| any interesting/funny stories about door knocking evangelists ?
Posted: 10/2/2007 3:35:17 AM | Best when they show up and I'm still crissed & just getting home from a big night out.
Breathe all over them, pretend to be able to finish a sentence without burping, and try not to vomit on their shoes...
Yeah, how come I never get to 'endure' any hot evangelist babes? No fair. | |
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| any interesting/funny stories about door knocking evangelists ?
Posted: 10/2/2007 3:40:09 AM | easy..........
had just shaved my head............back in the 70s this was
It was around 9am, when the jw, came a knocken.........
I little under the wheather still, from the night before.
butt naked..( i heard that)
so picked up a sheet & answer the door...
the sheet was an orange...........
took, me a while to work out why they took off so quick | |
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LodyMc
| | Joined: 9/12/2007
Msg: 12 | |
| any interesting/funny stories about door knocking evangelists ?
Posted: 10/2/2007 4:57:20 AM | Anyone ever watched the series John Saffran vs God?
In one episode he heads to Salt Lake City and with a friend goes door knocking for athiesm spreading the word of Darwin.
I nearly died laughing.
I generally ask them for their phone number and address and then ask if I can swing by late one weekend at an inconvenient time for them to try and sell them what I believe. They usually leave pretty quickly. | |
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| any interesting/funny stories about door knocking evangelists ?
Posted: 10/2/2007 5:23:12 AM | strangely, today we had pre-warning of a door knocking evangelist, I was dared and had just enuf time to strip naked or try sarg's idea of borrowing the g/f's skirt and bra for a church meeting at my front door..
but I chicken'd out at last moment.......
and I'm glad I did as it turned out the rap rap rapping on my front door was not a holy message but a door-knock appeal for breast cancer. could have been ugly and didn't mind parting with some coin | |
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| any interesting/funny stories about door knocking evangelists ?
Posted: 10/3/2007 3:14:11 AM | I was pulled over by a very sweet looking lady cop.
I got of my bike, moved to her police car, put my hands on the bonnet, with my feet apart..
& gave her a funny little look..
her respose;s to this was...
IN YOUR DREAMS.......show me your licence | |
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auseel
| | Joined: 7/26/2007
Msg: 22 | |
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| any interesting/funny stories about door knocking evangelists ?
Posted: 10/4/2007 8:39:36 PM | I've never really being that impolite, my most immediate response usually is "Thanks, I can read the Bible for myself, I don't need you to translate God's message and that you are not better than I". But I would have thought a standard "F**k off" then slamming the door would be sufficient.
Cheers, | |
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| any interesting/funny stories about door knocking evangelists ?
Posted: 8/10/2011 7:23:04 AM | Many years ago, I was home on leave from the army and one night I caught up with some friends and we went drinking.
I finally got home in time for breakfast before everyone had left for their respective jobs and at about 7.30 in the morning and after about an hours sleep there was someone knocking on the front door, so I got up out of bed and answered the knocking.
There were 2 JW waiting patiently for somebody too talk to them.
As they started their well worn speeches I butted in and asked them if they knew what I did for a living and when they said no, I then informed them that I was a trained killer and I always get rather annoyed when people come knocking on the door at 7.30am and if I have been drinking the night before then I get really peed off, yes they left in a very big rush.
The following year when I returned home on leave again, my family asked me if there had been any JW's knocking on the door the last time I was at home and I said yes, my families response was Ahhhh, now we know the reason that the JW's were crossing the road and giving the house a wide berth.
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